I thought to post this in order that input from others might help me to see something that I've missed.

Adopting the perspective that life is a mirror of my self has been very helpful in changing unuseful patterns and behaviors.  Of course this is a continual process.  Over the past 3 years I have had numerous 'encounters' with schizophrenics.  Some as casual passing by type meetings, and others more involved.  For instance, most recently, a schizophrenic man has come as a client.  I know this is an indication of something in me that I need to recognize, but I seem to be missing something.  And by the way, I don't necessarily see these encounters as bad or anything...just interesting.  A reflection.   Schizophrenics come with varying 'symptoms.'  I've not encountered the multiple personality type.  The folks that I've attracted into my world have all been paranoid schizophrenics, with an 'external' entity or entities being in control, and of course the world is out to get them.

When I look at this in general, I see that schizophrenics:
     1.  have been completely disempowered (usually because of trauma)
     2.  are fearful
     3.  refuse to take personal responsibility (blame others for their misery/fear)
     4.  are angry
     5.  are unable to distinguish what is 'real'
     6.  do not trust anyone - the world is a dangerous place.

So I look at these tendencies and ask, how is this me?  Then I go after the reflection and change it to something more useful.

As I've recently (this past week) attracted this latest man into my practice, it's obvious that there are plenty of things left for me to resolve within myself.  At least that's the way I see it.  And, this particular man - I've worked with him in the past...2 years ago I did massage for him a few times when I was working at a chiropractic clinic...  He 'found' me again recently as I have my own business now, and he was seeking the PSYCH-K services that I use in my practice.

For perspective, this 'reflection' is but one facet of my life.  Right now, because I have made SOOOOO many changes, my life is truly amazing.  I have a wonderful, growing business, I live in a beautiful place out in farm land on acres...a vinyard is my front view, which carpets an expanse up toward a mountain pass.  I have amazing, wonderful friends and associations in my life, I am HAPPY, I feel great, and life just flows magically!  I am truly blessed, and have learned many many lessons about how to CREATE beauty in life. 

So this schizophrenic thing is a very curious reflection for me.  Not in a judgmental way...just as an indication of some things that need tidying up.  Yet it's a fairly important thing!

AND - this has me coming back to what Mystress said over and over about keeping it clean.  This has been on my mind much lately.  It's an area I need to spend more time working with, especially in my profession.  Fortunately, I am blessed with a beautiful place close to nature where I live, where I can ground things and take in the wonderful life of it all.  An outside perspective though is always appreciated. 

Thank you for holding up a mirror for me!
Blessings!
Eileen

This post is not just a mirror for you, but a mirror for me as well?  That's why I felt it so compelling to read and respond to. Let me share my own experience.

Who hasn't experienced those things on the list you wrote?  What ego doesn't have those qualities, to one extent or the other, conscious or unconscious?  FST is very much about shifting the focus of power from blaming situations around you, to finding the center of power in yourself.  You obviously already have, but we are infinite and with endless depth!

Is there really any of us who doesn't have a little bit of schizophrenia inside? Jugdemental or fearful voices, blame on external circumstances, fears and phobias, feeling of powerlessness and so on.

Let me ask you a question:

Can you see your schizophrenic client as Goddess, and not mistake the schizophrenia as who he or she really is?  It's probably easy to say yes at first, but then realize that it can be difficult, since the symptoms are so intense. Correct me if I am wrong. I am not a psychologist or health professional. I won't give that sort of reflections, but existential ones, since those are universal no matter what field we are in.  Imagine this!  If you fully with your heart see Goddess in the schizophrenic, you see it in yourself, and vice versa, maybe it will grow deep compassion for things you avoid seeing in yourself as well. Wouldn't that be an incredible gift?

Let me ask you another question:

Turn it around and ask not only why you have attracted them, but why do they come to you?  What in their lives attracts you to them, what do they feel you can do for them?  On any level, really.

I get the feeling to look into your heart in this matter. But the strongest impression I get is to look for Goddess in these people.

Thank you so much for your post! Just reading your post and then after editing my response for the 10th time, seeing my current fears with deeper compassion. Ah the wonder workings of Goddess!

Maybe some of it is useful.

Namaste
Gustaf

Gustaf wrote:
"FST is very much about shifting the focus of power from blaming situations around you, to finding the center of power in yourself.  You obviously already have, but we are infinite and with endless depth!"

Thank you Gustaf, for your comments.  It is so refreshing to experience that wonderful balance of the feminine coming forth from a man!  I enjoy that, which is probably why so many of my friends are gay men.

Anyway, as per the above quote, I certainly DO have considerable work to do in finding the center of power within.  This too has been reflected in my clients.  There is a noticable difference now, in that the new clients who are coming into my practice are more proactive in their own health care, and are getting it right up front that they can make wonderful change for themselves by taking responsibility, and making inner changes.  But here and there I'm reminded that there is still 'work' to do in this area as a client appears or a person in my life displays the opposite.

I perceive that inner power is quite specifically - one's capacity to know, experientially, that one creates (all of) their reality.  Taking full power = taking full responsibility....  Being forgiving and compassionate with one's self when mistakes are made (and they will be) and yet, continuing on with confidence, creating life the best one knows how.  Creating life with love of self, in a healthy way.  In order to do this, one has to be quite mindful of their thoughts, intentions and desires.  Once the goo is rooted from life, the natural, effortless creation of beauty flows as desired.

For me, adopting that perception/behavior is the reason WHY my life has gone from being rather messy and sucky and angry, to being beautiful and fun and wonderous.

With that in mind....
  "Imagine this!  If you fully with your heart see Goddess in the schizophrenic, you see it in yourself, and vice versa, maybe it will grow deep compassion for things you avoid seeing in yourself as well. Wouldn't that be an incredible gift?"
Turn it around and ask not only why you have attracted them, but why do they come to you?  What in their lives attracts you to them, what do they feel you can do for them?  On any level, really.

  Well, this isn't exactly how I was seeing the schizophrenic folks who have come into my life, so it's worth spending the effort to do so.  It's a good suggestion.

I was seeing the schizophrenic people as barometers of my progress really.  As I see virtually everything external.  I have adopted the practice of seeing EVERYTHING as my creation...as a reflection of my self.  Call it Goddess if you will, but you're right...that is a slightly different twist and one I need to work with.  Essentially I've been looking for what I've missed, in seeing my reflection.  All of the things that I listed in the first post as characteristics, I've been working diligently on in my personal work.  As you said, we have depth to us!  Layers.  It just seems that there is something I've missed.  Something in me that is being reflected in these people, that will be helpful for me to understand and integrate.

I have no shortage of compassion for a schizophrenic person.  I have not yet met a single one who has not suffered horrid trauma and pain in their lives.  Usually when they are very very small.  They are tormented continuously by a fragment of themselves, relentlessly forcing them to re-live pain on and on.  Memories that have taken on form in their minds.  I cannot help a schizophrenic person except to just provide a little space if they come to me.  But that is a very delicate walk because if I gain their trust, then they try to attach - try to make me responsible for helping them get better.  If I hold a boundry strong (and I have to) then they inevitably become fearful/angry with me. 

Hey, maybe that's it.  I think I just answered my own search! 

yep.  that's it.

Okay, that wasn't difficult. 

To clarify, I never try to fix or heal or help a schizophrenic person.  Their fear generally won't let them help themselves.  This latest man who has has come recently - the session we did went surprisingly well.  Usually their subconscious won't cooperate and you can't even get through a session, but this man actually responded.  I have no control over that, and only go with the flow and let whatever happens just happen...  I have no attachment to what a person does because it's literally their own mind leading them through each session, and their responsibility to want to make changes in life.  (Which is why I love this therapy.  It's a great addition to massage.)  Will this man be able to make change?  Donno.  Doesn't matter, because it just is what it is.  He, in this case, is trying to attach now because he trusts me.   The question is, how do I handle me? 

But you know, I think this is all about boundaries for me.  It may not be the only thing, but I suspect that's the brunt of it.  Hmmmmm.  Still open for more insights if they're available, because there are many things to be learned from such relations!  Powerful lessons!  Extreme example, ya think?

One thing I have been putting effort into as well related to this subject, is something that has come up several times and resonates very strongly with me...and I've done my best to practice it as well as I can understand it.  That is to practice the Ho'ooponopono forgiveness.  I am so grateful that it was introduced to me/us on this list!

Thank you again Gustaf for your insights.  Life is amazing, isn't it?
Blessings!
eileen 

   A schizophrenic man whose relatives lived down the street from us in our old house, smashed a window one evening as druid and I were cooking dinner.  We heard a noise, went downstairs to investigate and here is this guy with a stick smashing the sidelight window by the door.  The door itself, was unlocked... so.. ??

   He had hallucinated that he saw us taking his aunt from our pickup truck parked outside, dragging her into the house and that he could hear her screams as we were torturing her in the upstairs livingroom... (which actually was my playroom, so I noted that he had picked up on the carefully disguised  torture chamber aspect... the rest of it, I cannot account for. ) I did not know his aunt, though I had seen her, a elderly woman in a sari walking with her husband (slightly behind him actually) in the evenings. 

  druid is miraculous with animals and crazy people.  he talked to the man and calmed him down while I quietly slipped into the next room to call the police.  It was quite funny, because when I got through, druid had invited the guy in and had him sweeping up the broken glass.  Police are asking where is the dangerous crazy man and they sounded very urgent when I said he was in the house.  I had to calm them down and explain he was busy sweeping up broken glass and apologizing. druid was keeping him busy until the cops arrived.

    So the Police came, told us his relatives  had a restraining order against him, he was not allowed to be on our street. He said the restraining order was cauncelled.   We agreed not to press charges if he paid for the window,... which he never did, of course.   The police said they would put in for him to get a psyche evaluation, which sounded like the best course of action.

  Did not end the strange occurrences, I would sometimes see him standing in the middle of the alley, watching the house intently, or walking past over and over, staring.  I remember one night, staring him down through the upstairs window thinking, "go away."

  The next night he knocks on my door talking about the conversation we had.  I did not know what he was talking about and he said if I did not remember then he is crazy?  It was only later I realized it was more than "go away" .. a telepathic exchange that he had heard as aloud, through a closed door across 40 feet of backyard.

    Yeah, I know, sounds like wayward K.  Goddess brings me a student? Eh, no thanks.  I would pick up on him sometimes, his mind was full of violence and fear. Surrender stuff, but ...

   I'm not made to be infantry on the front lines of compassion.  There are times in the past I went to bat for people until empathy with their resistance or insanity brought me near to a nervous breakdown, and I accept I am not the type to be serving in a soup kitchen, or mopping blood off Mother Theresa's floors.  So for me, his presence in my life was to help me get clear on my boundaries, sharpen my focus about what is my calling.
   Glad I got out of that neighborhood too. Never liked east Van.

   In the late 80's I had a bachelor suite in an old converted boarding house. My neighbor across the hall in the tiniest room was a shy fey schizophrenic woman who would be apologizing for a week if you so much as looked at her sideways.  I left my door unlocked all the time so she could use my phone.  She loved to visit the Hari Krishna's temple.  I think they took her in, finally.  I was happy she found a place among gentle people who would care for her.   

   Your list of schizophrenic qualities could be used to describe the essential nature of the ego itself.  Not hard to find the mirror... you may want to consider whether it is reflection, or navigation.  As a healing professional, it is important to get clear in yourself about what type of people you want for clients. 

  With schizophrenics, the meds work but when they work the patient thinks they are cured and stops taking their pills.  They really need full time care and supervision.

  I am interested in the healing claims of the Ho'oponopono proponents, with regard to curing this type of severe mental illness.., but a little skeptical. 

   Blessings...   

Quote from: Mystress on Sep 24, 2007, 12:57:35 PM
 Your list of schizophrenic qualities could be used to describe the essential nature of the ego itself.  Not hard to find the mirror... you may want to consider whether it is reflection, or navigation.  As a healing professional, it is important to get clear in yourself about what type of people you want for clients. 
  I am interested in the healing claims of the Ho'oponopono proponents, with regard to curing this type of severe mental illness.., but a little skeptical. 

It's a bit of a relief to find that I'm not the only one who's had multiple encounters with this type of thing. 

Yes, that list I made describes a lot of 'ego' in a general sense, but I was kind of putting it there as a note of reference, indicating the stuff that I had been looking at internally.  Was looking for the items that weren't listed...in order to dissolve and integrate the lesson.  Turned out to be the boundary issue, but much more as well.  Putting the question 'out there' opened the door for insights.  I think it's important to have the group mind effect when it comes to helping ourselves resolve things.  Those who read the post and gave my question some thought, in a sense, helped me to see the answers.  This is a very sacred space and our thoughts do contribute to the whole.  At least that's the way I see it.  I am grateful for the space, and everyone who shares it.

I knew that once I got it (in my mind), the issue would resolve itself.  I knew this man would, once I figured this out, either improve dramatically, or go away.  He had been leaving messages throughout the weekend (long, schizophrenic ones), which I ignored, but did not resist.  Sure enough, he decided to cancel, and not pursue further therapy.  When I talked with him yesterday morning to confirm the cancellation, he asked me why I didn't seem bothered by the fact that he was cancelling.  "Don't you care about us clients?"  I said, yes, that I care about all of my clients, but that I also care about myself and therefore do not take their problems on as my own."  He did not resist that statement.  It is done.

But I'd like to mention a very important lesson that came from this.  Pressure has been building for some time and I've been bouncing different things around in an attempt to understand the issue at the heart of it.  Mystress, when you say that everything is 'ourselves reflected' I take it literally, and it has been a worthwhile understanding to grasp in the literal sense.   

I realized that I have, ever since a very young age, projected that ANY teacher who comes into my world is supposed to be perfect.  They are supposed to be all-knowing, walk their talk perfectly, and have all the answers.  Teachers, in my previous belief/view, could not be human, could not make mistakes, and could not ever show signs of faultering.  YIKES!

AND....when a teacher would then faulter in some way, and dissappoint me, then I would, of course, grow angry with them and feel superior.  What do we do when we get angry?  We fight, resist, say angry things, and find lots and lots of fault with them. 

Over the past couple years I've managed to change this perspective quite significantly, but there have apparently been lingering bits of it way down deep, embedded in there somewhere.  Of course, it's all about personal acceptance.  Forgiveness, self love, etc.   But until I could actually see what I was doing, I couldn't go after it. 

Because I've come a long ways, and gained compassion, forgiveness, etc. for myself, I feel the same way about others...and especially those who are gutsy enough to stick their neck on the chopping block and teach.  To be human, to be imperfect...and still to serve.  The reflection came as one person being disrespectful to Mystress, but there have been others as well.  When I realized WHY they were throwing darts at Mystress, I then was able to see my own reflection...and to heal it. 

I wondered if others have felt this way..  How do we feel when our teachers are real?  Human?  And really, who are our teachers?  Everyone, and everything.  If we see it that way.  Sometimes the most powerful teachers are the most dysfunctional people.  (even schizophrenics, or angry people)  Nevertheless, we all are people.  We all deserve respect. 

And I'm glad that you mentioned (in the quote above) that this was possibly navigation, as well as reflection.  It is.  I needed to look at it that way.  Powerful lesson.   I now see the patterns in each of the encounters with these people who have come into my life much more clearly.

As to the Ho'oponopono, I do believe that it can cure this type of mental illness...because it's not working in the frame of duality.  I may not be right here, but my perception is that if the one using the Ho'oponopono knows, experiencially, who they really are, they will do it.  I'm not at that place yet.  But the humility that comes from the practice helps me to heal.  I know that when I heal my self, it is reflected in my outer world.

There is a book I read recently called "The World Is As You Dream It" by John Perkins.  Poor writing, in my opinion, and it appears that the author doesn't quite get what he was taught and writes about in the book.  However, the teachings that he presents, as given by South American shamans, provides solid clues and vast understanding, for those who can grasp it, about the nature of reality.  What I gleaned from the book, along with the bits I've been able to grasp about the Ho'oponopono, combine to make a lot of sense to me.  May not for others, but the information has been helpful for me.

Thank you all again, for helping me to see and understand this reflection.  It's been a long, powerful learning.
Blessings!
Eileen

It's always incredible to see someone answer their own questions.  So many of these posts (including my own) often just needs a little nudge for that last puzzle piece to fall into place (Or out of place so it can all collapse) (Yikes, more contradictions, lol)

Boundary makes sense!  I could only imagine the razor's edge you have to tread when dealing with those clients!

Namaste
Gustaf