Sigh. Guess I'm still at low level spiritual work, because my sex chakra is the most active, charged one at the moment.

The email guy came in town, and our old passion was rekindled, well that putting it mildly, ignited like a nuclear blast would be more like it. However, tho I was physically ready to jump down the rabbitt hole to Wonderland, I didn't feel emotionally ready. We made out, which was insanely fabulous -- he's such a great kisser -- but then we cooled it till another weekend. I needed time to be with this new energy and think about things.

Also, he appeared, and looked just like a slightly pudgy middle-age guy, and at first I wasn't very attracted to him. But we say on my couch and read old letters from the late 60's, and that was such a cool way to reconnect. In no time at all, I was attracted to his head and heart and eyes, and I've never been able to do that before. I guess partyly, because we had this strong connection from the past, and partly because we've been emailing for a month, so I'm very in tune with his sensibility.

Normally, if I'd just met him, his physical appearance would keep me uninterested. Makes me thing a lot about my preconceptions about stuff, and how I've shut things out of my life for stupid superficial reasons.

Oh Barg thou hast been foolish!

Now we are emailing beautiful tender emails everyday, and he's coming up again in a few weeks. He's leaving is wife definitely, they've already scheduled a family meeting at the end of March to discuss it with their kids. That's another thing I like about him so much. He doens't feel the need to trash his wife. He speaks about her with great respect as the mother of his children, he just says there's no love there and she's very depressed.

They were going to break up 3 years ago, had put the house on the market, but then she was in a horrible car accident, and needed care, and he felt he should help her recover before they split. That tells me a lot about who he is.

Also, I'm not rushing out to buy a wedding dress. It's also very unlike me, but I have no plans for our future. I have no idea what this is going to be, but I'm really in the present with this and REALLY enjoying the sexual charge and sweetness and mystery of it all. I'm in this very sweetly chimed place, and that's all that matters at the moment.

It's so weird, this whole thing. My whole way of being in it. Could I possibly be obtaining wisdom and lack of obsessive neuroticism?

Wow.

Barg

: Sigh. Guess I'm still at low level spiritual work, because my sex chakra is the most active, charged one at the moment.

Nothing wrong with that.. spring fever.. Sex is sacred.

: Normally, if I'd just met him, his physical appearance would keep me uninterested. Makes me thing a lot about my preconceptions about stuff, and how I've shut things out of my life for stupid superficial reasons.

: Oh Barg thou hast been foolish!
: It's so weird, this whole thing. My whole way of being in it. Could I possibly be obtaining wisdom and lack of obsessive neuroticism?

Yeah.. could be.. I dated a ton of good looking guys, but my # 1 is a bald geek with a big nose and I've never been happier! I call him my druid because he makes me feel like a Goddess.
   Blessings..