Lack of self love

[Mystress]

   You are all, so beautiful and wise. I am really enjoying this thread.


Dave P wrote: I've have tried to look at my actions through their eyes, I saw that doing all these things was perceived as me trying to control the situation, doing service to feel in control. Resulting in them getting pissed off, making them not want to do anything.

   All the love you can ever want, awaits you through grounding.  Making the connection to Source changes everything. 

  People who are not grounded, play power games to get love and life energy that they need to live, from other people.  As you get more stabilized in being always grounded, fed from Source instead of other people,  the power games are no longer needed and you can begin to see them for what they really are. 

The left, stomach side of the secondary power chakra holds issues of martyrdom... it is a power game, not love.

  The other funny thing is, until then you spend time being grounded you probably do not realize how distinct love languages are.  For example, my hubby feels most loved when he is totally tied up so he can hardly move at all... whereas that same condition would make me berserk.

  Seems like a lot of folks who fall into martyrdom trying to buy love in exchange for services rendered, are also folks for whom "service to other" is how they express love. They get caught up in power game expectations and forget,  the expression of love is its own reward.  When fed from source, the doing feels very natural and the scorecard becomes irrelevant.

  Like Richard Bach says "If your happiness depends on what someone else does, then you do have a problem."   You have given yourself away.  Happiness, is our natural state and it does not need a reason.

  Jennifer: please do keep in mind what we went over before, about the biochemical addiction component of negative stress behaviors.  You really can get physically addicted to your own stress hormones, which motivates the mind to continue hitting the thought button that triggers the stress drug, regardless of what the stress is doing to the body.  You cannot out-think addictive behaviors, which is why most 12 step programs involve turning the problem over to a higher power, and asking for help... mercy, intervention. The therapy is powerful because it uses surrender for healing and change.

  The other useful thing, is to identify what hidden benefit you get from this behavior?  Nothing persists, unless there is some benefit. Ego is very self centered, that way...

  You are aware of yourself already, as two people: the critical one self, and the you who wrote the post, who sees the pattern and the ineffectiveness.   This is excellent, and will increase with grounding.  So, let the one that is aware, surrender the critical noise to the aspect of yourself you are not yet aware of.  Goddess within you.
   It does not matter if you cannot forgive before surrender, make the leap of faith to surrender anyway.  Goddess will give back insights to make understanding that leads naturally to acceptance and forgiveness. 

  As others said, embrace the critical voice, it is karma coming up to be released and it is finite! Wear away at it with surrender until it is worn out and has no more power over you. 

   Blessings!!

[Lexx]

All the love you can ever want, awaits you through grounding.  Making the connection to Source changes everything. 

It's astonishing, in my practice at grounding i have come to face everything inside myself that would want to deny this. Yet to be reminded of this most basic wisdom puts party hats on my demons and makes me giggle. You are beautiful and wise!