karma clearing for the visually impaired

[Laura]

Hey folks!  It feels good to be back in the tea room.  I have been away for a while.

At Mystress' request, I thought I would try to share my experiences of the karma clearing exercise.  I came to this section of the course and sort of jumped off the train, since no matter how hard I krinkle my forhead, willed it, relaxed into it, tried to take it by surprise when it wasn't looking, I am currently (though not naturally or permanently) visually inept.  I have a really hard time "seeing" or imagining at whim.  I think my third eye is chicken shit right now, though I distinctly remember as a youth being able to daydream whole soap operas in full living color, visiting secret rooms, travelling to other worlds with remarkable ease.  This has made some of the exercises, particularly the karma clearing, a real challenge for me, and i have stuggled with confidence issues accordingly.

During my last healing session with Angelique, she helped me to approach the karma clearing in a somatic way, a more tactile and sensory way, that has been totally making me feel empowered and embodied. This is what she suggested according to my understanding:

You can actually do this anywhere at anytime, but while sitting in meditation, notice what thoughts arise, and then notice your body's responses to those thoughts.  For me, this is usually a very subtle (or often not so subtle) sensation of tension, like something is gently pushing on a part of my body, I can usually feel the shape of this tension, I clearly locate it, and then I surrender it to God-dess.  When I surrender it, I usually notice that the location of the tension shifts to somewhere else in my body, I go to the new location with my awareness and surrender it again.  Often mulitple places display themselves at the same time, and I am surrenduring tension in several paths at once (perhaps my Divine Beloved is so pleased that I am finally noticing

This is pretty fun, actually.  You start listening to your body a lot more in day to day experiences, like talking on the phone, or watching TV, and the very physical responses that it triggers.  Sometime i feel like a numbskull 'cause i will be watching something totally cheesy on TV, but the words might trigger some karmic memory response in my body, and then i surrender it and find myself crying at commercials or something like that.

It really drives home the experience of emotion as a sensation in the body, pre-language, pre-interpretation, stored memories.  This has been a totally liberating experience...allowing me to focus upon and surrender the sensations as tensions themselves, which are highly neutral, and disidentify with the content of the thoughts, which are often not so neutral and easy to get swept away in their vectorship.

I highly recommend this meditation, even if you are more visually adept.  Having such an active communication with my expressive, sensory, talkative embodiment has been deepening into this beautiful relationship with something that is both genuinely other and self at the same time, and wow, it is kindof hedonistic Like being your self and lover at the same time, two in one, the world is touching you all of the time, you never have to leave the house

Affectionately,
Laura K

[Shara]

Hello Laura,

  Though I have not gotten to the Karma Clearing Lesson yet, I really enjoyed your post about your "tactile" karma clearing.

: During my last healing session with Angelique, she helped me to approach the karma clearing in a somatic way, a more tactile and sensory way, that has been totally making me feel empowered and embodied. This is what she suggested according to my understanding:

: You can actually do this anywhere at anytime, but while sitting in meditation, notice what thoughts arise, and then notice your body's responses to those thoughts.  For me, this is usually a very subtle (or often not so subtle) sensation of tension, like something is gently pushing on a part of my body, I can usually feel the shape of this tension, I clearly locate it, and then I surrender it to God-dess.  When I surrender it, I usually notice that the location of the tension shifts to somewhere else in my body, I go to the new location with my awareness and surrender it again.  Often mulitple places display themselves at the same time, and I am surrenduring tension in several paths at once (perhaps my Divine Beloved is so pleased that I am finally noticing

  That is so wonderful...makes me wonder if you are not using your third eye right now simply so that you can increase your abilities to "feel" energy.

  I'm wondering if this works with music also.  I certainly feel very deep emotions through music.  Has anyone had experiences here?  

 I had a smile over your "cheesy-karma-trigger" thing.  After I have felt some heavy duty clearing going on with me, I have warned my husband, "Watch out, I'm a land mine today."
One wrong step...But often it is some cheesy Hallmark moment that gets me booin and hooin....sheesh.

Thanks for the beautiful post, Laura.

                      Shara

[Mystress]

:
: Hey folks!  It feels good to be back in the tea room.  I have been away for a while.

  Welcome back!

: At Mystress' request, I thought I would try to share my experiences of the karma clearing exercise.  I came to this section of the course and sort of jumped off the train, since no matter how hard I krinkle my forhead, willed it, relaxed into it, tried to take it by surprise when it wasn't looking, I am currently (though not naturally or permanently) visually inept.  I have a really hard time "seeing" or imagining at whim.  

For my part, I have been wondering why people are having a hard time with the concept of the karma clearing. I know I am primarily visual, I tend to describe things visually and it is visual people who would be drawn to streaming video, I'd think... but I thought I had covered the kinesthetic=feeling methods as well, especially in the "Body talk" lesson. I use both, probably I use feeling more than visual for my own body, and visual when working with someone else.

: I think perhaps I am speaking of seeing when I mean sensing, and listening when I mean feeling. My synesthesia is affecting my communications. I communicate in the language of energy, vibrations.

 I really appreciate getting feedback and finding out what parts of the course are not communicated clearly, so I can find a new way to express them.

Writing is fun for me, I have recently realized that the writing is more fun than the healing work... a passing phase, perhaps. Part of my orbit.

 Similarly, I thought I had covered the concept of non-duality as chakra dimensions, in the chakra lesson, and I know the topic of non-duality is a thread running all through the course. Finding out that some people still did not understand it is important to me.

It is.. kind of ironic sometimes. Occasionally, someone who has been on my lists, a net-friend for years will write to me very excited that they finally "grok" surrender! I am very happy for them but a part of me wonders that all this time when I have been assuming I am being heard and understood, it has been like the far side cartoon, "what we say to dogs, and what they hear." Kind of humbling... it reminds me that the words only serve to carry the Shakti charge.

: During my last healing session with Angelique, she helped me to approach the karma clearing in a somatic way, a more tactile and sensory way, that has been totally making me feel empowered and embodied. This is what she suggested according to my understanding:

You expressed it very well!

: You can actually do this anywhere at anytime, but while sitting in meditation, notice what thoughts arise, and then notice your body's responses to those thoughts.

Right! The thoughts themselves are not important... the body reactions, are! They show you where in your body the karma is located so you can let it go.

 Ego stuff is NOT mysterious! It has form, patterns and structure that show up in the energy body visually through the third eye, or physically by feeling what hurts. Where there are places of tension inside you.

You can see anyone's karma with your physical eyes by observing their  posture... seeing how the tension of karma they carry has bent them out of shape.

 Watch people on the street.. the bowed shoulders of someone feeling burdened by life, the rigid shoulders and hands clenched of someone feeling challenged or threatened, the relaxed person whose walk flows like a cheetah.

You can just look at people and see where their karmic isses are by observing their stress points in how they stand and move. With a touch of empathy, you get all the information, feeling all their stress points, in yourself... but empathy tends to follow attention, and so the navel gazing of giving your attention to your inner landscape instead of the external triggers helps keep the empathy easy to handle.

 I once had a love slave who was physically a very big person, but I could not seem to get him to stand up straight. He thought he was standing up straight, when he still was hunched over. Finally Goddess showed me what it was, he mentioned he had grown very tall while still young. I know from other experience, when that happens to boys they start getting treated as adults when they are not yet emotionally mature, and it stunts their emotional growth.  As a result their sense of themselves is smaller than their physical body, and they appear slouched over protecting their heart and belly. Protecting the child inside them. Trying to be smaller so the sudden burden of responsibilities will go away. That is why tall people are sometimes clumsy, their body feels smaller than it really is, they do not have a clear sense of where their arms and legs end.

 We cleared that stuff and he grew 5 inches taller immediately and stunk like death, with all the oily fear that came out of his skin. Now I know what fear smells like, to a wolf. It reeks like rotting flesh! Yeech! It clung to my hands where I touched him.

 That is what this karma tension stuff is, death of the body as the life force is choked off.

  I sent him off to shower and he felt the pleasure of water on the back of his neck for the first time! He had not noticed that some parts of his body were numb, till they woke up.

  Severe tension spots will seem numb. Years ago, probably they hurt but the body gave up sending the message and just switched off feeling.

 That is why, sometimes empathy with someone who has not done any spiritual work will wipe me out. Stuff they do not feel at all, really feels painful to my sensitivity. I stay turned inward and put Goddess within my self first, in my attention and I do not have to feel it.

 Send your awareness around inside your muscles and skin, and notice if there are places where you cannot feel yourself. Surrender them. Feel the places of tension. Surrender them.

 The whole of your nervous system holds memories, not just your brain. The painful negative memories cause the muscles around the nerve where the memory is held, to tighten up against the stress. The tension causes blood flow and therefore oxygen flow and nutrition to that part of the body to be reduced. The tension in the muscles produces lactic acid, which crystallizes around the nerve endings. Lactic acid is the same stuff that makes your body feel stiff and sore after exercise. The lactic acid is corrosive and the crystals are sharp. The body makes a bag of fluid around the crystals, just like an oyster makes a pearl to protect its softness from a grain of sand. So now there is swelling and fluid added to the pressure, further decreasing blood flow and nutrition to that part of the body.

 Fear smells like gangrene. Gangrene comes, when the circulation to some part of the body ceases and bacteria appear to return it to ashes.

 All because of a memory that is unforgiven.

 That is what karma is. That is what blockages are. Stress and bags of pus around a negatively charged memory that is blocking chi. It is chi-that is frozen into form-the old emotional memory- instead of flowing.

  To your third eye, it looks like a shadow-spot. Look deeper, and your body mind will oblige your curiosity with the content of the memory, or a symbol or vision, or even a "past life" a resonant story -memory drawn from the collective consciousness and sufficiently detached from who your ego thinks you are, to not be such a shock to the system. Like a fable or parable.

 Your ego, is all of the memories together, of the fears and limits making a social mask and shaping your perceptions of of how you view the world and yourself. Acting from your hurt places.

  You are not that. Who you really are, is what remains when all of that stuff, is gone.

  The essence of this path I teach, is to open to receiving more life energy by grounding, and to clear the baggage junk where energy cannot flow, out of the body with the assistance of the body-mind.

 Connecting with the body mind so it can show you where are the hurt places are that need to be surrendered so you can have peace, joy and more life energy, instead.

  Do you see, why your body mind is so very supportive of this process?

 When you do the surrender mantra and agree to give up "this", you give your body mind consent to let go of the memory, and the muscles relax, the ionic magnetic charge of the negative memory, that holds the lactic acid crystals to the nerve endings lets go and the bag of fluid breaks like a dam bursting and washes them away. That is why you have to drink a lot of water when doing this work. Wash the lactic acid crystals away so they do not end up re-crystallizing somewhere else. Bless the water you drink, so that its electrical charge resonates as you and it is better utilized. The body is electrical.

The places that are blocked with negatively charged energy, an old recording of emotional memory that is stuck, the positive energy... chi, prana cannot go there. It has to go around, like water flowing around a rock. It is a dead spot, and when you get enough of them you get old and die.

 When you surrender the tension, circulation returns to that place in the body, as the tension and fluid is released along with the emotional content of the memory. Giving up the hole where the stuff used to be afterwards, gives the body consent to fill the space with prana and get to work rebuilding it perfect, as Goddess meant it to be when She chose your DNA. Energy flows. Life!    

When you surrender the tension, and the emotional baggage, the old thought noise recordings that were only coming up in the first place because your DB wanted you to surrender them, go too.

 Your mind gets quieter. You find peace. You have more life energy available to you, to keep you strong and healthy so you can follow your bliss... and the radiance of your clear being sends out ripples through the universe. Synchronicity, luck, magic... whatever you like to call it, comes of those ripples.

 This is the inward gaze... life on the outside is less important than the ongoing stream of information your body gives you in response to what you perceive. It tells you where your karma is, where your buttons lie, which direction to go in and what to avoid. All day long, yadda yadda yadda, the conversation never stops.. but most people do not realize it IS a conversation.
 Your mind spewing its thoughts, bla bla bla and your body responding feel feel feel, and you the Witness watching them talk.

 Don't know what to do? Be still and hold each option in your mind, one at a time and pay attention to your body feelings. Emotions, muscle twitches, places of tension, ... go with the option that makes your heart feel warm, light and open. Surrender all the other feelings that came up.

 We have expressions for it, "going with your gut instinct", or "following your heart"... this stuff I teach, it is very so very very simple ... you already know it, you just do not connect what you know, with the words I use.

 If I say, "Laura you stupid bitch!" where does it hit you? Does it feel like a punch in the stomach, or a fist around the heart? Does it hit your throat, your shoulders, make your legs weak? Where does it resonate in you?  

 Obviously, I do not really think that about you, you are a sweetie, and clever.. But the words I chose, are not important... the thoughts that trigger the karma are not important. The emotional reaction is not important.

 What is important is observing how your body responds. The body will tell you where is the karma button related to verbal abuse, insecurity, aggression... the old hurt places from the past. The karma. Whatever your reaction was, is not the important thing. The important thing is that my harsh words show you where you are carrying tension. Where the resonant memories live. That, is a gift because now that you have located them you can let them go and have more life, instead.

 Feel the shape of the tension point that your body showed you in response to my test sample of verbal abuse, and surrender that abstract shape you feel. Give it up to Goddess.

 I am often puzzled when people tell me that they cannot connect with the Divine Beloved. How can you not, it is there in your body, talking to you all day long every day for your whole life, yakking up a storm with non verbal, emotional comments on everything you see, think or do.. From what to have for lunch, to the abuse you remember from when you were 8, to the price of tea in China!

 Yak, yak, yak, the DB never shuts up!! How can anybody tell me they cannot hear it? Maybe if they are paralyzed and numb from the neck down? I have been puzzled. It speaks all day long, mostly not in words but in feelings, guiding you and showing you where your baggage is. Does not matter if you are awakened or not, the body still talks. People just don't pay attention, instead they reach for a pill or a distraction.

: For me, this is usually a very subtle (or often not so subtle) sensation of tension, like something is gently pushing on a part of my body, I can usually feel the shape of this tension, I clearly locate it, and then I surrender it to God-dess.  When I surrender it, I usually notice that the location of the tension shifts to somewhere else in my body, I go to the new location with my awareness and surrender it again.  Often mulitple places display themselves at the same time, and I am surrenduring tension in several paths at once (perhaps my Divine Beloved is so pleased that I am finally noticing

: This is pretty fun, actually.

It IS fun! when you get good at it and more clear, you will find you want to put yourself into situations and find stuff that pokes your buttons to let it go.

I did this with newsgroups when I first got online. I lurked on newsgroups that offended me, simply because I valued finding where the triggers were so I could clear them. Why be a slave to baggage and conditioning? Become a slave to your own spirit, instead. Wheeeee! 

: You start listening to your body a lot more in day to day experiences, like talking on the phone, or watching TV, and the very physical responses that it triggers.

This is part of mindfulness.

:  Sometime i feel like a numbskull 'cause i will be watching something totally cheesy on TV, but the words might trigger some karmic memory response in my body, and then i surrender it and find myself crying at commercials or something like that.

Yeah... great to be so alive, eh?

: It really drives home the experience of emotion as a sensation in the body, pre-language, pre-interpretation, stored memories.  This has been a totally liberating experience...allowing me to focus upon and surrender the sensations as tensions themselves, which are highly neutral, and disidentify with the content of the thoughts, which are often not so neutral and easy to get swept away in their vectorship.

Right! The thoughts are just noise, most of them old recordings on replay. Stuff somebody said to you 20 years ago, just not important. the emotions... most of them are karma on the way out. Looking for the reasons for them often makes attachments... they just ARE. Let them flow on through without judging them.

 When I go to bed at night, I lay there feeling my body relax, watching the thoughts about the day go by. Watching my body responding, the twitches and tensions flowing away, the emotions being triggered and flowing away, no attachment. Letting go completely. Surrendering fully. I will know when a thought passing by with no attachment is a bigger release, because my body will spontaneously sigh as it exits. Notice when your body does that.

Just as I instruct you to breathe after saying the surrender mantra,  (Goddess please take this...)in a state of peace and surrender, the same thing happens with no words but only the sigh afterwards. when I feel the sigh, I thank my DB for caring for me.

: I highly recommend this meditation, even if you are more visually adept.

Yes! The body talks in feelings, more than pictures and words... what you have described, plus the grounding are the basic essence of this path. I have been wondering why that was not being understood... well, back to the drawing board.. LOL!!

:Having such an active communication with my expressive, sensory, talkative embodiment has been deepening into this beautiful relationship with something that is both genuinely other and self at the same time, and wow, it is kindof hedonistic Like being your self and lover at the same time, two in one, the world is touching you all of the time, you never have to leave the house

Heh.. the sacred marriage is a truly beautiful thing! Thanks, Laura!

: Affectionately,
: Laura K