Quote from: edward on Apr 28, 2008, 02:58:48 PM


Am I in control or not? I mean, is the ego in control or not?

Should I just be the witness who is watching Edward doing his life?

Or should I fully be Edward, let him make choices and actions?

Who Am I?

Am I both the witness and Edward, and let Edward be in the main role and
let the witness watch from somewhere behind, or should I rest in the witness and let
it watch Edward?

If I let the mind rest and stop deciding joices and actions, can I trust the body
of Edward to make the right actions?


This whole thing just agitates me!


Should I give up? What is to give up?


Some insights are higly appreciated



Edward

Don't give up but do surrender.  My thoughts are like yours... It's like a chain linking one to the next round in circles, bringing up emotion after emotion and worry after worry.  You can't stop doing stuff unless you want to be a monk.  You can be mindful of your reactions to thoughts and witness them when you notice your emotions taking over.  You can't listen to your body if you thoughts are consuming so much energy. 

It feels like you desperately want to be free.  I know what that's like.  I desperately, desperalty want to wake up.  So much so I am in danger of it becoming an attachment.  All I need to do is be mindful of this.  Then I know when to witness.  For me, sometimes a technique that involves the body and sound helps me to quite the chatter.  If I get like that I know I got to do the grounding before I listen to my heart or body.  It depends on how 'surrendered' I am.  Even a few deep breaths before a reaction can be very grounding.  Easier said then done!

Do you know what EFT is? I think it could help you loads.  Look it up.  It can be very effective for emotional blocks.  If you like it and you feel in your heart that its good for you then let me know.  I am allowed to make 100 copies so you can have a copy of the foundation course if you like. 

Hi Edward,

This is where I am at the moment, it’s seems to work for me but it is a work in progress.

For me, ego is always trying to jostle for control, it is very clever and cunning, it can show up when you least expect it.

Ego can create it own watcher, ego watching ego do, watching ego do, it can go on and on and on watching and judging, like a hungry cat watching a mouse. It tries to imitate the witness state. I surrender this if it happens and ground myself.

Where your spark of consciousness, which is you, (your name if you like) is at at any particular moment depends on what is happening in that moment. Generally, I like to keep myself in the power chakra and the heart chakra, giving me respect for people’s boundaries and empathy. But if any emotional situation occurs I lift myself from my body into the witness state to keep calm and this seems to create space for me to understand what is being communication without getting emotional about it…seeing what the big deal is all about, usually I laugh about it, seeing the funny side of things, the irony. Then surrender follows until the shit has lifted and then I return to my body.

I find it hard to attach myself to my name, because it disconnects me from all that is too much, so I have surrendered my name and all of the ideas, hopes and dreams of myself to Goddess and try to somehow find a way of integrating with integrity within society as love and light. Obviously, if someone shouted my name I know who they mean, but I see it as a necessary label that is there for me to live in this existence.

Try this: first connect to your spark of consciousness, which is you (Edward) if you focus on an object and see it as a solid and definite thing, it connects to your ego and you then physically and emotionally also become a solid and definite thing (which is ego). Alternatively, if you view the same object and see the emptiness of it (space it out) this is then mirrored in you as all that is, no concepts just transparent space, “the connection to divinity”...there is a definite difference.

Ego won’t like you to be in the witness state because you are detached, so it won’t get a feed, that’s why it will try to deceive you with self deception and imitate the witness state. Grounding exercise seems to sort this problem out perfectly, because the ego’s watcher cannot function when you are grounded properly and automatically fall away, waiting for a moment of weakness so it can raise it ugly head again.

Trust in your D.B. and your inner voice which works your body…give up ego that wants to.

Namaste!

Dave.

Just read the post I sent you, sorry might of confussed things...

Where your spark of consciousness, which is you, (your name if you like)

should read; Where your spark of consciousness is...that is you.  Your name is connected to ego...all you think you are. The real you is the feel of the spark. But what I do is simply change my perception and my name is the spark...if that makes sense.

Did say its a work in progress...so difficult to explain how these things feel.

All the best...

Should I give up? What is to give up?

give up? --- Never!
give up? --- Always! Everything!


I think the best occupation for the mind is similar to reading, especially reading music. One only reads what is actually played(and enjoyed). Memory can be totally cleared of music, it's enough to be occupied with the art of reading; when the 'music notes' call for the Witness, She appears...etc.

This may be equivalent to the 'eternal moment', Lexx has just mentioned.

Juergen

Thank you for your support guys!

This stuff doesn't seem important any longer. Everything passes.

Somehow I feel there's nothing to worry about. I don't know what's going to happen. Now or in
the future. All I know is what I've experienced, I am taken care of, and things always turn out
better than ever imagined.


Edward

  Things got a lot more peaceful once you got the hang of staying turned inward, huh?
     Blessings...