can there be a fake sensation of a lump in my throat which shoots energy off?

I'm not crying wolf i don't just make up stories for attention and have been victimised e.g put on suicide watch,huffed deoderant because the smells indicted to, forced to fast. I don't need huge attention just a full entity clearing. I NEED to see my mum again.

I'm also not psychotic nor paranoid. I feel sane.I am basically being asked to gaslight myself based on all the sensations, smells, entities, voices, dreams, signs, ground-rumbling, and to say lord krishna, kali, ksitigigarbah, jesus, etc is lying. I had sensations of cuts on my dick for crying out loud. I want to continue but I cannot understand How to. When I don't react it makes no difference, most of the time I am calm. I haven't had any new energies, energetic symptoms for a while now its like i got abandoned and id be happy to go back to normal life except this energy in my throat chakra which no one can apparently see is still there firing at people all the time

But I really don't get why I'm being predatory. I stay in my room most of the time. This drama is real 100% as or who is a real deity and an entity, I make room for your suggestions, but lord krishna definitely is real not a sock puppet and says about the cancer issue. The buddha used the word "dharmakaya" which i'd never heard before. The feminine presidential voice said it was about being celibate due to my sexual karma I told you about. What I really need is the entity in my head gone, it shoots energy out in violation of my intention. And this infinite supply vortex of energy which they say causes cancer out of my throat. Can such appearances really manifest on hell road?

My soul surely can be ruined; in buddhism there is reincarnation and bad people go to hells where they r tortured and not prison where they r reformed. Plz give me 1 more shot on FB. you don't know how badly I want to graduate to being a healer but I haven't been able to get past this, and this drama is not made-up. I really did experience my pheremones being swapped with another girls'. I can't use vortex to clear smells anymore. Nothing new has happened in nearly 2 months now. Just stuck with an energy that multiple deities claim causes cancer. If it truly does then what I'm explaining makes sense. She was making the floor rumble for me I don't have much other explanation than that and Ksititigarbah why is he an entity why is every deity I talk to an entity then, they often literally appear in my dreams.

Hell should be abolished, maybe a topic for another post btw, but it is against geneva convention. Yes even Hitler deserves a chance for redemption and reformation, not torture. If I ever do gain powers I'd use them to abolish Hell forever.

Welcome to the Tearoom Jacob.

 It has been what, two months to get you to respect the basic boundary: Support is via the tearoom, not fb, not email, not fb calls. Good to see you got the memo, finally because if you will not learn basic respect for boundaries ... well, persistently predatory vamps get kicked to the curb.

There is a price to pay for mis-use of magic, karma of energy theft and it is: batshit crazy paranoia.

So much of what you are so afraid of, is not real. You do not listen to me telling you, it is not real. Perhaps you will listen to others.

Planetary consciousness stopped talking to me ages ago because I'm not fasting.

That is not real. It is not in the nature of the Planetary Consciousness to reject any of Her creations, nor does She force specific behaviours: Your free will is Her law. She sees you as perfect, no matter what you do.

You project your fears onto the Planet, and what you get is your reflection, not the truth of Her love and wisdom.

You prefer to believe the false reflection, over me telling you it is not real.

What am I supposed to do with that? Like Richard Bach said: "Argue for your limitations, you get to keep them."
Power of your free will.

It is the nature of Hell Road to bring up all the fears and the karma, to be surrendered. You seem to prefer to attach and obsess, and the only one who can choose to change that, is you.

No-one can walk Hell Road for you, the shaman must be purified of all fears before you get access to the powers.
Shamans cannot be predators, yet you persist with the same behaviours that got you stuck, with absolute refusal to face it, instead all the wild stories of your helplessness.

Mystress said shamanic awakening is brutal but this destroyed my karma and soul.

Your soul cannot be harmed, by anything you do in this life. All your predictions and beliefs of being doomed, are not real.

I have told you this, many times before. You are facing the karma of about a decade of using drama and constant emergencies to get attention and feed on the life force of others.

That is your primary karmic issue and the one you are least willing to face: you cannot be a shaman, and a predator. You won't be getting out of this Chapel Perilous until you have reformed.

No-one can do that for you. It is up to you, to face your fears and make a change.

You have had shamans and vamps tending you remote and real time for months but no-one can take what you are not willing to let go. You persistently choose to hold onto these wrong ideas, you get to keep them.

 I was told to bend my feet until maximum pain threshold for 72 hours of vortex cleaning up the harmful energies shooting out by an entity i cant clear in my head.

Anything that wants you to torture yourself, is not real. I have told you this whole thing of how you think you are harming people, shooting cancer at people etc, is not real. It is a deflection from facing up to how you have been harming people by stealing life force... yet you refuse to face or even consider that. 

 You want to hold onto it. Free will says, you can... but why are you?

I was working on you last night, Retro and identity splinters. Didn't find many, not surprised because the voices of psychosis are not that. They are a reflection of karma stuff.

Kisitigarbah and Chacmool who are basically done with me for continuing to eat, talk outloud and spread energies without much care.

That is not real either.

I want to serve Mystress for the rest of my lifetimes.

That is really not your call to make. I teach people to serve Goddess within themselves, and do not enslave my students. I don't believe in reincarnation either so, the statement is not respectful. Boundaries, when will you learn to respect them?

 The attitude might be beneficial if it meant you actually listen to me.
You prefer to listen to your fears, all the false gods and negative voices. Nobody but you has the power to change that. Basics of free will, choose love or fear and on hell road, you have to choose love or you get stuck like you are stuck. You persistently choose fear and obsess.

I know, OCD can be redirected to discipline, when will you start?

Making me be Goddess for you is a kind of karma dumping, passing me stuff you are not willing to let go, means it turns toxic to me. Gopi and dreamwalker are peeling it off me but the situation cannot continue because Shamans need to own their power.

You have all these crazy stories about how you think you are harming people, none of it is real, it is deflection.
 
The karma you need to face is how you used drama to get attention to feed on the life energies of others, at least since puberty and kept having to up the stakes with increased emergencies until the drama and the karma of misuse of magic: paranoia, became real for you.

I can think of no safer place for a psychotic shaman on hell road, than suicide watch in a mental hospital. Might not have taken you on, if you were not receiving 24/7 proper psychiatric care.

I know you are not genuinely suicidal. You love your mom too much to hurt her like that, and it is not your destiny.

If you really are stupid enough to do what the entities tell you, then maybe you are not worth my time.

I know you are smart enough and strong enough to pull yourself out, but the question is, will you? 


Mother Earth herself offered me to be a devotee and celibate

No, She didn't. That idea is almost comical, the Planet is very sex-positive. All acts of love and pleasure are Her rituals. She has zero interest in collecting devotees, let along negotiating for that.

I am not going to address all your litany of complaints, I have heard them all before and telling you it is not real is just wasting my time. You do not want to listen.

You have been taught how to dig yourself out, but you fall back to your eternal victim comfort zone, demanding attention and rescue instead of applying what you have learned.

Sure, people are picking the lint off you but so long as you persistently choose to invest in fear, you keep making more. 

Mother Earth is furious

She has zero capacity for that, in fact it is arrogant to suggest your silly dramas could ever perturb Her eternal peace.

I am sure you have experienced a lot of rejection in your life: people lose patience with the boy who always cries wolf, and soon notice always feeling tired after interacting with you.

Of course people get frustrated and angry with you, you are preying on their time and attention to get at their life energy... but to project those emotions onto the Planet Mother is sheer delusion.

She does not judge, or care what people project onto Her, it is your own relationship with Her that suffers from your projections.

You get through hell road, and psychotic paranoia, by persistently choosing love and surrender.

 When will you start?

update:
I'm distraught beyond measure. I can't leave my mum.
I'm utterly begging for forgiveness and receive no response but an occasional smell from Kisitigarbah and Chacmool who are basically done with me for continuing to eat, talk outloud and spread energies without much care. Planetary consciousness stopped talking to me ages ago because I'm not fasting.
Really its up to Mystress to save me perhaps by convincing Mother Earth that she and other vamps of their free-will could clearup my mess here,making this hospital and its staff super karmically clean. (and my family too plz)... and well hopefully my awful beyond respite karma too. I was told to bend my feet until maximum pain threshold for 72 hours of vortex cleaning up the harmful energies shooting out by an entity i cant clear in my head. I'm seriously unsure of how this escalated this far from really not that much disobedience.
Mystress said shamanic awakening is brutal but this destroyed my karma and soul. I'm going to Vajra Hell the worst Buddhist hell. My karma is awful because I've risked human life, and failed to hurt myself instead sleeping.

really cool additions

Please take on my Karma as your own. I was wondering whether Mystress can make an Astral Realm,a "Pure Realm" like Kundalini Mystic Isle where we can all go after death. Or ask Goddess to abolish Hell realms where people get tortured and replace with a Liberal Rehabilitative Justice. Astral Prison. I deserve Astral Prison not Hell.
I want to serve Mystress for the rest of my lifetimes.

I've been sectioned for 60 days due to suicidal tendencies. I need desperate help to clean up this hospital as according to the deities I've trauma dumped it with soul loss energies, harmful and baneful energies and worst of all energies which cause a subtle increase in chance of developing cancer.
Dorset Ward, Chase Farm, UK.

I'm very suicidal and been told by Goddess to kms as I don't deserve to live, I lost rights to use vortex due to developing heavy negative karma and the Buddha Ksititigharba, whom I called upon as a last crisis call, said I'm going to vajra hell for disobeying him. It all began when I arrived and had silver energies and needed a metal test which I still haven't got. Then I had a dream where a giant siren bird thing raped me. I had infertile bird energies in me and entities which shot them at random women.Including my pregnant sister and got a bad karma alarm.I decided to betray my shaman vowels and called for Lord Krishna to appear in a dream. He appeared with his Mace and gave me a mantra Om Krishnaya Namaha which worked instantly. He asked me to be celibate and a devotee. He made me paranoid about vortex saying it was a soul trap and the shadow lady so I didn't clear the entities as asked. I thought he must be a sock puppet but he was real and showed me his essence which is of the peacock.

I called for Lord Jesus and everyone began praying to him and a patient played a christian song. I had a dream of an entity abusing children and saying "Ive got you now". I had an energy which causes respiratory depression and harmed me and released into the room followed by entry by an elderly cleaner whom I am responsible for harming. I ignored Jesus and saw visions of bees swarming me. I wanted to continue with the FST course.

At some point I had a chapel perlious, Krishna told me to go to guatemala and be homeless, first he offered living in a flat alone with just a pen-pal. I thought it was an entity he said I'd be responsible for harming people. I had a very dark energy and the thought of a plane-crash, the day after a plane-crashed killing 3 people.

Amitbah the Buddha of Infinite Light also offered that I be a devotee and vegetarian. again due to my extreme naivity I ignored Him. Mother Earth herself offered me to be a devotee and celibate but I ignored Her, I had visions of my mother crying in grief over my dead body and a child was screaming Allahu Akbar on the news paper it says something about unwell children.

The Buddha told me my sister's pregnant baby will die aged 24 due to Leukemia. My dreams involve harming people by exposing myself to large crowds including women and children. An entity in my head sometimes reads out lists of women and shoots energy at them which they all say causes cancer. Mother Earth told me I don't deserve to live, made the ground rumble, and gave me smells of Deoderant. I tried huffing it to KMS and failed.

I insulted the Shadow Teacher right at the beginning before the plane-crash and he threatened me to go to Hell, I said "Il get enlightened before". He despises me and is not funny like with Mystress and swapped my hormones with a girl's I used to know and when I asked if he catches my energies he said no. In fact, Mother Earth said my energies are not being caught and I don't deserve Vortex anymore nor do I deserve to live due to risking peoples lives here e.g asking for sandwhiches.

Theres this energy in my throat chakra and nobody can see it but its there i swear it. and i dont know what to do since nobody is answering my prayers. I also was visited by the Jewish God since I'm Jewish who again showed me his beautiful essence. He asked me to fast for 9 days in fact Mother Earth is furious since I continue to eat and drink which spreads my saliva, I fasted for 4 days.

I've been asked to hurt my feet for respite to get vortex to take away the energy which harms, when I do the exercise which hurts and don't eat I get positive smells and when I don't I get negative ones. I had dreams of burn victims, birds trying to pluck my eyes out, and large dog on me. and worst of all sekhmet threatened me with basket of human-eating bugs. I hate bugs.

I haven't seen my mother in months. I risked my father's life by seeing him despite the fact that hes a doctor who works in hospital. I'm unable to do anything. I was treated brutally from the start for example when I ate sugary cereal I had bird energies in me which caused me to vomit. And hecate made it so that when I vaped I had baneful energies which cause allergic symptoms and I continued to vape and accidentally sent it to my niece and nephew.

I need help urgently. To save my life. Im sorry to say. Im willing to do hard labour and austerities for the rest of my life to make up for the fact that I accidentally dumped the hospital with harmful energies and didnt protect people but I receive no answers.
You probably wont believe this and think I made this story up because no deity will admit they told me to KMS and to protect you legally.