Advice Concerning Mantras

[Indigo]

In the last spiritual group I was part of, the focus of that group was mantra.  Mantra in the service of manipulating reality to get what you wanted.  We were taught that mantra was a tool that changed perception.  In changing yourself, you changed the reality you lived within.  I think that we were being told that we could use Shakti(sexual feelings and other strong impulses like anger), to perform miracles in our life.  We were further warned that by doing this, we would get what we wanted, but there would be unintended consequences, that would require further mantra work.  I found that is actually worked.  I was feeling very lonely in my life, started saying the Red Tara mantra in order to find female companionship, and a certain type of woman started showing up in my life.  In fact, the synchronicities between the women I became involved with was hard to ignore.  As a side note, I have had another woman come into my life with almost identical physical, emotional, and spiritual characteristics as the one that I knew about a year ago.  My question is this.  Is it a good idea to use this technique to get what you want?  I suppose this is an area that my perception is being challenged, so that is why I am asking this question.  I have always been one to make things happen, and in that regard the use of mantra appeals to me.  On the other hand I know that I am suppose to let myself be reclaimed by Shakti and ultimately be led by her.  Is it door A, B, both, or none of the above?  Let me know what you think.       

[Mystress]

  After Kundalini awakens, free will based magic like that will shoot you in the foot. Getting what you want, is not surrender.

[Indigo]

Thank you.  I understand what you mean.  Grasping for what you want shows that you are still bound to attraction and aversion and have not moved past duality.  You are still trapped in the illusion and bound to death and rebirth.  Shakti has taught me some good lessons in that this week.  The scales are starting to tip in regards to me being intuitively guided rather than ego driven.  I will never lose my ego, but it will be in her service.