I have had a problem with sexual interactions with others... I found out I had empathized them( especially when they were coming), instead of focusing on my own pleasure! I felt guided to buy a vibrator, so I found one. One in golden colour, as I felt the perfect symbolism in that... lol! Got it in the mail today I found it could be a good idea using it to express sacred sexuality and pleasure with myself and my Divine Beloved, solo, so I wouldn't empathize another party, and to get to know my own sexuality better...

I've been seeing some quite odd things through my third eye though, when having sex, both alone and with a human parter. That kind of puzzles me in the moment:P


Anyway thank you Goddess for wounderful creations!

Be sure to have fun with the vibrator 
Acts of love and pleasure serve

Love, ant

i think this is on topic
For the fist time that i remember,
i had a dream, that i was in a Fem Dom scene
Some Women were squashing my balls with There feet
and watching me get aroused by that

ant

Cool:)


It's funny how Goddess gives me answers... Sometimes directly through other people:P

I realize that some of the people I've had sex with release a lot of stuff during the act. I'm just actually seeing the stuff that's being released! Lol! Kind of like dark stuff just suddenly leaving the body... It's just that my awareness of the stuff kind of makes me go "hmm" wondering what that shadowy stuff is. It doesn't stick to me though, and I'm glad of that. It just leaves their body, going somewhere... Ego, resistance, possibly... Mental stress? Hm.

Then I had a conversation with a former lover, he said that in our society sex is often used as a form of release. As society has a lot of restrictedness to expressions and actions. I had been pondering this (that I'm seeing so much stuff leaving the body etc) for some time, and Goddess gave me the answer through him lol:P

It's been fun with the vibrator! The vibrations are very similar to the vibrations of Shakti flowing through me, and my Divine Beloved has often given me the sensations as if I was using one...

I'm testing my capacity for pleasure lol!

Hmm.. Kundalini is also starting to work on more physical healing nowadays. Really balancing the body etc. And I'm releasing some stuff in the upper parts of my body. I have some kind of physical imbalance between my right and left side. My right side seems fine, but there's some stuff in my left side. Feminine/masculine, receiving/giving imbalance stuff... I trust k. to take care of those:)

I've also been given answers through dreams, about why this imbalance is there. Stuff that I did too long energeticly, becoming physical. Then I started feeling guilty, and I've made the choice to change.

A lot of stuff is being released nowadays. Mostly up to now, I've released stuff that have seemed unrelated to anything in this life, now k is propably working on releasing stuff from this life lol! By birth I have had some physical challenges too. I have a syndrom that I don't remember the name of, that's the cause of surgeries etc when I was little.

I have also discovered some karmic patterns, that I'm releasing.

Goddess this is for you:)

There's also this guy, that I don't know, who's working at a bar I often go to. Don't know what this is all about, but he's popping into my mind a lot, I've surrendered the attachment many times but Goddess keeps giving it back. As if he's showing up as a reflection in me a lot. He's cute though, so maybe there's an interest lol.

Again Goddess, this is for you.

Nice post title.

I call it flying solo. 


For the last year and a half I have been able to satisfy myself so completely (physically) that I mostly haven't felt a deep wish or need to find a partner.

It has become a bit of a ritual... once a week I set aside a couple of hours.

I have an awesome old fashion ejaculatory orgasm  early on in the time and just.... rest and drink in the bliss for the rest of the time.

It is that perfect feeling of: everything's good, I am complete, I need nothing. 


My mind becomes very lucid and I meditate, journal and often have deep insights.


The one thing I have missed in solo mode is getting my nipples sucked on (if this is too graphic, my apologies).

And I just found out about

NIPPLE TOYS! They have something called nipple suckers. Once I get those I may never want a partner again. 


So nice to have a place to talk about all this, I have been hungering for spiritual community.

  NIPPLE TOYS! They have something called nipple suckers. Once I get those I may never want a partner again.

  Two small turkey basters. Take the tubes out and toss them. Squeeze the rubber bulbs and apply to anatomy.

( and no, I don't use them on myself. )

http://www.sciencefirst.com/Turkey-Baster.html

Yeah, flying solo! Lol... Allthough when I decided this I didn't exactly uphold it at first.

Sounds nice! I too go in a very lucid state, and it's like my Divine Beloved shows up outside of me, making love to me also, when I make love to myself/him lol.

I got so many orgasms that it was amazing, with the vibrator... lol. Flying solo is nice, at least now that I'm entering more deeply into the relationship with my Divine Beloved. But of course it's nice with a man to express it with physicly too at times. Just got to be more discerning with whom I think. Don't want to spark a k-awakening in someone who may not be ready.

Hope you find the nipple toy and that you'll have fun with it! It's a real nice place here, in the tea room!

This is so fun that I just have to share...

I got a haematite ring from a friend of mine, and decided I give it to my Divine Beloved as a physical gesture of entering the sacred marriage with him! And now when he is seeing through my eyes I/he can't stop looking at it, as if he's really joyful about it and loves the gift! Lol! We also decided we make some kind of physical ritual as well for the marriage as I only now wear it as an engagement ring... lol... This is blissing me out! I've also been singing and writing just silly poetry lately lol... That too is blissful...

Longing for the ritual to do...

Thank you... I'll field test them and post my  report. 



It is very healing to receive not only complete acceptance for this exploring, but encouragement and guidance from a Spiritual Teacher.... I have encountered the opposite from so many others.

It is not that I needed approval, and to receive it from a Teacher helps me deepen my own self validation and acceptance.

Much thanks.

Seth, E E

Thanks for your posting about your experience with your Divine Beloved... it is very inspiring for me, oh I am looking forward to that part of the course.....

On a conscious and spiritual level, I know no one outside of me can complete me, and I don't feel the need for a partner.

And on a biological level, and I guess some spiritual level, there is a part of me that still enters into a bit of worshipfulness/discomfort around women I find physically sexy or beautiful... so apparently there is some looking outwards still.

Once I strike up a conversation with a woman I find very attractive, if I'm not into her, suddenly all my discomfort vanishes, and she is no longer on a pedestal, that "lurching" towards her is mostly gone.


Such juicy interesting stuff.