I haven't posted here for awhile.  My wife and I moved the cpmputer upstaris so we could use the study downstair for a bedroom.  I'm not entirely comfortable working on this stuff in the familyroom where there are a lot of distractions.  Also the topic of this letter is very personal, so I would rather deal with it privately.  Last week Mystress reminded me that questions addressing issues of this course need to be delt with in this forum.  (Now my son is practising piano, so I'm having a hard time thinking.  This is impossible.)

There, he stopped.  A few weeks ago I did the lesson called the mirror game.  I remembered the warning that a few faces might appear that would make me uncomfortable.  Well, a series for faces came most were pretty normal, some were ugly, a few were bizzare.  Then the face of Jesus appeared.  He was smiling as if he was happy to see me again.  That kind of upset me, and I shook my head and rubbed my eyes.  When I looked back in the mirror that image came back.  I stared at it for a couple of minutes, then I went to bed.  That was disturbing to me because I wasn't aware that he even liked me.  So why should he appear to me when I am so full of doubts about him?

Without going into detail I've been very religeous and faithful all my life.  I've made extraordinary effort to serve jesus even though it has cost me dearly.  But when I needed help in dealing with the problems I acquired while serving jesus, I was rejected and humiliated.  Not just once, but many times.  And not just at a local level in church govenmennt, at all levels from top to bottom.  I got the attitide if these guys claim to represent Jesus, then their actions reflect on Jesus.  So I got the feeling Jesus must be selective about his friends.  And I wasn't one of them.

I decided to go my own way.  But now Jesus shows up acting like he's my friend.  It pisses me off.

So if anyone could comment . . .

If you ask Jesus to take a hike I think he will humbly go away.

My advice: release your expectations of Jesus. He is probably pretty cool, not like you expected him to be in the past. And also, make sure the Jesus showing up isn't an entity doing an impersonation.

Scott

: I decided to go my own way.  But now Jesus shows up acting like he's my friend.  It pisses me off.

: So if anyone could comment . . .

One thing I notice from your post... you seem to equate Jesus with a Church or Religion. Don't! Jesus is an enlightened being.  The Church/Religion is some human beings attempt to use that enlightened beings teachings.  The two are completely seperate.  

You seem to have an upset with this "Church/Religion". Do not confuse that with the Jesus you see.  Give the Church/religion up to Goddess and find out what it is this Jesus is trying to tell you.  Maybe he is glad you are finally on a path to follow in His footsteps rather than what some holier than thou religion wants you to believe is His footsteps.

The more I study what Jesus had to say, the more I see how the Church has tried to alter it.

Love and Light!

b0b  

: I haven't posted here for awhile.  My wife and I moved the cpmputer upstaris so we could use the study downstair for a bedroom.  I'm not entirely comfortable working on this stuff in the familyroom where there are a lot of distractions.  Also the topic of this letter is very personal, so I would rather deal with it privately.  Last week Mystress reminded me that questions addressing issues of this course need to be delt with in this forum.  (Now my son is practising piano, so I'm having a hard time thinking.  This is impossible.)

: There, he stopped.  A few weeks ago I did the lesson called the mirror game.  I remembered the warning that a few faces might appear that would make me uncomfortable.  Well, a series for faces came most were pretty normal, some were ugly, a few were bizzare.  Then the face of Jesus appeared.  He was smiling as if he was happy to see me again.  That kind of upset me, and I shook my head and rubbed my eyes.  When I looked back in the mirror that image came back.  I stared at it for a couple of minutes, then I went to bed.  That was disturbing to me because I wasn't aware that he even liked me.  So why should he appear to me when I am so full of doubts about him?

: Without going into detail I've been very religeous and faithful all my life.  I've made extraordinary effort to serve jesus even though it has cost me dearly.  But when I needed help in dealing with the problems I acquired while serving jesus, I was rejected and humiliated.  Not just once, but many times.  And not just at a local level in church govenmennt, at all levels from top to bottom.  I got the attitide if these guys claim to represent Jesus, then their actions reflect on Jesus.  So I got the feeling Jesus must be selective about his friends.  And I wasn't one of them.

: I decided to go my own way.  But now Jesus shows up acting like he's my friend.  It pisses me off.

: So if anyone could comment . . .

:Good advise from both of you.  Thank you.  Give me something to think about.