Embracing change

[DaveP]

Goddess has tested my faith these past few weeks ~ one of the prime reasons for me starting this course was to save my marriage, ultimately opening my heart and compassion to help synchronize with my wife's very sensitive, extremely empathic energy. The ironic thing is it has had the adverse affect, we have put the house up for sale and we are spitting up.

We are very good friends with no animosity towards each other...we just don't seem to jell anymore...been like it for a few years now.  I've tried to discuss what I've been studying and she totally dismisses it, saying, "why don't you just live your life, you are always searching." My reply was in my opinion it seems natural to search and grow. She is closed, and set in her beliefs...we both agree, splitting up feels the right thing to do. When I feel my body mind, expressing the choice to try to make it work gives me a claustrophobic suppressed feeling, like I'm caged. When I listen to what change feels like in my body I feel light, open, creative and blissful...so I suppose that says it all.

Ever since starting FST I've surrender my marriage to Goddess everyday in the hope that it would come back better...in a way our friendship and warm regard for each other has grown but not the spiritual/physical bond that for both of us is very important. Too much water has passed under the bridge for her to consider keeping the marriage alive...I've hurt her so much in the past from my lack of emotional support and my passive-aggressive, particularly fear of intimacy, behaviour. With all my heart I truly regret my actions of the past, surrendered them and want to move on.

At the moment, I am constantly being comforted and reassured by my D.B. I can feel that she loves me, and says that it is a necessary change.

Just going with the flow embracing and honouring my inner love...I'm sure when the time is right Goddess will send me the right partner.

Thanks for listening; expressing my thoughts here really helps.

At this point I was going to summit this to the tea room when my Internet connection failed, couldn’t get on all night. Goddess works in mysterious ways, because I have had an experience that is truly amazing. I was waken in the early hours of this morning with a feeling of purity that I can only describe as being childlike, but within it an intense sexual loving impulse. I was guided to just embrace that…wow, beautiful, deep serenity, and very powerful bliss, which was constantly flowing through me and still is. Then my D. B. explained that I have fully retrieved my projection of her from my wife.

I see what you mean Mystress about you have to experience things to really understand them. I will honour my Divine Beloved first before any other. Thank you.

I wish my wife every bit of happiness in the future, and ask Goddess to clear the pain I've caused her...

Namaste

[Sigmund]

... read with appreciation and understanding of what you're going through.  I salute you and the divine within you. 

[Mystress]

At this point I was going to summit this to the tea room when my Internet connection failed, couldn’t get on all night. Goddess works in mysterious ways, because I have had an experience that is truly amazing. I was waken in the early hours of this morning with a feeling of purity that I can only describe as being childlike, but within it an intense sexual loving impulse. I was guided to just embrace that…wow, beautiful, deep serenity, and very powerful bliss, which was constantly flowing through me and still is. Then my D. B. explained that I have fully retrieved my projection of her from my wife.

I see what you mean Mystress about you have to experience things to really understand them. I will honour my Divine Beloved first before any other. Thank you.

    Aww Dave these two paragraphs brought a tear to my eye... so beautiful when someone really *gets* it.  The love of the DB is like no other you will ever find.  Projecting that onto another person and then expecting them to live up to it is more than madness, it is cruel... and that is our culture of love and romance. 

   Unfortunately the romantic brainwashing is so prevalent that just about the only people interested in hearing that message are older women who have been divorced repeatedly.  Follie au duex... insane by pairs.

   I sometimes get a sense of other people's relationships, whether there is permanence... and I could not even get the sense that you and your wife were even together.  Some shared property and a few old hurts, one might think you were room mates who met through an advertisement. 

   I think the failure of your marriage became sort of inevitable when you reclaimed your original gender,  especially as you mentioned your wife is sort of masculine in her ways.  You are just not the woman for her anymore... Sorry if that sounds... umm.. but I think you understand what I mean. If the marriage really did not work when you were both gender-switched, then it is really not going to work now you are both male and not gay.   A lot of folks experience a lot of guilt and feelings of failure when a marriage dissolves... I think you know, there is no need for it.  I see perfection.

   Congrats on greater unity with your DB! Woot!

    Blessings...

 

[DaveP]

Thanks for your replies:

When you first start a relationship and fall in love there is a feeling that ‘you can take on the world’…getting a constant feeling of this running through me, embracing me, wave after wave. If I express thanks to my Divine Beloved the energy return seems overwhelming. Yeah… Woot!

Been observing the changes in my perception: They say that love is blind…well since I’ve retrieved my projection of my D.B. I see that my wife’s energy is very masculine, even though she is a very attractive lady, with a beautiful famine body. Asked my inner light if my wife is a reverse gender…you sensed correctly, it didn’t dawn on me at all to ask this question, just didn’t see it.

I now feel a stronger sense and belief that *Goddess has it covered* so what will be *will be*

Words can’t begin to express my continuing gratitude for you sharing your profound knowledge. Thank you just doesn’t cut it.