The last weeks I have bee digging deeper and deeper into my major complex of issues, which is probably mostly related to my power chakra:
- my tendency to believe that anything is possible (and thus taking on responsibility for things I cannot control);
- my tendency to plan much more work than I am able to do (resulting in too much hard work during some periods, frustration, laziness during other periods and finally in an unnecessary disappointment in spite of the fact that I often have accomplished a lot),
- my inability to deal with disappointments when it comes to the things that are most important to me in life;
- my somewhat surprising hyper sensibility to what other people feel (I have spent so many hours wondering why I felt so bad without any reason, and suddenly it becomes clear to my that those feelings were not mine at all and that I have %ldquoonly%rdquo been picking up other peoples feelings);
- my inability to deal with other peoples envy and wickedness.  

My main problem seems to be that I am so sensible to other people%rsquos wickedness and mean intentions. Why cannot I just be successful, enjoy the results of my success and take on no responsibility for other peoples wickedness? It%rsquos not my problem, it%rsquos theirs! I accomplish a lot in my work. There are some people who cannot stand that. They try to stop me, but they have this far only been able to stop some of my plans and to seriously harm my reputation by slander. If I was not that sensible, they would not have managed to do that, but would only have hurt themselves. There are a lot of businessmen living in a world of dirty tricks, who seem not to be affected by them. Do you have to be wicked yourself to accomplish that? Or is my increased sensitivity a result of the kundalini process (it seems to me I have been awake to some degree whole life)? If so, how can I surrender this sensibility?

Hi Vyana,

I will tell you a little about what I have recently realized.

I have realized that I got into the habit of surrendering only that which I term as being bad. Try surrendering everything, whether it be good or bad.

When you think a good thought that makes you happy or you think a thought which is "right" in some way, surrender it. You can still be happy, but don't cling to that thought. It makes the happiness sweeter, having no tangible existence.

When I felt that I was right in some way about something, along with it followed something else which must be true just through logic. If this is true then I could also answer a million other questions that I had.

Every right thought seems to have a shadow side.

Surrender the fruit of our actions.

I tried keeping this going.. but it stopped when I had work to do. I couldn't keep up a conversation cuz I needed to access my creativity and wit.

I have yet to find a script which I can follow in dealing with people. I think it really just requires a change in attitude and real growth in dealing with people and our everyday situations. Not caring about this wickedness, takes a change in attitude.

You may just have to change what you think about wicked people.

Scott

Vyana,

The pink coating to your aura is supposed to keep their bad intents out of your space. When I do, it I feel like all negativity is being pushed away from me. The air around me suddenly gets a clean feeling to it. I haven't got to where the feeling stays that way yet. Persistence in creating the pink coating will, with time, work on these feelings you are picking up.

Yes, I agree. K will increase your sensitivity to others' intents. I believe it's the increased energy flowing into your inner brain that is rejuvenating those senses that are making you more sensitive. I was just rereading your message. You asked, "How can I surrender this sensibility?" This is going to sound repetitive, but, have you simply given it to Goddess, sent into the light? If you are meant to be sensitive, it will come back with improvements%mdashquoting the lessons here.

I understand how you feel. I have been over sensitive to other's intents all my life. Since my heart opened, I now tend to get the giggles when someone is trying to be mean to me%mdashmost of the time. Everything that bothers me goes into the light, if I'm not in an off mood. Things are improving for me in this area. Persistence is the key.

I attended a seminar for Foster Parents last weekend. There was a class on learning how to express anger in a healthy way. You might get some info on that from the web. Here's a link that covers basically the same material as my class: Work-Out. I got to look deep inside during that class and though I seem to be expressing anger in a healthy way most of the time, I could still see a lot of rough edges and aggression to be worked through. This Fire Serpent Tantra course has helped me to speed up the process.

A Buddhist was asked once during a time of political unrest in his country, "How is it that you can stay calm through all the turmoil of your daily life?" He replied, "I never leave the place of my meditation." Stay grounded.

Chow, Nicholas

Thank you Scott and Nicholas!

I definitely need to change the way I think in relation to wicked people. Most of all, I need to learn to treat wicked people as a part of my environment and not as a part of me, for which wickedness I do in some mysterious way feel responsible. It is as if I make some kind of reverse projection. Instead of projecting what is inside of me to the outer world, I somehow project what is outside to my inner world, which makes it affect me in a way that is really not adequate. I wonder if this has something to do with the shadow self. The mere intent to harm anyone is so strongly against anything that I think I am (or any of my family members or friends is) that I just don%rsquot know what to do with it. It is as if it came out of another dimension. For instance, I am unable to defend myself, if it would mean that I would have to harm somebody else, and I often choose to take on blame just to prevent somebody else is not harmed.

I have surrendered my sensitivities and my relation to wicked people in all ways that I have been able to think of, and I keep on doing it. Now I will also try to surrender positive things related to these issues. Of course I hope that these issues has come up strong the last weeks just for me to finally get rid of them, but in the same time it feels so strong. I have been somewhat %ldquolazy%rdquo practicing the grounding for some weeks though, but I will try to keep up with that again.

To me, there is %ndash probably in all aspects of my life %ndash a difference between actively participating and passively watching, that is probably of relevance here. Being relaxed has for instance always been very easy when lying down on the floor practicing yoga nidra or some other relaxation exercise. To stay relaxed in action is quite another thing and much more difficult.

The last five months I have, under the guidance of Mystress and this course, been developing a joy and peace of mind in relation to everything including my kundalini process and all issues it brings up. I have somehow got in touch with the joy and bliss of my heart chakra. But I have done this in a passive mode. I have been able to kind of lean back and just watch things without participating much. These last weeks things have happened %ndash the wicked people that are plaguing me the most have been taking actions that have made other people react strongly against them %ndash which has forced me to take some action myself. And when I have changed to active mode two things have changed. First, I am no longer automatically grounded, as I at least thought I was before, but rather ungrounded and tense. Second, a lot of issues, most of which I thought I was more or less finished with, have appeared again. So, obviously, I have to do more grounding, yoga and relaxation exercises.

Nicholas, your link (Work-Out) does not seem to have come through. Can you post the address instead?