Dear All,

I am lesson 4 and now I just have recognized, that I do not know who or what I am and I do not find out the Mission of my beeing. I have been seeking now for such a long time (14 years) and it feels like I am on the same point 14 years ago, when I started to change my negativity in life into something positively. Somehow it changed, but on some point I am still there where I do not know who or what holds me back to just step out and start living the way of goddess.

I thought maybe I am shamanic, but I lost the feeling a few weeks before. So how can I find out my real mission and myself in a way that I just know goddess will? I just feel as if I am not allowed to be happy, because there is always a lot of sadness deep inside of me.

Thank you for listening
Nadja

Hi Nadja, thank you for your question,

I think the first thing we could get rid of, would be the idea that mind knowing who you are would make you happy. Surely you did manage to be happy or unhappy just fine without that. It is a tricky move. There is a difference between being who you are and your mind having a somewhat limited opinion about that.
So if you had two choices being happy or  knowing who you are what would you chose?
In fact the choice would be between bliss of reality.. and somewhat lukewarm titillation of a ego mind being satisfied whit some reasonably awesome idea of yourself, or even whit something less awesome. All just mind stuff. It is a reflection of moon on water..or an beautiful image of an apple that has one problem, you cant really eat it.
And it is better to eat when hungry then to think for a day who exactly is hungry. So it is better to feel well, then to search for some answer so you can finally love your self and allow yourself to feel well.
So that is why in this course body is much valued for its wisdom. Body knows without words, who you are all the time. And so by respecting it and getting better attuned to it, you will join that beeingness and that knowing. But really without much words. So mind wont be satisfied again.
But weirdly there is a bliss present in being who you are. So than it seems mind is not so bothered by that not knowing so much.

Love,
Duu

Dear Duu,

thank you so much for your beautiful reply. I just often have the problem to feel myself, there is some mechanism within me, that keeps me from being inside the Body. Maybe my Ego is still too big. But I can´t stop thinking about me - mostly in a way that shrinks myself. I also have Problems to do the grounding exercise from the pelvis down to the middle of mother earth.

I hope I am able to find out during the lessons and solve the blockade.

Blessings
Nadja

  Such detachment is typically the outcome of
  1. Trauma.
  2. karma pollution.
  3. Birth injury.

  All can be overcome.

   Duu responded elegantly.

  Ego thinking it knows your purpose is a hazardous thing, it gets inventive and its storytelling can pull you far off your path, out of the moment.

  Simpler is Joseph Campbell "Follow your bliss." in FST it translates to "Follow your discernment." Body knows the purpose, its signals of bliss and fulfillment are the guide. Stay in the moment, here and now you are on the road to becoming closer to Goddess.

Dear Mystress,

thank you so much. I was reading your answer here after I replied to the other posting. So now I am a little closer to the truth. ;-) I felt the Trauma my whole life, but I still do not know it what it is all about. Best wishes. Nadja