Space...comander...

[Sean]

Hello,

Yes, I've been promoted. Go ahead and talk on this one....

Ok...You remember a while ago I said I saw like a thing inside my heart that was a little box, but if you went in it, it was limitless? And I was confused and I told it to go away for later? ... Well its later...

I never told anyone this before. But when I got in touch with my Higher Self before... All this crap came up that night. Tons of it. One of the highlights was this slimy green little alien freak that was pointing very very close at my Heart and was yelling and very mad and was so clear.. He said, "We have been watching you for 20 years!!" .... Ok... Surrendered that... Took me a few days to get it all silenced... I had no idea...  

Now, as I release trauma, my awareness is going out without hurting. I saw another alien freak, a different one. On a few occations. Also messing with my Heart. This one had the connections on the back of it. Goddess helped me out with that one.

I had a dream a few days ago, I was walking around an appartment all confused till I heard a very loud voice that said very very loudly and clearly, "SURRENDER THE ALIEN!" In the dream I did this. And I suddenly became so powerfull and had so much energy rushing through me, I was shaking all over. I felt I could move a water bottle by me and shot it across the room and blew up a clock by it...rest of dream whatever....  So when I woke up after.. I woke up really slow...really slow... I felt around... AND THERE ARE SLIMY GREEN HANDS AROUND MY HEART! What the hell?? I look around really slowly and see the same damn little slimy green alien from the first time under me... Hes like in some trance state, head off to the side, he doesn't know I'm aware... I pull all me in, drop to earth and surrender it. Right before I dropped I saw him snap back in a hurry. Surrendered...Gone... WTF???!!! GODDESS GET IN HERE!!! She not only tells me its name. She also takes me to its home system too! Coolest part was the Pixies fly with me now, along with my archangles I always call in. It was like a fighter squadron...Pretty cool... We jumped, I saw it... I left... Damn.

My heart felt so much better after that!

Went to a new age expo later on that day...

Then I'm journalling away...and I write about how I saw these geometric shapes with crystals and all. And my empath buddy was telling me how its a universal language. I know it has truth in it, I can see the systems! I kept asking the guy, Where is this? Where does this go? He didn't know.... He kept telling me about metronomns...I didn't know what a metronomn was..... Anyways, journaling, I wrote that this was a really cool system.. and this voice inside says, "Well is should be I helped create it..." ......ok...... I stop writing for a bit.... Think in... Then I see something opening in my heart, getting bigger and bigger and bigger... Its a universe. Or universes. It filled my body. I looked inside and saw outer space, beyond. Beyond everything. I was, disturbed. I kinda asked what it was... The voice said, "I can show you everything you ever wanted to know.." And it started to show me star systems, stuff I don't understand. I told it to stop and surrendered it. This is out of hand... Its still was there.... The voice was gone. But I thought about it... and I felt like a portal of some kind. I still could very easily look inside. I started to complain and yell at Goddess... She asked if it was too big, and made it smaller, so it was just around my heart. OK.... OK...  

So I decided to roll with is... I mean I bet there are other people with portals and things in them.... someplace...  So I continue to journal... and it hit me......

Those aliens, or what I percieved as aliens, or whatever the hell is going on.... All trying to do things with my heart..... My heart... ...is a gateway, or a portal, or a com device.. I remembered at the show, the people holding those crystal things with the shapes on them, kinda tranced out, looking for something, using something to see something... I remembered the last alien.... tranced out, looking for something,  using.....

I've made no judgments yet...

Its still there. The portal Goddess gave me a way to close it almost all the way and She set up a guard around it when I started to freak so that can't happen again. It has zepherim(??) Zeraphim? (The Z is very important to say??) angels all around it, and this big guard in front..

Then today I start doing meditations on how I have to say goodbye to the universe because I'm on earth now. I do earth meditations all the time. Very grounding... Goddess said She was taking away my portal now, but I could go back to space later on... Not a big deal to me, I only have one time I every half conciously used it, and that was to put a safty on it. Evidently I used it a lot...  Then I went to talk to my energy in my room, I think her name is Michell???  BTW, its a great air filter and air ioniser too.... I love it, everyone should have one. I didn't see my portal anymore, I kinda miss it. Not many kids on my block have one... But it/she was laughing at me and said I don't need it anyway, why dont I just use the one in me... Very funny...

I ask Goddess, WHAT IS THIS? She says... "Its you.." I say, "Is it a gateway?" ..."Its for you!" Its me evidently.

Check it out. My feelers are under it.. or in it... I cant tell anymore... Its all one.

I've just gotten a "Museam of self discovery" That the Pixies showed me. I've gotten along a lot better with then since I realised that the only reason I couldnt see them before was because I was afraid of them. They like me though.. Help me out sometimes. They pulled this 5" tall Buhdist monk off me that would not shut up about his teaching when I was trying to sleep "So important for me his student to learn.." He stands on my chest and rambles about trust, or something I don't understand yet. I was about to tell him off when 2 pixies shot down, grabbed his arms and took him to a shelf.... I was laughing about that... Anyways, I can learn. But I'm afraid to... I'm terrified.  I wasn't going to write all of this till ever... till today, a few hours ago...

I told the pixies to take me to my museam, or the training facility to practice my toys. But I couldn't move. Grounding meditation's... Also I'm not supposed to go anywhere for a few days. A big thing just happened for me... So I'm bored.. Can't fly.. Pixies are standing around.... I pull out the wand. Mine as well try them out here.. They back up, "How'd you get that?" I was about to explain about it, but I called in Goddess first.. Next thing I know my wand is back in my inventory, like it was smacked there... I say huh? Then I get the sense of an overpowering negative, dark overpowering force on my left side! Like something just came in and was getting closer! I looked at it... Its all dark.. this is it... I'm surrendering this now! Holy crap this is powerfull! Its gone. Didn't touch me, But it burnt my energy on my entire left side away. Holy crap! I asked what the hell it was. Demon... What? What the hell? It was atracted to the wand? Later ...This indian guy said that I did a lot of trauma work all day today and I am halucinating about the demon. My body says it was real. Check out my left side. Thank Goddess I have Her working without me now. I'm re-charging now.

Also I've figured out something about me that my internal yoga teacher said I was not supposed to know about yet. Can't even talk about it. I get rushes of super energy every...

no more talk...

I'm just a guy working through PTSD and trying to get his life back together... PTSD is the oposite of enlightenment BTW.  How did this all happen?

I have to stop now...

Later..

Sean