A response to someone on facebook, of all places... problem with being unable to meditate because the mind just won't shut up.  Enjoy...


A, you are going about it sort of backwards, wanting to repress the noisy thoughts into silence with various types of distraction and avoidance strategies, when what you really need to do is accept, acknowledge them and surrender them. Let the part of your mind that is infinite, sort all this stuff out for you.

That is why the thoughts are coming up; to be released. Every noisy thought is a shred of karma you are being shown because Kali wants to have it all for lunch, and you've got Free Will so She needs your permission to take it. Say Yes it is Yours. If you repress it instead it just comes up stronger next time.

You can try to just watch the thoughts go by without engaging them, works if you are grounded. Usually you are not grounded so instead listen to the thoughts and respond "Goddess take this, it is yours" to each and every one, and to thought patterns and to the kriya muscle twitches that accompany them.

Goddess take these thoughts/muscle tension/wayward emotions/stressful energy/bad memories/ etc. It is all yours, a gift for you. Thank you. Then breathe and think of the moon or your feet or any momentary distraction because your attention to the thought is an attachment. Its impossible to *not think of something by trying to not think about it... that is why you get stuck!! BUT!! it is really easy to just think of something else instead for a minute, and our linear brains really only handle one thing at a time so it works.

Distract yourself from what has just been surrendered so Goddess can take it when you are not looking... then do the same with the next thought and the next. Its not rocket science and you dont need any fancy machines or incantations because you are invoking your own infinite self which is more powerful than anything else in the universe.

All it takes is persistence, and that is something you are good at! Keep surrendering the noisy thoughts one at a time or in bunches, and eventually you *will* run out of karma and your mind becomes quiet.

I know it seems too simple and engineers love complexity because they get to feel clever but this is a cosmic law like gravity, it doesnt change and it always works.

I know sometimes it will seem like you are not making progress because a thought comes up that looks just like the thought you surrendered yesterday, but its not the same thought, it is its cousin or brother or auntie twice removed ... it is a related thought, or another layer of the same thought pattern. Just be very persistent in handing it over to your Infinite self until there is nothing left but peace and love and joy and blissful silence that is Divine.

Thanks for the post Mystress.

Anyway, this is where I don't get it.

The thoughts create the world around, right?

So, how can I just the let the thougths be?

Or do the thoughts only have the power to create when they have emotional energy behind them?

I have problems letting go.

And I'm in my PMS-phase!


Edward

Hi Edward, just my 2 cents...I try to think of those thoughts as a filter sitting in front of all my senses they obstruct my view, my sense of smell, hearing, touch etc.  allowing me to only experience the world based off of the emotional filter sitting in front the senses. Surrendering them the filters are broken down and we experience the true grace of unconditional love and appreciate the time spent behind the filters...

Edward,

I ran across a cool story today from the Yoga Vani.  It seems pertinent to your debacle, so here it is in a modified form:

There once was a young man who wanted all kinds of stuff.  One day he heard of a wizard who had power to control spirits.  He went to visit this wizard and begged the wizard to teach him how to control a spirit so he could satisfy his desires.  The wizard said no initially because it was so dangerous, but the man insisted eagerly...and eventually the wizard relented and gave him a mantra.

The man said the mantra intensely until a spirit showed up.  The man told the spirit that the spirit was now his slave and that it would do whatever he wanted.  The spirit told the man: I will agree to this arrangement if you agree that when you can no longer keep me busy, I can destroy what I have given you and kill you.  The young man agreed because he knew that he had a lot of desires and that it would be a long time before he ran out.

First he told the spirit that he wanted a beautiful palace to live in.  In 24 hours, the spirit did 6 months of work and the man had a beautiful palace to live in.  Then he asked the spirit for a lot of money.  The spirit brought him an incredible amount of money within minutes.  At this point the man was speechless...he could think of nothing else that he wanted.  The spirit began to chase him to take his life.

The man ran off to the wizard and said HELP!  The wizard, said I told you so...and then instructed him to stick a bamboo stake into the earth outside of his house and tell the spirit to go up and down the stake forever.  The man did this.  Eventually the spirit became bored came to the man and begged to be released from the task of going up and down the stake.  He said, if you release me from this task and let me go free, I will let you keep everything I have done for you and spare your life.  The man let the spirit go and became at peace with himself finally.

OK...long story...but here is the moral:  The spirit is the ego/mind.  We identify with our desires, etc...and the ego/mind will accomplishes these things for us...all the while enslaving us as we try to force our will on reality.  Eventually, we realized that this was a self destructive course of action.  So, we turned to the Mystress.  She told us to ground and surrender.  The bamboo stake is the spine.  The answer is to take the ego/mind up and down the spine (read grounding exercise + surrender) until it is ready to let go completely.  Eventually, it will let go.  Then you are free.

warm regards,
Pete

Hi Edward,

What has come into my awareness, is to just surrender your desires to Goddess and work with the energy that comes back. It might be no action needed, because it is not what is meant for you or a course of action will just present itself... and go from that perspective. Keep repeating this until you *feel* it is wholesome and connected. 

Dave

You asked,

The thoughts create the world around, right?

So, how can I just the let the thougth's be?

Or do the thougth's only have the power to create when they have emotional energy behind them?



Been carrying these questions around with me. In the middle of the night these words just appeared in my conscious:

Thoughts create the ego world... the world of separation. Feelings connect to the world of 'what is' use your discernment and follow your own bliss. (wholesome and connected) this is all you need to do. Goddesses knows what is right for you and her indicator that you are correct in what you are doing is the feeling of bliss, grace and light.

Hope this info helps Ed.

Hi!
I've been doing this practice more after I red this post. It's really helpful, and I use it more outside meditation because lately I haven't been actually meditating much. My thoughts can be really nasty, and this practice helps me to be more aware of them, and see that they just pop into my mind even when I'm thinking something else. Helps me to see that I'm not my thoughts, I don't have to attach to every thought that floats through my mind, I can be choosy.
Sometimes I've been trying to repress thoughts, being a bit ashamed about them because I know how sensitive people are to those, myself included. So I haven't released the karma, just repressed it back into my system. This feels merciful towards myself. I'm not this thought, I don't want to keep this kind of vibe in me, so I surrender it to Goddess. Ahhh relief 

Thanks for your response Pete and Dave.

The story from the Yoga Vani fascinates me.

Sometimes I identify with the mind completely and at other times it is just something that is happening on the screen.

As I see from my post, and from my earlier posts, I have problems staying grounded. This again makes me identify with the mind and then hell breakes loose. I've been thinking about it, why I seem to be in less balance now, or less
surrendered now, than before. At times there is so much energy running through my body, emotional energy, I get caught up in it, forget to ground, or I find it hard to give myself the time to get grounded, and then I go into a destructive phase. It's like, the ego don't want to let go. I don't want to loose control over my life! But have I really been in control before? So, therefore I think, I have problems letting go.

Back to the Yoga Vani story: I think I am that young man, and I think I am not yet tired of letting the spirit manifest things. Actually, I think I am only beginning to see its powers to manifest things, and I think I have problems to believe that it actually works like that. I want to keep my lamp and rub on it.

However, I see that it is only a temporary satisfaction. And also, it makes my tummy go bad. A few weeks ago I had a dream about Bob Proctor, and I took it as a sign to read his book. But then the conflicts starts, my belly is aching when I read the books about creative visualization, and creative visualiazation just feels wrong. I want to manifest things, like money, because of fear. Fear = not grounded. So somehow I just feel forced to bow down to Goddess again.

Actually, it must be much more useful and also a long lasting alternative to not have to wish for things all the time and always be thirsty, but instead have someone who always manifests the most useful.

And if I try to use my free will for other than using it to surrender itself to Goddess will, I just feel like shit!

If it where not for that, for feeling like shit when using my free will, I don't think I would have any problems to use it, and be my own magician of my life. But it feels like that there is nothing I can do to take control back.
I remember that I had a dream in the beginning of the FST-course, that I tried to pull out the green snake from my nostril, but it was impossible. The snakes have posssesed me and there is nothing I can do!

Argh!

I am angry. I feel like a slave. If I dont surrender to the body, to Goddess, I just feel like shit physically and mentally.
Free will is Goddess law? Well, if I can choose between feeling good (that means surrendering to the Goddess) or feeling like shit (that means to not surrender to the Goddess), offcourse I would choose to use my free will to surrender to the Goddess. So, I don't experience it as "free will is Goddess law", I experience it more as "Surrender to Goddess or get spanked". Hmm, actually the body signal of feeling like shit is like an early warning indicator.

Surely this Shakti-energy has its own will, and it is of no use for the Ego (me?). I think the Ego regrets for starting with this K-stuff.

Anyway, on a deeper level, it is everything I could wish for. No? It depends who you define as 'I'. But this is just mental masturbation and does not lead anywere.

I remember one night I was sitting in the restaurant of the resort I was staying on an island. Suddenly the indian lady I was talking with ordered me to sit in meditiation position and focus on my root chakra. Then she said something like "I can create whatever you desire". It was so strange. Afterwards her husband had to almost carry her back their bungalow. It must've been Goddess speaking through her directly to me.

I'm sorry for all these messy posts lately. But I don't feel like carrying a spiritual, perfect mask anymore.

Yes, now I understand the initial post from Mystress.


Thank you!

Edward