Vampire Mystic Academy meeting Tuesday July 17 at 9pm PDT, slt on Kundalini Mystic Isle in secondlife. 

  Sorry if the time is awkward, it is set for when our senior vampire, Vlad is available.

  Come to the meeting if you are, or think you might be a vampire.  One way I have of checking if someone is a vampire, is to ask the vortex in another vampire.  This is a good opportunity for that.  Other than that, the meeting is for vampires only, a focus group.

Blossom: Just a quick question about empty spaces (vacuum), when you're asking the vortex guide to transmute things do you also need to fill the empty spaces left behind as you would if you were surrendering stuff to goddess?

  The vortexes seem to do it automatically, you can ask for it to do so if you want to be sure.

I don't seem to have much interest in the chakras below the power chakra.

  Well, when ever there is an avoidance behavior, we have to wonder what is being avoided? Are you walled off below the waist because of autism, family history, or because your child self tried to lock up some scary monster? 

  Some people are simply asexual. Including me, lately. Menopausal hormones, I assume...  The body is still responsive but delicate and easily tired. The mind is busy elsewhere.

Did I have a curiosity about blood emerge around puberty, perhaps I did?

  I think most people already know what their blood tastes like, long before that age. Human instinct to suck on a paper cut, kids lick their wounds and taste their own blood. Girls relationship with their own blood, changes at puberty when it starts pouring out of them one week every month. What curiosities might arise from that change, are unpredictable.

I would like to add some observations.
I suggested to some Sangs that instead of word “feeding” or “food” they could simply use the world “medicine” or  “catalyst” or “activator” etc. As ingesting a spoon of blood every now and then has nothing to do with food or feeding. And blood itself has really not food like qualities in this context. And the whole situation is just not that. Thus the linguistic construct makes some members that are weaker in mind more crazy.

However they were all infuriated.
Anyway I was not even entertained by that discussion.
 Later I needed to bring some science research to show the facts that blood does not contain broad spectrum of sufficient nutrients so that one can live only on it. Again to no success.
So lets call it a condiment then?

I saw that using the whole vampire mythology, as is, something that mostly very new and cobbled together is something that can do more harm then good. As western mass-media vampire is more of a symbol of ego then anything else. Or better even a teenager ego. Isolated, not fitting in, in darkness away from society. Society is something less then they are and so on. Hyper sexual yet somehow unable to really “connect”. So for a confused teenager who is on some kind of path of self discovery and maybe is or is not a vampire, this mythical image is more feeding his or her problems. It mirrors them as well, thus its resonant and enticing, but offers little to none mythological solutions. In a way that many old wholesome myths do.
No wonder that black magic is then so prevalent. As from the point of mythology it makes sense.

If we see the person with the vortex as a sort of shamanic healer. Or perhaps a new type of shaman more suitable for city environments and current civilization situation. Then we have a image that is more image of a servant. Someone that has a clear place in society and is part of it. Very much as a shaman. Most shamans, there are exceptions, don't see themselves as a high status beings. They cant as their nature just keeps them on the straight and narrow.

So linguistically speaking the word vampire is burdened. The idea that Mystress present is nothing like the Vampire that the user of such label has in his mind or from mythology. In fact it has nothing to do with vampires, people taking in and transmuting energy is cool. But everybody does to various levels, they just do it differently. So its nothing to sooth their ego needs.

So Mystress is in a way attacking their ego construct. Construct that likely gives some sense of safety and specialness etc.
Suggesting that they should throw it away for a ego construct of vampire healer. Where the vampire is just a label for some special energy gift. Gift that has nothing to do with western vampire mythology etc. This by itself looks like tough nut to crack. As even with vortex help it has characteristic of a standard spiritual path of transformation. To which the person is apparently not interested and is even is unsure if any benefits would come out of it.

I heard Mystress jokingly use the word somewhere, the “shit eater”. Which actually occasionally appears in some old myths or tantric literature, usually connected with witches, dakinis and etc. Usually with forces extremely wise yet also forces you would not likely want to meet, less you would die, or so it is said. Who just dance on the graveyard at odd hours. I mean it just fits and is to the point.

One can feel the ego, memetic difference between the words “vampire” and “shit eater”
I would find that second label a more noble designation. Saner and safer in many ways.
Yet it is clear to me that one is unlikely win any converts to this label.

Duu

Duu wrote:
One can feel the ego, memetic difference between the words “vampire” and “shit eater”
I would find that second label a more noble designation. Saner and safer in many ways.
Yet it is clear to me that one is unlikely win any converts to this label.

Turd Burglars.

Annoying vampires is like shooting fish in a barrel. So easy. Especially, trolling them and telling them how they need to change to please you.

I feel the opposite, real vampires and the fear of them is the source of the mythology, like bad propaganda targeting a minority group. Why else would some vampires choose to stay hidden even when they are in a very safe space?

QuoteDuu - Why is energy lingering and not dispersing is the question. For sure there is plenty of energy for Vampires.

I am not sure if I can explain what 'hunger' feels like for a vampire to non-vamps. All humans get hungry - for food, affection, energy, knowledge, etc. Vampire hunger is... I don't want to say 'more intense' but feels more like 'all-consuming-madness' if it can be described through words. Eat or be eaten. As Mystress has pointed out, well-fed vamps can be fantastic healers (aka energy cleaners). If the vamp is not in surrender to his/her Divine Beloved and is instead acting from ego, then the vamp's energy body stagnates karma. What is not surrendered creates blockages and over time things start to snag when the vamp feeds. Nonetheless, even a vamp who is not in surrender can clean up a lot of energy (and some vamps learn with experience 'what not to eat').

When a vamp is in complete surrender to his/her Divine Beloved, then 'the world is your buffet' as Mystress put it. When in surrender, a vamp can clear mountains of karma-energy-debris accumulated over centuries and transmute it all into light without batting an eyelid. Freewill is Goddess law. Vamps have the potential but they have to consent out of freewill through surrender. Also, as Mystress pointed out, some places (like Auschwitz for instance) retain their painful memories as important lessons so that we never repeat them. Sometimes people are not yet done grieving for their loss and so fragments of energy linger around. Sometimes people are frozen in shock - either do not know that they are stuck or how to get 'unstuck' even though they feel the pain. And then there are groups that practice rituals glorifying past pain (sometimes in the form of 'ancestor worship') and it feeds the martyr ego. Negative energy lingers despite so many hungry vampires because people hold on to their pain for various reasons (even though this may seem irrational and/or counter intuitive).

Ascended beings are quantum - they are everywhere and now-here. So they can take pain, transmute it, and clear energy debris without disturbing the suffering person (consent happens between the person's guide and the ascended being) for the highest good of all. Healing can then happen at a pace that is right for the individual in accordance with their higher guidance. Love is the highest quantum energy state and ascended quantum beings are incapable of harming anything in existence. Of course, one can always fall out of grace and grow new ego personalities about why they are so special (or as Mystress puts it 'hero trips')!

QuoteDuu - I heard Mystress jokingly use the word somewhere, the “shit eater”. Which actually occasionally appears in some old myths or tantric literature, usually connected with witches, dakinis and etc. Usually with forces extremely wise yet also forces you would not likely want to meet, less you would die, or so it is said. Who just dance on the graveyard at odd hours. I mean it just fits and is to the point.

There is lots of myth and some truth about this. In India, the Aghori tantric tradition practices rituals that are considered unacceptable by most Hindu norms. Ghora means 'terror' and aghora means 'beyond terror'. Aghoris meditate on cremation grounds in front of burning corpses. Some eat parts of the corpse, shit, and/or anything that is offered. Aghoris smoke ganja and walk around naked. Many smear ashes of burnt corpses all over their bodies and use an empty skull as their drinking/food bowl. All of these practices are considered 'extreme' and 'taboo' by society. The tantric lesson behind these practices is to realize non-duality - witnessing life in the presence of death and acceptance of one's own mortality. Of course, one does not have to eat a corpse or shit in order to realize this. These extreme practices are not necessary but they do serve a purpose for some people in their specific context. Media focus and public interest is always about the weird stuff that they can make colorful documentaries about and sell as exotic.

Aghoris worship Shiva as their Guru. In Shaivism, God is Love. All the demons, ghosts, ghouls, undead, and other outcast creatures are all considered Shiva's children when they surrender. God's love shines on everyone the same. In many ways, aghoris were important social revolutionaries in the evolution of Hindu theology and spirituality. Organized religion from all over the world has a tendency to demonize those that don't fit within specific templates. Aghoris by their way of life poked social taboos and broke caste boundaries. Many great social leaders and revolutionary thinkers in India were students of aghoris, who wish to remain anonymous.

The tantric lesson in lots of aghori practices is to see beyond the illusion of duality - to face terror and see beyond terror. It is often emphasized in Tantric traditions that the 'face of God/dess' is terrifying if you approach through ego and compassionate if you approach through surrender. Facing unconditional love pulls out all your fears - no place to hide - and must be surrendered. In aghori tradition, death, shit, and decay represent fear of the ego and hence the rituals. Enlightened aghoris are known to clean the energy of their surroundings just by their presence. Therefore, a lot of folks seek their blessing and touch even though aghoris are usually socially ostracized.

PS: I am not suggesting that all aghoris are enlightened or that aghori practices are required for anyone. Just providing some context.

For my fellow vamps, you can get the black and gold ankh ring at https://www.aliexpress.com/item/Men-s-Two-Tone-Cut-out-Ankh-Egyptian-Cross-Ring-for-Men-Stainless-Steel-Gold-Black/32857973172.html?spm=2114.search0104.3.1.30ae9e7bkrXdI1&ws_ab_test=searchweb0_0,searchweb201602_5_10152_10151_10065_10344_10130_10068_10547_10342_10343_10340_10548_10341_10696_10084_10083_10618_5723416_10139_10307_10059_100031_10103_10624_10623_10622_10621_10620,searchweb201603_1,ppcSwitch_2&algo_expid=fb2d48d1-1e02-41bc-a987-478d4b62631b-0&algo_pvid=fb2d48d1-1e02-41bc-a987-478d4b62631b&priceBeautifyAB=0 for four bucks.

Pip (my vampire guide) likes to tell me 'Don't fear!' I think Pip is trying to have me surrender my fears more often. I still struggle with depression, but I can get myself out of it faster now. I think by saying "Don't fear!' Pip is also guiding me towards ascension. I know that I can't ascend with any fear and that my karma is proportional to the amount of fear I have.

I also think a lot of my depression is food poisoning combined with self-pity because my power chakra is polluted and overwhelmed. I think my depression sometimes comes from exhaustion as well. I tend to do a boom-bust thing where I go go go for a few days, then spend the next two days in bed. After sleeping for a long time and not using my lightbox, getting sunlight, or grounding I feel down and depressed and it takes me a while to climb out of it. When I exhaust myself doing things in the community, I find that I don't have as much time to surrender my stuff and other's stuff to Pip, and when combined with physical exhaustion it takes its toll on me.

Sorry I missed the vamp chat last night, I was exhausted and needed to sleep!

WZ

Good scoop on the ring. At that price, buy a bunch, that black coating on stainless steel is prone to show scratches.
I was actually intending to show examples of discreet ankh rings, I expect individuals will shop for themselves for their own fashion preferences and budget. Getting a reminder ring has been very helpful for the vamps who tried it so far.

  It is also a bit of discreet cultural signaling, with plausible deniability. Good way to meet like minds, and helpful donors.  Most people don't know ankh is the symbol of vampires unless they have some knowledge of vamp culture, truth or fiction. Iconic, the vampires in the movie "The Hunger" (David Bowie,  Catherine Deneuve and Susan Sarandon, wow!) wore ankh pendants with a blade hidden in the stem. They were fangless.

  Just like most people don't know that wearing my keychain near my left hip signals that I am a FemDom. Only a sub or another Dom would recognise the symbolism of my 2.5" ring keychain being hung from a large silver snap hook, (bondage device)  or that it includes a handcuff key on one side, visible and accessable (other bondage device and signals a safe Miss) or the long antique skeleton keys in the center that hang lower than the others. They don't open anything but evoke imagery of dungeon cell doors and cages to the kink-minded, and silly goth pirate fashion to everyone else.
  Noticed a store detective/security watching me as I opened bottles of shampoo to sniff the scent. His gaze didn't seem suspicious so I shrugged at it. It was the keychain. Few minutes later the lonely divorced subbie asked me out for a coffee date.

  I know that I can't ascend with any fear and that my karma is proportional to the amount of fear I have.

  Well, there is a little more to it than that. Karma, is fear. Free will is binary, love or fear. Karma is made of all the times you chose fear.  Choosing fear is making more karma but also puts you into a state of resistance where what is trying to be cleared does not flow.  When you are well grounded and free from fear, that is optimum for karma clearing and vortex work.  Being in a fearful state really throws a wrench into things... but you can invite it to take the fear and its sources. Ask it to take anything that interferes with your grounding, and staying grounded.  You cannot keep investing energy in choosing fear. Becoming fearless is part of grounding discipline.

Sorry I missed the vamp chat last night, I was exhausted and needed to sleep!

  Yeah, I guessed you were sleeping when you did not respond to my ims. Was funny to cam to you and see your av passed out on the rug in the tantra temple. Only three of us again so I am open to suggestions for a more universally convenient chat time.

Heh, I used to carry a handcuff key on my keychain when I was into kink. I still prefer to wear things on the left side of the body, it feels more resonant for me even though I've subbed in the past.

Yeah, sometimes when I go down for a nap I teleport to the tantra temple and sleep on the rug or the hammock. That are of Kundalini mystic isle feels very chill and nap-like. Occasionally I pass out in the FST temple or sitting against the Tree of Life. Question: you know the purple ball of light next to the Tree of Life? Is that a representation of the violet flame? I love flying into the middle of it and meditating.

As some of you may saw I I replied to this post earlier informing Mystress that I may be a vamp because my sensitive friend kept calling me that and that I had noticed some of my vampire tendencies since he said that.

Quote from: Mystress on Jun 23, 2018, 12:28:45 PM
  I do not like to tell people what they are, like that. I especially avoid it with vampires. As WZ wrote, I led her to discover it for herself. That is what I do. Typically I have them look for the stuff within themselves, not even describing what they are looking for.  I do not like it when people ask me if they are a shaman either.

So I went to the vamp meeting and we figured out that I am not a psi vamp, sang or a sexual vamp but that I am simply acting like a vampire by feeding off of other peoples life force, without their consent, which is a very aggressive act. Usually, when kids go through adolescence they learn how to feed themselves through their roots and stop needing energy from their parents, they become dependent on themselves. However, I never learned how to properly feed myself during adolescence.

I was a smart and cheery kid growing up until middle school and highschool where I experienced some bullying and rejection from my peers. I can remember a few instances where I was threatened to be beat up by classmates and just general bullying that I think most people experience in their school careers.  I took these rather common experiences to heart. These instances made me feel anxious and scared that I was going to be beat up, bullied or rejected. I began projecting those same anxious feelings onto future events that were not actually threatening and developed social anxiety. Common things like talking to a stranger, being in a classroom or in the presence of others became painful. In short, I was not grounded, I felt like I wasn't enough to face life.

I am 21 now and still struggle with many of the problems I faced in the past. Now I have another problem to overcome, I need to learn to grow my roots. I am still struggling with using my own energy instead of feeding off of other people but my drug abuse has stopped, the depression is gone and I am doing better with relationships.

Thankfully, Mystress showed me how I can learn how to feed myself properly, I used the technique today and will continue to do so so I can grow strong roots and stop being dependent on other peoples energy because this practice teaches me to be dependent on my own energy. Which I am very grateful for.

The good news is that learning to wean myself off of using other peoples energy will not take too long, with practice and dedication. I am looking forward to the change that will come with this practice. I also found that this grounding practice helps me get in touch with my shadow side, I am learning to make my shadow conscious and learning to use my darkside for good

Thank you Mystress for this practice and Thank you Gopi for the insights on the nature of anxiety and my own anxiety.



 

 Thank you for posting some closure to your earlier query. I was glad to see you in the chat. That is part of the purpose of the vamp chats, for people who are wondering to get checked out. Vampires can detect other vampires more easily than I can. Like the vortexes are all talking on the same channel. I can listen in, but I don't get the visceral reaction vamps feel in the presence of kin.

  I would like to add, how this pattern is so like a drug addiction. You feed to psyche yourself up before and during a social interaction to keep the social anxiety at bay- be all sparkly charismatic and it is a rush, but its later when the rush has faded and fatigue sets in, you get the hangover from their karma stuff plus some karma penalty for the theft. Karma is all, fragments of ego identity and emotions, plus the fear that made it karma. Coalesces into blockages showing patterns of anxiety, depression, mood swings, physical pain and stiffness because it manifests in the body as tension. The addict goes looking for another hit to recapture the rush and feel better. The more the karma noise from other people builds up in the body, the worse they feel and the more energy they need to recapture the rush.

  It is a really bad downward spiral, suicidal and I am really glad you are pulling out of that tailspin. Your presence felt so much better when you were filling yourself with chi from the sun.

Before that... well, knowing the effect you had on me is seeing the proof of a power  to steal and why you do not want to fall into using it again. Forgiven, because it was unconscious and because you needed to see it to have strength of determination to break the pattern.  Now that it is conscious... The line that came to mind was "Do it again and I will pound you flat like chicken parmigana!" Sounds like a line from some comedy gangster movie like "Johnny Dangerously." Don't do that again, to anyone ok? You are not that kind of guy.

  I do wonder, how much of the pain was empathy with the shape you are in. Gopi's vortex found you delicious so you got big help with purifying the past noise. Almost a fresh start, though I am sure there is plenty for you to process and get insights from.

  Incidentally, your delight (and relief!) in the purity of the energy you got from the sun, like cool water from a mountain glacier stream... was another indication you are not a vampire. Vampires would find it kind of bland, they prefer energy that is tragedy flavoured, with crazy sprinkled on top and some fear of death sauce.

I need to learn to grow my roots. I am still struggling with using my own energy instead of feeding off of other people but my drug abuse has stopped, the depression is gone and I am doing better with relationships.

I was struggling, I do remember mentioning roots but I don't think I explained it. So I will, for everyone.

  The grounding I teach to children is to imagine being a tree, with strong deep roots. Taking in sunshine through every leaf, and nourished by the earth. They are too young for kundalini, they do not benefit from a grounding cord into the core, but they do feel better when rooted.  Sometimes with a flower, the crown opening makes them more receptive to learning. Another reason to get grounded before every lesson.

  I have found that people suffering emotional instability due to excess empathy just need the roots. Deep wide roots of a big old oak tree. Roots reaching along under the grass, taking up the rain and the minerals. They don't have to be crazy big (one overachiever immediately wrapped them all around the planet, useless) just what would be normal for an old oak.  The big taproot, thick and strong down the center, growing down so deep,branching,  anchoring it against all storms. Focus on that one. Yes, everyone. Try it. Imagine it there below you, part of you, and meditate on it until you feel a distinct shift in your sense of self. 

  The radio of all the noise and chaos fades and switches off. In feeling the roots and knowing the taproot, you discover who you are. The real guy, underneath all the noise. What he wants, his essential integrity, how he feels about things. You will feel a shift when all the external influences switch off and you become your real self. You can think of him, as who you are, as a man, an adult. You will feel it as soon as you feel the shift, and you will know, you want nothing more than to be him for the rest of your life. It is like coming home, to yourself. Your unique personality.  You have barely had a chance to know him, too busy worrying about how you appear to others and struggling with your emotions. 

  So it is not so much a matter of growing your roots, your unconscious mind and imagination already know what they look like, right? So you have grown them. Now you need to keep them in focus. Be that guy. Keep focusing on your roots.

  The delayed process of weaning yourself off needing energy from other adults is also a maturation process, mentally and emotionally. I talked about the native coming of age rites where the new adult is sent off to the woods to get a vision of their new name. Your adult self is already shaped, and you don't need a name change. You need to get to know him, become him.

  This is your root self. He is of instinct. We think of instinct as something primitive but it is actually sophisticated, and it does not need to think, to know so it is very decisive. Instinct has no ego but a profound and laser sense of self. He has no social anxiety, and people tend to respond positively because he is genuine. 

  Grounding connects you to Source, the planetary consciousness. Roots ground you into your core self.

Editing this to add:

   There are a lot of techniques I know but don't teach, especially if there is potential for it to be misused. Sava refers to my teaching him to feed himself. He is forbidden to share it. He got a secret out of me because I was at the end of my rope! Taught in self defense, lol. He had unconsciously drained me so completely I was struggling to not pass out asleep and the only fix for it was to teach him to totally gorge himself on sky energy.  My shaman body recovered soon after his hunger was redirected.

  I am not sure I have ever taught this to an FST student before. A faint memory of maybe a chat a decade ago?  I consider it a psychosis risk. Forewarned! Sava had a big capacity for energy...( he drained me and went looking for dessert!) and was so chi starved he felt skeletal. Feeding on other people's energy wrecked him but it was also, quite a workout. It is the right medicine for him. Might not be right for you.

  Shaman kid, I have been instinctively stretching my ability to hold energy since my teens. Almost competitive, looking to beat the personal best. I do teach it to shamans, the guide mediates so it doesn't run them off their rails.  Obviously, a competitive attitude is not a state of surrender so most people end up overloaded. It is kind of a rush too so potentially addictive.
    The grounding feeds you enough.

  I have not even named this technique. "Binge and purge" lol amuses me, veeery un-pc so, "flood and dump?" lol, no.

   The first part of the grounding, where you fill your center... except pushing it. Trying to stretch to see how much sky energy you can cram in, until you feel like an overfilled balloon. Feeling the stretched state, the personal limits (Sava's body is getting flooded with the chi it needs to recover, -clean energy for a change-, and being reoriented to a new abundant food source.) To hit a limit, means your body has absorbed all the chi it can use. Then, instead of a slow trickle, you dump the energy all a once like pulling the cord on a laundry chute. The whole bottom of the reservoir opens up and the energy floods out, you let it all go. Relax in the resulting upward flow of Shakti like bathing in a river, letting it wash over you and through you. No resistance. I compared it to rinsing a glass by filling it and dumping it out repeatedly.

  The prescription was for Sava to do it twice after grounding, followed by a regular grounding. 3x if he missed doing it on the previous grounding. That's a tougher schedule than I put shamans on! We felt his reorienting process will take 2-3 months and he won't feel a need for it after that.

  For everyone else, try it if you want to, once or twice to feel it. Curiosity.

  Increased energy, triggers more stuff.  Monitor yourself, are you getting overloaded or a sort of karma hangover with more emotional stuff coming up after, or the next day? 
   I didn't teach it because you don't need it.  Basic grounding is the essential thing. Stick with that.  
 

There is a meditation I use on youtube that has you plant your feet about a foot deep in the earth and imagine taproots growing out of your feet. I just imagine taproots and my irritability and sensitivity to noise faded. Everything went quiet. Thank you, Mystress!

Grounded with extra focus on digging my oak roots into the earth and the meditation *definitely* has more kick. Much silence. Wonderful.

Yep, my landlord was mowing right next to my window and the noise faded dramatically when I imagined my roots growing into the earth. Very powerful.

Quote from: WhimsicalZephyr on Jul 20, 2018, 09:27:52 AM
There is a meditation I use on youtube that has you plant your feet about a foot deep in the earth and imagine taproots growing out of your feet. I just imagine taproots and my irritability and sensitivity to noise faded. Everything went quiet. Thank you, Mystress!

Yeah I did not invent the "be a tree" visualization, I am not sure anyone could claim it, its just an instinctive thing kids do.  Arm branches stretched up and out, trying to grow as tall as possible. Some day cares use it as a sort of yoga stretch after naptime.

  Your description of the youtube vid tells me where I need to be clearer. Imagining my feet buried in the earth feels a bit claustrophobic, like a gangster gave me cement shoes. Maybe the same one who likes to cook chicken parmigiana! Roots growing from the soles of my feet seems a bit creepy too. The area is not large enough. You end up with two taproots. I feel like I would have to pull and reroot them with every step.   The visualization is too connected with the physical body, trying too hard to fit with it and becomes awkward. 

  Imagine a tree trunk around your body, about the width of your shoulders or hips but rounded. That gives a sense of scale relative to the body and is all the connection needed.  Old oaks are bigger, but the imagination has a different sense of size and cannot sustain too large and complex a vision. A trunk that's a little bit +- your body width (bones) is usually big enough and very sustainable.  Once you have measured the size of the root base, you can forget the trunk, dissolve it from around you.  The feeder roots closer to the bark surface grow out from under the edges of it, and the core of the taproot extends down from your center, your central channel but the root itself is wider.

  While it is easy enough to imagine the lower grounding cord going through the taproot, I find it diminishes the effectiveness, like it represents a distraction from the root presence. Grounding is an accurate but abstract image of the energy body,  whereas the roots are modeled on a physical living thing of a different species, and completely different energy body.  Its like they work on different dimensions, which in a way is true. Grounding into earth, grounding into root identity.  Overlapping them gives a combo that is useful, but less than the sum of its parts with regards to intensity. Waters it down.

  Its like if you try to merge Hawaii and the North pole together in your mind. They don't fit, either the palm trees are frozen dead or the snow is gone. The mind will start building greenhouses on top of hot springs. Creating a separation between the climates is not the same as making them coexist.

  Get well grounded, lock it in, and then turn your attention to imaging the roots as something very natural and organic.

   You asked to know more about the lower chakras. Learn all about the root by being there.
 

Just had another thought, is it okay to vent to the vortex? I do feel it is okay. So, sharing your frustrations, complaints and other such stuff to the vortex. I am sure the vortex (if one has one) is aware of what is happening but it's more for the impulse of needing to express with someone/something that you're finding a situation challenging. The need to be heard. Blogging achieves this too, to some extent.

Is the growing the roots also about belonging? like being rooted in this life?

And I guess it's important to give the vortex permission to snack on projectiles thrown your way?

I can usually get a sense of when someone is sending something my way. I think my body reacts in disbelief with what to do with that stuff.  I could be going about my business and suddenly get a whack in my belly - a heavy feeling, uneasiness, a twisting sensation and other such stuff in the SP. Hence, the need to walk on eggshells/don't poke the bear/not rock the boat/exerting energy to try and minimise offense etc. when interacting with others...lest they throw something at me. How come my unconscious doesn't deflect the projections? yes, snack food, great...

I am just re-reading the projections page on the kundalini-teacher site. I don't know if this would be considered unwanted empathy, as there is a delay with the initial sending of the response and when I receive it. It doesn't feel like my own stuff coming back at me. It's like the whole defend and protect from other's projections doesn't work because consent was granted on a higher-level (karma yoga? not quite?) but the little me, on some level, is annoyed at having to take this burden on and be disposal factory for other people's crud. It feels overwhelmed. Is it the child me? Is the adult me? Child me, throwing a tantrum. It's just a part of me that is feeling this way but it is causing resistance.  Needs not met is what I get.  Refusal to comply until that "need"  has been satisfied.

Please feel free to amend the post if some of it doesn't fit the overall topic. I will continue to do the exploratory stuff regarding the above in my own space...

Day two of the grounding and I have noticed an increase in energy and less of the karma hangover I was experiencing before from stealing energy has seemed to almost disappear since I started focusing on my own energy in social situations and at work. I even wrote in my journal today, my first entry for the coursework.

Blossom wrote: Just had another thought, is it okay to vent to the vortex? I do feel it is okay. So, sharing your frustrations, complaints and other such stuff to the vortex. I am sure the vortex (if one has one) is aware of what is happening but it's more for the impulse of needing to express with someone/something that you're finding a situation challenging.

 For sure, you can talk to it about anything in your life. If you do not have a vortex, your DB is always listening anyway.

And I guess it's important to give the vortex permission to snack on projectiles thrown your way?

I can usually get a sense of when someone is sending something my way. I think my body reacts in disbelief with what to do with that stuff.

Mine does too. My ADD has a little bit of defiance disorder and I can locate it, it is behind my heart on the right side, a place where the rib pops out of place and gives a pain under my right shoulder blade, like a dagger stuck in.  It reacts to people projecting who they want me to be, for them, telling them to F-off and so it is one point in my body that is not in surrender. 

  In front, it is an automatic defensive/aggressive response from the power chakra but I mitigated that reaction by cyborging myself a bit. I installed a mirror in front of my power chakra with a filter for that stuff, that reflects it up to my heart to be processed instead of out into the world fighting wars.

If you think of the projectiles as a gift they are sending, they become digestible by the vortex. You can invite it to accept all incoming projections as a snack gift and just let you know if they contain any important info. Ask it to help the child/fearful self who goes defensive too.

  Keep in mind, higher vibe people register as "guru" in the unconscious minds of those in need and they will be moved to dump some of their karma on you, because that's what people do with gurus. If you have a vortex then it is negotiating for snacks with the unconscious minds and higher selves of other people and they won't know why they feel moved to share.

Just re-reading everything in the thread. One thing that has attached like a bur is when I said sang instead of a sexual vampire.

Regarding looking below the waist, I'd say it is a mixture of a few things autism, self-protection, family history, c-section birth. I am starting to get a sense of that part of my body, the heat, and energy movement. I did do the tree exercise a few times, but I did not get much from it.

I gave the 'vortex' permission to eat the projectiles and to help my child/fearful self. I have slowly been feeling a weight shift, the aftermath is a ball of heat and lightness in my gut. More calmness. I sat with things a bit more in the days after and had to think about what I was actually doing when I went into resistance. I mean, if stuff was negotiated on a higher level then those individuals have already relinquished their hold on that stuff and then it is up to me to say yes to it. They're now lighter(?) for unloading their gifts, and it's me who 'suffers' or becomes bitter about the stuff now stuck in the in-between. So, then it's self-inflicted pain. All I can think of is a beaver creating a dam in a river (beavers do this as protection against predators?). I am giving permission to the 'vortex' to reach back into my past for all the gifts, that I did not see as gifts, to have as a snack food.

In terms of getting a physical feeling (b/c that comes easiest) of the vortex and location of it in my body, letting go of any preconceptions, I just feel an intense heat and a circulation of energy tingles in the area around my stomach/diaphragm, and then awareness of it down below the belly button. And then the energy starts to extend down to my lower back after some time. It just permeates my chest cavity, abdomen and the area below the waist. And I admit, I feel a bit of confusion with the lack of "distinction" and how it "permeates" or "oozes" everywhere. So, a preconception appears. It may be something I just need to give more time, see what emerges after some space.

Quote from: Mystress on Jul 20, 2018, 02:34:04 AM

   The first part of the grounding, where you fill your center... except pushing it. Trying to stretch to see how much sky energy you can cram in, until you feel like an overfilled balloon. Feeling the stretched state, the personal limits (Sava's body is getting flooded with the chi it needs to recover, -clean energy for a change-, and being reoriented to a new abundant food source.) To hit a limit, means your body has absorbed all the chi it can use. Then, instead of a slow trickle, you dump the energy all a once like pulling the cord on a laundry chute. The whole bottom of the reservoir opens up and the energy floods out, you let it all go. Relax in the resulting upward flow of Shakti like bathing in a river, letting it wash over you and through you. No resistance. I compared it to rinsing a glass by filling it and dumping it out repeatedly.

  The prescription was for Sava to do it twice after grounding, followed by a regular grounding. 3x if he missed doing it on the previous grounding. That's a tougher schedule than I put shamans on! We felt his reorienting process will take 2-3 months and he won't feel a need for it after that.

  For everyone else, try it if you want to, once or twice to feel it. Curiosity.

  Increased energy, triggers more stuff.  Monitor yourself, are you getting overloaded or a sort of karma hangover with more emotional stuff coming up after, or the next day? 
   I didn't teach it because you don't need it.  Basic grounding is the essential thing. Stick with that.  
 
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I have found that stretching over a stool on my back with a pillow to cushion the weight, the stool in the center of my body to get a deep stretch while I fill myself up with chi, breathing deeply in to gather air, is more effective to gather all the chi I can then to dump on the ground with my knees bent underneath me and my head faced towards the earth, breathing out heavily to re inforce the dumping act is more effective when the little stretch is not enough, I even went as far as saying out loud kind of loudly what I am doing to inform Goddess of my intent (sometimes it just isn't enough) it is quite an aggressive ritual this way, sometimes it takes 5 or 10 minutes to perform but I feel much calmer after doing so. I think doing it this way is okay, especially when Im really filled with bad chi.

I am reading some old posts (dating back to 2010), to see if I can get a new perspective on certain things. I do notice that some things I was concerned about back then re-emerge in different ways now. One thing you do keep repeating to me is "Don't be too hard on yourself" - I really honestly don't know how not to be. I can't seem to drop the perfectionism.

So, n one post, I was trying to explore my ugly side. I said: "I've noticed that I have a habit of being quite biting."  This was in reference to me shit-stirring other people if there was something in me that reacted to their presence.

You responded by saying: Digging through this stuff is good, healthy. I think you are missing an underlying issue though and that is how these are all control games.  People play control games when they are ungrounded, to steal the energy they need from other people instead of connecting to source. 

Children need a parent or guardians love and attention like they need air, and the behavior patterns developed to get it is sort of below the level of the ego, wired into the survival mechanisms.

A lot of the primary control games we learned as a survival issue in childhood, will always surface again when your energy is low, no matter how enlightened you get, or are the rest of the time.  If you get to know them well... know yourself well, you will catch them quicker when they appear.

Don't be too hard on yourself, everybody's got stuff. Continue with the introspection and surrender, but focus a little more on grounding and feeding yourself from source so the control dramas don't come up.

If you look at the above behaviour from a 'vampire' lens would this be akin to Vampire asshole?

Quote from: Blossom on Aug 10, 2018, 09:21:49 PM
If you look at the above behaviour from a 'vampire' lens would this be akin to Vampire asshole?

  Well, different facets of the larger whole pattern of human power struggles.

  Incubators for premature babies have gloves built in because it was discovered the babies won't survive unless they are touched, caressed, petted. They need the energy of attention. Children need it too, will act out to get attention energy, and so will vampires. We are supposed to mature at 13, establish our own energy connections and not be dependent.  If everybody was successful at it then there would be no power games. The socialization effects of ego, sometimes leaves people feeling unworthy of that divine energy, it comes up for some people when they learn to ground.

  Get grounded and power games lose their attraction... for most people. Vampires find the purity of divine energy to be lacking a certain something... (terror, crazy, death flavour)  and will keep wanting energy from others regardless of how grounded.

  What you described earlier, is a little like my shaman reactivity. Early years archives of the K list are full of what members came to trust and labeled "Zen whackings."  I would get possessed by someone's karma and spew it back at them flaming but insightful, smacking kundalini psychosis back into sanity.   Eventually I figured out that the intensity of harshness was in direct proportion to their resistance to the message... and as the process itself, (pushing past someone's resistance while possessed) is painful and exhausting I became a lot more of a hermit and focused on working with the receptive.

   Some tearoom posts still have a bit of an edge...  I admire Dale Carnegie "Never criticize, condemn or complain" and try for it, and wish I could be so smooth but my shaman takes over and it  says "Fuck that, tell the truth."

  Being a hermit has gotten kind of embedded too, as I made the decision this spring to return to public session work but have spent months stuck in procrastination trying to update the k teacher websites to say so. I have been trying to work out why... I actually enjoy working with people, sessions are fascinating.

  I think part of it, is in the early days I had more backup. My Tribe would karma vamp me after sessions, picking off the lint and leftovers to enjoy the rush, 3rd party rules. The Tribe faded slowly after FST opened, and kind of fell apart when percyval died. I do call on the FST lineage occasionally but they have busy lives and are mostly in Europe so, time zones. Some of my R&D vamps have been willing, so maybe a sign to build a new cleanup crew of vampires. Volunteers?


   

Quote from: Mystress on Aug 15, 2018, 12:49:33 PM
Some of my R&D vamps have been willing, so maybe a sign to build a new cleanup crew of vampires. Volunteers?

Yum!

Quote from: Mystress on Jun 25, 2018, 11:25:52 AM
  Sangs have two additional marks in the energy body besides the vortex.

What are the other Sang marks?

Quote from: Mystress on Jun 24, 2018, 02:12:09 AMI would like to send the vampires that wander into FST, off to a sister school, Vampire Mystic Academy,  where they can get the specialized training and support from other vampires who are also FST grads.

I sent in a VMA join-form a month ago, after the SL chat. Did it go through?

Flammie wrote: What are the other Sang marks?

  Sangs have three marks, the vortex, the ice blade and the cloak. I describe them in the first post.

I sent in a VMA join-form a month ago, after the SL chat. Did it go through?

  No. As I mentioned previously, that site is broken and broken, web form, membership management system and forum, that's the whole site, all busted.

  However the form script I use keeps a backup file of all entries so I was able to retrieve the raw data of your posts, Zephyr's and some spam from it.

  That got me looking at how bad the mess really was... because I am a little impatient for it to go live too!  So...  another distraction from k teacher lol. I got in under the hood, poked and banged on things all night long, and maybe? I think? I actually managed to fix everything? I am not quite sure because I have not tested it, I am too tired to work on it more right now. 

  The membership management was installed into the wrong folder, then I had to rewrite the membership application form. Doubtless it will get refined, over time.

  The web form on the main page, was not a "join" so much as "interested to know more." Collecting email addresses to send an update when it went live.  Might be fixed, needs editing anyway now that the membership application is live.

   Vampire Mystic Academy is intended for vampires only, and shamans because we make good support. That means membership has to be filtered.  I do not want to be gatekeeper saying who is or isn't a vampire, but the questions on the application are to get to know people better, for my eyes only.

Some of my R&D vamps will get nickname, age, gender and location info only, to tune in remotely and look for marks, and ask their vortexes about new people.  Very glad of their help with that!  Takes one to know one, eh?

  You, and the other confirmed FST vamps, I will rubberstamp your application. 

   The forum seemed mostly ok except I had gotten stuck partway through customizing the colours. Got that sorted, kinda... improved at least. 

  Its set up like FST, there is the membership access and then you register yourself to the forum.

  Related to the gatekeeper thing, there is a second level of security, it is a bit of a compromise. When you login to the members area there is a forum, and only two boards of it are visible: Guestbook and test posts. Like a lobby area for meet and greets, for the people I am not sure of. I can give them temporary access to introduce themselves on the guestbook,  and end it if they turn out not to be. 

   For those who are confirmed vampire, you get added to the vampires group and then you can see all the other boards dedicated to the training.  Though its a skeleton with just titles, at this point, Vampire Mystic Academy is sort-of open.     7 am now! Time to sleeeep....
   

Some of my R&D vamps have been willing, so maybe a sign to build a new cleanup crew of vampires. Volunteers?


I volunteer!

WZ

   

  Feels like this thread is drawing to a close, its time to stop distracting the regular students and bring the vamps to the new Vampire Mystic Academy  forum. I am not going to lock the thread but I feel it has served its purpose.

  Vampires, please fill out the application form at http://vampiremysticacademy.com/cgi-bin/la/register.cgi to become a member of the new Vampire Mystic Academy.  The form is long because I want to get to know people better, but most of the fields are optional. Look for the * and be sure to get them all because the form will forget everything you wrote it you have to hit the "back" button. (Might want to write your thoughts into a text file and paste. )  Mention your FST username under "Share:" so I know you.

  If you are not sure if you are a vampire, do the same. You will get temporary ( a few weeks) access to the guest area of the VMA forum where you can register, introduce yourself, have your vampire state reviewed, maybe get advice or feedback about your condition. 

VMA forum

  If you are approved, your intro post will be moved into the members only area for privacy.

Gabba Gabba We accept you! We accept you! One of us! (Love the Ramones!)

  Verified vampires and supportive shamans will get the VMA Member group tag giving access to the members only instruction and info pages.

  Mystress vampire support and R&D team also get a VMA Staff tag and access to those boards.

  Seeya there!