Well my dad died suddenly last week . Instead of letting him go peacefully as he told me he wanted my stepmother put him through extreme lifesaving measures.  These turned him into a vegetable with no brain function at all for four more days.  Now she's trying to exclude me and my family from coming to the funeral  and I can see the same thing is on the horizon in regard to his estate. 
I am completely beside myself at this point, to have this woman threatening to call the cops on me if I show up at my own father's funeral is just too damn much.  She never liked me and used to hit me when I was little and lock me in the basement.  I was willing to forgive and forget for my dad's sake but now it has come to this.
What I am experiencing is feelings of extreme anger, rage and desire to hurt these people. (meaning also my half ister who is going along with the stepmoms wishes)  This is very unusual for me. 
I really don't know what to do with this.  I did a private session with Mystress in which she helped me to clear my anger, well ithat was before the funeral exclusion thing and now it is all back with a vengeance.  She actualy suggested I experience and not suppress my anger if I am remembering correctly.  Well my anger is making me into an enraged and useless being. 
I just saw my dad a few weeks ago and I don't think he would have wanted this.  We had a nice time together, and now he is gone. 
I feel like in a funny way this anger is trying to protect me./  It doesnt feel right to surrender it somehow.   
I don't quite understand this because last week I was in a totally different place, one where I had been living for some time.  This place was characterized by forgiveness and an understanding of the uselessness of violence.  I felt all this very deeply at the time and believed it was some sort of permanent mental shift.  However, now I am totally enraged and not feeling that way at all.  Perhaps there is no "me" left and I just perceive/feel/think I "believe" in whatever is in keeping with what chakra I am hanging out at.  I thought I was a peaceful person, but I am not that right now.
Or, like mystress says, i am everything, angels and hitler and all of that at the same time.
Only thing that makes sense, seeing myself act like this.
namaste
jen

Hi Jen,

Firstly, I really empathize and feel your pain Jen, please take what I type as only friendly advice on my limited knowledge.

How I see it you have every right to be angry, I would have be enraged if someone tried to stop me from being at my mum's funeral. Its how you deal with the anger that is most important. I too have recently been looking at anger issues, for me anger seen rightly, is transmuted into rightful action, but first its an opportunity to look at the hidden corners of the rage, feel how your stepmom's energy is stuck in you, as Mystress suggested 'experience and not suppress your anger' (feel the raw quality of it)...then surrender it.

She never liked me and used to hit me when I was little and lock me in the basement

I feel like in a funny way this anger is trying to protect me./  It doesn't feel right to surrender it somehow.    

This statement suggests that it has brought up an old ego defence mechanism you made to defend yourself from your step mom? , this I feel must be surrendered wholly before you would be able to confront your Stepmom/Half Sister with any clarity. Namaste...see the Divine in them, I know it might feel impossible to do this from where you are at the moment, obviously your emotional connection to your dad is clouding things and putting you in a frozen state...fuelling the rage...I would let go of your attachment to this.

Surely she cannot stop you legally from being at your Dad's funeral.

love and light

Dave

May Your Dad rest in peace.
You know what, Jen? I'm not at all in all this newage shit of nonviolence and forgiving. It would feel extremely arrogant to forgive a person for doing shit like for instance Your stepmom did; what I believe what we can forgive is only ourselves, like it is up for stepmom to forgive her-self, she didn't ask You to do it on Her behalf, right? So that place of forgiving you mention, seems to play the role of a kind of nice Satanstrial in that whole process, a process you initiated yourself for Your own self-realisation. Ya know we had some discussions here and I never felt You to be an overly non-aggressive person, lol!
(And Hitler and M.Gandhi had been nominated for the Nobel peace price(I recently heard), which however none of them received, rightfully, them patsies, lol!).

Now it seems to be Your big opportunity to accept this and prove it.
Set Your sails on the big Jenship and don't blast airholes with Your canons, ok?
Don't be a Hitler, win that war.
Jue...

My heart goes out to you, Jen.  I can see myself being beside myself with outrage, if it were me. 

I see my anger as a sign of my attachments.  In direct proportion, understandably.  When you surrender yours, do you ask to surrender all that its attached to, and all *that's* attached to?  If it doesn't surrender, you're meant to deal with it more concretely, as I'm sure you know.   

The Buddha said, "It's better to find death following one's own path than to find fame and fortune following another's."  ... hand over heart and thinking of you.

Thanks guys for your love, friendship and support. 
Yes, Dave, this is probably an ego defense mechanism as her treatment of me as a child helped wreck my self esteem.
But I dont know if that's something I want to let go of in any way, though I would like to say:
I hereby turn the process of how this unfolds and everything connected with this event over to goddess

Anywaym what I mean is, I think I need to re-build these defenses but on my own terms so as to create a new healthier state

.  I have to treat myself with love and respect and have zero tolerance for self-disriepect in order to build a healthier self esteem.  This was an issue I was working on intensively right when my dad died.  This is an opportunity for me to stick to my guns and respect myself.  So yes I hereby surrender to goddess the process, but holding a position is part of it for me, with her and in this instance.  I'm not going to cooperate with her poor treatment of me
I do respect the balue of not holding a position at times though

Yikes I was not ready to post the above and accidentaly hit enter.
Sigmund, thanks so much for the surrendering tip, I will certainly do that from now on.
and juergen, you crack me up.  You're right, I"m not that non-violent of a person 
what I meant was, peaceful *for me*
lol
maybe now
I'll surrender my ego reaction
build a new healthy protective type thingy
and surrender the pain that comes from this strife
hell, surrender the entire thing
namaste
jen

Jen! Yup! Peace for You!
Forgiving may be a term of 2 directions one with the dative and one with accusative(what an ugly word ), we seem to use here the "ugly one" lol! In the meaning of surrender(Sorry I forgot).

As long as Goddess plays theatre it is all perfect, options in boundaries, controlled experiments/experiences. As soon as we take over as Her children it is still perfect, but we tend to stretch a little till we learn more and discern and understand the value of setting boundaries and of responsibility. With discernment transgressions(Karma) become souvenirs, anger turns into love(again).
Play had turned into hate and becomes play again. The theatre ensemble reminds itself that war was just the title of their play not a commitment. Kids forget the quarrel and give one another a hug.
Embroiling partisanships(good and evil), are surrendered also.
What needs to be done is done.
Will You save us a piece of cake from the funeral?
luv ya,
juergen

I'm sorry for your loss Jen.  Just today I bumped into The Work..by Byron Katie on line.  She has a powerful yet so simple message.  I got lost in her youtube videos for the afternoon.  There is one on loss that you may find helpful...Tammy

What I am experiencing is feelings of extreme anger, rage and desire to hurt these people. (meaning also my half ister who is going along with the stepmoms wishes)  This is very unusual for me.  
I really don't know what to do with this.  I did a private session with Mystress in which she helped me to clear my anger, well ithat was before the funeral exclusion thing and now it is all back with a vengeance.  She actualy suggested I experience and not suppress my anger if I am remembering correctly.  Well my anger is making me into an enraged and useless being.  
I just saw my dad a few weeks ago and I don't think he would have wanted this.  We had a nice time together, and now he is gone.  
I feel like in a funny way this anger is trying to protect me./  It doesnt feel right to surrender it somehow.  


   'Experience and not suppress' does not mean believe the angry thoughts and stoke it into an inferno.  It means the FST exercise of naming the dragon. Feel the feelings, ignore the thoughts fuelling them.  When you can name them accurately, they shift to reveal the next layer.  When you really focus on an emotion, even the location of it in your body (emotions have locations, they are connected to various chakras plus your body will show you where the karma resides)  it will reveal it's name.  When you name it accurately, it passes, lifts from you to show the next layer of emotional baggage.
  Keep at it until you get to the core of you which is peace.

The dreamer, seeks to run from fear.. but that is as useless as trying to outrun your shadow.

The Litany against Fear, from "Dune":
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."  ~Frank Herbert.

  That is what it is. You abide, let the feelings pass. Not attach to them and stoke them up bigger.

 Of course that starts with being grounded and you cannot be angry and grounded at the same time.  Basic deal eh? Free will is the choice to love or fear.  You think you are safer angry than grounded... ?  Anger is madness; rationality and spirituality go out the window.

  The layers of anger: fear, hurt, and a part of you that does not feel worthy of love.  Anger is a type of madness, an angry person does not think clearly, and always thinks they are right and their cause is justified.  It is not a rational state and you feel and accept it in order to pacify the shadow and find out what is beneath.

 Anger is a passionate emotion, but when you are in fear you cannot love.  Giving energy to fear is a dead end.  Anger is protective?  It protects you from caring... you think that is really a good thing in the long run?

 Insecure people like anger because it feels powerful, when you are in it... of course, being a state of victimhood it is always ultimately disempowering but angry people don't think of that.  

 Read your own previous posts; we went through all this angry victim stuff in you,  months ago... and you thought you were done? Total arrogance. Welcome to the next layer.

   OK... I am going to go back a ways, and dig up some history between us in order to try to illustrate where you are at.  Believe it or not, a change from unconscious passive aggression and helplessness to a conscious desire for aggression is an improvement.  Not a great improvement, but at least your violent tendencies are conscious for a change and that *is* progress.

  Hello Shadow. You are a violent person Jennifer, and you always have been, but you repressed and denied it so your ego could pretend you were an innocent little victim while  your shadow did your dirty work for you.

  There are two types of people I cannot work with because of my disability: narcissists and passive aggressive.   In other threads, I have explained how ADD and too much empathy means that at times, my personal boundaries are weak to non-existent. Narcissists will take advantage of my vulnerability because they think they are the center of the universe and nobody else matters. Passive aggressive will trample me because they are abusive people who don't take responsibility for their actions.  They are in denial about their aggression and will insist on their innocence even when covered in the blood of their victims.

  In fact, the only way to even begin to give them a conscience is to become their victim, and I am not into that gig thanks.  Thus I am quick on the ejection seat for those folks because if they manage to wipe me out then I am not available for all the other students.

  Yet, here we are.  

 When you had barely started this course, you aimed some stuff at me that nearly got you removed and banned, ejected.  During the course we talked about how passive aggression is like alcoholism... you may not have had a drink in a decade but you still have to be mindful, and not listen to the ego monkey because you are still an alcoholic.  If you stop believing you are an alcoholic and instead listen to your reasons, excuses and justifiers as to why it is OK to have a drink,  then back into the gutter you go.

 Goddess intervened on your behalf, when I literally had my finger ready to click the ending of your membership.  She told me to wait...  I told you that if you ever pulled that sort of thing on me again you were out.  Well, you did it again, several times to varying degrees since you graduated... ironic how you waited until then eh?  That fact did not escape my notice.  

 The last time I saw you in sl before this session, you managed to upset me so badly that I could not speak, I flew away from you and logged off.  Felt like a knife in my heart, hearing your excuses for making the bad decision only twisted the knife.  It took me weeks to get over it.  I have deliberately avoided you, ever since as a way of postponing the decision to act on my previous ultimatum regarding what would happen if you aimed your passive aggression at me again.  

 Ya know Jen, two women won't even wear the same dress to a party... it is bad manners.  Someone I know as monster... (the gentlest person because as a war vet he well knows his potential for violence...)  once asked me three times over a period of an hour if I was *sure* I did not mind if he also got a copy of something I'd purchased.  That is good manners.  You did not even bother to ask.

  What really caused me to lose it was hearing to your reasons, excuses and justifiers for making your decision,  all ready made to be laid out for my approval?  Jen, the whole mental process you described as part of your decision making,  would not have happened unless you were persuading yourself to ignore your discernment.

  I know absolutely that your discernment must have been screaming at you that you were making a really hurtful choice, and what you were telling me is the excuses you decided to believe, instead.  What you made more important than honouring your discernment so that your ego and shadow could have their way.   The reasons you used to ignore your discernment in order to hurt somebody as a post graduate way of taking your power back.  

  Two other incidents: your post to Aaron, what a nasty piece of work that was, in the guise of being helpful. Have you never heard of transactional analysis?  You were talking down to him like he was a child... and exactly where did you get the idea that it is in ANY way OK  for you to tell someone what they could or could not post, on my forum!!  It is so not OK... not even a tiny bit.  I do not censor people here, it is supposed to be a safe place to express yourself.  

 I was shocked and appalled at your arrogance and wrote a long post flaming all three of you (but mostly you) that was mercifully eaten by a computer crash.  

 Aaron is bipolar... you think it is effective to try to reason with someone in the middle of a manic outburst? If he had enough self control to listen then he wouldn't be acting out.  I don't try to reason with crazy people.  Threats work sometimes, because he really needs the support of the K-list and his instinct for self preservation will moderate the mania a little, but usually I just moderate him until it passes.  

 After you graduated I saw signs of ego inflation. If anyone thinks becoming an FST grad means you are fully enlightened, get a grip!!  Please remember that is was intended to be a THREE level course, you only graduated level one... and unless your heartbeat is steady around 80bpm, you did not attain the Holy Grail.  

  A post to the K-list recently,

I just want to say that it really bums me out to hear this kind of name calling going on here in the K list.  I view this as a place where there is room for all opinions and viewpoints and that is one reason I value it so.  Sure, I've heard lots of stuff here that I don't personally agree with including some stuff that I could easily judge as "crazy" or "offensive" but I don't, because how the heck do I know what's correct?  Instead, I just choose not to engage with energies when I do not resonate with them.
Shunyananda, I really appreciated your rational, careful and considerecd response to the attacks.  Not everybody is able to do that when they get dumped inherent there guidelines about this sort of behavior?  I feel that name calling is  a violent act and does not harmonize with the open space of this list.

  Where do I begin? Emotional manipulation, making judgments while claiming not to... aloof control strategies... and again, censoring people. We all have to talk in a way that pleases you or you will get bummed and judge us.  

 You decided you were so enlightened you not longer needed to be mindful of your shadow and question your motives, when listening to your ego is so much easier.

  I don't quite understand this because last week I was in a totally different place, one where I had been living for some time.  This place was characterized by forgiveness and an understanding of the uselessness of violence.  I felt all this very deeply at the time and believed it was some sort of permanent mental shift.  

  Yes, you completely forgot all I said about passive aggression and how mindfulness of your own violence has to be a lifelong discipline, and that made it OK to start aiming it at people again.  You decided you were sooo enlightened you did not need to question your motives anymore.

  Focused on forgiveness, but there is no need for forgiveness unless there is victimhood and a belief or judgment of harm, and that is ego junk.  You made an ego  pedestal labeled forgiveness and sat on it looking down at all the people who you judged as being in need of your divine mercy and you thought that is enlightenment.  Blech!!

   E G O   I N F L A T I O N.  

 Jesus tossed the traders from the temple, and cursed a fig tree to death because it did not have any figs for him. Shri Yukteshwar, Guru of Yogananda was known for going apeshit on his students, beating and cursing them so badly they fled the ashram.  Yet Jen is more enlightened than them all eh?

   However, now I am totally enraged and not feeling that way at all.  Perhaps there is no "me" left and I just perceive/feel/think I "believe" in whatever is in keeping with what chakra I am hanging out at.  I thought I was a peaceful person, but I am not that right now

 Right, you are nothing, a Buddha abiding in serene emptiness and so all this anger must be somebody else's crap, right? Hitlers karma or something coz you are All that Is?  Get a grip.

 If you are All, then you are also your step mom.  

 Yeah walk a mile in her shoes, trying to raise a bratty little passive aggressive step child who hates and defies you, and probably "accidentally" breaks precious things and destroys what is loved, and it only gets worse if you try to correct her.  Goddess have mercy on mothers, including my own.  

  I joke to friends about why I don't have kids.. "its legal to kill them before they are born, and killing them after would be inevitable because I am not a patient person."  

   Not a very funny joke, but it illustrates that I well know my potential for violence, and I keep it front and center in my awareness. I keep an eye on it so it cannot get away with anything.  I do not put myself into situations where it could get out of control with harmful results.

  The shadow is what is hidden and denied, and in passive aggressive that shadow is their own enormous capacity for the kind of violence that is worst of all because the scars don't show and the perpetrator will never admit to doing harm or take responsibility for their results.  They sit smug in their ego assurance of their own goodness while their shadow does the dirty work of ripping someones heart out and frying it up with some fava beans...

 It is about time you faced up to, and owned the violence of your nature, because just like an alcoholic, it is the only way you can even begin to get a handle on the addiction to the sneaky cruel power game.  No more denial, no more excuses, no more pretending it is somebody else's stuff.   See the anger and the desire for harm and cruelty and know it is your very own.  Thank Goddess it is finally coming into consciousness.  

 BTW: when I teach karma vamp games I emphasise repeatedly that it is not a good healing method, and should not be used as such. It is for personal empowerment only.  The only reason I teach it at all, is for the personal empowerment of overwhelmed empaths. So they can learn to deal, and stop feeling victimized by other peoples emotions. For internal use only!!   You ignored all that for the sake of a hero ego trip, messing with people when you admit you are out of your depth is ... !!!
 evidence of an enormous ego.  

  So, I know some folks will read this and think I am horrible for spewing on you all this personal stuff when you are grieving... but I think we both know, that is not what it is.

  The stuff I am talking about is old news to me, or I'd not have agreed to a session with you.  It is all I have to offer of my personal experience of your violence, and a tough love smack upside the head to a hysterical person is compassion regardless of how it appears to the bystanders.  You are in a psychosis of spiritual ego inflation, and you have been since before you went to Mexico.  

 I did not know what would snap you out of it, I knew it would not be me because you stopped listening, so sure of your own illusory attainments.

   Something I don't say in the course, because the truth of it is just too painful for anybody to know in advance... is that the death of someone close to you is part of the Kundalini path, a crushing loss that shatters illusions and shreds most deeply cherished ego ideas that ordinary drama does not reach.  It often leads to ego death.  It is not that the person died for your sake or your benefit, it is just that Goddess is very efficient with timing events.

 For me it was my slave, whom I wrote about in the power of love lesson.  That I saw it coming 8 months in advance made it worse, because I had to face the humbling fact that all my efforts to avert his fate were useless, it was not mine to change.  

  The death of a parent is a powerful transition in anyones life, because it means it is time to grow up... still blaming your step mom for your lack of self esteem is immature.  The victim words flow out of your mouth so easily... and, you believe them?

  Tammy's suggestion of looking at Byron Katie's work, is good. It is essentially a practice of questioning the inherent truth of the thoughts that upset you... an effective way of clearing ego noise and bullshit beliefs.  

  I am sorry for your loss. Time to do some growing.
 

No Mystress, this time you are not correct about my motives or in many of the judgments you make about me.  I'm sorry I offended you buy buying the same dragon costume.  I didn't think it would be an issue.  I find this petty. I do feel you are spewing at me, and I think actually that you are the one who was being passivge aggressive about this, do you feel it is integrous to have sessions with people when you are furious at them?  I had no idea andI would have appreciated you telling me directly.
Go ahead and cancel my membership now.  I don't want to be a part of this course any more.

I wish we'd all become a bit more like Byron Katie, with Her charming relaxedness and ability to convict you at your own ego, so you can't help laughing about yourself.

No one likes to feel like they've had their pants taken off, much less in full view of the group but, who wins when we turn things into a pissing contest?

We've all entered the course because we want to further our continuing spiritual growth and unfolding.  How many of us have a one sided bargain going where we expect Mystress to not have human reactions or attachments?

How we react to what she gives is about us, not about her.  Part of taking the higher road is to transform what we don't like into things that feed us and uplift us.  For me to have her support my shortcomings, especially those I'm not aware of, as being just fine is expecting her to be dishonest. 

I've not found her to be passive agressive.  I've found her to be pointedly aggressive.  She puts it right out there so it doesn't stay in the shadows and saboutage stuff. 

This path goes more directly up the mountain than more traditional paths of the heart which while usually gentler are also much slower. 

Sometimes, she ups the ante because we aren't hearing her.  The depth of her counsel and the opportunites available for us during conflict is staggering.   ... the painful sting of Mystress's loving lash.  Ask why she'd do that. 

  Jennifer:

  You really think I could have helped you clear your own enormous anger if I was still angry, myself?  Like I said, it is old news to me or I'd not have had a session with you. I did stop and check within myself, before agreeing to  see you.  That was the cause of the short delay in my response between your request and my agreement.  

 You really think I'd have let a 1/2 hour session run more than an hour, with someone I was angry at?  Especially someone with a history of biting the hand that feeds... ?  

  My compassion is bigger than you may ever comprehend... and so I grieve for you. So long as you maintain this karma junk you will never experience it. Free will, you can be angry or you can be grounded and you choose anger.  Goddess have mercy on you.  

 I cannot hold onto anger, for the sake of my health.  I cannot hold onto *anything*;  between the FST students and the shakti charged websites, and lists and the prayers of the Hindu guys who put my pic on their altar, I might be processing incoming karma from a hundred people at any given moment and if there is any sort of blockage or ungroundedness in me, it all gets backed up and my health deteriorates very quickly.  

 It is sort of a funny irony that the obsessive component of my ADHD is kept in line by this sort of Divine blackmail...   My liver is more important to me than you, or any pixel dragon. (and I note you focused on that and ignored the other examples offered)  I continued avoiding you because I was postponing acting on my threat to remove you. Sad for me.  

 You showed great potential at the time of your graduation, I hoped you could one day become an FST teacher...  my grief that it could never be because of how your ego inflation was making you skip being mindful of your passive aggression,  was bigger than my anger at the events that showed me that truth of it.

   I cannot have a passive aggressive victim with no conscience for a teacher, I simply could not do that to the students... and I NEED talented people to enter teacher training, my intuition tells me that in the next 3 years this course will explode in popularity and without support success will overwhelm me.    

  You have made the decision to remove you,  much easier, thank you for that. I will wait a day to give you the opportunity to respond. It is only fair.

  This response is as I predicted, passive aggressive types never take responsibility for their actions or results... but, I had to try.  

 Ego inflation is dangerous enough that I considered it worth trying to smack some sense into you, as I have done in the past... which you have thanked me for, in the past... and my own shreds of ego was only a little worried that the other students would see it and think badly of me.  More concerned it would make them afraid to post...  I gave the fear to Goddess.  

 Of course, my feelings are petty, only your feelings matter... ? I wondered why the narcissist word came up in my post, had not identified that in you before but it is clear to me now!!

 Of course, you *would* go back and dispute the paypal charge with more victim noises even after posting here that you got benefit from it... coz that is the sort of person you are.  I am sorry for that... for your sake.    I cut you slack because you are grieving, and grieving people do crazy things...  Enjoy your refund. I forgive you for cheating me, but my forgiveness will not stop the karmic feedback of your actions flowing back to you, because it is yours.  

  I am just not attached to money like you are.  Be honest with yourself, how much of this anger is about your dad's death, and how much of it is about the the likelihood of not getting your inheritance?  You hated your dad for most of your life but I think you love money always... and you love it more than people, more than Goddess.

  I am obviously, overtly aggressive when I am aggressive at all, not passively aggressive. I have a hundred web pages admitting to the world that I am sadistic in my sexual orientation. Not attracted to you at all though. This was just work.  

  Overt aggression is open, it is honest, you can see it coming and deal, whereas passive aggression is sneaky and deceitful and hard to defend against.  The quote from Gandhi is on the front page of this course since the day it opened, for a reason... because it is truth:

 "It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence."

  Thats how passive aggressives are made, when children feel they cannot say no... and even worse in the adult, "amhisa" types who have a big ego idea of themselves as peaceful to protect, some of them are the most emotionally vicious, and they are the ones Gandhi was speaking to.  They hand their violence over to the shadow to do the dirty work for them and cling to victimhood, so they can hide from guilt and responsibility to protect their ego image of themselves.  

 A person with a passive aggressive streak who believes themselves to be so enlightened as to be incapable of harm, is a dangerous monster.  My fear, has always been that someone will misunderstand my teaching and become a monster... it is beyond my control; I surrender it often.  

 Jennifer... have a nice life.. bye.

There is Deep sadness in me since Mystress's reply to this post. Resonating within my power, heart and throat chakras this piercing sadness has been constant. It seems that your answers to Jennifer’s anger issues have sparked some very pertinent questions about my own being; it has clarified some shadow stuff I've been wrestling with for a while…thank you. Somehow my tummo fire is surrounding these areas and it feels like my DB is embracing the pain… just going with the flow.

Notice when I meditate, and in the early hours of the morning I’m getting images flashing at lightening speed travelling thought my third eye before they shoot out the crown.

Found a revealing link into Passive Aggressive Behaviour

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/abusiverelationships/a/Pass_Agg.htm

...additionally, its worth exploring the link on the first page for covert abuse, it also explains other types.

  I am glad other students are finding benefit in this thread.

   That is an excellent article, thank you for posting it.

  Passive aggression is an insidious behavior, at least partly because it is unconscious.  The PA type often will act sweet as pie, all the time but the behavior speaks louder... Accidents, forgetfulness, sabotage... all with "plausible deniability."  One way to identify it is how this "sweet" person triggers anger in their victims.  On some level you know you have taken a hit, and the body responds with hurt and anger but the perpetrator will never admit to it, and will usually take extreme offense at the suggestion that they are being abusive.    If the PA is intuitive, it is worse because their aim will be deadly. 

   The four basic "control dramas" that are born of a child's survival instincts, their need for parental attention energy to thrive, are deeply embedded and never really go away.  They will always show up again when your energy is low, like rocks reappearing at low tide.  There lies the value of shadow work, to get to know and embrace your dark side so when your personal demon appears again you will recognise it and know what to do:  get grounded, increase your energy so the tide is high again and the behaviors not active. 

  The difference is that as you clear your karma, cleaning the pipes and channels of your energy body, you have more abundance of life energy on a daily basis and the low tide times happen less often.  Assuming they are gone forever just because you haven't seen the rocks in a while, is a mistake.  The rocks are still there, and when life throws you a curve ball you will see them again, inevitably.  The high tide erodes them but they remain beneath.

    Blessings...