Hello Beautiful Mystress, hello everyone,
We gladly continue our magical trantra journey and were very happy to find a new lesson on the Shadow. Actually I am trying to ponder on the Shadow since your told first about it many lessons ago. I hv a bit trouble to place it. The Divine Beloved it goes easy, but the shadow remains a sort of mystery.
Is the Shadow the sort counterpart from the qualities you aim at cultivating?
For instance in my case, I have been aiming at being a non-violent since I was 15 years old, am a meditation teacher since I am 20, and my whole life goes towards more and more love.
But still there is a little corner of hardness in me which never wants to leave. Like an unpleasant little voice suggesting me to be aggressive, giving me funny invitation or funny comments who are the antipode of what I hold as valid.
I do understand and it is pretty easy to not judge others, to let them the freedom of their behavior and feeling, but I do not find it easy to let this little hard corner the same freedom. I would prefer it to melt. And I feel I do have to make a judgement on his suggestions, since if I would go by them it would create a havoc...
Is this the shadow?
You say that the shadow is the karma, is there a time where there is no more shadow, or is the shadow a constant companion as long as we are incarnated, as the Divine Beloved is a constant companion?
You say the best way to deal with the shadow is to give him unconditional love, you mean by this to offer him to Goddess whenever the little voice starts up again, or whenever a tendency to hardness comes? I find it difficult to not resist him and not to wish he would disappear...
Thank you for your guidance.
The quotes you give at the beginning of the lessons are very inspiring. You must have put a lot of time and energy to make this course...We appreciate it deeply.
Love
DeviRam

Dear DeviRam,

It's great that you're having a good relationship with your divine beloved.  That part of the course is progressing slowly for me, but there is progress.

I'm sure there's a lot about the shadow I don't understand yet, but to me, the shadow was clearly defined with the phrase "the shadow is everything you think you are not".

Here is an example of how I perceive my shadow in my life. Whenever I find myself in judgement, or I find myself feeling negatively about someone or myself, I know it's my shadow telling me something.  So I don't focus on the negative feelings or thoughts that stem from judgment, because I developed the habit of immediately turning the judgment towards myself, and seeing how it applies to me.  Then I say thank you.  This has helped me a great deal as well in asserting myself, since I don't give away my power to the other person.  When I see what's going on inside me, I am better equipped to express my viewpoint simply, as opposed to complaining or defending myself to the other person.  But the shadow was there, to alert me there is something that needs to be looked upon.

So, that was my example!

Love and Joy,

Lady Jade

: Dear DeviRam,
Hello dear friend, thanks for your reply, it is very enriching. I was talking to a friend the other day who just said to him the shadow is the unconscious. Then it seems very simple....
Lots of love.
: It's great that you're having a good relationship with your divine beloved.  That part of the course is progressing slowly for me, but there is progress.

: I'm sure there's a lot about the shadow I don't understand yet, but to me, the shadow was clearly defined with the phrase "the shadow is everything you think you are not".

: Here is an example of how I perceive my shadow in my life. Whenever I find myself in judgement, or I find myself feeling negatively about someone or myself, I know it's my shadow telling me something.  So I don't focus on the negative feelings or thoughts that stem from judgment, because I developed the habit of immediately turning the judgment towards myself, and seeing how it applies to me.  Then I say thank you.  This has helped me a great deal as well in asserting myself, since I don't give away my power to the other person.  When I see what's going on inside me, I am better equipped to express my viewpoint simply, as opposed to complaining or defending myself to the other person.  But the shadow was there, to alert me there is something that needs to be looked upon.

: So, that was my example!

: Love and Joy,

: Lady Jade

:  

Lady Jade:

  Your interpretation is exactly right, and it is how I was going to respond, myself when I first read DeviRam's question when it was posted.

 I used to do experiements, on the K-list of responding to email with my thoughts, then waiting to see who wrote them up and posted them... and then it occured to me, "We are the transmitters of thoughts, not the originators" --(Itzak Bentov) So who was to say if it was my thoughts that were being written!

 Thanks for your post!

 My druid and I bought a house last month, and I have been so busy with moving, I have not had time to spend at my computer lately. Beautiful house! Lots of work!!

 DeviRam: Experiencing the Shadow as a separate being, like the Divine Beloved but a harsh teacher, is unique to Shamans. For Kundalites, the Shadow is as Lady Jade describes. A Reflection of separation (What you think you are not) projected onto other people. Rarely, it will also show up as a persona in a dream, but not as a constant companion, as it is in the Shamans path.

Be glad of it! I would not wish the Shaman's path on my worst enemy, it makes Kundalini look like a pleasant stroll through flowers. For a Shaman, the shadow is also the archetype of Death. Shamanic initiation is fatal, about 1/3 of the time... and the possibility of psychosis is much greater. Even so, it is not something I *could* wish on someone. Shamans are born with the gift, not made or initiated by human hands.  

I came to love my Shadow self, for all he taught me, his many gifts... but I also tried to excorcise him many times, and learning to trust his harsh, critical, sadistic  and sarcastic persona took me many years. I still second guess him, sometimes!

  I did not really get to meet and interact with my DB, till after years of training by the Shadow... though his face was in my mind, as the man of my desires from a fairly young age.  

 Question for everyone who is past that lesson: Is it not clearly described? I am wondering if I need to edit the essay to be clearer.

 Blessings!

: Dear DeviRam,

: It's great that you're having a good relationship with your divine beloved.  That part of the course is progressing slowly for me, but there is progress.

: I'm sure there's a lot about the shadow I don't understand yet, but to me, the shadow was clearly defined with the phrase "the shadow is everything you think you are not".

: Here is an example of how I perceive my shadow in my life. Whenever I find myself in judgement, or I find myself feeling negatively about someone or myself, I know it's my shadow telling me something.  So I don't focus on the negative feelings or thoughts that stem from judgment, because I developed the habit of immediately turning the judgment towards myself, and seeing how it applies to me.  Then I say thank you.  This has helped me a great deal as well in asserting myself, since I don't give away my power to the other person.  When I see what's going on inside me, I am better equipped to express my viewpoint simply, as opposed to complaining or defending myself to the other person.  But the shadow was there, to alert me there is something that needs to be looked upon.

: So, that was my example!

: Love and Joy,

: Lady Jade

:  

:  Question for everyone who is past that lesson: Is it not clearly described? I am wondering if I need to edit the essay to be clearer.

Hello Dearest Mystress!

I found the lesson very clear. In fact, I'll take this opportunity to say that I agree with DeviRam, and all the lessons are very complete and thorough.

It's the assimilation of the lessons, on all possible levels, that takes a little time...  That's fine with me, as I love what I'm learning!!  It's as though I'm learning how to play a new instrument, and I'm at the point where I'm confident in my playing, but far from a virtuoso LOL.

I am curious: is the Shaman initiation so difficult because it is needed for growth?  I.e. A soul reaches a certain level, and in order to go beyond that level, that soul must be strong enough to deal with the intensity you had to face during your initiation?

Congratulations to both of you on your new home, I'm very happy for you!

Love and Joy,

Lady Jade

: But still there is a little corner of hardness in me which never wants to leave. Like an unpleasant little voice suggesting me to be aggressive, giving me funny invitation or funny comments who are the antipode of what I hold as valid.

Hee hee...I have that little voice too.....it is constantly feeding me funny quips to say.....some are just plain funny, and others are mean and just plain insulting. A lot o the time the thought becomes words before I've had a chance to filter it and I find myself saying 'I can't believe I said that!' Sometimes this gets me in trouble, sometimes not. When I actually have time to ponder whether I should say it or not, I ask DB and try to listen to the answers given by my body. We do need to express that sarcastic, sardonic side of ourselves, however, we need to consider other's feelings. So I try to let DB decide which is more important. And I can always joke with DB anyway, although he's generally the one who gave me the quip in the first place. Or would that be my Shadow? I must admit, I do tend to get the two confused.

Whoops, never mind, got grounded and got the answer. It is human nature to want to say agressive, sarcastic, and potentially insulting quips;it keeps relationships from getting too complacent. Humans need peace and balance, but if there is TOO much peace and balance, we are also biologically wired to create stress for ourselves so natural selection can weed out the strong and keep the gene pool varied to prevent stagnation.

So these quips for me are not so much the Shadow as they are my need to keep things changing. Too much peace and love equals not enough power games; and humans need to express power games in a safe, sane and consensual manner; it is our nature. So maybe I'm projecting my stuff at you, DSeviRam, but I feel that maybe you have embraced peace and love and kindness to the point where there is no room for you to change, or grow, or vary...it is the Temperance card in the Tarot....things are balanced, peaceful and harmonious, but there is too much complacency and stagnation and nothing changes. Nothing moves. And therefore nothing grows. And if things stop changing and growing, then life ceases to exist. Again, I may be way off-base and projecting.....but thank you for bringing this up so I could realize this about me.

: I do understand and it is pretty easy to not judge others, to let them the freedom of their behavior and feeling, but I do not find it easy to let this little hard corner the same freedom. I would prefer it to melt. And I feel I do have to make a judgement on his suggestions, since if I would go by them it would create a havoc...

It is hard to accept the inner bitch. Amongst my friends, I try hard to be diplomatic and not step on toes; however, when my friends are being inconsiderate of me, I point that out the best way I can. So I too am often caught between what I want to say and what I should actually say. I am well aware of my 'hard little corner'; I accept and love it, but it's hard to express it in society; but I am finding more and more I can express these judgements, petty quips, funny quips and sarcastic burns to DB......but there are times when what I have to say is either too funny or too important to keep in. I think maybe as I become more grounded, then I will say what is needed auto-pilot and keep to myself what others do not need to hear.

Well, this has been quite the week for epiphanies. But I always find myself caught in transforamtion mode during Eostara anyway...it is my time to descend into the Underworld and come back out with a deeper appreciation for the darkness, and hence a deeper appreciation for the light. Love to all.

Sabrina

Well then,

After I hit the submit button, my body started quivering, shaking, trembling and twitching.....apparently I hit some personal nerves and now my k-fire is going nuts.....I'm like a Pentecostal at a tent revivial meeting. Very weird..but cool.

Sabrina