My first commitment, which will be hard for me because I have always been a control freak of myself due to my up-bringing or lack of it, will be to surrender to Goddess.....release the worry, fear and have bliss, peace, knowledge that I will be a someone I have never known.........

Thank you Mystress, again........Glenda

Good luck, Glenda - I feel the same way - though the road i'm on isn't going that cut and dried.  some days i get bombarded with stuff to surrender, it's like my issues are being poured into a funnel and at the end - only one can come out at a time, so it's like a constant upheaval.  i feel the 'bliss' sometimes - seems i get relief for awhile or a day - and i can be thankful, but more often than not, lately, i see my epitaph and it reads "here lies one who DID get more than she could handle"   again, good luck and be well.

carla

:  My first commitment, which will be hard for me because I have always been a control freak of myself due to my up-bringing or lack of it, will be to surrender to Goddess.....release the worry, fear and have bliss, peace, knowledge that I will be a someone I have never known.........

: Thank you Mystress, again........Glenda

: Good luck, Glenda - I feel the same way - though the road i'm on isn't going that cut and dried.  some days i get bombarded with stuff to surrender, it's like my issues are being poured into a funnel and at the end - only one can come out at a time, so it's like a constant upheaval.  i feel the 'bliss' sometimes - seems i get relief for awhile or a day - and i can be thankful, but more often than not, lately, i see my epitaph and it reads "here lies one who DID get more than she could handle"   again, good luck and be well.

: carla

: :  My first commitment, which will be hard for me because I have always been a control freak of myself due to my up-bringing or lack of it, will be to surrender to Goddess.....release the worry, fear and have bliss, peace, knowledge that I will be a someone I have never known.........

: : Thank you Mystress, again........Glenda

Greetings Carla.....oh don't hink that I am haveing an easy time, I have been searching for so many years for an answer, and this course has come the closest to giveing me tools to make my journey useful, I know that seems a strange word to use maybe but my life, too, is one of pain, fear depression, loss, anger, desperation, uselessness, and just plain tired.

But now I really get enter peace when I tell myself "surrender to Goddess"  "give it to Goddess"  if (maybe)no more  than being tired of fighting the current that i am caught up in.

I figure I have done my best truly, I have worked or "gave a good fight", now I want the reward, for lack of a better way of saying it,  I need to help me so I can help others, we have 5 boys.

So if there is anything we as a group share it is trails and challenges, and thanks to Mystress we may b able to get help along the way from within, who else can you trust?

Love Glenda  

: : Good luck, Glenda - I feel the same way - though the road i'm on isn't going that cut and dried.  some days i get bombarded with stuff to surrender, it's like my issues are being poured into a funnel and at the end - only one can come out at a time, so it's like a constant upheaval.  i feel the 'bliss' sometimes - seems i get relief for awhile or a day - and i can be thankful, but more often than not, lately, i see my epitaph and it reads "here lies one who DID get more than she could handle"   again, good luck and be well.

    That's cute, Carla..
  It's not that Goddess gives you more than you can handle, but that resisting Goddess can make one hell of a mess. It is our resistance that causes stress.
  Issues do get easier if you can clear them as energy patterns in the body rather than approaching them with the ego. Sometimes that is not possible, Goddess wants you to see what you surrender so that you can make proper free will decisions..
   Hang in there.. the goal is worth the journey.

Glenda wrote:
: : :  My first commitment, which will be hard for me because I have always been a control freak of myself due to my up-bringing or lack of it, will be to surrender to Goddess.....release the worry, fear and have bliss, peace, knowledge that I will be a someone I have never known.........

: : : Thank you Mystress, again........Glenda

   That is beautiful.. You are welcome, Glenda.

: Greetings Carla.....oh don't hink that I am haveing an easy time, I have been searching for so many years for an answer, and this course has come the closest to giveing me tools to make my journey useful, I know that seems a strange word to use maybe but my life, too, is one of pain, fear depression, loss, anger, desperation, uselessness, and just plain tired.

: But now I really get enter peace when I tell myself "surrender to Goddess"  "give it to Goddess"  if (maybe)no more  than being tired of fighting the current that i am caught up in.

     I think, Glenda, that your peace is genuine. A gift of Grace.

: I figure I have done my best truly, I have worked or "gave a good fight", now I want the reward, for lack of a better way of saying it,  I need to help me so I can help others, we have 5 boys.

  Service to other is sacred.
   How are things with your family?

: So if there is anything we as a group share it is trails and challenges, and thanks to Mystress we may b able to get help along the way from within, who else can you trust?

   There are trustworthy people in the world, but no-one can love you so wisely and unconditionally as the Divine Beloved.

: Love Glenda
    Blessings!

:    It's not that Goddess gives you more than you can handle, but that resisting Goddess can make one hell of a mess. It is our resistance that causes stress.

Thank you Mystress - after reading this post i was told that i don't understand how to surrender.

:    Issues do get easier if you can clear them as energy patterns in the body rather than approaching them with the ego. Sometimes that is not possible, Goddess wants you to see what you surrender so that you can make proper free will decisions..

It seems i'm all ego.  the issues i have continue to remain unresolved, even though i give them up routinely.  the longer they last - the deeper they dig into my ego, the more i think i need to do something.  it's difficult to discern where to let go and what action is right.  is it my attitude? it seems that i'm in the way of Goddess doing what needs to be done - like She's waiting for me to move over. But these are  things that are 'rightfully mine' according to the 'law', so i'm moved to pursue them.  Gosh - my ignorance is an issue now...

:     Hang in there.. the goal is worth the journey.

I believe it.

: Glenda wrote:
:
: : Greetings Carla.....oh don't hink that I am haveing an easy time, I have been searching for so many years for an answer, and this course has come the closest to giveing me tools to make my journey useful, I know that seems a strange word to use maybe but my life, too, is one of pain, fear depression, loss, anger, desperation, uselessness, and just plain tired.

Hi Glenda - i didn't mean to presume - that was probably a reflection of my own superficial ideas when i first started this course.  I've gotten what i asked for - just wasn't aware of how hard it could be - i have issues regarding my children and trying to surrender them is extremely difficult.  see, i'm tearing up right now.....  but it seems we have some things in common and if i would just step out of this self absorbed shell i've created, i'd be better equipped to communicate with you.  i apologize for the confusion.

: : But now I really get enter peace when I tell myself "surrender to Goddess"  "give it to Goddess"  if (maybe)no more  than being tired of fighting the current that i am caught up in.

That's wonderful - i can relate to how that feels. relief from the pressure of thinking i'm responsible for everything is such a blessing.

: : So if there is anything we as a group share it is trails and challenges, and thanks to Mystress we may b able to get help along the way from within, who else can you trust?

true.  And yes i feel so much gratitude to/for Mystress also.

peace,
carla

Surrender. Ach! How I hated that action, but the more I resisted it, the worse things got. Much more appreciative of it now, but still have a way to go. Also, I've discovered another aspect of surrender that surprised the hell out of me.

Before, I thought surrender was just about turning stuff over to Goddess or whomever, just get it off me. Now I've discovered that surrender can also mean, for me, FEAR (Face Everything And Recover). I'm discovering that I used surrender as something akin to denial, and in some instances, surrender for me means to face something squarely and take an action. So I guess what I'm having to surrender is my inertia and denial. That is the hardest for me. Then I ask for guidance.

There is still lots of stuff that I have no control over and must surrender the illusion that I do have control over. So I'm trying to understand the different kinds of surrender and which kinds to use when. If that makes any sense.

Tonight, I'm just going to surrender to sleep.

Bleary-eyed Barg

: :    It's not that Goddess gives you more than you can handle, but that resisting Goddess can make one hell of a mess. It is our resistance that causes stress.

: Thank you Mystress - after reading this post i was told that i don't understand how to surrender.

   Ah so. Could be. Sometimes it can be a hard concept to grasp. Well, the simplest meaning of surrender is "give up". Give up expectations and attachments to things.. and to people. Giving up and letting go.
  A simple example is, whenever I lose something and cannot find it, the moment I admit out loud that I don't know where it is, my body will walk straight to it and put my hand on it. It has happened more times than I could count, and so I've learned to give up sooner and admit my ignorance.

  I know, we humans are taught that there is value in struggle and to be strong willed and self determined.. to "fight the good fight", and all that Rah-rah warrior stuff... but that is an ego concept that has little value when compared to Divine Wisdom and the power of synchronicity.

  Sometimes when I'm asked for advice, I think to myself, "I have no idea what to tell this person", and I start typing or speaking anyways, and the words they need pour out.
  Sometimes I get odd impulses. Today I fulfilled a strange impulse I have had for about a week, to bake some bread by hand. I cannot eat bread, but my druid says it is delicious.  I made a braided wreath that is so lovely he is hesitant to eat it.. the heart shaped loaf I made as a love gift for him disappeared very quickly. Kneading the dough and watching it rise was very satisfying in a way I have little inclination to analyse.
  In the fall I get the urge to throw away things, and to harvest. One year I fulfilled it by collecting a basket of wild chestnuts.  I could not eat them, but I arranged them with pine cones and holly as a centerpiece. This year I've been harvesting seeds. My lettuce and swiss chard went to seed, plus seeds from pumpkins, sunflowers, etc.  
   I'm a white grrl whose ancestors came from cold places. The need to make some kind of harvest at the approach of winter is bound into my DNA as a survival instinct. I live in the city, I shop at the grocery store.. but surrendering to my body's impulses with some kind of harvesting ritual is deeply satisfying.
  For me, surrender is a way of life.. although it still takes some mindfullness...

: :    Issues do get easier if you can clear them as energy patterns in the body rather than approaching them with the ego. Sometimes that is not possible, Goddess wants you to see what you surrender so that you can make proper free will decisions..

: It seems i'm all ego.  

    LOL!! It may seem like it.. but really it is an indication of your strength. When you really "get it", and that strength has been redirected into surrender it will be amazing. Right now it's just hard.. I understand that.. and sometimes there is little that can be done to speed up the process. It's at times like this, a really good horoscope can be comforting. Seeing how your growth is written in the stars takes you out of yourself enough to accept what is happening to you as an individual is part of the larger pattern.  Everything is happening as it should.

the issues i have continue to remain unresolved, even though i give them up routinely.  the longer they last - the deeper they dig into my ego, the more i think i need to do something.

    I think at this point you are using surrender as a form of resistance.. A way to avoid the issues, and run from your feelings.
  If you truly surrender something, and Goddess won't take it, it just comes back stronger...? Sometimes it is because She meant for you to have it. It is a gift, and even tho it might look like a flaming bag of poo on the outside, it is up to you to offer gratitude for it till it unfolds and shows it's silver linings.
  If the feeling that you need to do something is that persistent, then perhaps you need to surrender to it, as I surrender to harvest impulses and baking bread.

  If the feeling cannot be surrendered then instead go straight into it.
 There is a game I call "Naming the Dragon".. because in magic stories, if you name the dragon it gives you power over it. Feelings are the same. If you can name them, they leave.
 Feel them as fully as you are able, breathe deep and name the feeling... test out several names if you need to, to name it precisely as you can identify.

You will know when you have named it correctly, because you will feel a "shift" in your body and a spontaneous sigh of release, and the feeling will lift. Beneath that, will be another, different feeling. Name that one too, and so on, peeling the onion till you get to the core of peace.

it's difficult to discern where to let go and what action is right.  is it my attitude? it seems that i'm in the way of Goddess doing what needs to be done - like She's waiting for me to move over. But these are  things that are 'rightfully mine' according to the 'law', so i'm moved to pursue them.  Gosh - my ignorance is an issue now...

   According to what law? Serve Goddess, and have none before, Her, means just that. I'm not suggesting you break the law, but I do suggest you set aside that kind of thinking, because that is your stopping place. It limits your imagination and creativity, puts blinkers on synchronicity.

: :     Hang in there.. the goal is worth the journey.

: I believe it.

    That makes it easier, eh?

: Hi Glenda - i didn't mean to presume - that was probably a reflection of my own superficial ideas when i first started this course.  I've gotten what i asked for - just wasn't aware of how hard it could be - i have issues regarding my children and trying to surrender them is extremely difficult.  see, i'm tearing up right now...

    Remember that your children knew what they were getting themselves into in this lifetime, before they were born. They have their own destiny, they are not "yours".
  You don't have to give up your children, you have to give up your attachment to controlling how their future will be. I know the maternal instinct is the most powerful force of nature. Don't try to fight that.. just realize that a million things are always out of your control. You, or one of them could step in front of a bus tomorrow and that would be it. I don't mean to frighten you, but to bring you into the moment so you can re-evaluate your priorities.  

..  but it seems we have some things in common and if i would just step out of this self absorbed shell i've created, i'd be better equipped to communicate with you.  i apologize for the confusion.

: : : But now I really get enter peace when I tell myself "surrender to Goddess"  "give it to Goddess"  if (maybe)no more  than being tired of fighting the current that i am caught up in.

: That's wonderful - i can relate to how that feels. relief from the pressure of thinking i'm responsible for everything is such a blessing.

:
: : : So if there is anything we as a group share it is trails and challenges, and thanks to Mystress we may b able to get help along the way from within, who else can you trust?

: true.  And yes i feel so much gratitude to/for Mystress also.

: peace,
: carla

   I'm grateful you are here. It really warms my heart to see you all supporting each other. This journey gets hard sometimes.. knowing you are not alone, makes all the difference. Thankyou for your faith.
   Blessings....

: Surrender. Ach! How I hated that action, but the more I resisted it, the worse things got. Much more appreciative of it now, but still have a way to go. Also, I've discovered another aspect of surrender that surprised the hell out of me.

: Before, I thought surrender was just about turning stuff over to Goddess or whomever, just get it off me. Now I've discovered that surrender can also mean, for me, FEAR (Face Everything And Recover). I'm discovering that I used surrender as something akin to denial, and in some instances, surrender for me means to face something squarely and take an action. So I guess what I'm having to surrender is my inertia and denial. That is the hardest for me. Then I ask for guidance.

: There is still lots of stuff that I have no control over and must surrender the illusion that I do have control over. So I'm trying to understand the different kinds of surrender and which kinds to use when. If that makes any sense.

: Tonight, I'm just going to surrender to sleep.

: Bleary-eyed Barg

  That is lovely, Barg.. you described it better than me!
 Surrender means, "Yea tho I walk thru the valley of death I will fear no evil"... and then walking, surrendering your fear as best you can while moving into what you fear to shine light into the darkness.
 Goddess won't give you more than you can handle, but She also challenges you to expand your courage and faith.

 I'm a dominant personality, and I have an expression, "A Dominant never surrenders till they have no other option", so sometimes Goddess boxes me in, limiting my options till I have no choice but to act as She Wills.
 We are led carrot and stick.. carrot dangling in front and stick smacking your behind. Goddess spanks.
  Blessings..

>I know, we humans are taught that there is value in struggle and to be >strong willed and self determined.. to "fight the good fight", and all >that Rah-rah warrior stuff... but that is an ego concept that has >little value when compared to Divine Wisdom and the power of >synchronicity.

You know, just this past Sunday i started telling myself that all is as it should be, it's just that some times are more difficult than others.  Amazing that on Monday, i recieved $$$$$ that were desperately needed - Goddess affirming to me that what i've done is Her will, and She will provide.  

>Sometimes I get odd impulses.

I'm gutting my bathroom.....:-)

>For me, surrender is a way of life.. although it still takes some >mindfullness...

I'm spending a lot of time with this msg - mindful and surrender seem like (what's that word?.....) oxymorons (i think) at this point.  But i'm beginning to understand what you mean.

>It's at times like this, a really good horoscope can be comforting.

I've got a great link for that - the past two weeks he's been grumbling about me and my pity party - last week he named me a 'toxic warrior'.  It does help shape my thinking.....

> I think at this point you are using surrender as a form of >resistance.. A way to avoid the issues, and run from your feelings.

Uh huh.....very possible but i wasn't considering that....thanx.

>If you truly surrender something, and Goddess won't take it, it just >comes back stronger...? Sometimes it is because She meant for you to >have it. It is a gift, and even tho it might look like a flaming bag >of poo on the outside, it is up to you to offer gratitude for it till >it unfolds and shows it's silver linings.
>If the feeling that you need to do something is that persistent, then >perhaps you need to surrender to it, as I surrender to harvest >impulses and baking bread.

I'm back from a fairly relaxing Thanksgiving break.  

I don't know at this point what to think about these issues and the question of true surrender - it's not that they come back stronger, more that they won't go away.  There are several things that are taking forever to be resolved.  It's tough!  The feelings of needing to do something are a result of my impatience, probably.

>If the feeling cannot be surrendered then instead go straight into it.
>There is a game I call "Naming the Dragon".. because in magic stories, >if you name the dragon it gives you power over it. Feelings are the >same. If you can name them, they leave.
>Feel them as fully as you are able, breathe deep and name the >feeling... test out several names if you need to, to name it precisely >as you can identify.

I like that!  Thanks again, i know this will be an excellent tool for me!

>According to what law? Serve Goddess, and have none before, Her, means >just that. I'm not suggesting you break the law, but I do suggest you >set aside that kind of thinking, because that is your stopping place. >It limits your imagination and creativity, puts blinkers on >synchronicity.

Yes - you are so right.

>That makes it easier, eh?

:-)

>Remember that your children knew what they were getting themselves >into in this lifetime, before they were born. They have their own >destiny, they are not "yours".
>You don't have to give up your children, you have to give up your >attachment to controlling how their future will be. I know the >maternal instinct is the most powerful force of nature. Don't try to >fight that.. just realize that a million things are always out of your >control. You, or one of them could step in front of a bus tomorrow and >that would be it. I don't mean to frighten you, but to bring you into >the moment so you can re-evaluate your priorities.

Yes - i will be their mom no matter what happens - nothing will change that.  This is what i forget sometimes.

Peace, thanks and love ot all,
carla

: >I know, we humans are taught that there is value in struggle and to be >strong willed and self determined.. to "fight the good fight", and all >that Rah-rah warrior stuff... but that is an ego concept that has >little value when compared to Divine Wisdom and the power of >synchronicity.

Carla wrote:
: You know, just this past Sunday i started telling myself that all is as it should be, it's just that some times are more difficult than others.  Amazing that on Monday, i recieved $$$$$ that were desperately needed - Goddess affirming to me that what i've done is Her will, and She will provide.  >>>>

Yep., that's how it works. Goddess provides, in response to your choosing to allow Her to. A big part of this process is about getting out of your own way. Stepping aside and letting Goddess handle the controls. Watching, instead of doing, watching yourself doing.

: >Sometimes I get odd impulses.

: I'm gutting my bathroom.....:-)

  Great metaphor for clearing the lower chakras! That's where all these issues are, money, children, relationships, etc.. all wired into the second chakra.
  The inside and the outside are one, they reflect each other. So, renovating the bathroom is like a kind of instinctive spell for clearing your 2nd chakra issues.

: >For me, surrender is a way of life.. although it still takes some >mindfullness...

: I'm spending a lot of time with this msg - mindful and surrender seem like (what's that word?.....) oxymorons (i think) at this point.  But i'm beginning to understand what you mean.

Good. Like I wrote to Augustin, you need to focus on passive surrender to get your discernment clear. When it is clear, then active surrender will make more sense to you because the messages of what is Goddesss' Will to be done come through clearer.

It takes practice, and detaching from expectations of results. The result of my bread baking was to realize the yeast within my own body was getting overgrown, and that is the source of some minor digestive and allergy symptoms I have been getting lately.

So, I've been on a candida cleanse for the last 2 weeks.. feeling much better and I've lost 6 lbs of bloat that were annoying me.

Goddess led me in an orbit, from giving love to yeast and blessing it's power to raise bread, to starving the yeast out of my own body by not eating sugar or carbohydrates for a month. From nurturing it with sugar and warmth, to taking yeast killers to clear it from myself. So strange, like a ritual offering before a hunt.

I may stay on this diet for quite some time. I used to eat like this, when I lived alone and it is good for me. My sister is hypoglycemic, and I'm finding an absence of carbs makes my emotions more stable.

That's quite a return on an investment of following an illogical impulse to bake bread.

: >It's at times like this, a really good horoscope can be comforting.

: I've got a great link for that - the past two weeks he's been grumbling about me and my pity party - last week he named me a 'toxic warrior'.  It does help shape my thinking.....>>>>

Goddess speaks to you thru anything. She is All that is. What messages you are willing to be receptive to, are about you. I like to pick an Osho card, some days when I am befuddled. I use a pendulum, too.

: > I think at this point you are using surrender as a form of >resistance.. A way to avoid the issues, and run from your feelings.

: Uh huh.....very possible but i wasn't considering that....thanx.

: >If you truly surrender something, and Goddess won't take it, it just >comes back stronger...? Sometimes it is because She meant for you to >have it. It is a gift, and even tho it might look like a flaming bag >of poo on the outside, it is up to you to offer gratitude for it till >it unfolds and shows it's silver linings.
: >If the feeling that you need to do something is that persistent, then >perhaps you need to surrender to it, as I surrender to harvest >impulses and baking bread.

: I'm back from a fairly relaxing Thanksgiving break.  

: I don't know at this point what to think about these issues and the question of true surrender - it's not that they come back stronger, more that they won't go away.  There are several things that are taking forever to be resolved.  It's tough!  The feelings of needing to do something are a result of my impatience, probably.>>>

Yeah, some processes cannot be rushed. Ego wants to hurry, spirit is outside of time. We are all joined together in the web of unity, and sometimes things happen "when waiting is filled". When the puzzle pieces other folks hold drop into place. In the meantime, observe and await opportunity's knock.  

: >If the feeling cannot be surrendered then instead go straight into it.
: >There is a game I call "Naming the Dragon".. because in magic stories, >if you name the dragon it gives you power over it. Feelings are the >same. If you can name them, they leave.
: >Feel them as fully as you are able, breathe deep and name the >feeling... test out several names if you need to, to name it precisely >as you can identify.

: I like that!  Thanks again, i know this will be an excellent tool for me!

   Good! I did not invent it, I simply placed it into a mythological context for easy understanding. I got it from a book called "Focusing" that you may want to read, to get a fuller understanding of the psychological technique. It is also the same as some meditative techniques. Even, the "Litany against fear" is resonant.

   True wisdom is universal. The psychologists and yogis both discovered a natural human capability that is common in mythology. It is similar to a Tibetan technique, where you let your focus be totally absorbed by pain in your body. When you focus on a pain, the pain will sometimes move around.. get your attention nailed to it and it sometimes will disappear. Pain is a phantom, and so is fear.
  Good to hear from you Carla..
   Blessings..