Shakti exposure and human interactions

[Jennifer]

Greetings
I've been spending some time in the new SecondLife FST and what a trip!  Very fun and cool.  Also, there is lots of shakti all around from Mystress creating the place, being absorbed into all of us there, thru the computer.  Wow!  Technology is amazing!  And I have a crappy computer and am not seeing anything like what it "really" looks like with good graphics. The shakti to me is  strong, but feels good , and I'm experiencing spontaneous bliss for the first time.    And all is right with the world....as long as I'm in SecondLife.  I generally spend less than an hour a day at FST, so I don't feel like I'm excessively steeping myself in  Shakti or anything like that...but unfortunately, Things change when I leave my house.....
Normally my daily interactions with other people are extremely pleasant.  No conflicts, and I enjoy the opportunity to look people in the eye, smile, and thank them.  I see it as a simple way to live joyfully and respect others.  Since I started soaking myself in virtual shakti, um, people do not seem to like me at all.
I understand that my K can trigger the karma of others in such a manner.  Or, there could be some way that I am creating it of which I am not aware....but this really doesn't feel like my stuff, and it's shocking to me when it happens.
Not to mention, emotionally upsetting.  I am a very sensitive person and have a hard time when a stranger, or anyone for that matter is yelling at me.  Instead of reacting, I try to stay detached, make sure to project a calm demeanor so that I am not adding to conflict, and try to reason with the person.  Actively surrendering  during a situation like that for me feels reactionary, a bit white-knuckled, and not very, well, surrendered. And I don't know if I could access that on the spot yet, because I have a tendency to freeze for at least 30 seconds or so when yelled at. Reasoning usually does no good.  The person is upset, very upset, and they're going the be upset with ME whether that's reasonable or not.  That's how it feels.
So I surrender it afterwards, but I still am not really enjoying this part of the process.
As Mystress said once, we K folk are kali's waiters and I understand that.
But, ouch!  What could I do for myself here, emotionally, to stay in my highest self?  When these things happen I get ungrounded and sometimes start physically shaking and have to work diligently to reground for some time after.
I think that when they get mad at me, I must judge them, because otherwise why am I absorbing all this into my emotional and physical body?  So unwanted empathy seems  to be at play.  And possibly that's part of some sort of unconscious protective reaction for me.  But consciously, I do not feel that I judge.  I am too stunned to judge!
There have been times also when I did this to someone else, so I do have compassion for when people lose composure and dump their shit in the wrong place.
But it is also a drag for me.
I mean,  I want people to like me!
Aha! An attachment!
Goddess, please take that....it is a gift for you....thank you.
Anything else I'm missing here?  Anyone else noticing this?  I'm just going to surrender to this experience, and accept it and experience it until it shifts like everything does, and not see it as a drag but as a blessing and an opportunity for me to learn, and to better understand my role in life as a K person. I Now that I've surrendered to it, I won't be surprised when conflict happens, and will instead be expecting it, and things will shift because of that, I believe. 
Namaste
Jen

[Mystress]

  I am very interested in your report Jennifer although I am not sure what to make of it.  Interested to hear thoughts from others.

  Stray thoughts off the top, may or not be valid:
  The site is unfinished, so it is not "set" like an FST lesson which is sort of coded to connect to my Shakti outside of time... whereas a work in progress is still sort of connected to my real time self and I have had a very chaotic week.

  My sense though is, that spending time there has amped your own Shakti field and you have not yet learned to turn it inward.  

I enjoy the opportunity to look people in the eye, smile, and thank them.

I was explaining to someone recently, that I do not do that.  I got Shaktipat lazer beams coming out my eyes and Shaktipat has to be consensual so I have learned to keep my gaze moving and avoid looking people in the eye without appearing to be avoiding looking people in the eye. "I did not trust her, she would not look me in the eye"

  For example, a grocery cashier will get a quick glance hello maybe in the eyes but really a sort of soft focus nose/forehead and then I will be busy looking at my purchases or digging in my purse or deciding what gum to buy.   My energy follows my attention and I try to keep it aimed at my own heart and discernment because doing so, changes the nature of my shakti field to be less pokey of other folks stuff and I get to have a more peaceful life.

   I do not want to appear shifty, guilty or mistrustful by not looking people in the eyes.  I am perfectly willing to appear busy, distracted or absent minded to not be zapping people's karma to the surface and having them spew it at me. 

  The exception is the folks who go out of thier way to get in your face, being friendly about nothing but really seeming to want your attention.  Look them in the eye, be polite to them, listen for a moment then excuse yourself and move on.


I see it as a simple way to live joyfully and respect others.  Since I started soaking myself in virtual shakti, um, people do not seem to like me at all.
I understand that my K can trigger the karma of others in such a manner.  Or, there could be some way that I am creating it of which I am not aware....but this really doesn't feel like my stuff, and it's shocking to me when it happens.'

The more your Shakti field grows, the more you have to learn to be sort of self contained to avoid accidentally zapping people.  Let your discernment be your eyes, and only give casual interest to actual visual appearances... but be mindful of where you rest your gaze, because your energy follows. Sometimes I get rid of blockages and entities by just staring at them until they pop... Shaktipat laser beam eyes... be mindful of where you aim that thang...

  Instead of an intent to spread joy, try just being joyous within yourself and accepting of other people without projecting anything at all because all your love is going into your own heart.


    Blessings...

[edward]

I've been aware of keeping my energy inwards today, and man, it has really 
changed my day from hell to heaven.

And people are nicer too, less intense.

I've known, for a long time, that if I think about someone else, or other people generally, it
incurs karmic feedback.  Just keep the ego diciplined enough to stay in the now.

This is something that is beneficial to be aware of, so that it becomes a habit.

I remember back when I used to look people into to eyes, and Mystress said that it would
be like giving shaktipat / non-consensual shaktipat, with following karmic feedback. It toook
a while until it became my nature avoid looking people into the eyes. Now I only look at the
nose, or on the side of the head, when talking with people. Much more pleasant life!

Sometimes I forget, when ego feels bad/insecure/in fear...

The forgetful veil of perceptions of the illussion. That is beatiful itself also.

And to avoid looking at people, that's hard. Especially now when it's summer, and the people
have less clothing on, and you wanna check them out, that gives karmic feedback also!

What do I do with this horniness? Kundalini makes you very horny!



Edward

[juergen]

i think the essence of eye contact is bonding binding hypnotizing and its origin reaches far into childhood; mostly it feels as an expression of shamelessness and lack of maturity, unethical magick too: i've heard that in some primitive tribe there are women who can make a personal enemy sick to vomit, by eye contact, so that they are doomed to starve, soon.

Often it is used by actors and propagandists(news speakers, polititians, journalists), supported by certain gestures; no wonder that more and  more actors become polititians; from hitler it is known that he took extended actor-courses, but today i think this is the most natural thing for most polititians; the effect however is mixed: most often popularity is lost as quickly as it was gained, so i would call it looser magick.

At the moment i look at eye contact as a means of communication protocol, saying 'hey and bye', as a signal; the signal is enhanced by blinking the eyes shut, so that i can practically avoid all unwanted indoctrination toward people.

For those who insist on eye contact i have no other choice than to remain a forever hopeless case

juergen

[juergen]

What do I do with this horniness? Kundalini makes you very horny!

So true

What about enslaving him in the basement and let him only work for the internal evolvement?
(May be easier a bit, for the *fem folk* here, i dunno).

Another kind of horn, another kind of love

juergen

[juergen]

Jen, eye-contact can be so blissful, that in case the energy flows  such richly, there won't be any chance, anyway to sustain it for a longer period.
How would we have any clue for our mate, without such outside experiences, i think 2th worlds are complementing one another.
Then there is politeness, and then the refusal of it(the other extreme of joy, and i think, a shadow thing).
And of course eye contact in excess, joy abuse if you want so. Trying surpass the top, hi Sissiphus(not the feminized one )!
Sissiphus has become our culture, our economy, our wars; politics.

Hence i explain to myself the shadow behavior, refusal of politeness: people yelling at us, we yelling at people. Included here any lack of joy as well, of course. But sort of honest.

Now, i would agree with FST(if i interpret it right), that the first step in this political arena, is an internal move: to check our individual involvement and contribution to violence.

Our looking with liking(not just visually but with the whole 3rd eye-complex) at daily
fascism and thus creating it.

"such a day as wonderful as today, should never ought to pass" the germans sing innocently, but it contains all the tragic of my nation, if not of the whole world.

love, juergen

[juergen]

I was explaining to someone recently, that I do not do that.  I got Shaktipat lazer beams coming out my eyes and Shaktipat has to be consensual so I have learned to keep my gaze moving and avoid looking people in the eye without appearing to be avoiding looking people in the eye. "I did not trust her, she would not look me in the eye"

...just a little spoon ...

love,
j

[Mystress]

"such a day as wonderful as today, should never ought to pass" the germans sing innocently, but it contains all the tragic of my nation, if not of the whole world.

love, juergen

    There is a Zen story about a king so offered a bag of gold and a daughter to the man who could give him something that would make him feel happy when he is sad, and sad when he is happy. 
    Contest winner:  "this too, shall pass."   

    I find it has the odd effect of taking me out of the moment and deeper into it at the same time.

    Goes well with Eckhart Tolle quoting Krishamurthi about what was his secret to enlightenment:
   "I don't mind what happens."

         

  "This too, shall pass."

       Blessings...

[juergen]

    Goes well with Eckhart Tolle quoting Krishamurthi about what was his secret to enlightenment:
   "I don't mind what happens."

          Smiley

  "This too, shall pass."

Nothing compares to chatting with You, and to a few other goodies, so "I *do* mind what happens."

What is the middle path between sad and happy, between the bottom and the top? - I guess it is something like flowing, floating, being, contentment; for example sledging down a hill or down a slide, or skydiving.
I think they are related to mood, athmosphere, being in tune, Charlie Mingus(You name it ).
Also related to serene feminity, serenity; not climax, but with a sensing or guessing presence of it.
Plateau orgasms.

"I don't mind what happens", however, is chatter i haven't been free of. But recently i identify  better and faster where it originates, its context: and that's my mother, who revealed herself lying the moment she spoke it, by her emotions. So i get the comment to that "secret": "Oh yes! I dooo mind".

Let's hope that bag was not too little and the princess had good use for them(the bag and the lad).

/\~

juergen