tummo fire and sex bliss

[DeviRam]

Hello Mystress,
One of the important source of inspiration in 2002 has been to be able to attend your course, I very much thank you for all of it. I wish that in 2003 the bliss you give to us will return to you thousand fold.
It is cold here, and so I put tummo fire at test, and it works great...If I feel cold I ask for it to be enlivenend, and the body becomes permeated with a very gentle and very tangible warmth...Also this winter I am much less sensitive to cold, may be due to increase kundalini?
Both my husband and I enjoyed a lot the lesson on the difference of sexual experience between men and women. It brings a lot more richness to our sex experience I feel.
Your description of orgasm in 3 stages for a woman helped me a lot to understand this orgasm issue which I have. The point is that since I do not have the big bang orgasm people describe I keep wondering if I miss something in my experience or not.
May I describe a few experiences and ask you to please tell me if they do correspond to any stage of orgasm you describe in the lesson?
-feeling that the yoni is like a magical secret garden, filled with light, that is the plateau stage?
-feeling that my husband 's sex energy is going up to touch my heart chakra which then opens like a lotus, plateau stage?
-tintling in the whole body?
-warmth and glow of pleasure spreading up in the body, plateau stage?
-thrill of deep fulfilment opening up to pervade the body, over the plateau stage?
-deep feeling of wonder and gratitude, like the body is a temple of light, over the plateau stage?
So could it be that my orgasms are just no big bang experiences, or is there still another stage to be aiming at?
Thank you. I have been very busy the past 6 months, so could not be as much in touch with the tea room as I would have liked to, but your presence is a blessing in life...
Love from DeviRam

[Mystress]

: Hello Mystress,
: One of the important source of inspiration in 2002 has been to be able to attend your course, I very much thank you for all of it. I wish that in 2003 the bliss you give to us will return to you thousand fold.

Thanks! It seems to be so...  

: It is cold here, and so I put tummo fire at test, and it works great...If I feel cold I ask for it to be enlivenend, and the body becomes permeated with a very gentle and very tangible warmth...Also this winter I am much less sensitive to cold, may be due to increase kundalini?

It could be partly the Tummo fire, and also partly that the karma being released serves to increase circulation, blood flow.

: Both my husband and I enjoyed a lot the lesson on the difference of sexual experience between men and women. It brings a lot more richness to our sex experience I feel.

I'm glad!

: Your description of orgasm in 3 stages for a woman helped me a lot to understand this orgasm issue which I have. The point is that since I do not have the big bang orgasm people describe I keep wondering if I miss something in my experience or not.

Well, I spent quite a bit of time contemplating how to explain an orgasm to you.. and did not come up with anything!

  What seems to be absent in your description is the physical sensations of the orgasm itself. You describe the movement of the energy and the emotional processes, like you are having energy orgasms but not physical ones.
 Physical orgasm is accompanied by physical tension... so much so, that sometimes after an intense shower tantra ritual my belly, legs and bottom is stiff for a few days, like it would be after unaccustomed physical excercise.

 The step one of orgasm, the building pleasure is also a building of muscular tension in the body, often expressed as effort, hips thrusting and lovers holding each other tightly. During the plateau phase, often my whole body is ridgid, every muscle tightened and sometimes not moving. The plateau phase is just that, the pleasure is not overtly increasing but there is a feeling of silent increase, suspense almost. Think of the tension of a guitar string being silently tightened, watching it and knowing that it is going to snap. The third stage is usually accompanied with spasmodic thrashing or thrusting movements and vocalizations. I'm a bit of a screamer, myself.  

  Because my energy is trained to go upward, sometimes I have to focus on my second chakra, to feel desire. I suspect something like that may be the case with you. Allow the energy to really build up in the pelvis and second chakra, instead of automatically directing it upward. Focus more on the physical, genital sensations.

 To really get to know your body, you need to masturbate. Having a partner is lovely, but also distracting... your focus is on him, how to please him, etc.

  I suggest you get yourself a toy, a nice vibrator, and/or experiement with shower tantra. I use the shower massager on the jet setting, aimed at my clitoris.

 Water won't make you sore, but be sure it is not too hot. I have been doing this since I was about 12, but it took quite some time before I learned to orgasm. When the pleasure got intense I would stop, afraid of the intensity. One day I did not stop, and had my first orgasm. Many more followed!

  I also find I do not get numb from water stimulation, as I do from a vibrator or touch sometimes. The clit is very sensitive, so if you find you are getting numb, stop for a moment, then when you resume you will find the sensitivity and intensity has increased.

  Experiment with tightening your belly, yoni and leg muscles as you masturbate. This happens naturally as the sensation increases, but I sometimes find doing it deliberately increases the intensity.

 I sometimes have to ask my DB to allow me to release, otherwise he just keeps increasing the energy... Which is fun and useful from a tantric viewpoint, but orgasm is fun too! Lots of them.

  I suggest you rent a porn movie, and watch the women. They may be faking it for the camera, but presumably they could not fake it if they had not experienced it, so you will be able to observe them even if they are acting. If you are not too shy, ask your friends to reccomend their favorite films. Sometimes "amatuer" films of loving, married couples can be more intense and genuine than the professionaly directed variety. You will also be able to tune in on them a little bit, intuitively and learn more. Use your discretion and intuition to guide you... usually, if the couple is exhibitionistic enough to want to be filmed, then they won't mind your taking a closer look via ESP. Ask your heart.

: May I describe a few experiences and ask you to please tell me if they do correspond to any stage of orgasm you describe in the lesson?
: -feeling that the yoni is like a magical secret garden, filled with light, that is the plateau stage?

For me, that is near the beginning... just getting started, nowhere near plateau.

: -feeling that my husband 's sex energy is going up to touch my heart chakra which then opens like a lotus, plateau stage?

Same as above.

: -tintling in the whole body?

My whole body tingles all the time... during sex, the tingling overflows into pleasure everywhere.  

: -warmth and glow of pleasure spreading up in the body, plateau stage?

For me that is part of stage one.

: -thrill of deep fulfilment opening up to pervade the body, over the plateau stage?

Still stage one.

: -deep feeling of wonder and gratitude, like the body is a temple of light, over the plateau stage?

Hmmm... for me, the increasing light is part of stage one... the plateau stage is like my body is the sun, and stage three is like being struck by lightning. The yoni makes contractions like childbirth, but more gentle. I feel them from the opening, to my belly button. Squeezing rhythmically.

 There is a sense of wonder and gratitude after, and sometimes giggles and giddiness. There is an afterglow of pleasure that lasts for a while, and often my yoni continues to twitch with pulses of contractions for several minutes after, each twitch sending a jolt of pleasure up my body, and down my legs into the balls of my feet.  

: So could it be that my orgasms are just no big bang experiences, or is there still another stage to be aiming at?

A few stages, I think!! But every woman's experience is unique, and our descriptions may be different too. It could also be that you are empathically feeling your husband's orgasm and not your own. That is part of why masturbating is important.

: Thank you. I have been very busy the past 6 months, so could not be as much in touch with the tea room as I would have liked to, but your presence is a blessing in life...
: Love from DeviRam

and you too! Blessings...