I have a woman..

That was once in my life quite sometime ago but at times it feels as if she never left.. well actually, she did, and that's what kills me. Through all the many relationships I've had I'd never felt the way about a woman as strongly as I did, even if I consistently tried to convince myself it was not meant to be. What is strange to me, is I will go through periods/phases in which the thought of her rarely arises, or if it does, it surely isn't along the lines of regret or what could have/should have been. Other periods of time, such as now, I will go through great longing to be in her company and have that feeling again.. even to the point I will find myself having vivid dreams in which she takes part in surely doesn't help the process.

I guess I'm seeking a place of stability.. acceptance.. surrender, whatever you want to call it. For one thing, this happened some years ago and I still hold on to some illogical belief that one day we will reunite, even though reality sets in pointing to the fact we have both taken quite different directions in our lives and the distance proves great.

Just get over it dude..

  Make a distinction between the living woman and your idea of her.

  When people fall in love, what they are really doing is projecting the internal Divine Beloved onto an external vessel. Then the relationship progresses with a desire to change the external beloved to be more like the internal ideal... which does not work. The Beloved is not loved or even seen for who they really are because the love is for the reflection. Often when the relationship ends the lover may be puzzled wondering what they ever saw in the loved, and the answer is, themselves. 

   What if the woman who haunts you in your mind, is not the real woman at all, but your own Divine Beloved wearing her shape to get your love and attention and invite you to release the old pain? Falling in love is a projection, take back the projection. Ask Goddess to take all your ideas, beliefs and opinions about the lady, give them to the one that lives in your mind. When the hurt is released the form of the DB may change to no longer appear the same but right now that image is functional trigger for release.  The longing to be in her company is a deeply spiritual desire for union with Goddess unconditional love thats misdirected to a human vessel that does not want it and can never be that for you.  Make that distinction clear in your mind and things will start to shift for you.

This actually rang true on many levels.. even if I disagreed at first. Thank you for the response.