Dear Mystress Angelique,

How are you today?  

I want to tell you how much I enjoyed the lesson on Magical Ethics.  I thought it was beautifully written, and very smart and insightful.  

I was wondering if you would expand a little bit on a paragraph?  The paragraph that mentions Good Intentions.  I'd really like to know more about your experience.

Also, I'm at the point where I'm getting to know my 3rd chakra.  I can tell you, I had more fun with the 2nd!  I discovered how to find most of my challenges interesting and empowering, which is a nice change.   I don't know if saying thank you is appropriate, but I really feel that it wasn't until you asked Goddess with me to connect my first chakra that this really started to click for me, so I am very grateful.

If it comes to mind, can you suggest 2-3 lessons that you feel would specifically help me with my 3rd chakra exploration, and/or will provide me with tools for better understanding what I'm discovering?  It feels like a cluttered mess (maybe I should say "Goddess, bless this mess" LOL) - and my inner voice isn't so clear with this.  I'm not being specific with my surrender.  

I also enjoyed your recent response to Keith...

Love and Joy

Lady Jade

Hello,

Although I have not gotten as far as the lesson on Magical Ethics, I too am experiencing a power chakra awakening. I am actually discovering that I DO create my own reality!! Problem is, I'm also noticing that my thoughts and desires have a way of becoming manifest. I ask DB to make sure things occur in my highest good, and to use only my own energy, but still, when I see the physical realm reflecting my wants and needs, it is unsettling. There is the uneasy feeling that by using my own power, I may be unduly affecting others. As well, I was reading Brad Jensen's website and his words of advice were 'When you are spiritually stuck, teach someone what you have learned thus far.' Well, God/dess keeps throwing me these situations where I have the opportunity to do so; however, the people coming to me are depressed, having problems at home, needing a new place to live, broke, etc, etc. I'm sorta wondering: I didn't accidentally create their problems, did I? I mean, my friends already had these issues before they met me; but does my desire to teach what I know accelerate these issues? Or is God/dess just throwing people in my path to reflect my own issues back at me? Because I've also learned that even when I know exactly what to tell someone, I'm still stuck.....and you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Meaning that I teach what I know, but the decision is theirs to follow, and my advice may not work for that person.

I remember Mystress saying it is best to have no thoughts, and a silent mind, and then one's thoughts and feelings have no effect on others, because there are none!! However, I am not there yet......but although I haven't progressed that far in the lessons, I was wondering if there's a way to create your own reality without messing with others? Or is it unavoidable and perfection that we are all connection, and that you change the world when you change the inside of yourself? Because change is the natural state of things on the physical plane; to stop changing is to die.

I have to say, though, it's neat to finally enjoy having a solar plexus!!! I'm not feeling quite so much like I'm constantly being kicked in the solar plexus......yaaaaayyyyy!!! Projections are tapering down, apparently.....though not entirely it seems. Ah, well....

Sabrina

: Dear Mystress Angelique,

: How are you today?  

Tired, kind of stiff... still busy with moving... but my heart is joyous as always! Thanks for asking...

: I want to tell you how much I enjoyed the lesson on Magical Ethics.  I thought it was beautifully written, and very smart and insightful.  

Thank you!

: I was wondering if you would expand a little bit on a paragraph?  The paragraph that mentions Good Intentions.  I'd really like to know more about your experience.

Three lessons earlier is an entire lesson devotes to "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." FST level 2 will explore the whole topic of hierarchies and power games in meticulous detail... but it isn't written yet! So many things on my "things to do" list...

 Karma follows responsibility, and blame is giving responsibility away... making someone else responsible for how you are. Generally, this is a bad idea because it disempowers you, but on rare occasions it can be useful.

 Dom/sub games are all about transferring responsibility... even tho, that is an illusion.  As part of Tantric SM, I used to make long term student/slavery karma vampire agreements with people whom I loved. I owned them, I owned their karma: it would flow to me, to be resolved. Powerful stuff!!

  I don't do that anymore...

  It was my own personal "road to hell of good intentions," and it taught me a lot, but I still get a post traumatic stress reaction to a few people I did it with... Their lack of surrender thrashed my body, and the body remembers...

  This is related to how many Guru types die of liver or kidney failure from taking on karma from their devotees. Those organs are related to the power chakra, and the power chakra is where hierarchy games live.

 I have been inexplicably gaining weight, these past few years. I attributed it to my metabolism being slowed down by too many years at a desk, although that explanation felt incomplete. I have been spending almost no time at my desk, and working unbelievable hard for the past two months, moving etc... too busy to eat!!  I have not lost any weight, which tells me that the fat is toxin storage, and probably my liver is not functioning properly. I'll be seeing a naturopath, next.

 Devotee/chela/slave... all mean giving responsibility for yourself to the leader. Karma follows responsibility... shit flows uphill to where the buck stops!

 (that phrase is a combination of two ideas. A plumber friend once told me that his brother the electrician was the smart one, and that all a plumber had to know is that shit does not flow uphill, and payday is on Friday. Karma shit does flow uphill... and "where the buck stops" is a common phrase for responsibility... A sign a C.E.O. might have on his/her desk. Passing on responsibility to another is called "passing the buck.")

 In owning them, as my slave I would also own their karma. It would come up to be resolved in the course of the relationship, flow to me via hierarchy and empathic unity. Those who genuinely surrendered, sometimes attained self realization in as little as six months!! Though sustaining the realization and learning to adapt generally took much longer.

 Others... when we hit some sticky place where they were not able to surrender, it was like they handed me one end of the stick then played a tug of war, pulling me into a mudhole instead of letting go. I cannot surrender what I do not own, so I would get plugged up with their stuff and be dragged into hell.

 To understand part of how this works, imagine a high vibration person is a bucket of clear water, overflowing and a lower vibration person is a bucket of karma mud. Empathic unity means the two become one, the mud gets watered down and the clear water gets muddy. So now you have two buckets of muddy water. The high vibe person has a strong energy flow, like a hose stuck in the bucket that washes away the mud and replaces it with clear water. Do this enough times, and the result is two buckets of clear water... but only if the muddy bucket agrees to let go of all the mud! If they are a plantpot not a bucket, and have some attachments planted in the mud, they may not be willing to have all the mud gone and the attachments uprooted.

The chela's responsibility is to surrender and obey, and if they do not, then it can actually damage the Guru! This is why in many ashrams, the novices are not allowed any contact with the leader. The leader is simply too sensitive to handle their stuff, directly.

 I am too sensitive for novices, but this course is owned by Goddess and I am only the facilitator, so I am usually not at all affected by the karma the students release while taking the course.

   Some of my experiences with hierarchical karma flow were pretty harsh, but they taught me so much! These days I have learned to be very judicious about where I allow empathy.

  For one thing, when I first discovered my sadistic side, it was shocking. When I looked into my path to discover where the need had been met unconsciously when it was repressed, I discovered "vengeful victim." Ouch! I was so upset to discover that in the past I had chosen victimhood to have an excuse for sadism, I went the other way and took responsibility for *everything* that happened to me, no matter what. After a few years of doing so, I realized I was surrounded by abusive people!! What you resist, persists... ! I never called them on their behavior, so I was meat! In resisting being a victim, I became one...  

  What came out of it, is that sometimes Goddess moves me to play the victim. I hate it, but now and then someone comes along who will not take responsibility for their own power, until they can see that it has effects.

 If my slave was being so very irresponsible towards their agreement with me to surrender, then blaming them for how I was affected, was a good zen stick to send the stuff back, and get them to take responsibility for their actions and results. It gave them back the power they had given me.

 I discovered the hard way, that one downside of the guru games is that because I was handling the karma of my slaves actions, they sometimes got the idea that they had no power.  Since they thought they had no power, they did not handle their power responsibly.   I had a few slaves who would indulge in all sorts of ego drama, emotional extremes or black magic manipulation, and I'd be the one who paid the karmic price for it.  Karma is action/reaction. The reactions flowed to me. They did not see the effects of their actions, so they assumed there was no effect, until they got a dramatic picture of what effect their irresponsible actions had on me!

  Sometimes Goddess arranged for them to see me being very messed up by their irresponsibility, and me blaming them, explaining that my problems were because of what they did, as a big wake-up call to realization that power is a level playing field. Free will is Goddess law and we all have it, so in that way no person is more powerful than another. I did not care to be martyr for someone's learning curve, in this way but it has happened several times.

 For example, I had one slave who was a big drama queen who indulged her temper a lot. She wrote me an email one day, about how she had a temper tantrum from frustration, bent over crying and screaming, she was so upset about not being able to get my attention whenever she wanted to. My Shadow is a dragon-berserker in defense of my boundaries... and reading her statement sparked a furious, unrelenting torrent of rage in me.

 She was basically saying that she expected me to be *her* slave, at her beck and call... and she was also completely disregarding the fact that our empathic connection meant that her self indulgent rage and self pity flowed to me.

  I contained my temper, did not respond while I tried for two weeks, to calm the berserker but my Shamanistic shadow Teacher Armand would not relent. In the end I had to surrender to his desire for me to release her and cut the cords that bound us together in that agreement. (leash). When I did, I discovered my emotional state suddenly became amazingly calm and clear... until then, I had not realized how much her temper tantrums and indulging in ego drama had been affecting me.

  With empathy, the emotions of another become your own, and it is hard to define the true source of them, and with the karma hierarchy games the empathic connection is strong and 24/7. It was not till the relationship ended, that I realized that her drama had me on an emotional rollercoaster that I was only too happy to get off of. Armand was right to want to cut her loose, but was sentimental and resisted releasing her.

 It is an odd aspect of my ADD. (Attention deficit disorder) Empathy with other people's pain knocks me out of my body, into the witness state. From there, I get the insights I need, to help them clear the source of the pain, and when it is gone I return to my body.  

 It is similar to clinical detachment from trauma... how some people describe experiencing a car accident... everything slows down, they notice small details as if in slow motion, and they feel no pain, they also may not remember any sounds, even the sound of themselves screaming. For most people, it takes a big trauma for that to happen, but ADD people have weak boundaries and a broken breaker switch, and "blink out" at any thing. Confusion, disrespected boundaries... whatever. Someone asks me a question and I "blink out", into the Void, where I get the answers and come back and respond. To them it appears like I go blank for a second... then respond.

 I have turned this strange disability into a gift, empathy with my client's karma pain sends me to the witness to give insights... It is an eyes open OBE, and for me it occurs naturally many times a day. Like, right now.

  When I am writing like this, I am only aware of myself as eyes and fingers typing. I am not aware of the rest of my body, or of time passing. When the writing is done, I may come back to a body that is stiff, tired, hungry, has a headache from sitting at the computer immobile too long... but I do not feel any of it until I come back. Eyes open, wide awake, but my soul is off in the higher chakras getting insights and operating the body by remote control! : )

  The thing is, the body has boundaries and the Goddess-witness does not. I am not aware of my boundaries, aware of them being broken or able to defend them, when I am not in my body. Goddess does not say no! I have no free will when I am not in my body. If I get knocked out of my body by my boundaries being disrespected, then I become a slave to whoever is trampling them, and will sometimes become a reflection, provider of whatever they want or need from me.

 This effect got me date-raped by aggressive men, more times that I could count, when I was in my 20's. They certainly had no idea that they were date raping me, and I berated myself repeatedly for my morning-after regrets! Not understanding why I could not say no to them!  Their aggression knocked me obe, and without boundaries or free will, I would become compliant with their desires. Becoming a domina was safer, because I was reflecting men who wanted to be rejected!

 The problem is, that empathic trance with someone difficult who will not surrender means I might get stuck out of my body too long. Too long obe and the body starts to think the occupant is dead, and starts to shut itself down to return to ashes and dust... or it gets desperate and the automatic self defense survival instincts kick in...  The body defense goes on autopilot... it is like how drowned people often have boot marks of other drowned people on their heads, or like how the bodies in the ovens at Auschwitz were always found piled into a pyramid towards the tiny air vent. Automatic survival mechanisms kicking in.

  I'm not in my body to feel the pain, but the body gets thrashed, and the trauma remains in the body memory, as a post traumatic stress reaction. This makes it very difficult to heal, myself... I have regular appointments with another healer who is gradually releasing these after effects from me.

  For example:  I had one particularly difficult and manipulative slave who was really a passive aggressive, manipulative dom. She misunderstood the meaning of my witness state detachment, she called it my "Guru act" and set about trying every kind of manipulation and power games, to push me past it. Thinking that if she pushed hard enough, I'd be emotional again. It backfired spectacularly. She would not let up, and got stuck out of my body for months. She would not believe my explanations of how she affected me.  I became very ill, and started to have crystal clear visions of pushing her violently down my steep, tiled stairs... the autodefense survival instinct thing. The visions were so intense I became afraid I would lose my last shreds of control and do it, and the idea of her dead of a broken neck at the foot of my stairs was... too much. I threw her out of my house and my life, instead.

  That was in 1998, but she is still trying to get back with me. She has turned into kind of a stalker, and simply does not take "no" for an answer! Last month, she became friends with one of my friends, and used him as a gateway to get past the shielding I use against her, and attach to my energy again. I always know when she is doing that, because she is in my head, arguing relentlessly.

 When there is someone else's karma blocking my system, I get knocked out of body to get the insights to help them release it. I go in and out of the witness state naturally many times a day, a momentary catatonia that looks like daydreaming. Usually I am not aware of it happening, because I am not there to be aware of it! It is natural to me. It often happens too quickly for me to check the power chakra signals and be able to choose.

  My druid has learned to recognise when there is "nobody home" and not try to engage me in conversation. I may respond, but I probably won't remember what either of us said.

 If the person I am in empathy with does not surrender, and their stuff gets stuck in me, then I get irritated, wanting to whack them with the zen stick... I am actually still in the witness state, but what will come out is a reflection of their stuff, and the writing or conversation may appear to be quite hostile or sarcastic, but it is really emotionless but very direct. Tact is an ego thing, the witness calls a spade a spade.

  It is a process, of my body analyzing the content of their karma in me and spewing it back at them, me becoming a reflection of their stuff. Kind of miraculous, the results...

  If that does not work, and the blockage persists, then my connection to my higher guidance shuts down, and next my immune system goes. It is like I am being suffocated. Not enough energy flowing to keep me alive and healthy. Channels plugged up.  

   Most folks have no higher connection because they have too much karmic crap blocking it. So it is, that much of this course deals with what sorts of karmic issues people carry, and how to release them. Once that stuff is released, the higher guidance comes automatically and the teacher-guide is no longer needed  as much.

  The *only* time I am vulnerable to a cold or flu, strep throat or anything contagious like that, is when I have someone's karma stuck in my energy body, interfering with my immune system. The only sort of ill health I get that is my own, is a few allergic reactions, or occasionally something like food poisoning or some other kind of environmental poisoning like too much mildew or paint fumes.

  These days, I rarely use blame to return karma to owner. I am better at staying in my body and paying attention to the power chakra zone alarm, choosing to walk away instead of being pulled into somebody's stuff. I don't take on the amount of responsibility that I used to, to need to pass on that kind of lesson. I just got too burnt out on doing that, and quit.

I use "Goddess please take this stuff that is not mine and give it back to whoever it belongs to, in whatever way you think best, thank you."

  I do this after every session, to return any stuff I have taken on via empathy, that has not been cleared during the session. This kind of vertical return to sender is better than a horizontal, person to person return for several reasons. One, is that a direct, horizontal return to sender can feel like a psychic attack, to the recipient, even though it is only their own stuff returning. They will probably get your feelings about it as well... whereas, the vertical return means Goddess will give the stuff back in whatever form is best for them: which could be anything, an insight, an experience or a winning lottery ticket!

  It usually works very well... tho once in a while someone will be persistent in sending me their karma, and I will have to set up a mirror shield against it to reflect it back to them automatically, and give myself a breathing space to look inward and discover what it is within myself that attracted the occurrence.

 Sometimes the body will also go on the defensive... the reflection effect can turn into a berserker effect that I am not in control of. It rarely happens anymore, because I am more mindful of staying in my body, paying attention to the zone alarm that is the power chakra! Power chakra defines boundaries, and will always tell you if your boundaries are not being respected, or if your actions will create karma because they are not respectful of the boundaries/free will of another.

   I am a slave to Goddess, I really have no conscience or morality of my own, but Her will for me as defined by the messages of my power chakra.

  Recently, one of my Priestesses was complaining about how all the Witches she knows, including me, keep telling her to avoid using magic to manipulate people... especially as she sees me sometimes being very manipulative, but had been afraid to say so.
  I explained that the difference is that she wants to manipulate people for personal gain, which is a really bad idea. I am manipulative, but not for personal gain. If Goddess tells me to poke someone so they will grow or surrender, then I do and there is no karma because it is "right action!"  

  Recently, the same priestess decided she wanted me to help heal her severely diabetic husband, and I came down with a persistent sore throat, like I have not had in 10 years!

 The sore throat lasted for two weeks, and I could not heal it or figure out where it was coming from... until I actually did the session with him. Two weeks was the length of time between her deciding she would give me responsibility for his stuff, and me doing a session with him. She was unconsciously sending me his stuff!
 After the session, the sore throat was gone but I kept getting all kinds of other reactions. Sending the stuff back to him via Goddess, would give me a few clear moments and then the symptoms came right back again. I got the message to use blame to get him to take responsibility for himself... He does not take care of himself, and as a result has diabetic comas, flip outs and has lost all the toes on both feet. He will not take care of himself for his own sake, but discovering that his not doing the karma cleansing and affirmation homework was making me ill, motivated him a lot better!  I hate playing the victim, but Goddess set it up like that.

   I finally went to another healer to get it sorted out. Her diagnosis was that my Priestess and her husband were slackers who took very little responsibility for their results, and were only too willing to hand it to me.

  I tend to take far too much responsibility, because of my dominant persona, resistance to victimhood and compassionate heart... I was unconsciously allowing them to send me their stuff,  out of love... same game as before, with slaves... my pattern coming up again.

  So, those are some of the experiences that line in the lesson refers to. Usually I do not care to talk about them, much. They are not part of the lesson because they are mostly specific to me, my ADD/empathy/Dom vulnerabilities.

 In the past, I did have one FST student who took unfair advantage of them, out of sheer jealousy... She felt my vibration in a session and decided to speed her own process by dumping all her stuff onto me. It took me a few months to recover. It upset me so much I came very close to deleting the whole course!

 I think she had some sort of learning disability which meant that she would understand the opposite of what was said. Some kind of entity showed up in place of her DB, and I told her to send it into the light. She responded, "I have been sending it into the blackness but it comes right back." Weird.

: Also, I'm at the point where I'm getting to know my 3rd chakra.  I can tell you, I had more fun with the 2nd!  I discovered how to find most of my challenges interesting and empowering, which is a nice change.   I don't know if saying thank you is appropriate, but I really feel that it wasn't until you asked Goddess with me to connect my first chakra that this really started to click for me, so I am very grateful.

Thank you Goddess!

: If it comes to mind, can you suggest 2-3 lessons that you feel would specifically help me with my 3rd chakra exploration, and/or will provide me with tools for better understanding what I'm discovering?

Not that I can think of. It I think of any later, I'll let you know. It is experiential, really. An evolutionary process. Level 2 will contain games and experiences to set you up for understanding... I'm devotng a whole section of the course to just that!

  The more you focus on power chakra awareness, the more you become aware of how power games between people affect it, and in particular, what your own tendencies and vulnerabilities are.

: It feels like a cluttered mess (maybe I should say "Goddess, bless this mess" LOL) - and my inner voice isn't so clear with this.  I'm not being specific with my surrender.  

Power chakra issues can be labyrinthine... The stuff I expressed in this post took many years to uncover, and still is not wholly resolved. I am moved to tell you to pay attention to your dreams. The astral world of dreams is an aspect of the power chakra, so observing your dreams will give you insights into your issues.

  Blessings!!

: Hello,

Hello, Sabrina!

: Although I have not gotten as far as the lesson on Magical Ethics, I too am experiencing a power chakra awakening. I am actually discovering that I DO create my own reality!! Problem is, I'm also noticing that my thoughts and desires have a way of becoming manifest. I ask DB to make sure things occur in my highest good,

Good... and... move two chakra universes up, and you will see that everything is always happening for the highest good, and cannot ever not do so. The "highest good" affirmation is useful, but it is duality based. A judgement of good and bad. Try asking your DB to show you silver linings of every event, and you will see that even supposedly "bad" events have purpose.

:and to use only my own energy, but still, when I see the physical realm reflecting my wants and needs, it is unsettling.

Takes a bit of getting used to... a necessary part of the process.

:There is the uneasy feeling that by using my own power, I may be unduly affecting others. As well, I was reading Brad Jensen's website and his words of advice were 'When you are spiritually stuck, teach someone what you have learned thus far.' Well, God/dess keeps throwing me these situations where I have the opportunity to do so; however, the people coming to me are depressed, having problems at home, needing a new place to live, broke, etc, etc. I'm sorta wondering: I didn't accidentally create their problems, did I? I mean, my friends already had these issues before they met me; but does my desire to teach what I know accelerate these issues? Or is God/dess just throwing people in my path to reflect my own issues back at me? Because I've also learned that even when I know exactly what to tell someone, I'm still stuck.....and you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Meaning that I teach what I know, but the decision is theirs to follow, and my advice may not work for that person.

yup. Your request for a student so you can teach what you need to learn, attracts these people to you, but they are Gods of their own lives and their reality is self created. You are not responsible for their problems. Remember to look for the Divine in them, the truth of who they are and relate to that within yourself. The depressed victim they feel themselves to be, is illusion... but respect their choice of manifestation, anyhow, within your own limits. Be polite to victims, but do not take responsibility for their choices.

: I remember Mystress saying it is best to have no thoughts, and a silent mind, and then one's thoughts and feelings have no effect on others, because there are none!! However, I am not there yet......but although I haven't progressed that far in the lessons, I was wondering if there's a way to create your own reality without messing with others? Or is it unavoidable and perfection that we are all connection, and that you change the world when you change the inside of yourself? Because change is the natural state of things on the physical plane; to stop changing is to die.

The holographic universe is all One, so any action creates ripples. A study of chaos theory physics shows "a butterfly flapping its wings in Japan may create a ripple that results in a tornado in Oklahoma"... all results are impossible to predict; Goddess has it handled. The best you can do is to be mindful of your heart and power chakra guidance, so that your own actions do not come back to you as karmic smacks upside da head... and even so, sometimes they will, if you need to see the ego pattern in your actions.

: I have to say, though, it's neat to finally enjoy having a solar plexus!!! I'm not feeling quite so much like I'm constantly being kicked in the solar plexus......yaaaaayyyyy!!! Projections are tapering down, apparently.....though not entirely it seems. Ah, well....

Good! Give it time... Blessings!!

: Sabrina

PS: Western medicine currently uses  biochemical theory of depression that prozac and lithium are created to balance. From a spiritual viewpoint, depression is usually, anger turned inwards... and the depression will not clear till the anger is released or resolved.

  My instinctive response to a "poor me" type, is to mock them and piss them off. Not that I am recommending such an action!!! ... but I have found that anger is active, and healthier than self pity. It motivates. Once they get off their butts and in touch with their anger, sometimes the whole repressed anger block will erupt to be cleared. Best to be well out of the way for that part! It is like poking a sleeping bear.

Hi!!!!!

Good... and... move two chakra universes up, and you will see that everything is always happening for the highest good, and cannot ever not do so. The "highest good" affirmation is useful, but it is duality based. A judgement of good and bad. Try asking your DB to show you silver linings of every event, and you will see that even supposedly "bad" events have purpose

Two chakras? You mean at the level of the throat chakra?

Hmm..maybe if I HAVE to have an affirmation while doing surrender based magic, I need a different word than 'good.' Maybe I should say 'make things occur on the highest level of whatever is need for all concerned.' Ugh, awkward. Because I am starting to realize that sometimes the energy or results needed for some people could be perceived as 'bad'..sometimes the Divine decides a smack in the head, or pain, or loss would be in the highest possible 'good' for the people involved. Semantics, I know....but that is what I am really trying to get at. Whatever is needed.

yup. Your request for a student so you can teach what you need to learn, attracts these people to you, but they are Gods of their own lives and their reality is self created. You are not responsible for their problems. Remember to look for the Divine in them, the truth of who they are and relate to that within yourself. The depressed victim they feel themselves to be, is illusion... but respect their choice of manifestation, anyhow, within your own limits. Be polite to victims, but do not take responsibility for their choices.

*sigh* I totally agree.....and I always ask DB to help me use only my own energy, and to not take on any responsibility for people that God/dess does not want me to take on. It's kinda funny.....I actually don't have much desire to teach, or heal, or fix people..but they find me. The big problem is; a lot of people I meet are suicidal. And a big part of me does want to do anything and everything I can to prevent them from taking their own lives. I realize I am not responsible for their lives....but still, although I try to see them as God/dess and creting their own reality, I feel the 'need' to keep them from killing themselves. I realize it may be an ego-based need, but it is a block I cannot get past. And it is frightening. But I HAVE to get past it, because that and a few other things have kept me in a relationship that I feel has passed its course....and I feel I should end things, but there is the lingering fear of what to do if he tries to take his own life. And because intuition tells me it is not yet the time to end it. Same with my friends.......I don't know how to deal with it. It is painful to realize that people could end their lives and I would have to stand by and watch.....offering food, and watching them starve to death in a world of plenty. Another issue which I believe to be a reflection of me......as from time to time in life I have had suicidal impulses. But is is SOOOO hard........

Sabrina

: : Dear Mystress Angelique,

: : How are you today?  

: Tired, kind of stiff... still busy with moving... but my heart is joyous as always! Thanks for asking...

: Power chakra issues can be labyrinthine... The stuff I expressed in this post took many years to uncover, and still is not wholly resolved. I am moved to tell you to pay attention to your dreams. The astral world of dreams is an aspect of the power chakra, so observing your dreams will give you insights into your issues.

:    Blessings!!

Dear Mystress and all,

Reading tis post moves me to tell a dream I had the other night. I dreamed that I went to Mystress' house, and that Percyval lived there. I, and several of my pagan friends were visiting, and you both told us to stay as long as we needed to, that we could live there until we needed to move out. So I'm sitting there in a circle of kundalites and witches, getting zapped with k-fire and witchy energy, and it becomes a little too intense for me, so I pull back. And I noticed that Mystress seemed to be weak, sick, in pain with some sort of back problems. And I thought to myself when I awoke 'Gee, I hope Mystress is feeling OK,' And I also thought 'I hope I haven't been handing her my karma to clear, and I hope she's not sick from taking on the issues of me and my friends.' Kind of appropo, given this post. Dunno what the dream means exactly, haven't sat down to interpret it.....but it's kind of synchronistic, nonetheless.

Sabrina

Hi Sabrina:

  Your dream is accurate.

  Your description of my physical state is accurate. Given my resistance to victimhood, I have not given much energy to the idea that it is because of karma... I preferred to think that it is because I have been working my body well beyond its limits, and encountering toxins like dust, paint, mildew, etc... as part of the process of moving house. For the past several weeks I have been in pain, from overwork, needing a chiropractor, and all my joints aching in a way I associate with mildew poisoning. I stiffen up if I am still for very long, so I tend to just keep working, instead. Push through the pain with graititude, invoking endorphins. I have also gotten physically weaker, despite building muscle. Bags and boxes I packed and carried in the middle of last month, are now too heavy for me to move. This is something I have encountered before, as a symptom of paint poisoning. And, of course, I am just plain tired.

  There is a place on the astral planes that is the Tribe of the Fire Serpent's home. The appearance of it changes, depending on what kind of work we do there, and one cannot find it, unless invited in some way. It is shielded, partly to prevent the unprepared from wandering in and getting zapped.
 You are not tribe, so... why were you there? Possibly you were there visiting because of your upcoming initiation, though why your friends were also allowed in, puzzles me. Any coven circle is only as strong as its weakest member, especially the Tribe because of the deep tantric empathy links between us... and so this place is private.

 I am not surprised that you found the energy overwhelming, the Tribe are all adepts and the circle has been known to mentally destabilize the unprepared, by bringing up more karma than they are able to surrender... and their emotional and mental chaos spills onto the rest of the Tribe.

  I'll let you sort the rest of the dream out, for yourself. Thanks for sharing... blessings!

: Dear Mystress and all,

: Reading tis post moves me to tell a dream I had the other night. I dreamed that I went to Mystress' house, and that Percyval lived there. I, and several of my pagan friends were visiting, and you both told us to stay as long as we needed to, that we could live there until we needed to move out. So I'm sitting there in a circle of kundalites and witches, getting zapped with k-fire and witchy energy, and it becomes a little too intense for me, so I pull back. And I noticed that Mystress seemed to be weak, sick, in pain with some sort of back problems. And I thought to myself when I awoke 'Gee, I hope Mystress is feeling OK,' And I also thought 'I hope I haven't been handing her my karma to clear, and I hope she's not sick from taking on the issues of me and my friends.' Kind of appropo, given this post. Dunno what the dream means exactly, haven't sat down to interpret it.....but it's kind of synchronistic, nonetheless.

: Sabrina

 
    Not that I'm complaining... really, just validating your perceptions.

 You and percyval deal with way more pain all the time that I have been, lately. I don't know how you manage. I'm a wimp!

During the move, I had misplaced my vitamins. Got really obsessed and found them again on Sunday... megadoses of vitamin e, B10, B complex, glucosamine and MSM have put me back together in pretty short order! Thank Goddess!!

   Blessings...

: Hi Sabrina:

:    Your dream is accurate.

:    Your description of my physical state is accurate. Given my resistance to victimhood, I have not given much energy to the idea that it is because of karma... I preferred to think that it is because I have been working my body well beyond its limits, and encountering toxins like dust, paint, mildew, etc... as part of the process of moving house. For the past several weeks I have been in pain, from overwork, needing a chiropractor, and all my joints aching in a way I associate with mildew poisoning. I stiffen up if I am still for very long, so I tend to just keep working, instead. Push through the pain with graititude, invoking endorphins. I have also gotten physically weaker, despite building muscle. Bags and boxes I packed and carried in the middle of last month, are now too heavy for me to move. This is something I have encountered before, as a symptom of paint poisoning. And, of course, I am just plain tired.

:    There is a place on the astral planes that is the Tribe of the Fire Serpent's home. The appearance of it changes, depending on what kind of work we do there, and one cannot find it, unless invited in some way. It is shielded, partly to prevent the unprepared from wandering in and getting zapped.
:   You are not tribe, so... why were you there? Possibly you were there visiting because of your upcoming initiation, though why your friends were also allowed in, puzzles me. Any coven circle is only as strong as its weakest member, especially the Tribe because of the deep tantric empathy links between us... and so this place is private.

:   I am not surprised that you found the energy overwhelming, the Tribe are all adepts and the circle has been known to mentally destabilize the unprepared, by bringing up more karma than they are able to surrender... and their emotional and mental chaos spills onto the rest of the Tribe.

:    I'll let you sort the rest of the dream out, for yourself. Thanks for sharing... blessings!

:  
: : Dear Mystress and all,

: : Reading tis post moves me to tell a dream I had the other night. I dreamed that I went to Mystress' house, and that Percyval lived there. I, and several of my pagan friends were visiting, and you both told us to stay as long as we needed to, that we could live there until we needed to move out. So I'm sitting there in a circle of kundalites and witches, getting zapped with k-fire and witchy energy, and it becomes a little too intense for me, so I pull back. And I noticed that Mystress seemed to be weak, sick, in pain with some sort of back problems. And I thought to myself when I awoke 'Gee, I hope Mystress is feeling OK,' And I also thought 'I hope I haven't been handing her my karma to clear, and I hope she's not sick from taking on the issues of me and my friends.' Kind of appropo, given this post. Dunno what the dream means exactly, haven't sat down to interpret it.....but it's kind of synchronistic, nonetheless.

: : Sabrina

Thank you soooooooooo much for not deleting the course!  I trust I would have learnt it somehow, but I can't imagine a more direct path.

Thank you also for your courage and the gift of your awesome  experience...  You know that words cannot express my gratitude, so I trust Tara will lead me and show me the way to do so properly.

I'm keeping the text you wrote in a Word file so I can refer to it.  Is there a problem with that?

I'm finding myself simply mentioning the course sometimes now, and am surrounded with people of like mind.   Even when seemingly bad things happen, I feel somewhat glad because I know it's actually for the best, and start to look for hidden opportunities.

FST 1 is all about loving my self, isn't it?  I feel I am transforming into a butterfly!  

Love and Joy,

Lady Jade

: Tired, kind of stiff... still busy with moving... but my heart is joyous as always! Thanks for asking...

: : I was wondering if you would expand a little bit on a paragraph?  The paragraph that mentions Good Intentions.  I'd really like to know more about your experience.

: Three lessons earlier is an entire lesson devotes to "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." FST level 2 will explore the whole topic of hierarchies and power games in meticulous detail... but it isn't written yet! So many things on my "things to do" list...

:   Karma follows responsibility, and blame is giving responsibility away... making someone else responsible for how you are. Generally, this is a bad idea because it disempowers you, but on rare occasions it can be useful.

:   Dom/sub games are all about transferring responsibility... even tho, that is an illusion.  As part of Tantric SM, I used to make long term student/slavery karma vampire agreements with people whom I loved. I owned them, I owned their karma: it would flow to me, to be resolved. Powerful stuff!!

:    I don't do that anymore...

:    It was my own personal "road to hell of good intentions," and it taught me a lot, but I still get a post traumatic stress reaction to a few people I did it with... Their lack of surrender thrashed my body, and the body remembers...

:    This is related to how many Guru types die of liver or kidney failure from taking on karma from their devotees. Those organs are related to the power chakra, and the power chakra is where hierarchy games live.

:   I have been inexplicably gaining weight, these past few years. I attributed it to my metabolism being slowed down by too many years at a desk, although that explanation felt incomplete. I have been spending almost no time at my desk, and working unbelievable hard for the past two months, moving etc... too busy to eat!!  I have not lost any weight, which tells me that the fat is toxin storage, and probably my liver is not functioning properly. I'll be seeing a naturopath, next.

:   Devotee/chela/slave... all mean giving responsibility for yourself to the leader. Karma follows responsibility... shit flows uphill to where the buck stops!

:   (that phrase is a combination of two ideas. A plumber friend once told me that his brother the electrician was the smart one, and that all a plumber had to know is that shit does not flow uphill, and payday is on Friday. Karma shit does flow uphill... and "where the buck stops" is a common phrase for responsibility... A sign a C.E.O. might have on his/her desk. Passing on responsibility to another is called "passing the buck.")

:   In owning them, as my slave I would also own their karma. It would come up to be resolved in the course of the relationship, flow to me via hierarchy and empathic unity. Those who genuinely surrendered, sometimes attained self realization in as little as six months!! Though sustaining the realization and learning to adapt generally took much longer.

:   Others... when we hit some sticky place where they were not able to surrender, it was like they handed me one end of the stick then played a tug of war, pulling me into a mudhole instead of letting go. I cannot surrender what I do not own, so I would get plugged up with their stuff and be dragged into hell.

:   To understand part of how this works, imagine a high vibration person is a bucket of clear water, overflowing and a lower vibration person is a bucket of karma mud. Empathic unity means the two become one, the mud gets watered down and the clear water gets muddy. So now you have two buckets of muddy water. The high vibe person has a strong energy flow, like a hose stuck in the bucket that washes away the mud and replaces it with clear water. Do this enough times, and the result is two buckets of clear water... but only if the muddy bucket agrees to let go of all the mud! If they are a plantpot not a bucket, and have some attachments planted in the mud, they may not be willing to have all the mud gone and the attachments uprooted.

: The chela's responsibility is to surrender and obey, and if they do not, then it can actually damage the Guru! This is why in many ashrams, the novices are not allowed any contact with the leader. The leader is simply too sensitive to handle their stuff, directly.

:   I am too sensitive for novices, but this course is owned by Goddess and I am only the facilitator, so I am usually not at all affected by the karma the students release while taking the course.

:     Some of my experiences with hierarchical karma flow were pretty harsh, but they taught me so much! These days I have learned to be very judicious about where I allow empathy.

:    For one thing, when I first discovered my sadistic side, it was shocking. When I looked into my path to discover where the need had been met unconsciously when it was repressed, I discovered "vengeful victim." Ouch! I was so upset to discover that in the past I had chosen victimhood to have an excuse for sadism, I went the other way and took responsibility for *everything* that happened to me, no matter what. After a few years of doing so, I realized I was surrounded by abusive people!! What you resist, persists... ! I never called them on their behavior, so I was meat! In resisting being a victim, I became one...  

:    What came out of it, is that sometimes Goddess moves me to play the victim. I hate it, but now and then someone comes along who will not take responsibility for their own power, until they can see that it has effects.

:   If my slave was being so very irresponsible towards their agreement with me to surrender, then blaming them for how I was affected, was a good zen stick to send the stuff back, and get them to take responsibility for their actions and results. It gave them back the power they had given me.

:   I discovered the hard way, that one downside of the guru games is that because I was handling the karma of my slaves actions, they sometimes got the idea that they had no power.  Since they thought they had no power, they did not handle their power responsibly.   I had a few slaves who would indulge in all sorts of ego drama, emotional extremes or black magic manipulation, and I'd be the one who paid the karmic price for it.  Karma is action/reaction. The reactions flowed to me. They did not see the effects of their actions, so they assumed there was no effect, until they got a dramatic picture of what effect their irresponsible actions had on me!

:    Sometimes Goddess arranged for them to see me being very messed up by their irresponsibility, and me blaming them, explaining that my problems were because of what they did, as a big wake-up call to realization that power is a level playing field. Free will is Goddess law and we all have it, so in that way no person is more powerful than another. I did not care to be martyr for someone's learning curve, in this way but it has happened several times.

:   For example, I had one slave who was a big drama queen who indulged her temper a lot. She wrote me an email one day, about how she had a temper tantrum from frustration, bent over crying and screaming, she was so upset about not being able to get my attention whenever she wanted to. My Shadow is a dragon-berserker in defense of my boundaries... and reading her statement sparked a furious, unrelenting torrent of rage in me.

:   She was basically saying that she expected me to be *her* slave, at her beck and call... and she was also completely disregarding the fact that our empathic connection meant that her self indulgent rage and self pity flowed to me.

:    I contained my temper, did not respond while I tried for two weeks, to calm the berserker but my Shamanistic shadow Teacher Armand would not relent. In the end I had to surrender to his desire for me to release her and cut the cords that bound us together in that agreement. (leash). When I did, I discovered my emotional state suddenly became amazingly calm and clear... until then, I had not realized how much her temper tantrums and indulging in ego drama had been affecting me.

:    With empathy, the emotions of another become your own, and it is hard to define the true source of them, and with the karma hierarchy games the empathic connection is strong and 24/7. It was not till the relationship ended, that I realized that her drama had me on an emotional rollercoaster that I was only too happy to get off of. Armand was right to want to cut her loose, but was sentimental and resisted releasing her.

:   It is an odd aspect of my ADD. (Attention deficit disorder) Empathy with other people's pain knocks me out of my body, into the witness state. From there, I get the insights I need, to help them clear the source of the pain, and when it is gone I return to my body.  

:   It is similar to clinical detachment from trauma... how some people describe experiencing a car accident... everything slows down, they notice small details as if in slow motion, and they feel no pain, they also may not remember any sounds, even the sound of themselves screaming. For most people, it takes a big trauma for that to happen, but ADD people have weak boundaries and a broken breaker switch, and "blink out" at any thing. Confusion, disrespected boundaries... whatever. Someone asks me a question and I "blink out", into the Void, where I get the answers and come back and respond. To them it appears like I go blank for a second... then respond.

:   I have turned this strange disability into a gift, empathy with my client's karma pain sends me to the witness to give insights... It is an eyes open OBE, and for me it occurs naturally many times a day. Like, right now.

:    When I am writing like this, I am only aware of myself as eyes and fingers typing. I am not aware of the rest of my body, or of time passing. When the writing is done, I may come back to a body that is stiff, tired, hungry, has a headache from sitting at the computer immobile too long... but I do not feel any of it until I come back. Eyes open, wide awake, but my soul is off in the higher chakras getting insights and operating the body by remote control! : )
:  
:    The thing is, the body has boundaries and the Goddess-witness does not. I am not aware of my boundaries, aware of them being broken or able to defend them, when I am not in my body. Goddess does not say no! I have no free will when I am not in my body. If I get knocked out of my body by my boundaries being disrespected, then I become a slave to whoever is trampling them, and will sometimes become a reflection, provider of whatever they want or need from me.

:   This effect got me date-raped by aggressive men, more times that I could count, when I was in my 20's. They certainly had no idea that they were date raping me, and I berated myself repeatedly for my morning-after regrets! Not understanding why I could not say no to them!  Their aggression knocked me obe, and without boundaries or free will, I would become compliant with their desires. Becoming a domina was safer, because I was reflecting men who wanted to be rejected!

:   The problem is, that empathic trance with someone difficult who will not surrender means I might get stuck out of my body too long. Too long obe and the body starts to think the occupant is dead, and starts to shut itself down to return to ashes and dust... or it gets desperate and the automatic self defense survival instincts kick in...  The body defense goes on autopilot... it is like how drowned people often have boot marks of other drowned people on their heads, or like how the bodies in the ovens at Auschwitz were always found piled into a pyramid towards the tiny air vent. Automatic survival mechanisms kicking in.

:    I'm not in my body to feel the pain, but the body gets thrashed, and the trauma remains in the body memory, as a post traumatic stress reaction. This makes it very difficult to heal, myself... I have regular appointments with another healer who is gradually releasing these after effects from me.

:    For example:  I had one particularly difficult and manipulative slave who was really a passive aggressive, manipulative dom. She misunderstood the meaning of my witness state detachment, she called it my "Guru act" and set about trying every kind of manipulation and power games, to push me past it. Thinking that if she pushed hard enough, I'd be emotional again. It backfired spectacularly. She would not let up, and got stuck out of my body for months. She would not believe my explanations of how she affected me.  I became very ill, and started to have crystal clear visions of pushing her violently down my steep, tiled stairs... the autodefense survival instinct thing. The visions were so intense I became afraid I would lose my last shreds of control and do it, and the idea of her dead of a broken neck at the foot of my stairs was... too much. I threw her out of my house and my life, instead.

:    That was in 1998, but she is still trying to get back with me. She has turned into kind of a stalker, and simply does not take "no" for an answer! Last month, she became friends with one of my friends, and used him as a gateway to get past the shielding I use against her, and attach to my energy again. I always know when she is doing that, because she is in my head, arguing relentlessly.

:   When there is someone else's karma blocking my system, I get knocked out of body to get the insights to help them release it. I go in and out of the witness state naturally many times a day, a momentary catatonia that looks like daydreaming. Usually I am not aware of it happening, because I am not there to be aware of it! It is natural to me. It often happens too quickly for me to check the power chakra signals and be able to choose.

:    My druid has learned to recognise when there is "nobody home" and not try to engage me in conversation. I may respond, but I probably won't remember what either of us said.

:   If the person I am in empathy with does not surrender, and their stuff gets stuck in me, then I get irritated, wanting to whack them with the zen stick... I am actually still in the witness state, but what will come out is a reflection of their stuff, and the writing or conversation may appear to be quite hostile or sarcastic, but it is really emotionless but very direct. Tact is an ego thing, the witness calls a spade a spade.

:    It is a process, of my body analyzing the content of their karma in me and spewing it back at them, me becoming a reflection of their stuff. Kind of miraculous, the results...

:    If that does not work, and the blockage persists, then my connection to my higher guidance shuts down, and next my immune system goes. It is like I am being suffocated. Not enough energy flowing to keep me alive and healthy. Channels plugged up.  

:     Most folks have no higher connection because they have too much karmic crap blocking it. So it is, that much of this course deals with what sorts of karmic issues people carry, and how to release them. Once that stuff is released, the higher guidance comes automatically and the teacher-guide is no longer needed  as much.

:    The *only* time I am vulnerable to a cold or flu, strep throat or anything contagious like that, is when I have someone's karma stuck in my energy body, interfering with my immune system. The only sort of ill health I get that is my own, is a few allergic reactions, or occasionally something like food poisoning or some other kind of environmental poisoning like too much mildew or paint fumes.

:    These days, I rarely use blame to return karma to owner. I am better at staying in my body and paying attention to the power chakra zone alarm, choosing to walk away instead of being pulled into somebody's stuff. I don't take on the amount of responsibility that I used to, to need to pass on that kind of lesson. I just got too burnt out on doing that, and quit.

:  I use "Goddess please take this stuff that is not mine and give it back to whoever it belongs to, in whatever way you think best, thank you."

:    I do this after every session, to return any stuff I have taken on via empathy, that has not been cleared during the session. This kind of vertical return to sender is better than a horizontal, person to person return for several reasons. One, is that a direct, horizontal return to sender can feel like a psychic attack, to the recipient, even though it is only their own stuff returning. They will probably get your feelings about it as well... whereas, the vertical return means Goddess will give the stuff back in whatever form is best for them: which could be anything, an insight, an experience or a winning lottery ticket!

:    It usually works very well... tho once in a while someone will be persistent in sending me their karma, and I will have to set up a mirror shield against it to reflect it back to them automatically, and give myself a breathing space to look inward and discover what it is within myself that attracted the occurrence.

:   Sometimes the body will also go on the defensive... the reflection effect can turn into a berserker effect that I am not in control of. It rarely happens anymore, because I am more mindful of staying in my body, paying attention to the zone alarm that is the power chakra! Power chakra defines boundaries, and will always tell you if your boundaries are not being respected, or if your actions will create karma because they are not respectful of the boundaries/free will of another.

:     I am a slave to Goddess, I really have no conscience or morality of my own, but Her will for me as defined by the messages of my power chakra.

:    Recently, one of my Priestesses was complaining about how all the Witches she knows, including me, keep telling her to avoid using magic to manipulate people... especially as she sees me sometimes being very manipulative, but had been afraid to say so.
:    I explained that the difference is that she wants to manipulate people for personal gain, which is a really bad idea. I am manipulative, but not for personal gain. If Goddess tells me to poke someone so they will grow or surrender, then I do and there is no karma because it is "right action!"  

:    Recently, the same priestess decided she wanted me to help heal her severely diabetic husband, and I came down with a persistent sore throat, like I have not had in 10 years!

:   The sore throat lasted for two weeks, and I could not heal it or figure out where it was coming from... until I actually did the session with him. Two weeks was the length of time between her deciding she would give me responsibility for his stuff, and me doing a session with him. She was unconsciously sending me his stuff!
:   After the session, the sore throat was gone but I kept getting all kinds of other reactions. Sending the stuff back to him via Goddess, would give me a few clear moments and then the symptoms came right back again. I got the message to use blame to get him to take responsibility for himself... He does not take care of himself, and as a result has diabetic comas, flip outs and has lost all the toes on both feet. He will not take care of himself for his own sake, but discovering that his not doing the karma cleansing and affirmation homework was making me ill, motivated him a lot better!  I hate playing the victim, but Goddess set it up like that.

:     I finally went to another healer to get it sorted out. Her diagnosis was that my Priestess and her husband were slackers who took very little responsibility for their results, and were only too willing to hand it to me.

:    I tend to take far too much responsibility, because of my dominant persona, resistance to victimhood and compassionate heart... I was unconsciously allowing them to send me their stuff,  out of love... same game as before, with slaves... my pattern coming up again.

:    So, those are some of the experiences that line in the lesson refers to. Usually I do not care to talk about them, much. They are not part of the lesson because they are mostly specific to me, my ADD/empathy/Dom vulnerabilities.

:   In the past, I did have one FST student who took unfair advantage of them, out of sheer jealousy... She felt my vibration in a session and decided to speed her own process by dumping all her stuff onto me. It took me a few months to recover. It upset me so much I came very close to deleting the whole course!

:   I think she had some sort of learning disability which meant that she would understand the opposite of what was said. Some kind of entity showed up in place of her DB, and I told her to send it into the light. She responded, "I have been sending it into the blackness but it comes right back." Weird.

: : Also, I'm at the point where I'm getting to know my 3rd chakra.  I can tell you, I had more fun with the 2nd!  I discovered how to find most of my challenges interesting and empowering, which is a nice change.   I don't know if saying thank you is appropriate, but I really feel that it wasn't until you asked Goddess with me to connect my first chakra that this really started to click for me, so I am very grateful.

:   Thank you Goddess!

: : If it comes to mind, can you suggest 2-3 lessons that you feel would specifically help me with my 3rd chakra exploration, and/or will provide me with tools for better understanding what I'm discovering?

: Not that I can think of. It I think of any later, I'll let you know. It is experiential, really. An evolutionary process. Level 2 will contain games and experiences to set you up for understanding... I'm devotng a whole section of the course to just that!

:    The more you focus on power chakra awareness, the more you become aware of how power games between people affect it, and in particular, what your own tendencies and vulnerabilities are.

: : It feels like a cluttered mess (maybe I should say "Goddess, bless this mess" LOL) - and my inner voice isn't so clear with this.  I'm not being specific with my surrender.  

: Power chakra issues can be labyrinthine... The stuff I expressed in this post took many years to uncover, and still is not wholly resolved. I am moved to tell you to pay attention to your dreams. The astral world of dreams is an aspect of the power chakra, so observing your dreams will give you insights into your issues.

:    Blessings!!

: Thank you soooooooooo much for not deleting the course!  I trust I would have learnt it somehow, but I can't imagine a more direct path.

Well, the outcome was a realization that I had been taking too much responsibility for my students process. That is why that student had been able to dump her stuff onto me. The out come was for me to surrender the course, give it to Goddess. She does that sometimes, part of my orbit is to get so pissed at something I am attached to, that I want to chuck it all. The perversity of my surrender. It ended, for the best.

  Glad you enjoy the course! As Goddess Wills.

: I'm keeping the text you wrote in a Word file so I can refer to it.  Is there a problem with that?

No, no problem. Next time I update the course, I will remove the left click javascript. My attachment to the copyrights and my responsibility for my students process are related issues.

: I'm finding myself simply mentioning the course sometimes now, and am surrounded with people of like mind.

Well, thanks for the promotion!

:  Even when seemingly bad things happen, I feel somewhat glad because I know it's actually for the best, and start to look for hidden opportunities.

: FST 1 is all about loving my self, isn't it?  I feel I am transforming into a butterfly!  

Wheeee!! Blessings...

: Love and Joy,

: Lady Jade

: :   In the past, I did have one FST student who took unfair advantage of them, out of sheer jealousy... She felt my vibration in a session and decided to speed her own process by dumping all her stuff onto me. It took me a few months to recover. It upset me so much I came very close to deleting the whole course!

: :   I think she had some sort of learning disability which meant that she would understand the opposite of what was said. Some kind of entity showed up in place of her DB, and I told her to send it into the light. She responded, "I have been sending it into the blackness but it comes right back." Weird.