Hi!
I%rsquom new here, signed in few weeks ago. It%rsquos been amazing ride so far! When I had already signed in this course, I remembered that I have seen Mystress when being half sleep first time over a year ago. First one was about Mystress showing up with her friends and I got an orgasm. I was upset about it but Mystress said that I should relax because you just want to make me feel good
After signing in, dreams and visions have multiplied. Sometimes it gets hard because I have issues about trust and self esteem. First I hurried the lessons, but then I backed of and realized that actually I don%rsquot gain much if I speed. I would loose all the fun, and lots of small details. Just learning to be grounded, I get that a bit now. And I do have a son to take care of now. Sometimes I feel that I have willingly signed my own death sentence, stepped into a trap from where I%rsquom not going out alive. Trusting that it%rsquos pure love is the thing to my worn out ego. Again.
Last night when you had chat party I received extremely intensive healing into my first chakra area. It radiates now raw intense sexual energy, which feels good. I realized that it%rsquos the same energy that has years flooded over me feeling like terror and death. I%rsquom really, really happy about this! Now I found out, with your generous help, that it%rsquos just raw energy, spiced up with my fear of death. Am I right?
Paranoia is in the air, but it%rsquos no news. I%rsquove been years trying to resist what%rsquos happening to me and I%rsquom tired. I lost almost all the magic when I managed to put my life more back to %ldquonormal%rdquo. I%rsquom a slave to this and I should learn to be happy about it!

Congratulations, Mari on all you've been through.  I'm feeling uplifted myself just by reading your report.  I'm happy you're getting tuned in to what's yours and without judgements.  So much easier than fretting.  

Enjoy your trip.  Thanks for the post card.  :~~>

: Hi!
: I%rsquom new here, signed in few weeks ago. It%rsquos been amazing ride so far! When I had already signed in this course, I remembered that I have seen Mystress when being half sleep first time over a year ago. First one was about Mystress showing up with her friends and I got an orgasm. I was upset about it but Mystress said that I should relax because you just want to make me feel good

That does not sound like something I would do... my higher self is very respectful of boundaries... unless you mean feeling the energy gave you an orgasm... even then...? May have been your inner guidance wearing my face.  

: After signing in, dreams and visions have multiplied. Sometimes it gets hard because I have issues about trust and self esteem. First I hurried the lessons, but then I backed of and realized that actually I don%rsquot gain much if I speed. I would loose all the fun, and lots of small details.

Yeah it is true!

:Just learning to be grounded, I get that a bit now. And I do have a son to take care of now. Sometimes I feel that I have willingly signed my own death sentence, stepped into a trap from where I%rsquom not going out alive.

Heh, that is true too... where your ego is concerned!

: Trusting that it%rsquos pure love is the thing to my worn out ego. Again.

Yeah it is all love.

: Last night when you had chat party I received extremely intensive healing into my first chakra area. It radiates now raw intense sexual energy, which feels good. I realized that it%rsquos the same energy that has years flooded over me feeling like terror and death. I%rsquom really, really happy about this! Now I found out, with your generous help, that it%rsquos just raw energy, spiced up with my fear of death. Am I right?

Yes. Sex and death are inextricably intertwined. In fact, creatures that reproduce without sex, don't die. An ameoba divides and becomes two, and is therefore immortal. Individual ameobas may die, be eaten,  but the original lives on in all the clones.
 The French call orgasm "le petit morte" the little death.

 I am gald you enjoyed the chat. It was fun! I overdid it a little though, showing off... Energy hangover, karma incoming from too much Shaktipat. Today I feel like an old dishrag... a cranky, moody dishrag!  It is fading though. Food for the Serpent.  

: Paranoia is in the air, but it%rsquos no news. I%rsquove been years trying to resist what%rsquos happening to me and I%rsquom tired. I lost almost all the magic when I managed to put my life more back to %ldquonormal%rdquo. I%rsquom a slave to this and I should learn to be happy about it!

Slave to Goddess is a heck of a trip! I highly recommend it. Blessings!

Thanks MAS and Sigmund!
I'm so gratefull that I was guided here. I have worked with some blocks already. I just hope my arrogance doesn't make me to eat bigger cake that I'm actually ready. I've been praying for some time to get help for healing my ugly pride and sexuality. Well, thank you! Karma comes like waves, one step at a time. I feel so much love around me, and when I start to surrender, I can talk with an angel and he comforts me.
Now I really wait for Tummo initiation!