: ah... also ask her about the condition of your inner child. You can project love back through time to yourself, you know... it is never too late to have a happy childhood.
Don't ask me to explain it. Get Goddess to show & tell you and then share what you discover with the group.

Well Mystress, the threads are getting interesting here... I've been working on this for days to absolutely no avail but a knot in my solar plexus the size of the moon! I cleared 37 entities out of there yesterday, but apparently this inner child stuff is something else altogether.

It's hard to get in contact with my inner child because I've never liked children, period. I've never even held a baby, out of disgust. When I think about her, I think HATE. Since her experiences shaped my life today, I'm in some sad shape I see!

I see a scrawny, overly-hairy, cross-eyed piece of crap when I try to love her. Bad attitudes like this one are hard hitting. It doesn't help that I don't remember most of my childhood before drumming. I feel like a walk in.

It's funny... I did go to the library today, and I picked up "Running from Safety" by Richard Bach. This one I haven't read so I brought it home. I'm on Chapter 8. It's interesting that this book is about his struggle to connect and love the inner child. At least in his case, though, he can go inside enough to remember things. I'm hoping to get to that point.

I just wanted to keep you posted.

Love...

It doesn't help that I don't remember most of my childhood before drumming. I feel like a walk in.

(and)

At least in his case, though, he can go inside enough to remember things. I'm hoping to get to that point.

Hi Leslee,

I'm much the same way about my childhood - many, many blanks.  But, the more i remember, the more i remember - if that makes any sense.  Certain things will happen - maybe a conversation that causes deja vu, or some issue comes up and triggers past stuff that can flood my mind with  more and more of what is missing.  Some not so good things, but that's when i can (and you can, too, when it starts happening) give the love that wasn't there then, and heal the most.  It's not the easiest thing this course develops, but it *really* deepens my understanding and opens the doors to things that need to be resolved so that i can continue growing.

Peace,
carla

Thank you for your post, Carla. I appreciate it, and I'm glad I'm not the only one here with "blanks." I really need to work through the HATE I have for my inner child before I can love her, if that makes sense. The blanks are SO BLANK. I can't figure out what's going on yet, but I will not give up on this one iota.

I'm almost sure that if I could go back and make my childhood different, like Mystress suggested is possible, that I would be a totally different animal right now. I'd be on top of the world, doing some really cool stuff...

Peace to you, too,

Leslee

: : Get Goddess to show & tell you and then share what you discover with the group.

: Well Mystress, the threads are getting interesting here... I've been working on this for days to absolutely no avail but a knot in my solar plexus the size of the moon! I cleared 37 entities out of there yesterday, but apparently this inner child stuff is something else altogether.

Yup.. she is not an entity, she is part of you. The maiden aspect of your triple Goddess Self. You cannot force her to do anything.

: It's hard to get in contact with my inner child because I've never liked children, period. I've never even held a baby, out of disgust. When I think about her, I think HATE. Since her experiences shaped my life today, I'm in some sad shape I see!

: I see a scrawny, overly-hairy, cross-eyed piece of crap when I try to love her. Bad attitudes like this one are hard hitting. It doesn't help that I don't remember most of my childhood before drumming. I feel like a walk in.

Well, at least you get an image, a sense of her. Good! Now, comes the healing. You call in the Crone aspect of yourself to be her faiery Godmother.
 Imagine a future version of yourself, older and wiser, gentler, unconditonally loving, powerful, enlightened, magical,... whatever you want, but make sure you give her the ability to love the child unconditionally, with infinite patience and kindness. Make her into the ideal parent you never had... and when you can imagine her clearly, introduce her to the child. Imagining her promising to love and care for the child, and be with her always so she is never alone. Watch them go off into the sunset, happy together.
 Goddess will do the rest.

: It's funny... I did go to the library today, and I picked up "Running from Safety" by Richard Bach. This one I haven't read so I brought it home.
Perfect, perfect! Blessings!  

I think I'll try to drum a wise, magical crone up that mothers me first, because I can't even imagine what a loving parent would be like. Once I feel unconditional love from a parent figure, I suppose I'll be able to turn my inner child onto it. Hopefully I'm not out to lunch with this notion! The project continues...

: Well, at least you get an image, a sense of her. Good! Now, comes the healing. You call in the Crone aspect of yourself to be her faiery Godmother.
:   Imagine a future version of yourself, older and wiser, gentler, unconditonally loving, powerful, enlightened, magical,... whatever you want, but make sure you give her the ability to love the child unconditionally, with infinite patience and kindness. Make her into the ideal parent you never had... and when you can imagine her clearly, introduce her to the child. Imagining her promising to love and care for the child, and be with her always so she is never alone. Watch them go off into the sunset, happy together.
:   Goddess will do the rest.

  Yup, just drum, and let her come to you. She already exists, some where some when outside of time. Waiting.

: I think I'll try to drum a wise, magical crone up that mothers me first, because I can't even imagine what a loving parent would be like. Once I feel unconditional love from a parent figure, I suppose I'll be able to turn my inner child onto it. Hopefully I'm not out to lunch with this notion! The project continues...

: : Well, at least you get an image, a sense of her. Good! Now, comes the healing. You call in the Crone aspect of yourself to be her faiery Godmother.
: :   Imagine a future version of yourself, older and wiser, gentler, unconditonally loving, powerful, enlightened, magical,... whatever you want, but make sure you give her the ability to love the child unconditionally, with infinite patience and kindness. Make her into the ideal parent you never had... and when you can imagine her clearly, introduce her to the child. Imagining her promising to love and care for the child, and be with her always so she is never alone. Watch them go off into the sunset, happy together.
: :   Goddess will do the rest.