Ok - I have resisted posting up until now and I don't plan on posting all of the time, but if I get stuck or have questions, I will go ahead and post.

Basically, my experience of the course has been a positive one and I will recommend it to a couple of people who I know who will be interested. I do have a background in magick and I find that this is more direct and to the point which suits me very well. I have also been supplementing for a while and dabbled in Chi Kung earlier this year, but despite the instructor claiming to be sending shakti to his students, I never felt anything. Here, it was quite obvious and straight away. Also, the material has been superb.

The grounding has also been good and it has been evolving dynamically and I am incorporating with deep belly breathing which usually has me buzzing quite a lot.

I have also gone back through the forum even more than I had before. I find it has answered a lot of questions that I would have had. However, I have had issues with meditation before (for a couple of years) where I would struggle to stay alert until I started the slow breathing. Now, it stays and the meditations tend to be filled with analytical distraction, which I do surrender to Goddess when they do come up, however, they are much much improved from prior. I am now getting a swelling of hot energy which builds up and then I feel it release into a sort of wave sensation, but this is in general and not in any particular location. It isn't blissful, so I would associate it more like a physical reaction. It is in a sense very similar to if I do holotropic breathing for about 40 minutes or so.

A couple of weeks ago, I had this very pleasant vibration which got stronger up my root chakra which seemed to spread upwards. It lasted for about an hour which I was pleased about and thanked Goddess for the experience. Outside of this, usually after a lesson (about 1 day later), my root chakra will start going. I am guessing that this could be the shakti charge of the lesson.

I have also been strengthing the perieum with exercises (only started this yesterday) which has had an effect as well. I can feel a little bit of heat up the back right now and also a pressure on the crown.

I will keep perusing the forums and although I thought that I wouldn't be so ambitious to digest the forums, it looks like I am now searching for knowledge. It seems that I am pretty thirsty :-)

This week has been interesting. I have been feeling energy from the grounding, but this week, I could feel it coursing around the body long after I had finished the exercise. I will have finished the 45 days next week, but I think that I will carry on with it as I enjoy them (of course I will need to surrender the sensations at some point). I also have had times of cocyx sensation which would occur at periods as well which was less than a couple of weeks ago, but I do now think that was probably Mystress with the healing of auto-immune issue as I haven't really hit the heights of that moment involunarily (or voluntarily).

My meditations are a little better this week as well. I have been getting swelling of energy during meditation which at times can be quite intense. At one point Thursday, the swelling felt like my torso was shaking and I am not really sure if that was objective reality (where others would notice) or subjective and completely in my own mind.

Also, I have noticed a lot of emotional energy which seems to be coming up a lot. I have been a complete arsehole throughout the week getting irritated about the dumbest of things, lashing out with needless critical comments. I know that I am doing it too (although, one day was too much coffee. I can't drink more than one or I am not pleasant to be around). I am not going to hide behind the meditations and energy involved as an excuse, but thought that I would note it anyway. I need to be better at surrendering the petty irritations rather than act on them. In some situations, I have seen the irritation and not surrendered. I know that I can do better.

I have also continued to read past content here which has been a big help. It ends up answering questions that I may not have had at the time, but perhaps would have in the future. Also, I found an energy healer who is also a nutritionist for my son from this site, so I have plenty of reasons to be optimistic :-)

This week has been more incremental progress. I am finding that the Grounding exercise is evolving more and more. I have been finding that there are more days of sensation emanating from the root chakra which gets stronger after I do a Grounding exercise. I have also felt the sensation of the 'up to bum' (Copyright Fire-Serpent) sensations. Funnily enough, I found (by accident) that if I sit on the edge of my soft which applied pressure to the perineum that this brings about a really pleasant sensation especially when doing the grounding.

I have just read the 'Earth and Sky Energy' lesson and I thought that the lesson was a little unfair to Crowley's teachings. Granted, I do separate Crowley the man from what he taught. Taking within the context of Crowley the man, you find massive faults, but his teachings are much different (you would probably find that with many teachers and not only confined to spirituality). I do find elements of the Patriarch, but also the Matriarch as well. I find that he sees three principles within his Book of the Law. Nuit would be the infinite or a direct correlation to Shakti, in my view and also defined in the first chapter of 'The Book of the Law'. Hadit (second chapter) is referred to as a 'winged snake of light' (Kundalini), while Ra Hoor Khuit would be the third element, or the microcosm of Nuit, in a sense. I interpreted it as Nuit as a vessel for all that there is. Hadit being the method that Ra Hoor Khuit can use to attain the communion with the Divine.

Also, I think that 'Do what thou wilt' is often misunderstood as 'do whatever you want' even within the Thelemite community. I interpret this quite differently. I look at this as to first attaining Knowledge and Conversation with the Holy Guardian Angel (Goddess) and then discovering Divine Will. Once this is learned, then doing that Will in covenant with the HGA and I believe that Crowley has also written this in his texts albeit probably in a more roundabout fashion that how I have paraphrased it here.

In essence, I don't really see a massive difference between what Crowley is teaching and what is listed on this site other than the directness of this website. However, I can't say that I am such a scholar of his teachings, but am familiar with a lot of his work.

Hello Keith,

Quote"Taking within the context of Crowley the man, you find massive faults, but his teachings are much different (you would probably find that with many teachers and not only confined to spirituality). "

What kind of self knowledge can you learn from someone who says one thing and does something else? All teachers make mistakes because we are human. But the notion that Crolwey's own personal beliefs and actions does not have any bearing towards his writings is  a no-go for me. You do not have to 'interpret' Crowley's writings to see he is sexist, racist, and had very messed up ideas about society and humanity in general. I thought about quoting some of his words but this forum is sacred space and those words don't belong here.

Quote"In essence, I don't really see a massive difference between what Crowley is teaching and what is listed on this site other than the directness of this website"

You are in lesson number 8 of a 50+ week DIY course and you have already decided that there is not much difference?
Lesson 2 is about Matriarchy and Goddess worship. You really do not see much difference? Are you grounded Keith?

Hi Gopi

Thanks for your response.

Quote
What kind of self knowledge can you learn from someone who says one thing and does something else? All teachers make mistakes because we are human. But the notion that Crolwey's own personal beliefs and actions does not have any bearing towards his writings is  a no-go for me. You do not have to 'interpret' Crowley's writings to see he is sexist, racist, and had very messed up ideas about society and humanity in general. I thought about quoting some of his words but this forum is sacred space and those words don't belong here.

Regarding Crowley - He is a difficult case to understand because he played up the noteriety in the press and revelled in it. So it is difficult to know fact from fiction and generally the portions which generated the most wide-spread reading also happened to be the things which were sensationalized (which doesn't mean that some of it wasn't true), but I don't pretend to know the mans mind or internal demons. That being said, I don't agree with your synopsis of Crowley - sorry.

There is a school of thought that suggests that Plato recommended the selective breeding of humans. Does that mean that we should all stop reading his work? There are many more authors, musician, poets, etc that had some prejudice towards something, cruel, greedy, etc. Should we not bother with them either? I am not trying to excuse what he said or wrote or whether it was taken in context or out, but pointing out the good work that the guy did. He developed a system which works for raising Kundalini in people. In my mind, that far outweighs the prejudices that Crowley had.

Quote
You are in lesson number 8 of a 50+ week DIY course and you have already decided that there is not much difference?
Lesson 2 is about Matriarchy and Goddess worship. You really do not see much difference? Are you grounded Keith?

At the moment, I see similarities between the Western Mystery Tradition as a whole and what is taught here in my time here. I am not trying to take away from the site itself because I like it very much. The Western Mystery Tradition is a much slower process overall, but some of the themes are things that I am familiar with and there is nothing wrong with that. I don't expect that it will always be this way. As I have said multiple times, I enjoy the directness of the teachings here.

However, I did get the impression that you possibly are offended with my post, Gopi and for that, I apologize. I wasn't trying to offend anyone, but rather that I felt that Crowley was treated a little unfairly and I don't feel that it is such a horrible thing to say. I do feel that you potentially are passing judgment on me while accusing me of doing exactly that with the site, which I am not doing.

Actually, perhaps my mild criticism of perceived Crowley portrayal is a judgement :-)

Gopi - I was writing this post to you and when I did, I had a syncronicity of sorts. My wife was watching a show about Eugenics on the BBC (I don't know the reasons for this) and I was wondering about the time period when Crowley was alive and was it a common belief about races being superior, etc. So it seemed that Goddess was giving the answer around this time - alas, I didn't actually watch the show as I was engrossed in other things. The funny thing was that my wife was mad that I didn't - lol

Again - I am not trying to offend anyone or think that I have 'superior' knowledge of something, so I hope that no one else gets hard feelings about what I have written. If so, I apologize.

Hello Keith,
As a part of FST lineage and as service to Goddess, I am here to help students with FST lessons.

We welcome healthy debates because this is not a cult. We have room for disagreements. That said, the main focus of Tea Room is FST and Kundalini related. As a general rule, we do not comment on others' teachings because 'Different strokes for different folks' and 'Goddess is All'. The lessons themselves have lots of wonderful teachings lovingly curated by Mystress and properly attributed when citing other teachers. Students also share teachings that they find are helpful but the Tea Room is not social media. To be clear, I am not saying that you are using it as social media. Just providing some context. We welcome sharing that is directly related to your personal growth.

Reg. Crowley, Plato, etc - I said 'self knowledge'. Not knowledge of external world.

Quote"He developed a system which works for raising Kundalini in people."

Since you mentioned that you are not a scholar on Crowley,  you  may or may not already know that Crowley borrowed a LOT of Eastern mysticism. He borrowed a lot from Indian patriarchal Tantra and all the baggage that came with it ('saving semen', 'raising up energy', free will based magick, guru system, caste system, pure blood...). So... no. Crowley did not develop a system for raising Kundalini. What he did do was borrow elements from patriarchal Tantra and 'translated' them through a Western mythos.

I am not trying to debate Crowley's contributions (whatever they might be). And I am not offended that you value his contributions. Goddess is All

No judgments. No need to apologize. I was just a bit surprised to hear you say 'I don't really see a massive difference between what Crowley is teaching and what is listed on this site'. So I wanted to check-in with you and ask you - Hi Keith! Are you grounded?

PS: Hope you don't get discouraged to share updates about your personal growth.

Quote
As a general rule, we do not comment on others' teachings because 'Different strokes for different folks' and 'Goddess is All'.

Quote
So... no. Crowley did not develop a system for raising Kundalini. What he did do was borrow elements from patriarchal Tantra and 'translated' them through a Western mythos.

LOL. Ok.

I get it. You don't like Crowley. However, if it weren't for the Western Mystery Tradition (and not just Crowley), I wouldn't even be at this site, so I did get a foundation there (obviously, I do supplement that practice or I wouldn't be typing this at all ). Yes, they all took from other spiritual traditions and molded it against the Kabbalah (and credited those traditions), but that was something new at the time of late 19th - early 20th century. If man didn't take cues from others from the past, there would be no great musicians, artists, etc.

I do have a question regarding Kegel. If you follow a book which I believe was recommended on this site (ESO) for couples tantra, it recommends a couple of weeks of Kegel. However, I subsequently read that we shouldn't do Kegel until further along the path as it releases a lot of emotional karma (hopefully, I have that correct).

Can anyone comment on this?

Quote"I get it. You don't like Crowley."

No. You don't get it.
You have made the conclusion that I don't like Crowley. I said Goddess is All.
Just like you decided Crowley "developed a system which works for raising Kundalini in people."
The same way you decided "I don't really see a massive difference between what Crowley is teaching and what is listed on this site other than the directness of this website"

You made these claims, when I asked you further, you deflected and made it look like I was offended. I can only be offended if I hold some value judgment on Crowley. I don't.
Since you apologized, I thought I should provide more context. And hence, my response.

I feel that this thread is becoming unproductive. So I will not respond any further about Crowley stuff here.

Namaste!
Gopi


> Italics are reserved to indicate my writing ok? TY. MAS

I didn't deflect, Gopi. I answered.

Quote
At the moment, I see similarities between the Western Mystery Tradition as a whole and what is taught here in my time here. I am not trying to take away from the site itself because I like it very much. The Western Mystery Tradition is a much slower process overall, but some of the themes are things that I am familiar with and there is nothing wrong with that. I don't expect that it will always be this way. As I have said multiple times, I enjoy the directness of the teachings here.

It also wasn't my intention to imply that you were offended, I felt as though I left that option open - thus the phrase 'you possibly are offended with my post'. I wrote about the chance of that being the case (as one can never know with written words). If you weren't - that's great! :-)

I will bump my kegel questions as to not clutter this with more of our debate. 

Quote
I do have a question regarding Kegel. If you follow a book which I believe was recommended on this site (ESO) for couples tantra, it recommends a couple of weeks of Kegel. However, I subsequently read that we shouldn't do Kegel until further along the path as it releases a lot of emotional karma (hopefully, I have that correct).

Can anyone comment on this?

Begeegs wrote: At the moment, I see similarities between the Western Mystery Tradition as a whole and what is taught here in my time here.

 Of course it does, but Crowley is a borrower, he stole from the Golden Dawn, the Rosicrucian (and other masonic trads) and from India. At the root of all of them are the masonic traditions, secrets carried back from the Far East after the crusades. Architecture, astronomy, medicine, mathematics and mysticism. Go even farther back, some of the traditions are Sumerian. Some ancient Egyptian mysteries are actually Greek: Thoth is Hermes is Mercury and all three are associated with Kundalini, writing and wisdom.  The grad ritual is Mayan, translated westernized.

 Ask your discernment, if Crowley was a sociopath. He believed the Goddess could not speak, and his priestesses ended up in the mental hospital. FST, teaches you to hear Her your self. Crowley put a gag on Her and it drove the women insane. Crowley is to the western tradition, what Waco is to Christianity. Way off in a crazy land all his own and pulling followers with him.
He even stole a book title from the Egyptians.
 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Thoth

Quote from: Gopi on Oct 08, 2019, 12:31:05 AM
Hello Keith,
As a part of FST lineage and as service to Goddess, I am here to help students with FST lessons.

Happy to have you helping!

Quote from: Gopi on Oct 08, 2019, 12:31:05 AM

Quote"He developed a system which works for raising Kundalini in people."

Since you mentioned that you are not a scholar on Crowley,  you  may or may not already know that Crowley borrowed a LOT of Eastern mysticism. He borrowed a lot from Indian patriarchal Tantra and all the baggage that came with it ('saving semen', 'raising up energy', free will based magick, guru system, caste system, pure blood...). So... no. Crowley did not develop a system for raising Kundalini. What he did do was borrow elements from patriarchal Tantra and 'translated' them through a Western mythos.

 Messed up sexist racist supremacist Victorian mythos.

  BTW Begeegs.. stop it with the other practices. You are going to get overloaded. Kegels come much later in the course.
  BTW Gopi: stop using italics, ty.

I am clearly not going to agree with you both with Crowley, so I will leave it with these final comments. I don't look at Crowley the man. As a man, he was an egotistical, drug-fueled, trust fund, guy who had a panache within the magical arts. Some of that can be contextualized and others not. He also said and wrote some truly diabolical things, but that charge could be levelled at many. However, within the magical community, his influence and the respect that people have towards him is undeniable even from contemporaries during his life. Whatever his practices within his community were like when he was alive, I do not believe that they reflect modern day practice (at least with magicians that I know).

For me personally, he (along with Jung, and Phil K Dick) was one of the primary influences responsible for shedding me of my deeply held Roman Catholic belief system. I thought that I had shed those ages ago, but having read his (their) works, it was clear that there were still elements which existed. If it weren't for any of those people, it is quite likely that I wouldn't be on this site typing these words, so I have to give credit to their writings.

In case, you haven't noticed, I like debate :-) I like to be given a set of ideas which challenge my own, so although I may disagree, I will investigate what you are saying as it may change my outlook. I don't harbour ill will and I know that I can come across as crass at times (having re-read this thread - it is true), so please accept my apologies Gopi (I did PM you this, but I am not sure if you got it or not).

Ok - to the kegels - I have stopped. I did have an instance of energy after one exercise where it felt like I do when I have way too much coffee - not pleasant and incredibly nervous - yuk!

We are good.
Focus on your lessons.
Namaste!
Gopi

Begeegs wrote: I am clearly not going to agree with you both with Crowley,
and
although I may disagree, I will investigate what you are saying as it may change my outlook.

  LOL. contradict yourself, much?  No agro.

  The second line is the right attitude. Stay open, let go. Cling to anything it becomes a point of resistance.

The only enlightened Thelemites I ever met, used Crowley as a doorway to the Vedas, and they could clearly see how his misogynistic racist Victorian male ego missed the point.

  You did too, apparently. The point being, either you choose to set the old, free will based magic aside, or Goddess Kundalini keeps kicking your ass for resistance, until you figure out that the rules have changed and that old ego inflating shit doesn't work anymore.  It has turned into, how to shoot yourself in the foot, over and over again.

  I am deeply invested in students remaining sane. Ultimately, out of my hands of course... I have no control over you. How many times Goddess needs to smack you upside the head with a clue-by-four until you get it, is not my call
. My job to warn you,

  Free will based magic (like all the Masonic rooted stuff) is patriarchal, it about increasing personal power (so male ego loves it) and that often means a bigger ego carries a bigger weight, swings more chi, breaks more bricks. Those guys have the hardest time of it, here. The more they are accustomed to being the doer, the harder it becomes to step back and let Goddess take the wheel. The ingrained instinct to take control becomes slippery ego stuff that trips them up over and over.

  You think its accidental that I wrote stuff trashing Crowley that is triggering to some Thelemites?  Warning label, for you. You put your money down, symbolic power on an agreement to learn to surrender to your Divine self, for your ego to become slave to the Divine and be slowly dissolved for self realization. (What happens anyway when K awakens but agreeing to flow along, is ideal)

  If you persist in using magic that promotes your own will, then you are setting yourself up to get your ass kicked hard by Shakti.

  You already got a taste of how bad that can feel eh? The doorway to Kundalini psychosis opened wide and an ill wind blew, wisely you backed away.  No other practices, only grounding and lessons. Especially, no pranayama!  (Hatha Yoga is ok)

  The Shakti charge on the lessons, intention "To each according to their need, and ability but not more than they can handle."  That means your DB is moderating the considerable charge of each lesson, to what you can handle, as much as you can handle and adding anything more is too much.  Grounding is self-shaktipat, but cleansing too. It is natural, balanced and establishing it as hard wired habit is essential for being able to stay grounded when the shadow lessons are triggering the more deeply hidden stuff.  Grounding is anti-psychosis medicine. Get good at it, This is a fire path. 

  If it weren't for any of those people, it is quite likely that I wouldn't be on this site typing these words, so I have to give credit to their writings.

Many things can be influences, one big influence of my parents was showing me who I did *not* want to be.  FST was written after a serious back injury sidelined a very active, athletic lifestyle.  That does not mean I would recommend bad parenting and spinal injury as a good path for spiritual growth!  That would be barbaric. 

  The point of faith is, Goddess unconditional love and infinite wisdom, can always find a better way. I asked for a better way, and this is it. FST.

  In some ways I did the same as he, interpreting the ancient for the modern mind... except I am a Shaman devoted to the planet and I asked Her about the prehistorical matrifocal tantra of the ancient Dravidians- pre Aryan invasion, before it was reinterpreted by Aryan patriarchy. Already ascended, time travelled it.

   She only showed me what was useful for awakened people, so it was stripped of political trappings and superstitions. 

In case, you haven't noticed, I like debate :-)

Ego loves debate, it is a power game centered in the power chakra.  Not having much ego means not giving two shits for that game.

I am not a dictator, that would not work for teaching people to be self reliant and trust their own inner guidance. Questioning the teachings, is allowed, of course.  I will always strive to answer sincere questions but debate for its own sake?  That sort of ego wanking, needs to get a room. I got no time for it. Your blog space, write what you feel, I am glad you chose to make one. Don't be surprised if efforts to engage debate fall flat because, people do not come here, to play that game.

  How about examining your attachments and surrendering them instead of arguing to keep them? Stuff gets triggered, to be surrendered. Ego can argue all day long but listening only empowers it.

Mystress - my two sentences about my like of debate was meant for Gopi to convey that I do not harbour hard feelings regading our exchange. The rest of my posts leading up to Lesson 8 haven't said much about anything at all outside of experiences (if any), so you can see that I do not debate here at all prior to Lesson 8. I do understand that at some point old structures will die within the Kundalini process and I am not wedded to anything (outside of my wife - lol). For me, 'Do what thou wilt' is about Divine Will. I do not know what my calling is here until I can have that union with Goddess, so if I have to give up the ghost of Crowley at some point to reach those heights - so be it (of course, that would be the ultimate irony).

This past week was an interesting week in what I already noted with the Kegels. That was really the only bad blip. Outside of that, it has been normal. I generally meditate daily at least once and am surrendering a lot with analytical distraction that pops up. Some days are better than others. When the analytical mind dies away after some minutes, generally, I have issues with staying afloat within consciousness. If I let go, I will likely doze which seems detrimental to the whole exercise, so I have been trying to watch the hypnagogia while remaining lucid. I don't get very far yet. It seems like it is mind muscle/karma related.

Towards the end of the week, I felt more energy. I also did understand what it meant to be a vampire although it wasn't my intention (it may not be vampires intention either). I seemed to feel an energy or juiced around the times when both Gopi and Mystress responded to this thread a couple of times (not every time). I also felt that when emotions stir a bit within me that it seems that the energy body can also become charged. So that was my biggest takeaway on the week.

From this weeks lesson, I found it interesting within the context of the Tree of Life. It feels similar conceptually, but some subtle differences with male/female aspects. Either way - enjoyable regardless. As I state above, I am not wedded to anything, but only noting what I have learned thus far; not by direct experience, mind.

I will combine a couple of the lessons here as an update. To me, it does seem that the Shakti charge of the course is gradually getting stronger or potentially the amount that I can handle is better. I read Lesson 10 and felt it immediately whereas before, I wasn't actually feeling it straightaway. Unfortunately, I was at work, so I wasn't able to go into meditation without fear of being interrupted.

I am feeling this airy quality, but it seems to encompass my head and upper torso (including arms). This is happening more and more easy than before. I have also gotten better with surrendering thoughts, emotions, etc. Not really much else to report outside of this for now.

Quote from: begeegs on Oct 14, 2019, 04:33:40 AM
Mystress - my two sentences about my like of debate was meant for Gopi to convey that I do not harbour hard feelings regading our exchange.

  Who do you think you are talking to?  You think I do not see the ego dance and the power games that you were enjoying? It is my job to see that stuff eh? To point it out,  to support you. 

  Gopi is an FST grad, Lineage and Ascended. His direct ancestors are those whose tantra I teach, he was raised in what remains of pre-Aryan, matrifocal Dravidian culture in India, he genuinely does not give a shit about Crowley, or western magic in general.  He is a teaching professor, so doubtless quite skilled at debating without being emotionally involved.

    Suggesting (insisting!) that he was in any way hurt or offended by the thread is purely manipulative, a negative projection.  Putting him down as being out of control emotionally, to build yourself up, as the calm one in the exchange.  Seriously, we could take a poll, your behavior was that transparent.

  Oh,... hes got the female social consciousness gene activated too, it effectively nullifies his own male ego and makes male ego activity in others, transparently obvious. Your little debate was not at all, what you thought it was.

  He had no interest in debate, or in anything but to help and support you, and you used his attention to play ego games.  You were a pretty lame debater too, avoidance of hard questions. You never did answer his one persistent question, ARE YOU GROUNDED?

  Know why he kept asking?  One benefit of being well grounded and fed from source means you lose all interest in the types of power games people play to steal life energy from each other.... and from that place, other people's power games become really, transparently obvious.   

    Gopi is not interested in power games, I am not interested, we are grounded. You are the one still learning to get past them. Own it.

   I am not upset with you either.  This is just part of your growing, your learning curve and nothing new to me. It showed up here because it was supposed to, so it could be addressed.

  Before you waste more time with protestations and denial, you might want to consider how the primary use of discernment is to find out where you are lying to yourself to protect your ego.

  I know you are smart and can do better, and you want to. It is the wanting to, that matters most. Dedication to growing.

  This disrespectful behavior will cease once you wake up to it.

  In the meantime, .. you know from experience, and from being told, that opening a new lesson will bring an energy download so why would you deliberately choose to open a lesson at work and piss all that energy away? WHY.
  You knew you would not really be able to access the value, at work yet you did it anyway. WHY.

  Rhetorical question, answer it for yourself. Identify the fear that motivates the disrespect.

Regarding my Gopi exchange, yes, I think that I understand what you are saying regarding projections. I was feeling badly about the exchange and projected that onto him. I do not wish to create animosity with anyone and that is probably something that has been with me for a very long time and something that I need to release.

As far as the Shakti charges goes, I am lucky enough to have a job to be able to work from home about 95% of the time, so I have a meditation practice in the afternoon and one in the late eve (usually - if I am not too tired). I was in the office yesterday and had a meeting room to myself, so I read the lesson. Generally, the charges seem to kick in 1-2 days later, in my experience. I thought that this one would be the same and I was wrong. I was able to meditate, but not as deeply as I would like as I got pestered after about 30 minutes. My issues here are probably three-fold - impatience and eagerness (yes - the ego of rushing and being in control of the process, which I know that I am not, but old habits die hard) and probably a projection of how others are viewing me because of the guilt that I am projecting of being able to work from home, so I feel that I should be available at all times. Or in essense, probably an issue of controlling perception. To summarize - it is all control issues :-) I know that one (control the process) is an old one and the work one is newer.

I guess my question would be is there is an ideal time or practice which one does after a lesson? Generally, I will meditate which is started by grounding, but I don't recall reading anything written about it here, unless I missed it.

I have continued with the grounding at the normal amounts and hit the 45 days a couple of weeks back, but it feels like something has changed this week with it. I am feeling more and more vibrating sensation along with a heat/tingleness around arms and heart. Sometimes this tingling can be felt around the crown as well. This feels like a natural extension of the airy feeling that I would get not long ago, so the foundation of the grounding seems to be now bearing fruit.

On another positive note, I started doing Chi Kung last year in November in addition to my magic practices. I don't do Chi Kung any more as I started to do this course, but since I started the energy work, I haven't been ill in a year. I am not a sickly person, but that still astounded me. I normally will get a cold a couple of weeks out of the year and sometimes other ailments, but it seems that the energy work has really dilluted any potential illness and the effects that illness could have. I never would have thought that doing some simple breathing exercises like the full breath or even grounding would have such an impact in my general well-being and for that I am very grateful. :-)

Congrats on completing your 45 days practice.

Quote"I never would have thought that doing some simple breathing exercises like the full breath or even grounding would have such an impact in my general well-being"

And you're just getting started... Goddess has plenty of wonderful things planned for you!
When you arrive at your insights through personal experience (like you did with your grounding practice and health), there is no need to convince or advertise or argue with anyone else. Your truth is yours.

Thank you for sharing your progress.
Namaste
Gopi

Thank you for your kind words, Gopi. This course has given me a lot of optimism and I hope that it continues. I had a longer period of an Active Imagination session the other morning. Usually these sort of things are quite fleeting to me, but yesterday it kept going for longer than normal, so there is some stamina being built up which I am thankful to Goddess for.

I am now on the opening of the Heart Chakra lesson. I sense that this will be more difficult than other lessons. Granted, I have only had one day, but I have an episode that I keep coming back to which gives me pause. I was initiated into Reiki a long while ago (After reading about Quantum Theory not long after my initiation, I realized that I should have kept my cash and not done this), I had a session in training with someone who tried to heal me in redions of the body with her intuition. She went over my knee (which I had a recent operation on) and then kept going back to the heart region. She actually gave me my fathers name over the heart. I don't know what it meant nor did she as she was training like I was. For a long while, in my life, I have struggled with compassion. I have gotten much better over the years, but I do have fears (which I try to release) that this lesson will not work. It feels like there a sort of switch here which I should be able to trigger which is probably so simple. However, it is only day 1 of this lesson, so I will crack on in the hopes that I can figure it out :-)

During this week, I have felt a bit more pressure in the heart region. I am feeling a sort of tightness which wasn't present before. During last nights meditation, I felt a physical pressure which emanated from the feet and pushed through the chest around the heart. There wasn't emotion attached, but just a sort of physical sensation. I haven't yet heard anything from the heart from feelings/words/etc, but I will carry on. Not a lot else to report.

Ok - I think that I now know what the heart voice should sound like. I had a couple of very very faint things last week, but last night seemed to be more solid. When I asked about blockages in the heart region and then just relaxed and waited, I heard a specific name which wasn't my fathers name, but similar. I knew that it was my cousin and this made much more sense to me and probably what the Reiki healer told me many years ago. When I asked if there was anything more and the word 'Stress' came to me which was general, but my question was also very general. I will keep practicing, but it looks like a breakthrough for now. It wasn't a voice per se, but rather words which popped up when I was meditating.

I have had a good week with the work this week. I feel like Goddess is granting the Shakti charge and it last longer throughout the week. The continued grounding brings about more of a sustained charge, I feel. I had a couple of episodes with the heart voice, but that was the exception rather than the rule. That being said, I feel that with practice, that will get better.

I also felt that the shakti charge of the lesson is pointed to the lesson which surprised me. I felt more heat in the heart region this week, so perhaps I am relating the charges with the lesson when there is no relation, but it seemed that it was working synchronously with the lesson.