Hello everyone, we are now at the lesson on Divine Beloved, when we tried to view the video we got the start all right but then a black screen and nothing...Is anyone elso having problems with the video right now or is it just us ?
Mystress, the Divine Beloved appeared to me as masculine-feminine, can that be? First He looked quite like the Jesus I love, the happy one with long hair floatting in the wind, the name I heard is Joshua, with a long a at the end...The form then turned more feminine, like pure softness in Goddess form, and now it is masculine-feminine...
One day already a few weeks ago I had a feeling that the whole universe was making love with me, it was quite physical but still quite abstract, like if love would play with my sex organs in a very tender and soft way. This night the caresses of the Divine Beloved seemed a bit like this, but I cannot really say it is someone outside of "me"who was caressing me, more love caressing love and the "me"was melted in the Divine Beloved, not as 2 separate entities but as one with 2 sides. Is this too abstract?
I read a few of the recent posts and enjoyed the one where you talk about the relationship between men and women a lot. When we make love with my husband we both aim at him not losing his energy, ie trying to stop just before the semen flows out. He resents the loss of energy he feels, and I resent him feeling a loss of energy. So we prefer it that way. But then could it be the reason why I do not really reach what other describe as big-bang-orgasm? I do feel very intense pleasure and fullness and unity, but still no physical big bang...I still wonder about it...
Love to all
DeviRam

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: Hello everyone, we are now at the lesson on Divine Beloved, when we tried to view the video we got the start all right but then a black screen and nothing...Is anyone elso having problems with the video right now or is it just us ?

I tried it, it works fine. Compare what you are seeing to the transcript, then you will know if you are missing anything.

: Mystress, the Divine Beloved appeared to me as masculine-feminine, can that be?

It can take any form, but usually if you are seeing something like that, it is not the DB.

: First He looked quite like the Jesus I love, the happy one with long hair floatting in the wind, the name I heard is Joshua, with a long a at the end...The form then turned more feminine, like pure softness in Goddess form, and now it is masculine-feminine...
: One day already a few weeks ago I had a feeling that the whole universe was making love with me, it was quite physical but still quite abstract, like if love would play with my sex organs in a very tender and soft way. This night the caresses of the Divine Beloved seemed a bit like this, but I cannot really say it is someone outside of "me"who was caressing me,

The DB is not outside of you. It is you, your body mind.

: more love caressing love and the "me"was melted in the Divine Beloved, not as 2 separate entities but as one with 2 sides. Is this too abstract?

No, it is truth. You are one being with two sides, ego and DB. We make them more separate to allow for communication and surrender.

: I read a few of the recent posts and enjoyed the one where you talk about the relationship between men and women a lot. When we make love with my husband we both aim at him not losing his energy, ie trying to stop just before the semen flows out. He resents the loss of energy he feels, and I resent him feeling a loss of energy.

Let go of resentment. Resenting the loss is scarcity consciousness. Instead, give the energy to Goddess, and She will give it back, multiplied. Possibly in a different form... but energy is infinite.
 I'm not saying you have to stop the withholding, but it can be a little frustrating, eh? All that effort at control. Let love be free to flow... or spurt!

:So we prefer it that way. But then could it be the reason why I do not really reach what other describe as big-bang-orgasm?

If I am in empathy with my lover, and he is interrupting his orgasms, it stops mine too.

:I do feel very intense pleasure and fullness and unity, but still no physical big bang...I still wonder about it...

Try to have an orgasm on your own. Pleasure yourself, do not always be dependent on your husband to give you pleasure.

  Blessings...
: Love to all
: DeviRam