Shadow...

[DaveP]

Goddess, please lift the insights so I can surrender and love this dark ugly side that I have created.

I asked my DB to introduce my shadow to me so that I can speak to it direct. With an angry inpatient tone its first words where "what the f*** do you want... you shit head".  I replied, that’s not very nice treating me with disrespect (I remember my power chakra getting really hot at this time). Then the shadow said, "go screw yourself" Well, I just cracked up with laughter and was guided to sent unconditional love to it from the Witness State, and it chilled out. The sarcasm seems to be like an old friend coming to the surface, an old part of me that protected me as a child growing up in a tough area, I had to be strong to guard me from the shit other people sometimes directed at me. If someone would challenge me I would never back down, so I learned to fight with my attitude as well as my fists. I feel like I am now merging this violent energy with my adult world through compassion and surrender and to embrace this old friend.

It’s so funny, makes me laugh with its one-liners. I have to hold back, and listen before speaking to others, as some of the stuff would be very offensive to most people.  In a way I definitely feel a change in me, more together somehow. I suppressed my violent defensive attitude years ago when I started work…thats why it came up ugly now and then.

I do realize this is just a fraction of what is to be uncovered.

Thank you…

[Sigmund]

Thank you for sharing your successes, Dave.  Good seeing you again. 

[Mari]

For me Shadow work is something really beautiful, and people who do it look even more beautiful to me. You are beautiful. It's like unwrapping dark presents (one at a time hopefully). Being afraid at first but then when you have the courage to open it, it turns out to be big blessing 
When I look behind my biggest moments have come when I have surrendered to my Shadow. Beauty, innocence, love, humility, compassion...
I know I have my breaking points, and I'm not in a hurry to go there (anymore). One small step at a time.

[DaveP]

Love the analogy Mari... my energy expanded as I read it.

It truly is marvellous, when we begin to actually see the beauty within the shadow, the gift really does appear.

What has manifested since I have surrender to my shadow aspects is how calmer I feel around others and a deep compassion in letting people be who they are, without judgement. When someone tries to push my buttons, I smile within and recognize that this is an aspect of myself reflecting back, and send unconditional love to it, or it could be that someone is low on their energy and is using a control drama on me to vamp my own energy (this normally happens if my energy is low)... I recognize which drama it is they are using and smile inwardly and surrender it to goddess. Often, this actual changes their attitude towards me and the atmosphere calms down.



Thanks for your reply...

Namaste

[Mystress]

  I want to clarify: you do not surrender *to* your shadow, you surrender to Goddess and your Divine Beloved.  You love and accept your shadow, which transforms it.

  Surrendering *to* your shadow would mean acting out your worst self... don't go there!

   Blessings...

[Mari]

Thanks Mystress! Clarification was good, I see vision about it. Dunno can I put it into words. I'm happy about the fact that I have changed my perception about Shadow work so radically during FST. BUT pendulum swings, it could be that I romanticide the Shadow itself too much...and so confuse what's what. From 1998 my DB has tried to make me see this from different angle, and I wasn't a good student.
My DB has made a lot of effort to make me see that there's nothing in me that he wouldn't be madly in love with. Shadow confronts me with some yucky issues about myself, I hopefully do some navel gazing, then DB helps me see myself with those issues through his eyes so I can accept myself with them and then transform them one layer at a time. So yeah, I meant surrendering to DB and Goddess .

I want to say now that I hesitate writing here, is it either comfort or advice because of bad english... can cause misunderstandings and hurt somebody who is in a vulnerable place. But I feel that it's nice to get some replies from other students, so I'm gonna try to write sometimes anyway.

I'm happy that you liked my post to you Dave It made me happy!