I've realized why I've been having such problems with social interactions, where spirits etc might be present in the astral. I have post traumatic stress from an incident which happened maybe 5 years ago, where I was visiting my mother, and going to sleep in the guest bedroom. There was suddenly a spirit agressively forcing itself into my physical/astral body. Suddenly I found myself in my grandmothers house, trying to get my grandmother to see me, but I'm not sure she did. She closed and locked the door as I was trying to get in (It might have been my dead grandfathers spirit) I ended up in a sleep paralysis because of my own discomfort/struggle with it, I tried to move and get away from the bed, but couldn't, so I ended up out in the astral myself, on my way to open the door to get help from my mother, but then her boyfriend opened the door and walked right through half my body! I then fainted back into my body... As I came to myself again, I got up and my mothers boyfriend was sitting in the living room in the same clothes I saw him walking out in. I just sort of forgot and maybe repressed the memories. I realize now that's why I have been feeling kind of weak on the left side of my body where the spirit entered. I have gotten post traumatic stress reactions from that incident without realizing it! And I don't really know how to re-set the boundary on the astral. Suggestions for healing are highly welcome! Surrendering this to Goddess...

I was also told recently by a shaman healer that I have my half uncle with me, who's been unable or unwilling to go into the light. It is unknown to me if this is true, that maybe my grandfather had another child. Haven't talked to her about this, my father and grandmother is very resistant to the idea of life after death. I also want to say that I do not blame the spirit, I know it can be hard to die etc and if they can't get a message across to the one's it concerns, they try to go to others who can help etc, but I'm trying to heal my own scars from the trauma of it to my body. The shaman healer also said that it's so easy for them to plug on to my energy because I'm like an open channel. I now know why, but I really want to heal this. And close the door on spirits on the astral, so they don't come through to my physical/astral self/body. I don't have anything against spirits either, it's just that if they get too close to me, I freak out and go into the post trauma again. Goddess this is for you! A gift, thank you very much.

It's either feeling the post trauma, or I get kicked into the witness, observing it taking place, without knowing how to stop it...