I have long been an admirer of Huna Mysticism, it is the work of the traditional Kahuna wise men of Hawaii. Yet, there are good reasons why it is not part of FST, aside from a casual mention in the Holy Trinity lesson. While the practice of Ho'oponopono is incredibly powerful, the focus on finding problems and using forgiveness is not in alignment with FST, which is an ascension path. Forgiveness validates issues of judgement and blame, which really are ego issues I do not feel should be validated, but surrendered.

  Early inspiration: a quote from Richard Bach: "There is no such thing, as a problem, without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems, because your need their gifts."

   Led me to looking at problems in a new way, at how they affected my navigation through life.  Being faced with the potential of being homeless because one by one all avenues of income had closed to me as Goddess boxed me into a corner, led to becoming a ProDom and the re-awakening and unfolding of my shaman abilities.

  Goddess showed me that the key to locating the gift inside the storm cloud wrapping is applying gratitude. Problems turn inside out and show their hidden purpose leads to seeing perfection in what Is, and that is the attitude that leads to seeing perfection of Divine Will in everything- the head space of the ascended state. 

  I think my first encounter may have been the book "Huna" by Max Freedom Long, written in the 30s by a white teacher who modern Kahunas say, was really on the outside looking it and missed the mark. In the early 90s an ad in a free New Age paper offered a free book by Tad James, "Time line therapy." Wow clever marketing, I sent for the book and enjoyed it and so when a few months later it was followed by an announcement that the author would be in town doing weekend intensives, I went!

  Tad James is the first white guy to attain the rank of Kahuna, and was also an NLP guy. NLP is also powerful stuff but again, very little of it found its way into FST because of copyrights, but mostly because it is free will based magic. The bits that I do borrow are modified to fit a path of Surrender. I also did an additional workshop he offered on Ho'oponopono, the process of cleansing through love and forgiveness... but used it much less.

  I made much use of the aspect of Time line therapy that used time travel to resolve issues of the past- in FST a simpler more elegant approach "Goddess please take this, in top down fashion from point of origin, thank you."  The parts that projected desires into the future time line I avoided because it is not surrender: my future belongs to Goddess.

  Love is a quantum energy, it transforms and transcends space and time. Gratitude is the second most powerful energy, because it is the polar opposite of resistance. Sometimes reality can seem to conflict with ideals.

   In the fall of 2012 all my parents children returned to the home town to move my parents from their sprawling country home with its ample evidence of depression era hoarding (never throw out anything that might be useful some day)  to a much smaller city home because Dad's eyesight was failing and he had lost his drivers licence.  I thought I had laid most of complex post traumatic stress to rest, with my shaman graduation ritual in 1997, when my old self married Death and the new self was Nothing. She took most of the old pain and rage with her. When the new self got bored of that, I took another look at what had originally been a work of fiction, decided it was a cool gig and so the art made by the old self "Mystress Angelique Serpent" the idealized Mystic Mistress of my first web site, became the new me. 

   cPTSD is considered a developmental disorder because it affects how the young brain grows, wired for stress responses its partly physical, and those parts remained but the pain and rage had been set aside.

  The move invoked too many memories, and my stubborn family projecting their expectations of my old self, calling me by my old name was an overload of triggers. It brought her back and it took me months to even realize it, and by then the physical damage of stress had done its work, This sensitive body, refined to adapt to being ascended took some bad hits from being dumped into Hell.  Uterine fibroids are a stress response and they grew huge. They bleed more than iron supplements can replenish and so for the past 4 years I have been so anaemic my blood iron levels are not measurable and its slowly getting worse. Ideals and reality- the part of me that holds this craziness, says "Fuck Gratitude, give me Justice!" and there is no persuading her out of the victimhood when the crazy has taken hold. Well, I asked for insights into resolution for my book and here I am, neck deep in it. A friend used to say, "Bite wood, tread water." a parody on the zen phrase.
   
  There is a story by Joe Vitale I encountered on the web years ago, http://www.mrfire.com/article-archives/new-articles/worlds-most-unusual-therapist.html  that has been an inspiration to give me courage when my work mentoring shamans led me to being faced with an imperative to resolve some serious mental illnesses in them.

  I consider myself a spiritual teacher and preferred to refer serious mental illness to the licenced professionals.  The story made me reconsider if the impossible, incurable, could be possible. Led me to discovering some interesting roots to narcissistic personality disorder, and a DIY resolution to the regular sort of PTSD thats inspired me to write a book. cPTSD though... is a different animal. Same process, only makes a small dent in the deeply programmed reactions hardwired during a childhood so painful that my happiest memories are of being by myself, in nature.

  The inspiration was a story of a psychiatrist and Kahuna who agreed to come work for the Hawaii state hospital ward for the dangerous criminally insane. He never met a patient, he just reviewed their records and did his Ho'oponopono process. In a few years, the ward closed because all the patients had been cured and released. 

   Was clear to me I needed help from a specialist, and if he could do all that then maybe he can help one little witch get out of a stuck place.   Was not hard to track down a name, Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len and from there a school he founded to teach his methods, http://www.self-i-dentity-through-hooponopono.com/

  From there a timely surprise: one of his accredited teachers was hosting a Self I-dentity workshop the following weekend.  So I went, with hub. Set my own magic aside to be open to what was offered. Part of signing up for the workshop is that your name goes on a list that is passed to Dr. Hew Len and he and his associates work on you every mon-friday, "cleaning on someone" they call it.

  Some of the language used is a bit confusing , because the actual work is an inward process of 100% responsibility that is in alignment with FST: change the world by changing inside of yourself. Asking forgiveness and applying gratitude to the part of yourself that created the problem you see in another, because all that you see is your self reflected, the "I" of the Self I-dentity. The part of you that is Divine did it and can fix it. This connection is imagined as a playful inner child that you must nurture, pack a bag for it every day in your mind, like caring for a toddler. I heard a child voice in my mind laughing at the idea it would need that, and druid asked if his inner self could be a puppy instead because he didn't find joy in the idea of parenthood.  A large part of the first day was spent reading aloud from the workbook provided, as a group which bought back memories of elementary school. The purpose was actually to train the wise toddler aspect of the subconscious mind to do the process, autopilot. 

  I am feeling more at peace, which is a profound relief. How much of it is due to my own efforts using the process and how much is those who are experts on it, working on me is impossible to know but I am inclined to believe more of the latter.  It feels a bit like I visited a different universe to seek healing that was not available to me, where I was at... help going home.

  The thing that still gives me pause, is the same as what excluded Ho'oponopono from FST initially: What you focus on, will grow. The more you focus on looking for problems, the more problems you will find, and so you are lost in the hall of mirrors unable to break out and see that there are no problems, All is Divine Will.  On that level it is a trap of the power chakra.

   There is a video of Dr. Hew Len http://www.self-i-dentity-through-hooponopono.com/videos.htmtelling how he does not teach the process himself anymore, he just does the cleaning all the time.  I felt sad for him, wanted him to get past it and ascend to seeing perfection, he has earned the peace of it.  Always unworthy, because there are always more problems to clean up.  (He would say, clean on that idea.)

    There is a story on the website http://ho-oponopono-explained.com/tag/dr-hew-len/  of how he has promised himself a giant hot fudge sundae, big enough to make him sick, if he can ever get through the day without making a single judgement. He made the promise a decade ago and still did not get to eat the sundae. Feels like kind of a scarcity to it. A Self judgment, every day passes and still unworthy.

  Old man, life is too short, ascend already and eat the damn sundae!! 

I turn away to Byron Katie, http://thework.com/en,  a way more relaxed attitude. To judge, is human, there is no escaping it... just remember that all the judgments are really about you, and turn them around to examine that.   Mirror of All that Is, very Zen approach.

Accept you are human, and enjoy hot fudge!

  The boddhisattva vow and Shaman imperative. Always thought the vow is a dumb idea. Really, you ascend to seeing perfection, Buddha nature in All things and then crash back to thinking it all needs to be "saved." Well, ideals and reality:  Shamanic imperative, is a karma vampire, a need to snack on somebody's karma at least every few days or my own system gets out of balance.  I think of ascension as home= non duality where karma does not exist, and duality as where the work is at. My commute is between dimensions lol. 

   The tugs of the imperative seldom affect me, as the Shakti energy has its way and I am just the vessel. The energy of my art and websites is the "trigger and snack" and its mostly handled autopilot. The imperative has other forms, such as a deep need to always be learning and growing, and that too happens in duality.

  In summation, I would say that for those students who are struggling with some issues related to mental illness and disability, the Self I-dentity process is worth investigating.  Issues of boundaries, projections, victimhood that persist, sometimes you need to deal with it, where it lives and on that level, victimhood is comforted in forgiveness.

  It is a tool, not an end in itself. At some point, the power chakra issues must become resolved enough to allow  Kundalini rise up past them, past issues of looking for problems, into a higher chakra perspective of looking for Goddess perfection in All that Is. Look for problems, and you will keep finding them because thoughts are creative... but for some problems that feel so inescapable, it is useful. Apply it, but do not get so lost in that universe that you lose sight of a higher goal.

 

 

I'll be attending SITH ho'oponopono class in two weeks. I've always struggled with the idea of suffering for suffering's sake, especially in dogmatic religions and now, especially in spiritual pursuits.

I understand and feel the ho'oponopono method is useful.

But I, too, suffer from C-PTSD (Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD; also known as complex trauma), having grown up in a family that never supported my soul. I supposed I chose this life, this family, this trauma because of Karma, or because of Source needing to 'learn'.

In either case, freeing myself from past traumas and forgiving has been a difficult task. This searching has brought me on this path and hence my goal to awake Kundalini and unite with Goddess once and for all.

My concern (and what makes me uncomfortable) with ho'oponopono  is "when does it end?" Do I live life like a flagellant always punishing myself by sitting a room 'cleaning' all day. Overall, it doesn't seem balanced.

I plan on attending the course in order to use the techniques to evolve. However, I don't think it is the full/complete answer - or the end all be all.

My concern (and what makes me uncomfortable) with ho'oponopono  is "when does it end?" Do I live life like a flagellant always punishing myself by sitting a room 'cleaning' all day. Overall, it doesn't seem balanced.

  Yeah, it doesn't end. The hero trip is addictive, a power chakra trap stuck in duality. You end up an old man sitting in a chair fixing problems all day long and not allowed a hot fudge sundae.

  Ascension path:  while in duality we work with duality, clearing karma. As we get purified and the vibration rises, we move toward non-duality and are drawn instead to look for perfection in what Is. Goddess Will revealed. Natural transition of focus as Kundalini works its way up, opening and reopening chakras.

  Joe Vitale wrote another book (out of embarrassment?) when he discovered Hew Len's story of working in the mental hospital is not true. Then he wrote another book about Ho'oponopono without Hew Len.

  For me, what matters about the mental hospital story is how it inspired me to work on some grievous mental illness in others, that I had previously considered exclusively the realm of psychiatry. Some amazing work came from that including the book I am writing about resolving PTSD. Works great on the regular kind, but cPTSD is considered a developmental disorder.   

  In 2009 I was in hospital after getting surgery to remove a benign growth in my head that took the hearing and balance in my left ear. I expected post-op to be really awful but did not anticipate the effects of post op morphine. Wheeeeeee! no pain, happy and quite stupid. I bought a little handheld electronic solitaire game and kept losing over and over where I normally win 3/4 of the time, and laughing at myself like being incredibly dumb was the funniest thing.  A few times I went too long between doses and discovered how bad I really felt, oy...

  As my 4 day stay at the hospital drew to an end I found myself quite interested, and conflicted about whether I would be getting morphine to take home. Witnessing myself at the doorstep of addiction. Got handed a prescription for tylenol 3 with codeine, felt relieved and thanked Goddess like I dodged a bullet, while the little part of me that wanted more morphine went off to sulk and soon faded away.

  Ho'oponopono is like post-op morphine, in that sometimes it is the right medicine for the situation and it helped my cPTSD,  but its also dangerously addictive and can make you stupid and take over your life.