Lately i have been attempting to get more in touch with my divine beloved.  I have been asking to do this in dreams, with somewhat amusing results.
He usually shows up as a musician.  This seems to make sense, because i am a musician.  Never really dated other musicians, tho.
He also usually shows up pretty fucked up.  A few times, he was a junkie.  Then that stopped, and he began to manifest with other problems.  Most recently, he revealed to me that he has a severe form of venereal disease.  "You have to wear a condom," I replied.
The way I am interpreting this, is that since the DB is really my unconscious, these dreams are telling me that my unconscious is sick.  Maybe the junkie times were a metaphor for my victim mentality which is also an addiction.  And then when I addressed that, it shifted?  That is just my guess.  The meaning of the VD thing is still a mystery!
I  wonder, is there a connection between the DB and the shadow?  And how can I help my DB/unconscious to heal and become healthy again?
I am aware that for a long time I have seen my unconscious as the enemy in some ways, because of the behavior patterns it holds, which sometimes feel out of my control and feel opposite to what my conscious mind wants.  But that seems to be shifting for me too, with much less opposition lately....however I did have atendency to self-attack severely for many many years, as evidenced by my victimhood.
I'm not doing that any more, and when I do I try to stop immediately...I am ready to become whole with my DB and heal us, but don't know how.

  I think it is hilarious that your DB shows up wearing your karma, the symbolic communication is wonderfully clear.  Mine usually shows up as a human archangel, perfect even when mussed.

  In the language of the unconscious, sexuality represents intimacy in all forms, including empathy.  The DB also represents the body, and the body doesn't like carrying other folks karma... it doesn't even like carrying the ego's own karma and longs to be free of it. "You have to wear a condom," LOL!  You are not quite clear on the concept of surrender, eh?

  Connection? Well, they are both aspects of the unconscious, but one represents the body mind and your Divine self, and the other represents the boundary between ego and All, everything you think that you are not.

   Your DB is fine, he is just wearing your karma like a coat to send you a message on what needs attention.  We talked about the pattern in your session. Low energy/lack of connection/low self esteem - > control dramas ->  energetic entanglements, taking on stuff from people along with the vampire food. 
 
  So, if a crack whore sells herself for crack, what do you call a... ?   

    Blessings...

Yeah, it's pretty humorous.  It seems so obvious, but I did not realize that of course to heal my DB I just work to heal myself.  And that really, my DB is not in need of healing.  I  feel that I created my addiction or whatever you want to call it, vampirism, because no bonding occurred between me and my mother when I was an infant.  So I kept looking and looking to others.  Some would have done differently, turn inward and walled up.
What do you call it?  Well the crack whore, when he/she gets crack, is satisfied, at least temporarily.  A need like this, nothing external can fill.  Trying to fill the black hole only makes it worse.  So, I sold myself over and over again for nothing.  The only thing that stops this kind of addiction is connection to goddess. like we talked about.
Anyway, i mainly jusst brought this up because I thought you might find it amusing.  Thanks for your comments.

   Well, I hope you don't think I was making fun of you.  It is a funny incident, the Divine Beloved does have a sense of humour... but the clarity of the communication is a gift!!

  Your DB is showing you, what is to be surrendered. Hand it over to him, let him heal you.
   Blessings...
 

No, I didn't think you were making fun of me at all, because I find it very amusing also....

.....and I suppose, after consideration, that I do know what this would be called.....just took me some time to figure the right way to put it. A crack whore participates in an exchange, quid pro quo....and the deal is usually straghtforward with specified parameters....it's something different when you just give it away, with no deal stated....there's no telling what will come back in return. So I guess what we are describing would be called "energy slut".  Ouch!!! 

So, if a crack whore sells herself for crack, what do you call a...

person who sells themself for karma ?

the whore is said to be the first profession of all, and one designation in german for whore is: "Professionelle". Indeed every job is thus a selling oneself, or in other words a whore.

Thus it would no way lessen my respect for Teacher, to view Her as a Karma Whore, hope this goes not pi degrees wrong  !

j.

Thanks, but I prefer Karma Vampire.

Thanks, but I prefer Karma Vampire.

Oh yes that's million times better!

My meadows are flushing crimson, i must feel indebted to whores, or something, maybe the grandma i never saw a pic from or heard her prename.

But whore just doesn't sound good, collective magic thing i s'ppose.

Vampires got much a higher status, logically.

Now You are tracked down, only good this is a Buffy-free zone!
Drusilla is much more exciting anyway.