For almost 2 years, as the energy was working  mostly in my upper chakers, I was able to watch my thoughts create my reality and it was wonderful.  Now, as it works through my lower chakers I struggle between surrender to what is coming up and what I am suppose to be doing to create my reality.  My desire to do much of anything has gone and a deep saddness has taken the place of bliss.  Do my thoughts still create my reality? Are the sad feelings and thoughts creating more saddness in my life?  What is the balance between surrender and acceptance of responsibility for my thoughts and my life...much of which I feel so powerless over right now? I can't seem to find any motivation to read..eat..play..laugh...but there are many many tears.  On the up side..its a great weight loss program     Any advice would be appreciated.  Tammy

  Aw darlin, I know that road all too well. Everything goes ass backward once the snakes wake eh? 

Accept responsibility in order to surrender it.
"This is *my* stuff.
Goddess take it, it is a gift for you."

  Blessings.

Thank you, and thank you for the FST course.  I am now doing the course from an entirely different perspective.  Tammy

Hi Tam,

Just to say - sympathy too - been having similar stuff - I have wept so much and felt so blue I could die - after all the elation as well.......hard to accept (I just posted to the waves thread on this kind of thing) - keep going I guess we're doing fine even when we don't think so, so long as we're doing what we know in our hearts is what we have to do.......all good...lots of love

Hollyberry

P.S. I think the upper chakras when not balanced by the lower ones can create a lot of illusion or self delusion, like I think I was living in a bit too much fantasy of bliss and when I deal with the lower ones I got a real reality check and suddenly life seemed really really really tough - like all the hope & belief just evaporated and all my will to live just f....d off - getting a feeling it might still be there somewhere though - keep on truckin kid

upper like uppity?
From a song i remember the line: Pride comes before you take a fall.
I've experienced this fall as the belief, to have left the train at the wrong station and to better jump on the train again, as soon as possible.
Then i become aware of absolutely beautiful people and gestures down here, how love can be perceived  by receiving as well as by giving;  and then to leave prematurely don't just feel right.

I think the key to become a happier more balanced person, is to understand, separation(ego),  and understand its hidden price as well, its hidden shadow side(the key to the key).
Then it can't do harm to look for ego's value, what motivates us for desiring or accepting ego, what motivates us to hide its price from ourselves, at least there must be something in it.

Seems to work best when grounded. To make use of it regularly, is partly discipline, but also an important step to overcome my pride.

btw.: Kundalini primer came just timely. Goddess provides!