Welcome.  Plenty of room here.  Many open hands. 

Hello!
Welcome to FST!
My name is Gopi.
What is your name?
Tell us a little bit about yourself when you can.

Hi 2gether again.

I'm Zephyr or WZ for short. Welcome to FST!

WZ

Quote from: Sigmund on May 23, 2020, 06:16:23 PM
Welcome.  Plenty of room here.  Many open hands. 

Thank you, Sigmund, WZ, and Gopi for welcoming me and introducing yourself to me. I have been wondering if this chat site has anyone actively monitoring it. I am very new to this site and still figuring out how to navigate around. I have plenty of questions to ask since i started FST and excited to hear each of your responses. Thank you for your patience in advance!

I'll just introduce myself as Gen for now.

According to what others have told me, i have had a "shaktipat" done at about the age of 12 or so. I think my third eye was open at that time, but without the understanding about it and just being scolded by the person who gave me the shaktipat, i didn't want anything else to do with it.

I also had another spiritual shaktipat by a teacher who had his tummo awakening by mystress herself. Very long story short, i have been living a spiritual journey but without much of the understanding that Mystress has been sharing on her site and am very grateful for it's knowledge since i don't understand so much that happened to me. I have been praying for guidance, truth, and clarity and have stumble upon this site.

Since I have joined 1 week ago, a lot has happened to me.

The first night i signed up, i had a dream there was a huge fire and car was close by ready to explode. I woke up as the car was exploding. The dream's intensity was unsual for me, that's why i have noted it.

The second night, i was awoken at about 11pm (went to bed about 8 pm) and i thought i felt a presence of a dark shadowy figure floating above me (this was after i had watch Mystress video intro to Kundalini). This has never happened to me before, but i thought it might be related to this FST program i had just sign up for. I watched the video again a few days later, and felt that presence follow me again.
Please comment if you like.

The third night or 4th ( i think i pray to be protected and did grounding after that night and slept through the night) woke up found myself channeling to my sex chakra i think (i have been iniated previously to channel Reiki) and saw swirls of light in my head/forehead. I did feel much calmer after this incident happen and somehow felt i was on a solid path and just felt reassured about things.

I have felt huge surges of energy and been feeling really good/etc and just taking all this info in from Mystress and her website as this knowledge seems to really quench my thirst about what's been happening to me.


There's more to share as i progress with each lesson.

Am excited to be on this journey with you all.

Thank you, all and pleasure to meet you here

Welcome Gen

This is quality course and from your account, it sounds like you are ready for it.

I always love analyzing dreams. Cars, in general, can be indicative of the ego. Perhaps it pertains to the destruction of the ego? That will certainly happen here - LOL!

Anyway - welcome to FST and the Tea Room!

Nice hearing from you Gen.

A few general pointers for new students:

• FST website is shakti charged. This means when you access the website on your laptop/computer, you will feel the energy. The effects depend on what each individual needs at the moment for their own growth at a pace that Goddess sees fit.
• FST is a DIY course. Tantra is experiential learning and not about philosophy or intellectual understanding. Take your time to integrate lessons into your everyday life.
• Pace yourself to one lesson per week. Students are requested to revisit each lesson at least three times before moving to next lesson. Some lessons take more time to integrate than others and that is perfectly OK.
• Keep a journal. Students can post questions and share experiences to Tearoom. It is also recommended to keep a private journal for your own reflection.
• Stop other energy related practices. There are lots of paths for spiritual growth, each with its own rewards. Kundalini is path of surrender and K-awakening can be intense at times. Running after new practices can be an ego trap of avoiding the lesson in front of us. Therefore, it is strongly recommended that students stop doing other energy related practices like reiki and pranayama once they begin FST. This is to help students remain focused on the lessons, deepen your surrender to Goddess, and to avoid unpleasant intense experiences.

Quote"I have been praying for guidance, truth, and clarity and have stumble upon this site."

Goddess provides.
Happy to have you among us.
Reg. presence following you around - have you done the entity clearing lesson yet?

Namaste!
Gopi

PS: Students are requested to update their gender on their profile so that it is easier to provide relevant feedback.

Hey, Gen.  I'm happy you're comfortable enough to share your name.  Thank you for your trust. 

Regarding what you've shared about your first night's dream, I think of cars as vehicles so, I'd take it as your old vehicle no longer serves you.  Congratulations and welcome to a new one. 

I can't say anything definitive about the presence you saw on the second night.  Just that it's something you resonate with and that you're ready for.  You can always ask it who it is & what it has for you.   And, if/ when it comes around again, what happens when you shine love into it after you chat with it? 

Channeling your sex chakra sounds like clearing or/ and opening.  Trust your body when it says it's calmer.   Mystress has said that the body is the source of intuition.  You feeling reassured and really good are good signs, affirmation.

The best to you as you make your way, in manageable ways, of course. 

   Blessings.

 Guess you can disregard my belated email, clearly you figured it out.

   Sorry I have been a bit distracted with trying to save the human species from the pandemic. Want to help? Seems part of what you came for...

Burning vehicles and second chakra focus is just right where we are at, these days.

  Fun when a new student is already so tuned in!

  If you were capable of pissing off a Shaktpat Master from the tender age of 12, lol,  then the dark presence might be your Shaman guide.

Quote from: begeegs on May 26, 2020, 01:53:45 AM
I always love analyzing dreams. Cars, in general, can be indicative of the ego. Perhaps it pertains to the destruction of the ego? That will certainly happen here - LOL!

Thank you Begeegs

I am praying that destruction is gentle and forgiving and merciful.

if it's not too much to ask/appropriate here, can you share about how long you have been on this path and what has happened to you?

Thank you Gopi. Surprisingly, my body has kind of guided me to do things and not allow me to do things, so thanks for the confirmation.

I am still trying to figure the technical aspect of this website out. Took me a week to figure how to chat in tea room. How should i go about posting my gender on my profile? Please advise (not sure if this is where i ask such a question or where i should go if there's a "tech support" email)

- Edit by Mystress because the quoted post did not match the response.

Quote from: Sigmund on May 26, 2020, 07:15:29 AM
I can't say anything definitive about the presence you saw on the second night.  Just that it's something you resonate with and that you're ready for.  You can always ask it who it is & what it has for you.   And, if/ when it comes around again, what happens when you shine love into it after you chat with it? 

I haven't done the entity clearing course yet, but i did pray and it hasn't come back since.


- Edit by Mystress to clarify who wrote what.

Gen wrote: I am still trying to figure the technical aspect of this website out. Took me a week to figure how to chat in tea room.

  Ya see what I did there? I copied one line from your post that I am responding to, then hit "Reply" at the bottom of the page, and pasted the line of your writing into a new message. Then I added "Gen wrote:" ahead of it, selected the pasted text and hit "change colour" and selected brown as it contrasts nicely.

  Please stop quoting whole posts in your replies. Thanks!  It gets kind of repetitive, and the grey boxes are ugly.  

  The Help button on the nav bar gives the full manual for this forum.
  Also, the index page for the lessons has a lesson guide to be read before starting the lessons... scroll down.

   There is a lot of information in your confirmation email, please read it completely and archive it for future reference. 

  Click on your name to go to your profile, or the profile link on the same bar as the Help button. You do not have to use your login as your tearoom handle, you can change it to display your name as Gen if that is what you prefer to be called. Your posts will update automatically.

  You need to learn to dump overload.

  Squat down, but keeping your feet flat on the floor or ground, not raising your heels. Press your palms to the ground also. Imagine/request/intend for all excess energy to flow out your hands back to the Earth. Usually takes about two minutes, you will know by how you feel. Thank Goddess for accepting the energy, and say it is Hers to do as She likes with. This gives consent to transmute it. Kundalini rises, that is why we send overload out the hands and keep the feet flat.

  Do this a few times a day, ok? Don't spin out.



 

Hello Mystress

Thank you for responding to my post. I was under the impression you were "retired" Very honored to be in direct contact with you

First of all, thank you for providing all this information for free to the public. I have only just yesterday found out you have a whole website call kundalini-teacher with a lot of answers that has helped me in many ways.

I also really appreciate that you do not want a Guru/student relationship.  I think i just came out of one, and didn't even know what happen to me. I am still healing from the whole drama. Or maybe that's my ego that's trying to save itself?

I do feel the calling at a young age to help humankind connect to our Heavenly Creator and that was my role in the organization that i just came out of.  I am hoping to continue on this work with the right support and guidance. I have been praying for this.

Just wanted to clarify, i didn't piss off the shaktipat master. He was a "soul warrior" meditator (i dont know the right words) and he was asked by his masters, masters to give me and brother a shaktipat. I didn't know what it was, but i believe my third eye open and when i told him i saw the light behind the door etc and almost cross it, (i stop because i didn't know what i was getting myself into) that's when he scolded me to not mess around with this. I didn't go there again or wanted to meditate again until i join this second organization.

Given what i read from your posting about shamanism. I hope and i Pray that i m not one. Lol. i dont think i am. i actually thought it was one of your lineage person, coming to check me out, cuz it only happened after i sign up for your course. It hasn't happen again since i have prayed for protection.

I am bit gun shy at the moment given what i just came out of, and thirsting for understanding of the spiritual world so that I am not fearful and when things happen to me, i understand what needs to be done and can do it more wholeheartedly.

Thank you again, for doing what you do.

Gen wrote: I was under the impression you were "retired"

Where did you get that idea? Strange rumours... I retired from public session work around 2007, but not from FST or tending to students.

I do feel the calling at a young age to help humankind connect to our Heavenly Creator and that was my role in the organization that i just came out of.  I am hoping to continue on this work with the right support and guidance. I have been praying for this.

  Hahahaa  No.

  People of all religions and cultures come to FST, I have no investment in converting anyone, because Kundalini tends to adapt to the language of people's birth or cultural religion. They learn the mystic roots it sprang from. This is a school, not a church or ashram.

   However, this is a matrifocal system, from identifying Kundalini with Goddess Shakti, and God the Mother, the Planetary Consciousness.  I am not going to help you promote patriarchal religion here or anywhere.

   If you have been praying for someone to knock you out of your proselytizing hero trip, you have come to the right place.  A Mystery School, teaches Mysticism and that is the search for the Divine within your own self.

  If you think to use my teachings and empowerment to get people to believe the Divine is off in the sky somewhere, I will be happy to deactivate your membership and give you a full refund.

Just wanted to clarify, i didn't piss off the shaktipat master.

  Yeah that was a joke.

i actually thought it was one of your lineage person, coming to check me out, cuz it only happened after i sign up for your course. It hasn't happen again since i have prayed for protection.

  No, we don't do that.

  Last month I was working with a bunch of folks who died not knowing they are ascended. They are trying to be helpful but would show up shiny not shadowy and facing you.
   Thank you for reporting it, I will investigate.

Hello Gen,
Thank you for opening up and sharing.

Gen wrote: "I also really appreciate that you do not want a Guru/student relationship.  I think i just came out of one, and didn't even know what happen to me. I am still healing from the whole drama. Or maybe that's my ego that's trying to save itself?"
Trust your gut.
If your body says something is wrong, you should honor that feeling.
I come from India which has a long tradition of Guru/disciple relationship and granting shaktipat.
I do not practice that and as I said before FST is a DIY course.
Mystress is the teacher and lineage members like me are here to help students with their lessons.
At one point in history, Kundalini awakening was a very rare phenomenon, not very well understood, and therefore required the personal guidance of a teacher who has gone through the experience.
Goddess decided that it is time to evolve as a species and more people are becoming K-awakened at a global level.

The nature of Kundalini is that if you are near an awakened person, then your growth gets triggered.
There are lots of abuse stories about Guru/disciple relationships.
Many disciples become dependent on the Guru and therefore it is easier to abuse.
FST is about self-empowerment.
Students have lots of support but every individual has to walk the path themselves - no free rides.
Even enlightened beings can slip into ego games if they are not actively in state of surrender.
It is better for students to learn to listen to their own inner guidance and do things on their own instead of being dependent on someone else.
If you fall down or got lost, then you will know how to get back up on your path again because you have your own experience; not blindly follow someone else's borrowed knowledge.

Guru is usually thought of as one person.
Actually, guru is a living principle.
Anything that removes your own ignorance and leads you to your own Inner Light is your guru.
When we take the attitude that we can learn from everything, then then entire universe is your guru.
One of the main texts on Goddess worship in Hinduism is Devi Mahatmya ('Glory of the Goddess') written in 400-600 CE.
In that text, Goddess is introduced as या देवी सर्वभुतेषु - Ya Devi Sarvabhutesu: Ya (This), Devi (Goddess), Sarva (All), Bhuthesu (creation) - meaning 'This Goddess who resides in All creation' or 'She who resides in All'.
In matrifocal tantra, we acknowledge Goddess in all and learn from all.

Gen wrote: "I do feel the calling at a young age to help humankind connect to our Heavenly Creator and that was my role in the organization that i just came out of.  I am hoping to continue on this work with the right support and guidance."
It is nice that you want to help others.
As I said before, Kundalini is path of surrender.
The goal is to surrender our own ego to Goddess.
We do this by grounding practice which connects us with the earth and the sun.
There is a difference between 'save the world' and 'here to serve'.
God as bearded white guy sitting in the clouds and judging us sinners is a patriarchal idea.
Learning to see and accept the perfection in all creation is matrifocal path.
We don't attempt to change the world but change ourselves through surrender to Goddess.

If you do your grounding exercise regularly and dump overload as Mystress has suggested, you will notice changes in your life.
Grounding may seem like a deceptively simple exercise but it is incredibly powerful if you keep practicing.
Trust that Goddess has everything handled and things will happen at a pace that Goddess sees fit for you.

Namaste!
Gopi

Hey, Gen.  I've been with Mystress for a long time, have gone through the course and have done some work with her since.  She's honored me by designating me as lineage, one who carries on her work.  I'm retired now, meaning there are things I do and things I no longer do.

As you see, this is the place to ask questions quick or lengthy, to voice concerns, to ask for clarification, to vent, etc.  We're here to explore what we don't know.

We're a spiritual family with some more active on the board than others.   You're now part of the family no matter what nouns and adjectives you use to represent yourself.

My impression of you is that you're basically stable and that you have questions, comments and concerns swirling around you, all normal.   Surrender them to Goddess and ask for insight (and say "Thank you," gratitude will serve you well).   Deeper layers of stuff may arise for you to surrender again, like layers of an onion.  Sometimes, stuff will come back for you to unpack. 

If you pay attention to what your body is telling you, you'll develop insight into what's going on for you.  As you go, you'll also learn discernment and will know what's true and what isn't. 

Along with surrender and discernment, one of the main foundations of the work is grounding.  Practice once an hour, or more, while you're awake for the next couple of months and it will come to you more quickly and fully when you call for it.  You may even find yourself practicing in your dreams.  It's a great stand alone and it clarifies and anchors other parts of the program. 

I trust you'll be surprised with the results of your efforts.

     Blessings


 

Quote from: 2getherAgain on May 26, 2020, 06:28:12 PM

if it's not too much to ask/appropriate here, can you share about how long you have been on this path and what has happened to you?

It's no problem. I am very much a neophyte with FST and have only been here since last August. From the very first lesson, I woke up in the middle of the night with my root chakra waking me up. As I hadn't felt that before from an internet site, I was surprised.  It has gradually gotten stronger and there feels like there is a lightening of karma that I am carrying with each lesson download which is noticeable. I feel that my connection to Goddess grows stronger where things which were beyond my reach can nearly be touched.

It's been a gradual process that is still unfolding with me. I am grateful to have taken the plunge. :-)

 Mystress wrote:Please stop quoting whole posts in your replies. Thanks!  It gets kind of repetitive, and the grey boxes are ugly. Smiley

Thank you Mystress for the detail explanation. As mention before. I will do my best to follow those instructions.

Mystress wrote:People of all religions and cultures come to FST, I have no investment in converting anyone, because Kundalini tends to adapt to the language of people's birth or cultural religion. They learn the mystic roots it sprang from. This is a school, not a church or ashram.

Thank you for clarifying that.  i am looking for a school. Mainly to understand what has happened to me and why i am the way i am. Your information on your free website has been quite thirst quenching. There was a lot of spiritual work that had happen in my past, and i m seeking to understand what/and why, etc. That's why i am specifically looking for an "educational/information" school. Please note, I am a bit slow in comprehending what you say Smiley i literally have to give this 100% of my attention and focus. lol Smiley So thank you so much in advance for your patience and understanding.

After our last exchange yesterday, i literally fell asleep for 3 hours. I will attempt to do more of the overloading  release.

Not easy trying to express myself accurately without writing too long of a message.

Edit by Mystress because creating multiple posts to reply to the same message is ridiculous. It pushes everyone else's posts down on the index.

Sigmund wrote: Even enlightened beings can slip into ego games if they are not actively in state of surrender.
It is better for students to learn to listen to their own inner guidance and do things on their own instead of being dependent on someone else.
If you fall down or got lost, then you will know how to get back up on your path again because you have your own experience; not blindly follow someone else's borrowed knowledge.

Thank you so much Sigmund.  So much of what you said (i won't quote too much from your text to keep this short) is true and what i am looking for.

I think what i am specifically seeking/searching for (where i seem to have gotten lost and didn't get the answer) is  I am aware I am on this path with my inner guidance and not be dependent on anyone else, but even "enlightened being's can slip into the ego game" is where i m seeking for that "outside support" to check with someone when my ego might be getting the best of me and to say,  "hey, does this sound right to you?" or is this my ego? 

I am not attached to saving the world/ i probably should have said, "I m here to serve." and yes, even that can be an ego trick. So, i m very open to hearing your's and everyone elses input on this.

I am noticing the amount of replies and wondering if this is normal and how FST works and if this is ok. Or if i am asking too many questions? I like to understand the stage/structure of how the members are here and not sure what "ask questions" don't just take this teaching without questioning in moving forward.

Sigmund wrote: My impression of you is that you're basically stable and that you have questions, comments and concerns swirling around you, all normal.   Surrender them to Goddess and ask for insight (and say "Thank you," gratitude will serve you well).   Deeper layers of stuff may arise for you to surrender again, like layers of an onion.  Sometimes, stuff will come back for you to unpack.

Sorry to be so detailed, but just to be clear, can you clarify what you mean by, "when you have questions, comments, concerns,..surrender them to Goddess.." are we then not encourage to ask questions on this forum? or comment? I am ok with it, and will resort to praying/surrendering to Goddess..just want to be clear moving forward so i don't disrupt the flow of the classroom.

Beegings wrote: It has gradually gotten stronger and there feels like there is a lightening of karma that I am carrying with each lesson download which is noticeable.

Thank you for sharing Beegings. It's nice to hear what someone else's journey (a neophyte to FST) is like to confirm some of the stuff I am going through also.

You can voice your questions, comments and concerns here. 

And you can also surrender them and ask for guidance so that you develop your discernment and become self sufficient.  Then, you can share those here, if you wish.

Note: if you pray without surrendering, you're not using a valuable resource and you may not be letting go of whatever it is. 

Gen wrote: "I am noticing the amount of replies and wondering if this is normal and how FST works and if this is ok. Or if i am asking too many questions? I like to understand the stage/structure of how the members are here"

LOL... You asked people to share about their journey with FST and now you are wondering if it is normal to get replies?
I am a bit confused about what you want Gen.
I understand you are new here and most likely feel excited to know everything and everyone.
I don't understand why you keep repeatedly asking 'am I asking too many questions?'
What is your question?
The Tearoom is just like any other forum - you ask something when you are in doubt.
FST is about self-growth.
Why are you so concerned about understanding 'the stage/structure of how the members are here'?

Here are five things you can do every day:
(1) Read the lesson for the week. Keep a personal journal.
(2) Ground 8 times a day.
(3) Dump overload.
(4) Bless your food and drinks before you eat.
The phrase is: 'Goddess please bless this food! Thank you!'
(5) Practice gratitude for the small things in your life.

After you read the lesson, apply it in your every day life and see how it works for you.
This is what I mean when I say FST is a DIY course.
You become a Tantra practitioner by practicing.
As Sig mentioned: "surrender them and ask for guidance so that you develop your discernment and become self sufficient"
When I say grounding is powerful, you do it and test it out for yourself instead of simply accepting my word or asking others opinions about grounding.
No one is invested in convincing or converting anyone here.

When to ask questions on Tearoom?
If you don't understand something in the lesson or when you are facing difficulties, please reach out.
We also share personal learning experiences if we feel moved to share.
Kundalini awakening can make people feel lonely, scared, and confused especially if they do not understand what is going on with themselves.
Tearoom is a place where people can share, learn, and grow together without fear of being judged.
It is a communal space and I have personally benefited a lot by reading old Tearoom posts as well as getting support from others.

Some students post more than others and that is OK if they follow rules.
- Keep your posts in one thread.
- Trim your posts when you are quoting others. Do not repeat entire message.
- Do not treat Tearoom as social media. Posts to Tearoom must be relevant to your spiritual growth or FST lessons.

Namaste!
Gopi

Gen Wrote: I have been wondering if this chat site has anyone actively monitoring it.

  So you registered even though you think I am retired and nobody is watching the Tearoom. ("This chat site"... rolls eyes at the diminishing, distancing language.) Simply looking at the "Recent messages" list at the bottom of the index page would show I am active. That was not your goal though was it? Examine your motive in thinking I am a slacker. No denials.

Sigmund wrote: Hey, Gen.  I'm happy you're comfortable enough to share your name.  Thank you for your trust.
   
  Yeah... that is not quite her real name.  She accepted the compliment anyway, without correcting you. You work on your discernment.

  (Gen, See what I did there? You can quote more than one person in a post, even combine replies, wow.
Stop changing fonts. This is a temple, not a "chat site." Beauty matters. If you quote me, my words are italic and my colour is purple. Like this:)

  I wrote: Guess you can disregard my belated email, clearly you figured it out.

  Uh-huh. So helpless you cannot even find a help button or a profile link by yourself, when it is right there at the top of the page...  yet you figured out the unrecognized character at the end of your password was causing the issues and the password worked if you left it off. I myself did not know that would work.

  Playing helpless has worked quite well on the men of this forum, I am thinking you get a lot of mileage from that tactic. I respond because I must, but also see through it, and it is trying my patience.

You come into my temple and play manipulative games with the members. Not ok.  What they have not realized is your thirst for attention is actually a bottomless pit, and that same hunger drives most of the manipulative behaviors.
  Tell us about the problems that has caused in your life?

  Also, I told you your private message was not appropriate, and to post to tearoom. When I asked Sigmund about the oddly titled post he explained he was responding to questions in a lengthy private message from you. Sneaky. I tell you it is not ok, so you do it with my members instead? WTF?

  He also mentioned you asked a lot of questions about me.
  Are you writing a news report or just looking for gossip?  What do you plan to do with the gossip if you find any? 

Gen asked Begeegs: if it's not too much to ask/appropriate here, can you share about how long you have been on this path and what has happened to you?

  Have you read any posts that do not have your name on? Serious question. Even the most cursory perusal of topics and boards, even the recent post list would show that Begeegs has an entire diary thread, with his name on it, documenting his experiences and progress through the course... or you did see it and thought he would be good to hit up for attention?

  When someone complains how their past teachers were abusive, I do not look at the teachers, I look at the victimhood pattern in the one who is complaining because odds are I will be next to get that label and I have no interest in playing that game.  

Gen Wrote:  i actually thought it was one of your lineage person, coming to check me out, cuz it only happened after i sign up for your course.

The victimhood set up starts eh? Nasty shadow thing sent by an over controlling teacher ooo. My joke about you being a shaman, was to suggest, that thing is YOURS. Your own repressed and rejected shadow stuff showing up because it is time to learn to face it. Your reaction, accuse and reject. Zero personal responsibility.

Quite the head game you play, flattery and subtle accusations alternating. When I look below the surface of the words, there is envy.  You actually kind of hate me a little bit because I am and have what you want.

  Jealous people tend to bite the hand that feeds, eventually so I prefer to call it out, up front. Is that who you want to be?  That you are in denial of it all, seems possible. So much pushed into shadow. That it appeared above your head is interesting given you worship a sky god.

Gen Wrote:  I am bit gun shy at the moment given what i just came out of, and thirsting for understanding of the spiritual world so that I am not fearful and when things happen to me, i understand what needs to be done and can do it more wholeheartedly.

  The energy of sympathy is delicious too, isn't it?
  The broken winged bird gig, in nature, is manipulation by misdirection.

   When someone points a finger, there are three more fingers pointing back at their own hand.
Victim and abuser are two sides of the same coin so the more you look for sympathy the more I look for abusive behaviors, in you.

  Grounding puts you into a state that is free from fear. If you do not want to be fearful then get grounded. Even if you have not yet reached the lesson, it is on the preview pages and on K teacher so, no excuses.

  The choice to love or fear represents the essence of Free Will. "I will stop choosing fear when I have enough understanding" is just an ego game. A very bad bargain because ultimately, the rational mind is incapable of some types of spiritual understanding.

You cannot learn to ride a bicycle by reading a book about it. Genuine understanding comes from experience and the lessons set you up to have experiences. There are thousands of posts to this forum of people sharing their experience of FST. You want them spoon fed to you, to allay your fears? That is a bad bargain for the other students' time.

  Creating expectations based on the experience of others only serves to limit your own unique experience,  to match your preconceptions.

  Asking if I am a tyrant who does not allow questions and demands unconditional trust right on top of being grateful that I am not a guru is a very special sort of bullshit, especially posting it in the actual forum where there are 1600 posts going back two decades, of me answering student's questions.

  As it happens, yes I do know exactly what you are, and why you behave the way you do, clear as crystal. Why you keep attracting experiences of victimhood and what you are getting out of it, that causes it to be persistent. How you have been testing me, testing boundaries, testing the other student's loyalties. Why you act out to get attention, why your need for it is bottomless.  Why all these manipulative behaviors are hidden and denied. (Spare me the denials, really.)

  I am not a guru and it is not my job to tell you who you are, that would not empower you. Your Guru abides in your heart chakra, that's mysticism.   If I am always there to answer all your questions then you become dependent, you are not motivated to look within yourself for the answers.

  Special home work for you, Gen. Find a copy of James Redfield's book "The Celestine Prophecies" and read it. Then report back with a personal examination of your control dramas.

  The only experience of FST that matters, is your own experience. Attend to your lessons.