I've been at a new job for a couple of months now...I've mentioned before about some of the things.  To me a new job generally means getting into some 'other'world and creating an ego that compliments that world.  I tend to do things like that w/out mindfulness of my empathic tendencies - take on other ppls mannerisms and such.  So I've been seeing how things work - you know - what gets done, what doesn't, etc..  This week though, several times, it seems I'm also seeing the 'what goes around' side of the 'what comes around goes around' adage we sometimes associate with karma.  I'm surrendering what I notice, but also, this ego that is developing as a means for me to interact in that 'other' world is just that - an ego - and it's gotten a bit defensive on some occasions while trying to step into things and finding the paths full of baggage and crap created 'before' it got there.  Not all of the things I'm thinking of could be considered a direct result from a specific action, really, but there's like a pervasive attitude in some areas - like I'm at a place with a bad reputation...and in some cases it seems I'm dealing with people who may have cause to make that kind of assumption, other cases it seems I'm dealing with people who reflect that kind of behavior to show me the face.  I'm trying to remain detached and remind myself that it's all o.k....it just seems to have gotten really thick this week.  So my ego wants to fix it all on the one hand; make changes, take on responsibilities, and raise the bar that seems to be down there with the bottom feeders, (look - this ego has martyr stars in her eyes! lol) and then I wrestle with the fact that it may not be meant to be and that no matter what my new ego can or will do, it still could be destined to fail. I'm wondering about some major/heavy duty effective ways to process the karma...Mystress I know you mentioned that as far as a bubble spell to do only my office, which I did, but with this stuff right here, up front and center, in my face...I wonder if I'm meant to address it.

THANKS if you indulged me enough to read this whole thing!  : )  Love to all.

Peace,
Carla  

From your title and your e-mail, it's clear at least you know you are learning from what appears to be problems.  

I have delt with this situation many times too.  This e-mail is written with "best intentions", but we know what that can do sometimes, so please keep in mind that I write this with deep respect for your path and much gratitude that you care about your space and those around you.

: I've been at a new job for a couple of months now...I've mentioned before about some of the things.  To me a new job generally means getting into some 'other'world and creating an ego that compliments that world.  

Did you have this idea before you started your job?  Because it looks like you got your wish and grew a brand new ego ;-)

:I tend to do things like that w/out mindfulness of my empathic tendencies - take on other ppls mannerisms and such.  So I've been seeing how things work - you know - what gets done, what doesn't, etc..  This week though, several times, it seems I'm also seeing the 'what goes around' side of the 'what comes around goes around' adage we sometimes associate with karma.  I'm surrendering what I notice, but also, this ego that is developing as a means for me to interact in that 'other' world is just that - an ego - and it's gotten a bit defensive on some occasions while trying to step into things and finding the paths full of baggage and crap created 'before' it got there.  Not all of the things I'm thinking of could be considered a direct result from a specific action, really, but there's like a pervasive attitude in some areas - like I'm at a place with a bad reputation...and in some cases it seems I'm dealing with people who may have cause to make that kind of assumption, other cases it seems I'm dealing with people who reflect that kind of behavior to show me the face.  

I agree with you that it is very disturbing to be with people who are not like-minded.  Do you like the tasks you perform at work? Maybe you are not in a place where you want to be.  Do you know where you want to be?  Knowing helps.

:I'm trying to remain detached and remind myself that it's all o.k....it just seems to have gotten really thick this week.  

Are you grounded?  I don't get grounded very deeply yet when I feel disturbing emotions, but every little bit helps.  Day by day, you know the song...

:So my ego wants to fix it all on the one hand; make changes, take on responsibilities, and raise the bar that seems to be down there with the bottom feeders,

Maybe people around you sense your wish to "raise the bar" for them, and perhaps they feel a little insulted?  Who knows better than them what is good for them?  When they ask for help, great, but otherwise, you can only work on your own space.

:(look - this ego has martyr stars in her eyes! lol) and then I wrestle with the fact that it may not be meant to be and that no matter what my new ego can or will do, it still could be destined to fail.

What is failure to you?  Why would you fail?  At what?  In a way, I suppose I too "failed" everytime because I leave everytime, but I never see failure in my actions.

:I'm wondering about some major/heavy duty effective ways to process the karma...

Let me know when you do please LOL

Mystress I know you mentioned that as far as a bubble spell to do only my office, which I did, but with this stuff right here, up front and center, in my face...I wonder if I'm meant to address it.

Good luck with this issue Carla.  I hope it is resolved soon, it sounds really yucky...  May you find your passion soon too - if it's what you wish, of course ;-)

I hope you let us know what you learn and how things improve for you.

: THANKS if you indulged me enough to read this whole thing!  : )  Love to all.

You're welcome.  Thanks for sharing.

: Peace,
: Carla  

Thanks for the response.  I%rsquove done the cut and paste thing into a word processor so I can
more easily reply to your questions and comments.  I appreciate your input and thank you
for your respect.  Namaste.

: Hi Carla,

: Did you have this idea before you started your job?  Because it looks like you got your
wish and grew a brand new ego ;-)

Not really - Mystress%rsquo descriptions of the ego have helped me to define it this way.  I've almost always gone into new situations without this sort of clarity, which made for lots of
confusion and discomfort.  (Not everyone thinks like me??)  ; )

(snip)
: I agree with you that it is very disturbing to be with people who are not like-minded.  Do
you like the tasks you perform at work? Maybe you are not in a place where you want to
be.  Do you know where you want to be?  Knowing helps.

I have only had rare opportunities in this lifetime to be with like minded ppl, so it%rsquos not
terribly difficult to get past that (though it%rsquos taken a long time to get here.)  The things I
do at work are not fulfilling in many ways, but they are things that I do well and the place
offers much that I appreciate right now.  

: Are you grounded?  I don't get grounded very deeply yet when I feel disturbing
emotions, but every little bit helps.  Day by day, you know the song...

Yes - I can pretty much stay grounded - it%rsquos helped me to remain detached as I witness
and try to define all these things.  It%rsquos not disturbing me as emotionally as it might have
come across in my post.  Though I noticed my new ego getting defensive, I didn%rsquot act on
it very strongly or anything, But noticing it helped me realize what was going on
with/inside me in response to the stuff at work.

: Maybe people around you sense your wish to "raise the bar" for them, and perhaps they
feel a little insulted?  Who knows better than them what is good for them?  When they ask
for help, great, but otherwise, you can only work on your own space.

I don%rsquot know - I%rsquom alone most of the time, very small office, and I%rsquom keeping to myself
when I%rsquom not, reminding myself throughout the day to reset my fields and use only my
energy.  And since I%rsquom the *fng*, I%rsquom the one with all the requests for help.  : )  I%rsquom sure
it%rsquos possible  - stuff could be projected onto me - that%rsquos not really rare - and maybe that%rsquos
where some of it%rsquos coming from.

: :(look - this ego has martyr stars in her eyes! lol) and then I wrestle with the fact that it
may not be meant to be and that no matter what my new ego can or will do, it still could
be destined to fail.

: What is failure to you?  Why would you fail?  At what?  In a way, I suppose I too
"failed" everytime because I leave everytime, but I never see failure in my actions.

I didn%rsquot mean that I would fail - I was referring to the business where I work.  I don%rsquot
think leaving a place where you are uncomfortable is a sign of failure.  Jeez - I worked for
a place that was so awful for me that my stomach literally started hurting on my way
there.  But I stayed for 3 years.  What a dumbass!   ; )
:
: :I'm wondering about some major/heavy duty effective ways to process the karma...

: Let me know when you do please LOL

O.K. : ) I was thinking along the lines of a white tornado if I were to act on trying to process
the stuff around me, but at this point it seems invasive and not the right decision.

: Good luck with this issue Carla.  I hope it is resolved soon, it sounds really yucky...
May you find your passion soon too - if it's what you wish, of course ;-)

Thank you for discussing it with me.  I will try to maintain some semblance of detachment as I watch this new ego play things out.

Peace,
Carla

: Hi everyone,

: I've been at a new job for a couple of months now...I've mentioned before about some of the things.  To me a new job generally means getting into some 'other'world and creating an ego that compliments that world.  I tend to do things like that w/out mindfulness of my empathic tendencies - take on other ppls mannerisms and such.  So I've been seeing how things work - you know - what gets done, what doesn't, etc..  This week though, several times, it seems I'm also seeing the 'what goes around' side of the 'what comes around goes around' adage we sometimes associate with karma.  I'm surrendering what I notice, but also, this ego that is developing as a means for me to interact in that 'other' world is just that - an ego - and it's gotten a bit defensive on some occasions while trying to step into things and finding the paths full of baggage and crap created 'before' it got there.  Not all of the things I'm thinking of could be considered a direct result from a specific action, really, but there's like a pervasive attitude in some areas - like I'm at a place with a bad reputation...and in some cases it seems I'm dealing with people who may have cause to make that kind of assumption, other cases it seems I'm dealing with people who reflect that kind of behavior to show me the face.  I'm trying to remain detached and remind myself that it's all o.k....it just seems to have gotten really thick this week.  So my ego wants to fix it all on the one hand; make changes, take on responsibilities, and raise the bar that seems to be down there with the bottom feeders, (look - this ego has martyr stars in her eyes! lol) and then I wrestle with the fact that it may not be meant to be and that no matter what my new ego can or will do, it still could be destined to fail. I'm wondering about some major/heavy duty effective ways to process the karma...Mystress I know you mentioned that as far as a bubble spell to do only my office, which I did, but with this stuff right here, up front and center, in my face...I wonder if I'm meant to address it.

: THANKS if you indulged me enough to read this whole thing!  : )  Love to all.

: Peace,
: Carla  

It sounds like you're on the right track.  I admire you very much for what you've achieved. If you are at a help desk, you must deal with all kinds of people (and not always like-minded, like you mention).  And you stay grounded!  Wow...  

Why would the tornado be invasive to other people, if localised in your own space?  I'd like to use that visualisation, it feels efficient.

I think I understand what you mean about growing a new ego.  

After establishing a successful home business doing translations, which is going strong, it appears I'm going to give that up to going back to working in an office, due to completely unrelated circumstances.

The circumstances underlying this turn of events have created a situation that I find disturbing, and I'm not grounded at all.  However, I'm much better at observing what's going on instead of acting on my emotions, and whenever I do the grounding meditation, there seems to be a lot of inner stuff happening, and I'm at least grounded for a few blissful minutes.

I guess I'm going to have to grow a new ego, and the one I have right now really doesn't like that idea...  It's not the ego I was hoping to create, and that disturbs me most of all.

I think it's K doing its magic; I just hope I interpret the magic correctly LOL.

You mention:  "The things I do at work are not fulfilling in many ways, but they are things that I do well and the place offers much that I appreciate right now".

This is what I say all the time when I work in a corporate environment.  How can one know that one is in the right place, as opposed to arguing for one's limitations and staying in an unfulfilling place that offers advantages?  I'm asking this because it sounds like you've weighed this seeming paradox before, and maybe what you have to say on this topic will assist me to make the right decision, if you feel like it.

Actually, anyone who reads this is most welcome to comment.

Carla, the people you work with must be very happy to have you in their team.

May Goddess bless you and illumine your path always!

Love,

Nadine

P.S. I truly try to keep my e-mails short, but I love writing a lot, does it show? LOL

: Hi Nadine,

: Thanks for the response.  I%rsquove done the cut and paste thing into a word processor so I can
: more easily reply to your questions and comments.  I appreciate your input and thank you
: for your respect.  Namaste.

:
: : Hi Carla,

:
: : Did you have this idea before you started your job?  Because it looks like you got your
: wish and grew a brand new ego ;-)

: Not really - Mystress%rsquo descriptions of the ego have helped me to define it this way.  I've almost always gone into new situations without this sort of clarity, which made for lots of
: confusion and discomfort.  (Not everyone thinks like me??)  ; )

: (snip)
: : I agree with you that it is very disturbing to be with people who are not like-minded.  Do
: you like the tasks you perform at work? Maybe you are not in a place where you want to
: be.  Do you know where you want to be?  Knowing helps.

: I have only had rare opportunities in this lifetime to be with like minded ppl, so it%rsquos not
: terribly difficult to get past that (though it%rsquos taken a long time to get here.)  The things I
: do at work are not fulfilling in many ways, but they are things that I do well and the place
: offers much that I appreciate right now.  

Sounds like what I say when I work in offices...

: : Are you grounded?  I don't get grounded very deeply yet when I feel disturbing
: emotions, but every little bit helps.  Day by day, you know the song...

: Yes - I can pretty much stay grounded - it%rsquos helped me to remain detached as I witness
: and try to define all these things.  It%rsquos not disturbing me as emotionally as it might have
: come across in my post.  Though I noticed my new ego getting defensive, I didn%rsquot act on
: it very strongly or anything, But noticing it helped me realize what was going on
: with/inside me in response to the stuff at work.

: : Maybe people around you sense your wish to "raise the bar" for them, and perhaps they
: feel a little insulted?  Who knows better than them what is good for them?  When they ask
: for help, great, but otherwise, you can only work on your own space.

: I don%rsquot know - I%rsquom alone most of the time, very small office, and I%rsquom keeping to myself
: when I%rsquom not, reminding myself throughout the day to reset my fields and use only my
: energy.  And since I%rsquom the *fng*, I%rsquom the one with all the requests for help.  : )  I%rsquom sure
: it%rsquos possible  - stuff could be projected onto me - that%rsquos not really rare - and maybe that%rsquos
: where some of it%rsquos coming from.

: : :(look - this ego has martyr stars in her eyes! lol) and then I wrestle with the fact that it
: may not be meant to be and that no matter what my new ego can or will do, it still could
: be destined to fail.

: : What is failure to you?  Why would you fail?  At what?  In a way, I suppose I too
: "failed" everytime because I leave everytime, but I never see failure in my actions.

: I didn%rsquot mean that I would fail - I was referring to the business where I work.  I don%rsquot
: think leaving a place where you are uncomfortable is a sign of failure.  Jeez - I worked for
: a place that was so awful for me that my stomach literally started hurting on my way
: there.  But I stayed for 3 years.  What a dumbass!   ; )
: :
: : :I'm wondering about some major/heavy duty effective ways to process the karma...

: : Let me know when you do please LOL

: O.K. : ) I was thinking along the lines of a white tornado if I were to act on trying to process
: the stuff around me, but at this point it seems invasive and not the right decision.

: : Good luck with this issue Carla.  I hope it is resolved soon, it sounds really yucky...
: May you find your passion soon too - if it's what you wish, of course ;-)

: Thank you for discussing it with me.  I will try to maintain some semblance of detachment as I watch this new ego play things out.

: Peace,
: Carla

It%rsquos been awhile - sorry for the delay....sometimes I have a hard time responding in a
timely matter, or at all even..

: It sounds like you're on the right track.  I admire you very much for what you've
achieved. If you are at a help desk, you must deal with all kinds of people (and not always
like-minded, like you mention).  And you stay grounded!  Wow...  

hehehe...I deal with some incredibly obnoxious ppl. Others are cool, of course, but the
obnoxious ones can take the ground right out of me if I%rsquom not mindful.  It%rsquos fun when
someone who%rsquos being a jerk has to call back again, after I%rsquove %lsquoprocessed%rsquo taking their
attitude, because there%rsquos none of their baggage crap hanging over me - just the memory of
it.  It%rsquos like  oh yea - the asshole %lsquoHow can I help you today?!%rdquo : )

: Why would the tornado be invasive to other people, if localized in your own space?  I'd
like to use that visualization, it feels efficient.

Because I want to surrender stuff that is someone else%rsquos.  The tornado seems to me to be a
powerful tool, but I can%rsquot use it here, effectively.

: I think I understand what you mean about growing a new ego.  

: After establishing a successful home business doing translations, which is going strong,
it appears I'm going to give that up to going back to working in an office, due to
completely unrelated circumstances.

Yea, it%rsquos kindof like hearing %ldquoBrace Yourself%rdquo and then doing that.

: The circumstances underlying this turn of events have created a situation that I find
disturbing, and I'm not grounded at all.  However, I'm much better at observing what's
going on instead of acting on my emotions, and whenever I do the grounding meditation,
there seems to be a lot of inner stuff happening, and I'm at least grounded for a few
blissful minutes.

I%rsquod suggest reminding yourself to use only your energy also, as Mystress has told us
before.  Empathy may be partly the reason you get ungrounded so quickly.

: I guess I'm going to have to grow a new ego, and the one I have right now really doesn't
like that idea...  It's not the ego I was hoping to create, and that disturbs me most of all.
snip.....
: This is what I say all the time when I work in a corporate environment.  How can one
know that one is in the right place, as opposed to arguing for one's limitations and staying
in an unfulfilling place that offers advantages?  I'm asking this because it sounds like
you've weighed this seeming paradox before, and maybe what you have to say on this
topic will assist me to make the right decision, if you feel like it.

Is this the new ego for the corporate job?  If it%rsquos not right, the job won%rsquot last (I have that
t-shirt.  lol)  So don%rsquot worry either way - Goddess has it handled.

: May Goddess bless you and illumine your path always!

: Love,

: Nadine

Thank you, and to you, also.

Peace,
Carla

Don't worry about writing or not writing as far as I'm concerned, I understand it's not out of malice.  But thanks for your response :-)

Well, I've gone ahead and accepted that new job.  I'm all excited at working out my new soul muscles, so that's always a good sign.

The empathy that I was feeling was more of the "there is a big change coming"  variety, and my anxiety was due to my resistance (and/or pre-conceived notions) to the change.  That's not at all where I thought I was going or becoming.  But now that I know what the change is, and that there are changes occuring, all I can do is go through them as gracefully as possible.

Yep.  Smooth sailing from here, right? LOL  Why Not!

Thanks for your help Carla, and I'll take a page from your book and use this opportunity to fine-tune my personal space.

Love, Light and Joy!

Nadine

: Hi Nadine and all...

: It%rsquos been awhile - sorry for the delay....sometimes I have a hard time responding in a
: timely matter, or at all even..

: : It sounds like you're on the right track.  I admire you very much for what you've
: achieved. If you are at a help desk, you must deal with all kinds of people (and not always
: like-minded, like you mention).  And you stay grounded!  Wow...  

: hehehe...I deal with some incredibly obnoxious ppl. Others are cool, of course, but the
: obnoxious ones can take the ground right out of me if I%rsquom not mindful.  It%rsquos fun when
: someone who%rsquos being a jerk has to call back again, after I%rsquove %lsquoprocessed%rsquo taking their
: attitude, because there%rsquos none of their baggage crap hanging over me - just the memory of
: it.  It%rsquos like  oh yea - the asshole %lsquoHow can I help you today?!%rdquo : )

:
: : Why would the tornado be invasive to other people, if localized in your own space?  I'd
: like to use that visualization, it feels efficient.

: Because I want to surrender stuff that is someone else%rsquos.  The tornado seems to me to be a
: powerful tool, but I can%rsquot use it here, effectively.

: : I think I understand what you mean about growing a new ego.  

: : After establishing a successful home business doing translations, which is going strong,
: it appears I'm going to give that up to going back to working in an office, due to
: completely unrelated circumstances.

: Yea, it%rsquos kindof like hearing %ldquoBrace Yourself%rdquo and then doing that.

: : The circumstances underlying this turn of events have created a situation that I find
: disturbing, and I'm not grounded at all.  However, I'm much better at observing what's
: going on instead of acting on my emotions, and whenever I do the grounding meditation,
: there seems to be a lot of inner stuff happening, and I'm at least grounded for a few
: blissful minutes.

: I%rsquod suggest reminding yourself to use only your energy also, as Mystress has told us
: before.  Empathy may be partly the reason you get ungrounded so quickly.

: : I guess I'm going to have to grow a new ego, and the one I have right now really doesn't
: like that idea...  It's not the ego I was hoping to create, and that disturbs me most of all.
: snip.....
: : This is what I say all the time when I work in a corporate environment.  How can one
: know that one is in the right place, as opposed to arguing for one's limitations and staying
: in an unfulfilling place that offers advantages?  I'm asking this because it sounds like
: you've weighed this seeming paradox before, and maybe what you have to say on this
: topic will assist me to make the right decision, if you feel like it.

: Is this the new ego for the corporate job?  If it%rsquos not right, the job won%rsquot last (I have that
: t-shirt.  lol)  So don%rsquot worry either way - Goddess has it handled.

: : May Goddess bless you and illumine your path always!

: : Love,

: : Nadine

: Thank you, and to you, also.

: Peace,
: Carla