Does anyone have any 2 cents to pitch in on this?  One of those things that came to mind that I just felt like posting.  Been having a lot of stuff that isn't good pop up lately (problems at work etc) and really having a difficult time "letting events unfold" when all thats unfolding is drama and bs.  Some people seem to be really skilled at saying whatever and pushing through things

Hi,
Just keep well grounded and check for overload regulary.

You can aplly thankfulness for he fact that you cant control things.
I mean imagine what would hapen If you could.
Imagine if you would have full power and all in the universe would be controled by you.
That would be actualy a very boring and a very lonely life in a way.
And on the top of that it would be very unsatisfactory.
Control and fullfilment are not conected as one thinks.

What one realy wants to achive by control actualy is happiness,
fullfilment, love. But strangely we dont realize that control will not bring us those things.
So strugling to achive, keeping fullfilment by attempt to control world is achiving the oposite, it increases the fear,
the separation and inner conflict.

We dont realize that our deep need for love is behind all of that. Only we aproach it in a way that in the end feeds the ego.
Desire to keep the good things will indeed feed fear and thus actualy finaly prevent ever being satisfied and at peace.

So its like being in love, one realy has so litle control over onself, that is a bit scary and that is also what makes it so precious.
And you never know what next day might bring but you wish for nothing else, love is truly bitter-sweet sometimes.
love,
Duu

Thanks Duu, your replies always bring a feeling of peace.  I think the main issue with control that I have is worrying about running into people from the past, my life growing up was not good to say the least and I feel like I need a new lease on life which to me is moving far away.  I don't see the means to do it though,  family has the money but will not help.  How do you get where you need to be when there is no way to do it?

Heh, very easy.

you ARE exactly where you need to be. When you have understood and learned what has to be learned from this situation, including why you are there, then you will know how not to be there.

Everything is perfecty tailored to you - almost like a mirror.

Some great Indians Mahasiddas of the past were absolutely delighted when problems where arising, as this would allow them to test their skills and give them an opportunity to improve.

I assume that many people on this forum had difficult moments in their lives and I am also very sure that many saw ther situations evolve to the good by practicing.

You change things by changing you mind and energy. But this alone is not enough, you will have to act on the material level and make sure that you are able to earn your living. The tantric path has never been a path retired from the world. It embraces the mundane and elevates it to the highest levels.

Good luck to you. You have all there is needed. Courage!

Hi,

Astoe thank you for a beautifull answer. I think somehow I wrote the things in a similar meaning

Generally there two problems I see:  being where you dont want to be and being unhappy about.
The first thing takes time to resolve so thats why I rather focused advice before on solving the second challenge.

Being where you are was created by your karma. Ie. Past decisions and actions. That are present in the now as emotional blockages.
So you are not where you are by accident. And you have a chance to realize what past actions or emotional decisions did you make that they did get you where you are now. And release them, know them.

Or wherever else you go you just recreate the same condition of your life.
So sometimes we need to think and meditate on the the past, and clear our karma there or we are doomed to repeat it. But you are doing grounding and all. So your external life will improve, adjusts to new harmony on inside, that is sure.
So if you spent decades to create the situation you are in, and reinforcing current ego structures, allow few months of focused work to change it. And in the time try to be sort of optimistic about it.

For now what is, is. Completely just, completely perfect. But a weird thing is, you can chose to be happy or unhappy about it.  And you are on the way to change offcourse, no matter of the feelings. But in the time you wait for external improovement ask, why to be unhappy? Why the stress? Who is benefiting from my resistance and unhappiness?

But also I feel you are trying to find somebody to blame for your situation. However this approach will not really work as it actually prevents a lasting solution. If it is the case look into this and apply forgiveness and really find why you are where you are. You made choices. And you can change the choices (karma) but you have to find them first and for that it is best to stop all the avoidance strategies. Scape goats are an old strategy. They ease the insecurity and pain of the need to evolve. So we can just let things be as they are and not face the truth.

Love,
Duu

 Moved to share a glimpse of shaman training.

  I am not sure how much of it will be comprehensible, as probably 75% of the conversation is telepathic or empathic, energy based, and some of it is with spirits who don't type A significant portion of the information, isn't shared in words. I have edited a little for clarity and added a few comments
***(comment)

   I can communicate with his guide and see into his visions so we use a sort of verbal shorthand that even other shamans cannot always follow.  I left the time stamp in, because although you can read it quickly it covers a few hours of conversation, I cut some irrelevant stuff but also there are silences where he is processing and I am watching him. Physically we are on opposite sides of the contient and have not met.

  Aside from the sort of laser tone of the chat, the other thing that is different is that FST is, very deliberately, *not* healer training. Only self healing. Most people who want to be healers are on an ego based hero trip and no longer want it once that phase has passed, but if encouraged they can get stuck in it.

  With Shamans it is often the opposite, an absolute imperative to do a certain amount of healing every few days or our own energy gets out of whack. So the healer training work is intertwined with the personal growth. Opportunities present themselves, plus as you can see I give him some stuff to do, but he is still a new shaman and finding his feet.
 
  Reading this you will probably wish he would work on you too! However I am ferociously protective of him and guard him against taking on too much. Magic uses a ton of calories (ask your discernment, I often burn about 5000 calories in a 3 hour FST chat) and hes severely hypoglycemic, hes still adjusting and getting it wrong kills brain cells and can take days to recover from, for both of us because of how we are linked.

  Requests for his aid must come through me and if you attempt to connect to him in spirit or im without prior consent, you will find me there asking what do you think you are doing? I am grooming him for professional session work but it will be remote work only, no direct contact but his forwarded report afterwards. he is a genuine dreamwalker, and an invisible lineage member.

  We are talking about Shamans Shadow Guide, anger and insanity, but I share it because its not so different than Divine Beloved, emotions and ego. Divine Beloved plays hide and seek sometimes, where the Guide is a goad and gets in your face.
  Read it slowly and you can ask your own Divine Beloved or discernment all the same questions.

  I am moved to give an overload warning. The intensity and density of energy of information is probably about a month of FST lessons for some people. Pace yourself, is ok to close the window after a few paragraphs and come back to it another day.

Monday
[03:58:49 AM]  dreamwalker: how was camping?
[03:59:03 AM]  Mystress: fun but exhausting
[03:59:10 AM]  dreamwalker: i can imagine
[04:00:16 AM]  Mystress: I think I got way too cold in my sleep
[04:01:46 AM]  Mystress: druid said he woke up because I was coughing in my sleep and turned the heater up
  **(I cough uncontrollably if my body temp drops even a little bit)
[04:06:26 AM]  Mystress: diarrhea this morning
[04:06:56 AM]  Mystress: I think I took on too much stuff from e. teaching her to cleanse herself
[04:07:32 AM]  dreamwalker: ok will work on you
[04:07:50 AM]  Mystress: thanks... easy 3rd party stuff for you but wow I hurt yesterday
[04:07:57 AM]  Mystress: a cold night can really wreck me
[04:08:10 AM]  dreamwalker: yes
[04:08:25 AM]  Mystress: so cold for june

[04:12:03 AM]  Mystress: she said she always wanted a sister, I said she is way cooler than my rl sisters
[04:12:13 AM]  dreamwalker:
[04:12:16 AM]  Mystress: she learned the karma cleansing really quick
[04:12:23 AM]  Mystress: but was so muddy wow
[04:12:48 AM]  dreamwalker: well i have been working on her liver and cleansing her blood
[04:12:56 AM]  Mystress: thank you
[04:13:02 AM]  Mystress: did you work on her hip?
[04:13:07 AM]  dreamwalker: oh that stuff is easy
[04:13:09 AM]  dreamwalker:
[04:13:13 AM]  Mystress: she reported big improvement
[04:13:24 AM]  dreamwalker: yes worked on her all in all
[04:13:39 AM]  dreamwalker: did some fascia cleaning webbing and stuff
[04:13:44 AM]  Mystress: she sends many thanks for the decrease of pain
[04:14:04 AM]  Mystress: docs wanted to do a hip replacement on her
[04:14:29 AM]  dreamwalker: really did not see any real damage
[04:14:46 AM]  dreamwalker: but i just did a scan
[04:15:13 AM]  Mystress: I also offered you to work on her husband... hes definitely not sane and getting hard to live with
[04:15:31 AM]  dreamwalker: sure
[04:15:36 AM]  dreamwalker: good with the crazies
[04:15:38 AM]  dreamwalker:
[04:15:47 AM]  dreamwalker: takes one to know one
[04:15:48 AM]  dreamwalker: lol
[04:15:55 AM]  Mystress: yes told her that about you
[04:16:56 AM]  Mystress: I am still carrying quite much of her stuff eh?
[04:17:03 AM]  dreamwalker: yes
[04:17:52 AM]  Mystress: shes a very cool person
[04:18:26 AM]  Mystress: last time we saw each other was ... 98? maybe?
[04:18:53 AM]  dreamwalker: wow
[04:20:09 AM]  Mystress: she is a uni professor in orgeon, student's projections...



[04:44:08 AM]  Mystress: I am sorry I didn't teach you more before about external emotions incoming.
[04:44:39 AM]  Mystress: ask your Guide, on an average day, what % of emotions I feel are actually my own?
[04:44:47 AM]  dreamwalker: ok

[04:46:18 AM]  Mystress: you dont believe the result?
[04:46:35 AM]  Mystress: what did you get?
[04:46:55 AM]  dreamwalker: very small about 10 percent
[04:47:04 AM]  Mystress: nods.. or less
[04:58:39 AM]  Mystress: ask your Guide what % of emotions you feel every day are really your own?
[04:59:15 AM]  dreamwalker: about 20 percent or less
[04:59:36 AM]  Mystress: ask if you can tell which 20% is yours?
[05:00:08 AM]  dreamwalker: she said no i cannot
[05:00:52 AM]  Mystress: so, we surrender all emotions to avoid having our day hijacked by somebody else's karma bullshit
[05:01:40 AM]  Mystress: ask if that is the key to stability ?
[05:01:55 AM]  dreamwalker: ok
[05:02:04 AM]  Mystress: one of them ... grounding too
[05:03:32 AM]  dreamwalker: she said yes
[05:04:28 AM]  Mystress: ask if surrendering all emotions is a primary reason why I am more stable than you
[05:04:43 AM]  dreamwalker: ok
[05:06:18 AM]  dreamwalker: she said yes that is correct
[05:06:27 AM]  Mystress: did you get a movie with that?
[05:07:18 AM]  dreamwalker: yes
[05:07:52 AM]  Mystress: I think if I had tried to explain this to you 6 months ago you would have gone deep into resistance...
[05:09:19 AM]  Mystress: but backtrack it, ask your Guide what % of emotions were your own on an average day before we met?
[05:09:33 AM]  dreamwalker: ok
[05:11:00 AM]  dreamwalker: percentage was even less of my own thoughts
[05:11:40 AM]  Mystress: keep backtracking, asking every 5-10 years all the way to birth
[05:14:38 AM]  dreamwalker: looks like it got less younger i was
[05:14:51 AM]  Mystress: karma noise biuldup
[05:15:18 AM]  Mystress: do the same but with snapshots of how much other folks energies in you
[05:15:42 AM]  dreamwalker: ok
[05:19:54 AM]  Mystress: see the pattern?
[05:19:58 AM]  dreamwalker: yes
[05:20:01 AM]  Mystress: its the same stuff
[05:20:25 AM]  Mystress: now ask to see how the thought emotion energy karma stuff can coalese into a sock puppet
[05:20:53 AM]  Mystress: or take you over like a possession state
[05:22:32 AM]  dreamwalker: i see how it takes over
[05:23:04 AM]  Mystress: on Sat you asked why you are not more stable yet... it is because you identify with your emotions
[05:23:26 AM]  Mystress: you think they are you and now you can see how seldom that has ever been true
[05:23:44 AM]  dreamwalker: yes do not want to be lobotomized
[05:23:56 AM]  Mystress: well I call it hijacked
[05:24:41 AM]  dreamwalker: well no emotions
[05:24:51 AM]  dreamwalker: means lobotomized
[05:24:52 AM]  Mystress: its not like that
[05:25:10 AM]  Mystress: ask your Guide is love really an emotion?
[05:25:27 AM]  dreamwalker: ok
[05:26:18 AM]  dreamwalker: no not really
[05:26:27 AM]  dreamwalker: more of an energy
[05:26:30 AM]  Mystress: yes
[05:26:34 AM]  Mystress: what about joy?
[05:26:46 AM]  Mystress: soul spark joy... is it really an emotion?
[05:27:00 AM]  dreamwalker: no
[05:27:26 AM]  Mystress: or compassion? When Goddess moves you to help someone and you don't even stop to think yes or no?
[05:27:59 AM]  dreamwalker: no
[05:28:04 AM]  Mystress:
[05:28:05 AM]  dreamwalker: i do not
[05:28:24 AM]  Mystress: is that state of spontaneous compassion, an emotion?
[05:28:39 AM]  dreamwalker: no
[05:28:44 AM]  Mystress: its transparency
[05:28:51 AM]  Mystress: how does transparency feel?
[05:29:09 AM]  Mystress: blissful?
[05:29:23 AM]  Mystress: right, purposeful, fulfilling..
[05:29:23 AM]  dreamwalker: yes
[05:30:01 AM]  Mystress: is it emotion ?
[05:30:13 AM]  dreamwalker: no
[05:30:21 AM]  Mystress: what is it?
[05:30:52 AM]  Mystress: it is the dharma?
[05:31:12 AM]  Mystress: being a buddha, following right action ...
[05:31:55 AM]  Mystress: there are emotions connected to it, but they come from a different place
[05:32:09 AM]  Mystress: is peace an emotion?
[05:32:32 AM]  dreamwalker: no
[05:32:48 AM]  dreamwalker: it is an even flow of energy
[05:32:58 AM]  Mystress:
[05:33:31 AM]  Mystress: so if you let go of all emotions, what is left is love, joy, peace, fulfillment of dharma, bliss...
[05:33:38 AM]  Mystress:
[05:33:46 AM]  Mystress: does that sound like a lobotomy?
[05:33:54 AM]  dreamwalker: no
[05:35:14 AM]  Mystress: so your true nature really has nothing to do with your emotions?
[05:35:34 AM]  dreamwalker: no it does not
[05:36:09 AM]  Mystress: when you think the emotions that you feel, are who you are, what happens?
[05:36:49 AM]  dreamwalker: they affect behavior
[05:36:54 AM]  Mystress: how?
[05:37:35 AM]  dreamwalker: digs me a hole
[05:37:36 AM]  Mystress: hey mister gravedigger
  **(obscure reference, its a bowie song title)
[05:40:28 AM]  Mystress: you are not your emotions. They come and go, you remain.
[05:40:49 AM]  Mystress: the sooner they go the more of you there is, expeirencing your life.
[05:41:34 AM]  Mystress: and most of the time, wtf they aren't even your own anyway, chuck them all as soon as they come in and be at peace.
[05:42:14 AM]  Mystress: feels you smiling
[05:42:23 AM]  dreamwalker: yes
[05:42:32 AM]  Mystress: hugs you close
[05:43:49 AM]  dreamwalker: hugs you
[05:45:30 AM]  Mystress: I am your mentor and example, so ask to get a backtrack movie of me, how I am emotionally... with my emotions
[05:45:47 AM]  dreamwalker: ok
[05:46:40 AM]  Mystress: and even more specifically how I am possessed by emotions at times
[05:47:22 AM]  Mystress: like when hurt by your passive aggression, it doesnt really go until I get you to face the shadow stuff, anad it is healed in you.. it has motivating purpose
[05:48:11 AM]  dreamwalker: ok
[05:49:33 AM]  Mystress: aiming it at me is sort of a way of handing it to me but you have to be aware to let it go before I can really release it from myself... it has healing purpose and cannot be easily surrendered from me without your consent I mean, if its number has come up...  until its purpose is done.
[05:50:00 AM]  Mystress: ... have to integrate shadow
[05:50:39 AM]  Mystress: wolf grabs me
[05:51:17 AM]  Mystress: for the most part, other stuff I cannot stay angry or... upset, whatever... it is bad for me and gets chased out asap
[05:51:32 AM]  Mystress: so i can come back to myself
[05:51:52 AM]  Mystress: my nature, love peace and joy
[05:51:56 AM]  Mystress: bliss
[05:52:47 AM]  Mystress: tell me what you see?
[05:53:48 AM]  dreamwalker: well i see how holding onto it complicates the possession state
[05:54:00 AM]  dreamwalker: my resistance
[05:54:53 AM]  Mystress: do you see how I do not identify with my emotions except when possessed by karma?
[05:55:19 AM]  dreamwalker: yes most of the other stuff just goes away
[05:55:56 AM]  Mystress: to sift out the < 10% that are actually mine is impossible really, except after surrendering them sometimes
[05:56:34 AM]  Mystress: for a long time I did a shortcut and just assumed none of the emotions moving through me were mine
[05:57:01 AM]  Mystress: in a way it is true, who I really am has nothing to do with emotions
[05:57:13 AM]  Mystress: love peace bliss joy compassion
[05:57:55 AM]  Mystress: chuck all the emotions... be with Goddess
[05:58:11 AM]  Mystress: feels you smiling again
[05:58:23 AM]  dreamwalker:
[05:58:58 AM]  Mystress: not a lobotomy to be without emotions, is big big blessing
[06:00:23 AM]  Mystress: we can mess with emotions, shifting changing them, transforming them in healing work like silly putty
[06:00:49 AM]  Mystress: think of how you were with j... eat the agro for your own comfort
[06:01:32 AM]  Mystress: so you dont have to listen to him spewing...
[06:01:49 AM]  Mystress: it shows you that emotions, are just this stuff, you know?
[06:02:08 AM]  Mystress: pull bend stretch make cartoon prints..
[06:02:37 AM]  Mystress: emotions are clay in our hands
[06:02:45 AM]  Mystress: they are not who we are
[06:04:13 AM]  Mystress: you have seen me very upset and very lucid at the same time?
[06:04:31 AM]  dreamwalker: yes i have
[06:05:06 AM]  Mystress: ask your Guide to show the sort of.. dis-identification with the emotions of the body that makes it possible?
[06:05:24 AM]  dreamwalker: ok
[06:07:05 AM]  Mystress: I think it is like how you are with pain
[06:07:41 AM]  dreamwalker: yes it is kind of an ignore and deflection
[06:07:47 AM]  Mystress: pain has to be quite bad before it affects your mood
[06:07:49 AM]  Mystress: yes
[06:08:21 AM]  Mystress: the body is having a meltdown, the mind is aware of the body having a meltdown... but it abides with Goddess
[06:08:44 AM]  Mystress: and knows emotions come and go... emotional release is beneficial
[06:09:24 AM]  Mystress: I have said sometimes, in the middle of a meltdown that it is just emotional release?
[06:09:46 AM]  dreamwalker: yes
[06:10:35 AM]  Mystress: lucid
[06:12:26 AM]  Mystress: you said you always carry silly putty... emotions are silly putty
[06:12:48 AM]  Mystress: useful stuff at times but it isn't supposed to rule your life.
[06:12:56 AM]  Mystress: Goddess does that.
[06:13:37 AM]  Mystress: think of the mind state of eating j's agro
[06:14:00 AM]  Mystress: detachment
[06:14:08 AM]  Mystress: from his arrrgh
[06:14:25 AM]  Mystress: now think of doing the same with your own anger
[06:14:56 AM]  dreamwalker: ok
[06:15:01 AM]  Mystress: treating it like it belongs to someone else and is just in you for processing
[06:15:30 AM]  Mystress: and processing it with the same amused detachment, silly putty toy stuff
[06:16:04 AM]  Mystress: sees parts of your head light up... 
[06:16:16 AM]  dreamwalker: yes
[06:16:40 AM]  Mystress: and guess what, 80% of the time, that is exactly what it is!
[06:17:10 AM]  Mystress: useless to take it personally
[06:18:35 AM]  dreamwalker: yes i take almost all of it personally
[06:18:58 AM]  Mystress: yes that is why you get unstable. This is the answer to your saturday question.
[06:20:32 AM]  Mystress: twinge in my gut to any emotion, thought, word or deed and I am surrendering it
[06:20:51 AM]  Mystress: nip it at first warning before it grows a monster
[06:21:08 AM]  Mystress: and takes me over and fucks up my life
[06:21:42 AM]  Mystress: like with you and eating, first sign of hunger no waiting or it is too late **(his hypoglycemic rages)
[06:22:30 AM]  Mystress: you see it?
[06:22:35 AM]  dreamwalker: yes i do
[06:23:31 AM]  Mystress: and it is the same for you and incoming emotions
[06:23:50 AM]  Mystress: process them all like they belong to somebody else
[06:23:55 AM]  Mystress: they mostly do anyway
[06:24:12 AM]  Mystress: and even your own emotions, are not who you are.. they are just karma releasing
[06:24:21 AM]  Mystress: just silly putty stuff
[06:24:45 AM]  Mystress: pull it out, bend it stretch it, give it to faeries
[06:25:05 AM]  Mystress: don't take it seriously
[06:25:43 AM]  Mystress: you have spent enough time healing others, playing silly putty with their emotions, pull it out, change it take a new print... your own are no different
[06:26:09 AM]  dreamwalker: ok
[06:26:15 AM]  Mystress: you see it?
[06:26:26 AM]  dreamwalker: yes i see it
[06:26:30 AM]  Mystress:
[06:26:55 AM]  Mystress: ask your Guide if there are mods for your mind to help with this?
[06:28:07 AM]  dreamwalker: she said yes
[06:28:51 AM]  Mystress: or any adjustments she can make to assist you with getting the knack of surrendering all incoming emotions promptly
[06:30:02 AM]  Mystress: tell her to do what she wants to help you learn it
[06:30:17 AM]  dreamwalker: ok telling her
[06:30:48 AM]  Mystress: always good to give the guide permission as wide as possible so they have elbow room to do their best
[06:31:22 AM]  Mystress: previously you have felt you lost 40 years to crazy
[06:32:13 AM]  Mystress: but the retrospective shows you really spent 40 years getting hijacked by incoming stuff because you didn't know it was not you or how to deal
[06:33:13 AM]  Mystress: Now you know.
[06:33:21 AM]  dreamwalker:
[06:33:51 AM]  Mystress: I am fueled by a certain arrogance... my body is a temple not a trash can for other peoples shit.
[06:34:15 AM]  Mystress: I keep the temple clean.
[06:34:57 AM]  Mystress: people are going to bring shit into a temple, is part of what it is for eh? Go to church to pray when you are worried...
[06:35:21 AM]  dreamwalker: nods
[06:35:46 AM]  Mystress: and as caretaker of the body, is your job to keep the place clean
[06:36:09 AM]  Mystress: and not bitch too much at visitors with muddy feet
[06:36:37 AM]  Mystress: they are there to experience compassion
[06:37:36 AM]  Mystress: your head is shifting as I explain it eh?
[06:38:03 AM]  dreamwalker: yes
[06:38:05 AM]  Mystress: apply your experience and knowledge of emotional healing, to yourself, first, in every moment.
[06:38:37 AM]  Mystress: take the stone from your own eye to see clear to help others
[06:39:03 AM]  Mystress: you can do this
[06:39:50 AM]  Mystress: is there any difference really between the stuff of your own anger or j's ?
[06:40:06 AM]  dreamwalker: no not really
[06:40:21 AM]  Mystress: any reason not to treat it the same?
[06:41:11 AM]  dreamwalker: no
[06:41:20 AM]  Mystress: breathes deep
[06:41:30 AM]  Mystress: let that sink into your bones


[07:10:13 AM]  Mystress: do you have any questions about the emotional surrender stuff?
[07:10:51 AM]  dreamwalker: no not really
[07:11:15 AM]  dreamwalker: i never really saw it that way
[07:11:29 AM]  Mystress: how do you mean?
[07:11:55 AM]  dreamwalker: well i did not see emotion as that
[07:12:06 AM]  dreamwalker: did not see it as energy
[07:12:56 AM]  Mystress: but you have been healing people manipulating it as energy since we first taught you karma vamp. ***(we = me and the guides)
[07:13:03 AM]  Mystress: and surrender
[07:13:35 AM]  dreamwalker: yes
[07:13:57 AM]  Mystress: curious blind spot...
[07:14:28 AM]  dreamwalker: did not see my own emotions in that way was working on others
[07:15:28 AM]  Mystress: its the same if you can avoid being hijacked
[07:16:13 AM]  Mystress: and that is about chucking stuff right away as soon as you get the first whisper
[07:16:43 AM]  Mystress: you have to be on it... but its a simple as 'hey Guide... this for you'...
[07:17:06 AM]  Mystress: Goddess take it.
[07:17:17 AM]  Mystress: less than a second to let go
[07:17:45 AM]  Mystress: you felt before how fast she can clean the mess
[07:17:54 AM]  Mystress: just asking her
[07:17:55 AM]  dreamwalker: yes i did
[07:18:06 AM]  Mystress: so, its no hardship... instant
[07:18:23 AM]  Mystress: but you have to catch it to ask
[07:18:48 AM]  Mystress: and if you ask her she can be more outgoing with pointing out stuff to be released
[07:19:43 AM]  Mystress: just think for a second about losing so many years of your life to emotional mental energy hijackings and its clear
[07:20:08 AM]  Mystress: is motivating eh?
[07:20:49 AM]  dreamwalker: yes it is
[07:23:26 AM]  Mystress: new perspective on the crazy?
[07:24:08 AM]  dreamwalker: yes it does show a different view
[07:24:31 AM]  Mystress: take a good long look
[07:29:09 AM]  Mystress: do you see what I see? a sane shaman plus a big load of emotional garbage
[07:29:29 AM]  dreamwalker: yes that is what i got
[07:30:16 AM]  Mystress: I have said so many times, peel off the damage I know there is a wonderful sane man under it all
[07:31:11 AM]  Mystress: you see that is the real you
[07:31:29 AM]  Mystress: not the crazy you identified with for so long
[07:32:29 AM]  Mystress: thinking it is yours, you, is what made it stick eh?
[07:32:57 AM]  dreamwalker: yes  thinking it was mine was the cause
[07:34:36 AM]  Mystress: if you assume all emotions are not yours and surrender them, you are right most of the time and it doesn't matter if you are wrong

[07:36:47 AM]  Mystress: you stand beside a rushing river, the river fills your senses, sound sight scent mist on your skin
[07:37:21 AM]  Mystress: the river affects you as the water passes by, but you are not the river.
[07:37:53 AM]  Mystress: that is our relationship to emotions
[07:39:38 AM]  Mystress: feel it?
[07:40:19 AM]  dreamwalker: yes i feel it
[07:41:37 AM]  Mystress: try it now... ask your Guide to give you some of the incoming karma emotional stuff and just watch it flow by
[07:42:26 AM]  dreamwalker: ok
[07:44:58 AM]  Mystress: its like the practice of observing the breath isn't it?
[07:45:39 AM]  dreamwalker: yes it is pretty close to that feel yes
[07:46:16 AM]  Mystress: thoughts and emotions arise and pass away... they are not you, only the breath matters... Goddess breathing you, joy of the soul.


[07:49:04 AM]  dreamwalker: sorry i am listening not ignoring you just a lot to take in
[07:49:06 AM]  dreamwalker:
[07:49:11 AM]  Mystress: I know, I am watching
[07:49:18 AM]  Mystress: you are trying it out
[07:52:00 AM]  dreamwalker:
[07:52:10 AM]  Mystress: is good practice
[07:52:47 AM]  Mystress: essential
[07:53:08 AM]  Mystress: its interesting isn't it?
[07:53:41 AM]  dreamwalker: yes it is very interesting
[07:54:15 AM]  Mystress: stand beside the river and watch the angers of the past few weeks flow by and away to the sea
[07:54:37 AM]  Mystress: stay on the bank dont jump in after them
[07:55:03 AM]  dreamwalker: ok
[07:55:46 AM]  Mystress: there is an old chinese expression, "if you sit by the river long enough you will see the bodies of all of your enemies float by."
[07:55:51 AM]  Mystress: anger is your enemy.
[07:56:32 AM]  Mystress: and that is the meaning... letting go karma to the flow
[07:57:53 AM]  Mystress: the emotions look different floating ?
[07:59:00 AM]  dreamwalker: yes
[07:59:19 AM]  Mystress: you can see the lies of anger more clearly when its all wet?
[08:00:12 AM]  Mystress: there is no reason to fish it out
[08:02:47 AM]  Mystress: tell me what you get
[08:03:25 AM]  dreamwalker: it looks like it is better to let it flow if i mess with it it seems to congeal sort of
[08:03:34 AM]  Mystress: exactly
[08:04:16 AM]  Mystress: sit on the bank of a river, meditating, observing the breath and your Guide will be sure the enemies are flowing downstream for ya to wave bye bye
[08:04:41 AM]  Mystress: you can see the spot clearly can't you? the trees around etc... sharp
[08:05:40 AM]  Mystress: sound of the water...
[08:06:28 AM]  dreamwalker: yes i can
[08:06:46 AM]  Mystress: ok snapshot and give your Guide permission to bring you to the river anytime
[08:07:25 AM]  dreamwalker: ok
[08:07:53 AM]  Mystress: ask if she likes it?
[08:09:01 AM]  dreamwalker: yes she does
[08:09:47 AM]  Mystress: learning surrender as a reflex response to emotions may take time, the river image trance will support you by reminding and taking you out of the emotion to instead watch it float by.
[08:10:26 AM]  Mystress: agree to let her do that, support you like that
[08:11:06 AM]  Mystress: the trance can take two seconds insight flash...
[08:11:44 AM]  Mystress: interrupt the hijacking
[08:12:24 AM]  Mystress: give you that extra moment of awareness to surrender before it takes you over
[08:12:33 AM]  Mystress: and you lose days
[08:13:05 AM]  Mystress: or maybe, letting her hijack you instead.. rescue
[08:13:15 AM]  dreamwalker:
[08:13:21 AM]  Mystress: sees her nodding
[08:13:48 AM]  Mystress: you agree to that? is better to be hijacked by your Guide and taken to the river than to lose yourself to emotional noise?
[08:14:23 AM]  Mystress: like you did for decades...
[08:14:26 AM]  Mystress: of crazy
[08:15:11 AM]  dreamwalker: absolutely
[08:15:13 AM]  Mystress: Armand has very wide permissions to save me from myself
[08:15:40 AM]  Mystress: your Guide would not let you harm yourself when you were crazy last week
[08:16:26 AM]  Mystress: you asked why.. I didn't give clear answer to your insane self, but the answer is: not fair for sane guy to have to take the hits for what crazy guy gets up to
[08:17:09 AM]  dreamwalker: nods
[08:17:16 AM]  Mystress: you and I set it up for her to be able to do that and for crazy guy to not get a vote about it
[08:17:49 AM]  Mystress: its good, thank her
[08:20:36 AM]  dreamwalker: i just thanked her
[08:22:37 AM]  Mystress: you see how its really good that Armand doesn't let me get away with anything?
[08:22:45 AM]  Mystress: he's saving me from myself.
[08:24:04 AM]  Mystress: make fun of me with soup nazi impersonations, whatever...  knowledge is better than being hijacked and becoming slave to somebodys karma garbage.
[08:24:27 AM]  Mystress: especially my own lol
[08:24:27 AM]  dreamwalker: yes it sure is
[08:25:34 AM]  Mystress: anger is the enemy and it lies
[08:26:03 AM]  Mystress: that is the one thing you can trust about it, that it always lies.
[08:26:21 AM]  Mystress: does that make sense?
[08:28:47 AM]  dreamwalker: yes that makes sense
[08:29:00 AM]  dreamwalker: totally opposite of how i saw it for years
[08:29:18 AM]  Mystress: yeah anger always feels right when you are hijacked by it
[08:29:28 AM]  Mystress: hostage syndrome
[08:29:34 AM]  Mystress: patty hearst
[08:29:48 AM]  Mystress: ooo
[08:30:03 AM]  Mystress: that sank deep
[08:30:30 AM]  dreamwalker: stockholm syndrome identify with captors
[08:30:41 AM]  Mystress: yeah, anger is ace at it
[08:31:06 AM]  Mystress: unless there is a part of you that stands apart in witness, by the river
[08:31:40 AM]  Mystress: you see it? how it brainwashes you into its hostile agenda?
[08:32:08 AM]  Mystress: its really like that isn't it?
[08:32:16 AM]  Mystress: you believe the lies
[08:33:53 AM]  dreamwalker: yes it is
[08:35:16 AM]  Mystress: do you understand thats why you have such intense and mixed feelings about brainwashing, why you felt like you had been brainwashed at times?
[08:35:30 AM]  Mystress: ask your Guide
[08:35:47 AM]  dreamwalker: ok asking
[08:38:25 AM]  dreamwalker: yes she said that was correct
[08:38:34 AM]  dreamwalker: showed me how it worked
[08:38:44 AM]  dreamwalker: looks like what i described
[08:39:52 AM]  Mystress: no CIA just anger
[08:40:17 AM]  Mystress: possessed by karma garbage
[08:43:20 AM]  Mystress: karma pollution did that, possessed you hijacked you
[08:44:01 AM]  Mystress: years and years of it
[08:44:36 AM]  Mystress: ask your Guide do you get manic at all if your energy is pristine shiny clean?
[08:45:20 AM]  dreamwalker: she said no
[08:45:34 AM]  Mystress: breathe it in, get the movie
[08:48:14 AM]  Mystress: years ago a bipolar woman posted a dream she had, to k list.
[08:49:42 AM]  Mystress: in her dream, everybody had a well. Most people built a fence around their well to protect it but some people had no fence, and others would come take the water and throw garbage into the well... until the well got so full of garbage the water didn't flow, and then the pressure of the water would build up and there would be an explosion like a dam breaking and all the garbage blown out scattered everywhere.
[08:50:19 AM]  Mystress: most exact description of the energy dynamic of bipolar disorder I have ever read.
[08:50:33 AM]  Mystress: The well is source and the garbage is karma and the water is life energy.
[08:51:50 AM]  Mystress: and the people who are bipolar are missing boundaries that others take for granted
[08:51:54 AM]  Mystress: personal boundaries
[08:53:02 AM]  Mystress: the blocked well is the depressive cycle and the explosion is the mania
[08:53:52 AM]  dreamwalker: wow yes that is about it
[08:54:10 AM]  Mystress: yes
[08:54:26 AM]  Mystress: you can see it is what happens in you, suicidal or manic
[08:55:49 AM]  Mystress: so if you keep your energy clean, you are sane... but the lack of boundaries means keeping clean is a full time job and the meds help you balance, avoid some hijacking
[08:56:07 AM]  dreamwalker: yes buildup
[08:56:28 AM]  Mystress: I thought I had told you the story before but maybe it was a puppet
[08:56:52 AM]  Mystress: look back on the whole path of my training you...
[08:57:29 AM]  Mystress: years cleaning out all the crazy and layers of crazy and sock puppets...
[08:58:14 AM]  Mystress: to get you to a place of sane most of the time so you are at choice.. strong enough to avoid being hijacked and understand that is what it is.
[08:58:23 AM]  Mystress: and you have seen the same healing others
[08:58:36 AM]  dreamwalker: yes
[08:59:11 AM]  Mystress: watches you get the download
[09:00:17 AM]  Mystress: it all falls into place, doesnt it?
[09:01:09 AM]  Mystress: you can see the whole of your training with new eyes, how layers were peeled...
[09:02:03 AM]  Mystress: soak it up
[09:02:07 AM]  dreamwalker: ok
[09:03:17 AM]  Mystress: see what was done to heal you, knowing you will be called to do the same for others
[09:03:34 AM]  Mystress: tour guide of hell to lead people out
[09:04:20 AM]  Mystress: its fascinating isnt it?
[09:06:14 AM]  Mystress: to look back and see all what was cleared, stuff you thought was you.. none of it was. What you are is love, peace, joy, compassion.
[09:07:17 AM]  Mystress: the guy we found in the grove one night... his well full of cement
[09:08:08 AM]  Mystress: layers of garbage turned fossils, hard as coal and sandstone
[09:08:42 AM]  Mystress: and the archaelology that dug it out
[09:09:53 AM]  Mystress: your amazing journey
[09:11:02 AM]  Mystress: how completely lucid you are in this moment to be able to see the road of crazy so clearly
[09:13:59 AM]  dreamwalker: yes it does seem a little strange
[09:14:39 AM]  Mystress: tell me what you get?
[09:16:03 AM]  dreamwalker: well it looks like it is almost unreal the stuff that came out of me solidified
[09:16:44 AM]  Mystress: you thought it was yours and it became embedded
[09:16:54 AM]  Mystress: is that what you mean?
[09:17:38 AM]  dreamwalker: yes i did not know how it was in there solidified thought it just a part of me
[09:17:46 AM]  dreamwalker: armor from the inside
[09:18:08 AM]  Mystress: it solidified *because* you thought it was you
[09:19:35 AM]  Mystress: attached to it
[09:20:07 AM]  Mystress: do you see?
[09:20:45 AM]  dreamwalker: yes i see how i attached to it
[09:21:18 AM]  Mystress: remember working on b., all the karma stuff he thinks is who he is.. and it isn't. the real guy is under the pile of shit.
[09:21:40 AM]  Mystress: but take away too much shit he eeeks
[09:22:15 AM]  Mystress: in a way it is the same as you thinking no emotions = lobotomy
[09:23:06 AM]  dreamwalker: ok i see that
[09:24:17 AM]  Mystress: disturbed children, afraid to shit because they think they will lose some essential part of themselves they won't ever get back
[09:26:12 AM]  Mystress: you and b. ate a lot of karma from people but did not know how to take a shit after
[09:26:22 AM]  Mystress: and it poisoned you
[09:28:59 AM]  Mystress: you know the joke; inside a fat girl is a thin girl and a lot of chocolate?
[09:29:11 AM]  dreamwalker:
[09:29:35 AM]  Mystress: well inside crazy you was sane you and a mountain of shit.
[09:31:53 AM]  dreamwalker:
[09:32:01 AM]  dreamwalker: yes there sure was
[09:34:15 AM]  Mystress mods the shovel we gave you to be better for manure and bad for gravedigging
[09:41:42 AM]  Mystress: shovels for gravedigging are pointed, shovels for shit are flat
[09:42:04 AM]  Mystress: giggles
[09:43:24 AM]  dreamwalker:

[10:25:41 AM]  Mystress: you did really good today
[10:25:59 AM]  Mystress: grew tons in understanding the nature of your nutty
[10:26:13 AM]  Mystress: and all nuttiness, really
[10:26:25 AM]  Mystress: sane guy and a pile of shit on the inside
[10:26:58 AM]  Mystress:
[10:28:02 AM]  dreamwalker:
[10:29:06 AM]  Mystress: you feel really sane and good and strong and wonderful
[10:29:54 AM]  Mystress: like you really found yourself today
[10:30:21 AM]  Mystress: I guess, you did...
[10:30:55 AM]  dreamwalker: yes i did
[10:31:00 AM]  dreamwalker: thank you
[10:31:06 AM]  dreamwalker: wonderful teacher
[10:31:08 AM]  Mystress: thank you
[10:31:38 AM]  Mystress: your being sane isnt an anamoly
[10:31:43 AM]  Mystress: its baseline
[10:31:52 AM]  dreamwalker: yes i realize that now
[10:31:53 AM]  dreamwalker:
[10:32:06 AM]  Mystress: yippeeeee!
[10:33:13 AM]  Mystress: so proud of you sane guy
[10:33:19 AM]  dreamwalker: thank you

I still haven't had any experiences of shadow guide or anything like that.  My life has pretty much fallen apart with no spirit guidance whatsoever.  I feel like something went wrong

What a wondereful post Mystress.
The overload warning is serious. I had to minimise the page to relax a bit since I started to see lines and shapes infront of my eyes and could not focus on the text.
And in pausing several more times I was able to slowly read it.
It was an adventure while reading.

The information is very precious and one does not need to be a shaman to apply the core of it. Leting emotions about stuff go, as soon as possible. And cleaning offten. So there is no need to wait for anything. The loose boundaries challenge is quite a common among spiritual people.

love,
Duu

Quote from: melodicvibrations on Jul 03, 2012, 01:52:14 PM
I still haven't had any experiences of shadow guide or anything like that.  My life has pretty much fallen apart with no spirit guidance whatsoever.  I feel like something went wrong

  I spent part of 3 days preparing that post. Did you spend even 10 minutes reading it?

Yes, I read it many times.  The emotions don't go when surrendered everything just stays stuck

@ Duu: totally exactly 

There's a line from an old tantra I once read which says:

"what is here is also somewhere else, what is not here is nowhere"

a