Plenty of room here.  Let us know how it goes for you.  Or, don't. 

Thank you for welcoming me.  I have been undergoing a kundalini awakening over the past two years.  I have been practicing the elephant path of Buddhist meditation, which takes into account the kundalini symptoms, so I never really knew that is what was going on.  Recently, she wanted to me know what was happening to me and how various esoteric practices I have utilized coalesce to form the path that I am on.  As for how I am now.  I am achy and cold all the time.  I have constant body tremors.  I feel like I could make love to several woman at once for several days on end.  People and animals that I have been bleed through into this consciousness.  The world begin to bend to my intention.  I spontaneously speak in different languages, prowl about on all fours like a giant cat, I snarl like a wolf, I cry like a child, I chant and worship in involuntary postures and unknown tongues.  I no longer know who or what I am anymore.  I am everything and I am nothing. 

I have been led here because I know how to stand alone.  I know that she is more than sufficient to guide me to the end, but I am lonely.  Embracing her is a doubled edge sword.  All my life I have wanted to escape from the lonely place that I was kept in, and now that I am ready and the time is right, she has taken me by the hand led me out.  In emerging from that dark place of holding, I now contain an intense sense of connectedness to everything around me and a human feeling of being alone and like no one else.  I am here because I long to feel connected to others who are like me, who understand what I am going through.  Being alone no longer serves a purpose on my path.     

 

     

Well, Indigo Dragon, you have a good base line upon which to sow the seeds of your FST.  It'll be interesting to see how things go.  All the best, in manageable ways, of course.

Welcome, Indigo Dragon. I've gotten a lot of support in the Tea Room. We're all in the same FST boat here, and it's a hell of a boat. Hopefully it'll help dispel the loneliness for you

Mystress created a whole island on Second Life, and there are FST chats there. I still haven't made it out there yet, something to look forward to...

Happy New Year!

Sigmund,
I like how you said "baseline".  It is easy to get caught up in the intensity of the symptoms and forget that they are leading to a much more profound state of being.  I have a lot to relearn.  I am grateful for the structured/systematic nature of this course.  Not as grateful that I have to wait a week for each lesson.  With that said, I know I have always moved a little too fast for my own good.  If Shakti appeared to me and said you can achieve immediate enlightenment, but you have cut off one of your own fingers, I would be down.  Just give me the knife.           

Hey, I.D.  About waiting a week, it's not merely that one has to wait, per se, it's to give the mind and body time to integrate and for you to have time to reflect on a lesson.  There may come times that you find it may take you longer than a week on a lesson, for that reason.

There are no limits on how many times you can review a lesson during that week. 

I have had the false perception that I had to survive all my life.  Sex abuse from three to six followed by a childhood of emotional neglect did that.  My ego kept me alive and I am grateful to it.  Now that it is time to relax into her arms, it is a little awkward.  Wanting to rush through the lessons is a manifestation of my need to control the process and resist doing things on her terms.  I have felt the need to settle down and trust her, but there is a lot of thrashing from the ego as it is choked of what it craves the most.  It is nice to have someone else in charge for a change.     

 The mystery curtains to force students to pace themselves are relatively recent. When the course first opened I let people move at their own pace and trust to Goddess has it handled. Much much later discovered how many people were going too fast out of ego and getting badly overloaded. Greedy people abusing my generosity and harming themselves!

  Every lesson energy is coded to trigger some related karma in you to come up to be released, going too fast triggers too much. Reviewing each lesson several times helps release it.