Hello,

About 2-3 years ago I wrote a post here about problems with "blink outs" during the day. Mystress advised me to see a doctor.

I did go for one medical test where they put electrodes on my head, but I didn't go for further testing because I got distracted with a new job.

Anyway, the problem has gotten worse, and I usually have to really use a lot of effort to not fall asleep during the day, when concentrating, reading or listening to another person.

I have had sleep paralysis since I was 10 years old, and when I was reading about it a couple of days ago, I read that it can be linked to narcolepsy.

I have most of the narcolepsy symptoms listed, so I suspect that these "blink outs" are because of that. So, I'm going to get my doctor to send me to a neurologist, so that I can eventually get diagnosed.

I hope it is that, because I have started to blame myself because of my lacking ability to focus or concentrate for longer time, in many situations.

It has affected my social life, as I have become avoidant to hang out with people in my spare time, because they often ask me if I'm falling asleep or if I'm tired. It has also affected my work, because my colleagues and bosses often ask me if I'm bored or tired, when they are speaking, as I can hardly control my eye lids from closing.

I have noticed that I often get these narcolepsy blink outs (?) when focusing on people with low energy. It's like they connect to my energy field, and sucks away the energy.

I'm wondering why I get these blink outs more often when around people with low energy, than when around people who are not like that?

Even reading something written by, or thinking of, someone with low energy, might make my eyelids and body go heavy.

Have any of you any experience or thoughts about this?


Edward

Hi Edward

They say i have sleep apnea,
(that reminds me i have calls to make about it)
One Doctor says my brain doesn't tell my body to breath when i sleep.

i have a hard time concentrating to read,
i could read your post, but the post before it
from highly energized person was hard to read

it does seem to lift me to talk to high energy person
(as long as they are well grounded)
High energy can be contagious,
Maybe low energy is to

now that i think about it
it is easer to read and talk to person who well grounded
and it saps my energy read or talk to person who is not well grounded


Just my thoughts, ant

"I have noticed that I often get these narcolepsy blink outs (?) when focusing on people with low energy. It's like they connect to my energy field, and sucks away the energy."

It's often like that with me too... Maybe a power chakra thing here?

Or maybe it's about a mirroring affect, or empathicly relating with the person one's dealing with?

It drains me to be around people who I don't have much in common with, or if I find the subject or conversation boring:P Then I simply get tired... And like ant, I sometimes get drained around people who aren't really grounded..

But then again my empathy can be so strong that my body develops similar symptoms as the person I'm empathizing, like really seeing from their perspectives and energeticly experiencing the symptoms through my own body, one time I even developed sense of likes and dislikes of tastes that belonged to another person!

I also sometimes get blink-outs so maybe I should talk to a doctor about it too.

Hope you get some answers:)

   I know someone who was able to vamp me into unconsciousness in about 5 minutes. Feeding on my life force is not ok with me. I asked my guardian angel to not let him do that anymore. Presto, no longer an issue. For me at least... for him too, since its rather difficult to guide him to get past the behavior if I am asleep.

  When people are projecting a lot of stuff onto me its the opposite, I get very hyper which leads to being cranky with the source.

  Awakened folks are radiant and some unawakened people feel it and think its lunchtime. I have started calling unawakened people "orphans."  They behave as they do because they do not know the Mother.
  I found this handy diagram of the effect, on the web. Sorry if its a bit messy... violence in nature doesn't offend me and I hate fluffy tailed rats so I found it a hysterically funny reflection. Yaaa been there!

This is very interresting what you are saying, Mystress! I have experienced something very similar...

Sometimes it feels like (when dealing with people) I either descend or ascend (depending on which chakra point I'm in myself) to the place where they are seeing/living from, in order to "meet" them at their level.

This happens very spontaneously, and when it happens it's as if I'm entering a trance. I can snap put of it at will though. Depending on where I descend/ascend to I see like a glow of the chakra colour, which is telling me "where" I am.

One time I spontaneously descended down into the root chakra (I saw like a red glow, like I was in it) and there was a greyish shape moving a few feet away from me to my left side. Before it happened it was like the left side of my brain got disabled and there was a bit of discomfort in my gut. I snaped out of once I saw the shape (this was at home in the night when I was alone).

Another time I somewhat connected with a guy at a bar, and I kind of ascended/descended into the heart chakra, as I suddenly saw a lot of green. Other than that there was a lot of black in the vision.

This happens often when I'm wide awake and sometimes when I'm out. But it's felt safe so far, as I can distinguish from ordinary reality and the other or others, and can snap put of it and return to ordinary reality when needed.

Recently as I was looking at myself in the mirror in my bathroom I started seeing a serpent under my feel, and it started moving/dancing when I observed it. I got a feeling of love towards it

This has been going on for quite some time now, and telling others about it they joke about it and comment that I must be on acid trips or something:P

Anyway I surrender all this to Goddess, and I hand the changes of conciousness over to my Divine Beloved to handle as he thinks best.

Just had sleep paralysis, and was stressing for a long time just to finally move one of my legs... But what a conveniant place to be in when the k- is trying to move out a persistant blockage!:) I did feel a LOT of k-fire heat, and other activity... If it had only happened when I layed out straight! LOL:P

I know my father's energy sometimes completely depletes me of energy, unless I really focus on staying grounded when talking with him. I feel very heavy (but that's how I feel when empathizing someone who's not physicly in a good shape)

Sometimes I feel like I'm being filled up with so much shakti that I fall into just being/zen, (sometimes alone, sometimes around others) And it's like I start seeing from inside my head, and there's a golden layer inside of the eyes which I'm seeing through. I kind of zone out completely, unable to think, but I don't fall asleep.

Just thought I'd share, don't know if any of it helps...

After I cleared the power chakra more, it has not happened again. I've not had any reaction where I've become sleepy around people - but that might also be because last week and this week I'm only interacting with other yoga students who are awakened or more or less self-realized.

I think it was clearly a result of giving energy away to these orphans. I can usually spot these low energy creatures easily. Just a glance at them, and I will feel heavy within a nano second.  I will avoid them at almost all cost from now on - and only if I have to set the record straight, then I'll go into interaction with these types. Parasites. I don't feel any compassion for them either. When they've sucked you dry for energy, they will move on to the next person who is willingly letting their blood.

The director of the unit in the bank I work in, is a narcissist. Most people who have been working with him have become long time sick or made redundant. If he tries to suck any more energy out me, I will tell him to behave. If he reacts with trying to get me sacked - that is OK. I will NOT waste my life on working in toxic places with toxic people.

Anyway, still going to the doc on Thursday.


Edward

i doubt these "parasites" suck your energy on purpose.  is everything and everyone you come in contact with not a reflection of yourself? if i worked in a bank i would quit my job and become a peace pilgrim.

     namaste

Does it really matter if the parasite is sucking the energy on purpose or not?

Do I really let a bug bite me and suck my blood, thinking it is just a reflection?

Do you think it's better to become a peace pilgrim than working in bank? If so, why do you think that?


Edward

Quote from: John Wayne Black on Aug 09, 2011, 09:09:12 AM
i doubt these "parasites" suck your energy on purpose.  is everything and everyone you come in contact with not a reflection of yourself? if i worked in a bank i would quit my job and become a peace pilgrim.

     namaste

well i guess it doesnt really matter if they do it on purpose or not.
but i dont see what good it will do to have no compassion for a dying orphan who just wants some of your delicious energy.

if a parasite bites you and feeds on you then that is goddess way of telling you are also a parasite.
to have no compassion for a parasite is to have no compassion for an aspect of yourself. we are all parasites. if you use a car then you are a parasite.

i dont think that ne thing is better than ne thing else, i am just saying that the banking system is one of the biggest parasites on the planet, and a peace pilgrim is the complete opposite.

What good will compassion do for the orphan?

Compassion brings me back up to the heart chakra, and that is a place where I don't want to be when I'm "fighting" for my boundaries.

So you think there is no good with the banking system? I guess you don't have a mortgage or a business?


Edward

Quote from: John Wayne Black on Aug 09, 2011, 12:22:18 PM
well i guess it doesnt really matter if they do it on purpose or not.
but i dont see what good it will do to have no compassion for a dying orphan who just wants some of your delicious energy.

if a parasite bites you and feeds on you then that is goddess way of telling you are also a parasite.
to have no compassion for a parasite is to have no compassion for an aspect of yourself. we are all parasites. if you use a car then you are a parasite.

i dont think that ne thing is better than ne thing else, i am just saying that the banking system is one of the biggest parasites on the planet, and a peace pilgrim is the complete opposite.

well if more people had compassion for orphans there wouldnt be so many of them. is compassion is a waste of time?

i still dont get the whole living from power chakra thing. can you clarify it more for me? i dont understand the downside to it...

i am not the banks biggest fan. it seems to be a more politically correct version of the mafia, and no i dont have either of those things, nor do i want them.


   namaste

hay edward i found the answer to my question about power chakra here...

http://kundalini-teacher.com/chakras/ethic.php

  it also reminded me alot of this conversation 


with love and gratitude,
    john

Quote from: edward on Aug 09, 2011, 08:47:57 AMI think it was clearly a result of giving energy away to these orphans. I can usually spot these low energy creatures easily. Just a glance at them, and I will feel heavy within a nano second.  I will avoid them at almost all cost from now on - and only if I have to set the record straight, then I'll go into interaction with these types. Parasites. I don't feel any compassion for them either. When they've sucked you dry for energy, they will move on to the next person who is willingly letting their blood.

   What you resist, persists...  

Yes Mystress. From a less emotional view, they key must to be to not go in a fear state. Shakti and chi is flowing abundantly through. The more I do physical  yoga poses, I notice that I feel cleaner as the karma is
burned off, and then less stuff also sticks. Because there is less equal stuff in the energy body.

I had this friend over last Saturday, and I felt heavy here and there. He focusing on stuff which I had also been focusing on last summer (paranoid conspiracy stuff). I just be with it, and and breathe through, and after the mental storm had been stilled, I felt good the day after. Transmuting the stuff that was in me, reflected outwards in a greater or lesser degree.

However, some people are just bottomless pits, and those are just to stay away from.

Edward

  I think you both misunderstood my example.

    Why didnt the little bird fly away?

    No victims.  When my friend vamped me unconscious, I took steps to not allow it to continue by asking my Guardian angel.  I didn't stop being friends with him, and it is only because we are close that he was able to do it in the first place.  Once I was no longer passing out, we could talk about why he does it and work to change the pattern.

   Nobody can take your energy unless you allow it, on some level. Thats why clearing the victim stuff out of your power chakra made you feel better. 

   John: money is an ingenious system for exchanging life energy for material goods. Did you want to go back to bartering with chickens?  I sure don't... cannot send chickens via paypal

   What you see is your own self reflected so reconsider the idea of banks as evil.

   Blessings...

i dont consider money and banks as evil. i just feel like there wont be world peace untill we forgive all of our debts and stop using them. yes money is necessary right now, but if we want to live in a peaceful war free society then we have to surrender our moneys and start working for the entire planet and existence instead of just ourselves. it is ingenious and necessary just like beepers used to be, but it will soon be obsolete...

Because the bird made a choice to get eaten?

I really have to understand this.

When you wrote the post, Mystress, I was on page 108 in Illusions, where Shimoda manifests a vampire, and says that Richard has the choice to how to react to the vampire.

What you're saying is that, if I feel "victimised", then I have to change my reaction or way of handling the situation, because ultimately there was a
free will choice to react or behave in the initial way, that made me feel as a "victim" ?

This does not mean that if I feel "victimised", that I should think that it is okay to be "victimised" because "there are no victims", but rather change my choice of reacting or behaving, so that I don't feel "victimised" ?

Am I getting it now?


Edward

Quote from: Mystress on Aug 17, 2011, 12:41:54 PM
  I think you both misunderstood my example.

    Why didn't the little bird fly away?

    No victims.  When my friend vamped me unconscious, I took steps to not allow it to continue by asking my Guardian angel.  I didn't stop being friends with him, and it is only because we are close that he was able to do it in the first place.  Once I was no longer passing out, we could talk about why he does it and work to change the pattern.

   Nobody can take your energy unless you allow it, on some level. Thats why clearing the victim stuff out of your power chakra made you feel better. 

Quote from: edward on Aug 18, 2011, 04:16:19 AMWhen you wrote the post, Mystress, I was on page 108 in Illusions, where Shimoda manifests a vampire, and says that Richard has the choice to how to react to the vampire.

What you're saying is that, if I feel "victimised", then I have to change my reaction or way of handling the situation, because ultimately there was a
free will choice to react or behave in the initial way, that made me feel as a "victim" ?

This does not mean that if I feel "victimised", that I should think that it is okay to be "victimised" because "there are no victims", but rather change my choice of reacting or behaving, so that I don't feel "victimised" ?

Am I getting it now?

  Yes, you nailed it!  

  Such a perfect synchronicity coming through one of my all time fave inspirational authors gives me great joy. I was probably 14 when I first read it... it empowered me then, actualizing it is lifelong. I still turn victim briefly, when something catches me by surprise but I cannot really believe in that drama anymore. Its too self destructive to sustain victimhood for more than a few moments. I feel myself start to fall from grace and get busy surredering!

   Whether victims exist for real or not, it is your choice to give power away to believing you are one, or not, and that affects your inner feelings and your external results. Victimhood is a fear state, you get ungrounded and fall into flight or flight patterns, make bad choices. Just don't go there.  If you want to be ascended you need to develop discipline to not go into victimhood. Its All Goddess, all your own reflection.

  Stay grounded, apply gratitude to get past ego, and see purpose. 

  Fact is some of those vampires will become your yoga students. People dont seek personal improvement if they are completely happy with themselves, as they are. Its more about degrees of unhappiness and your job to teach them to be happier, not flee from their need of you. The same charisma that makes you so "OHM NOM NOM NOM" is what brings you students.

  Go back in time to the FSt intensive weekend, rise out of yourself and see how I am feeding the students... not just the banquet in the rest area. Some have described white flashes like a camera... and how its followed so often by me walking amoung the chairs, pulling the stuff that showed up in the light, tossing it to faeries with a flick of the wrist. None in the room are orphans but all hunger for more, and I let them take, Goddess refills me.

Being fed is why they are there and part of what they are paying me for. A starving man will overeat, make himself sick.. so some of whats given is automatically time travelled to be gentler and not trigger too much at once and thats part of why I get karma incoming from the weekends up to five years after I do an event.  Is how long it took the recipient to be ready for what was given, its been in a time capsule waiting. Their own DB handles the details.

  I know, all through my teaching it says not to project energy... yet every video and word of this course is shakti charged, and all the websites, and the sl sim. Every tearoom post and bar of soap... Shakti goes into anything creative I do, so... how can I not?  Its not projected though, it simply waits like a fountain for those who would drink. The websites belong to Goddess, as do I, so most of the feedback is handled autopilot. 

  Is like the disclaimer on shows like "Mythbusters." We are experienced trained professionals, don't try this at home. I can handle the processing, and you will stretch and grow to learn to handle more without being pulled off center by it.

  I enjoy Stuart Wilde's attitudes about it. He says as you grow spiritually you will attract people who want some of that... just find a way to bill them for it.


Stuart Wilde: We are looking at the world of the ego out there. Our societies are absolutely polluted by television and the media. And they are polluted by importance and glamour. And they are polluted by this need of everybody to be special, regardless of whether they are putting out any energy or not. Everyone has an enormous amount of demands and very little need to actually generate any energy to fulfill those demands. So, you look at all of that stuff and of course it's absolute nonsense. However, if you will turn back within yourself, to what is real and what is true and what is loving, if you will get off self indulgence, self importance, whining and moaning, and return back to the real spiritual self where the feminine energy of the god force exists, then that power is more powerful than anything else in the world. People are drawn to it. People will be drawn to your kindness, to your mothering qualities, to your creative abilities, to your strength. If you return to the sacred way, and you make that sacred pledge about your life, then gradually the money you make will be and can be used to assist other people to do the same. The whole point of money is to buy experiences and help your sisters and your brothers. That's the function of it. Other than that, it just becomes a power trip and an ego thing. It's just all part of this enormously ugly, sort of materialistic, hedonistic search for security that drives the ego forward thinking that perhaps money might be the way, and of course it isn't.

http://www.peopleandpossibilities.com/Stuart-Wilde.html

Stuart's highly successful metaphysical approach shows you how to get into the flow of "easy money". He discusses practical techniques on how to raise your energy quickly. Once you do, people will be naturally attracted to what you are. When they show up, bill'em.http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3952939554477513942#

Thank you for your reply! Things are moving very smoothly now.

I had my first class on Friday. Everything went almost by itself, and I like being strict, attentive and caring at the same time. The yoga students where hanging around after the class, and saying how good it was. This is Iyengar yoga, where there is intense focus on alignment and safety in the poses. And I loved teaching it!

When I came home I was somewhat hyper, and breathed through and surrendered stuff. But I also noticed that I was tired. Therefore it was very good to take an advanced class the morning after, and being the yoga student. That filled me up. The other teachers repeatedly say how important it is do your own yoga practice, to not get burnt out, when teaching.

It is one of the hottest yoga studios in town, and after the plan I'm also going to teach advanced classes which are done in around 122 degrees F.

I feel like there is purpose now, in my days. My plan is to go and take many classes weekly as a student also, so that I get really good in this. Then, if Goddess wills, 2-3 years from now, open my own studio, and work with that full time. Maybe also selling yoga props and stuff like that over the net. My older wealthy friend, seems to be fully behind, so start up funding is nothing I have to worry about. My dream is also to run a small yoga retreat centre on a warm Island, and if it is dharma, Goddess may manifest it. Then Mystress can come and stay for free as many times and as long as she desires

This victim stuff is very good to let go off. I feel more empowered, more energy, more life. In a meeting at the bank today with my boss and the director, and said to my Guardian Angels to not let any of them feed on my life energy, and also reminding myself that I'm free and not dependent on the job, and be myself, and breathing in the power chakra. This time I didn't feel depleted after the meeting. It was interesting to notice that both of them where mirroring  gestures and movements I made.

As the power chakra is clearing up, I feel more manly also. And I like it. Having a masculine body with hairy chest. And the ladies in the hot yoga classes seem to like it, when I'm sweating and working out in a little black yoga shorts    heh

After the workshop in Finland, I have not trimmed the hair on my chest.

As I start to feel more as a man, and liking it, I'm becoming less and less interested physically in other men. And I'm finding female bodies and energies more appealing.

I have watched the Stuart Wilde video link you provided. I also downloaded his 4 hour seminar on the Mastery of Money. I have asked my DB to make me aware of stuff that is to be given a new perspective and surrendered, that which is related to money and wealth as something bad or evil, and also stuff about giving power away and victimhood.

I get handsomely paid per class at the yoga studio and can also take as many classes I want for free, and I'm guaranteed a minimum amount that is almost double my hourly salary in the bank. The salary will increase as I get more students. I'm not employed at the yoga studio, but have established my own company, which then invoices the studio. Having my own company makes able to tax deduct any related expenses not only income from the yoga teaching business, but also from income as an employee in the bank, legally


Edward

Quote from: John Wayne Black on Aug 17, 2011, 06:55:07 PM
i dont consider money and banks as evil. i just feel like there wont be world peace untill we forgive all of our debts and stop using them. yes money is necessary right now, but if we want to live in a peaceful war free society then we have to surrender our moneys and start working for the entire planet and existence instead of just ourselves. it is ingenious and necessary just like beepers used to be, but it will soon be obsolete...

  Marx thought so too. Millions of people have tried it. It doesn't work.
  People are inherently self centered. They won't work harder unless they have some clear personal advantage. Altruism by itself is not enough.

   I used to date a German guy who emigrated to Canada after the berlin wall fell.  He worked for some big companies like mercedes and lufthansa. The workers who came over from the far side of the wall were almost universally hated by the west side workers because they complained endlessly but did not do any work. Communism gave no personal reward for working harder and so under communism workers learned to do the absolute minimum they could get away with. This attitude was horribly offensive to the hard working western Germans.
Check with your discernment: humans will always experience conflict, because we are individuals, not borg. There will always be some type of war, because we are diffieent and will disagree. Thats free will for ya!

wow   thank you mystress. i have been slowley realizing that alot lately.  hmmm.......


with love  and gratitude,

john