Toxic lineage, gender issues and witchcraft.

[Jennifer]

Dear Mystress,
Wow.  I am blown away by what is happening.  As soon as I took your words into myself, began to see how I was self-victimizing, projecting and demonizing my mother, everything changed immediately.  My mother suddenly dropped her latest lawsuit that was to come to trial in October.  I received news of a bunch of money coming to me tomorrow, unexpectedly.  And my husband started acting completely different and stopped talking about divorce.  This is powerful stuff.  It didn't feel good to hear the truth, but what a blessing it was and now my whole being is shifting.  Thank you so much for your patience to guide me out of this pit.  And thank you, goddess.  I just have one question now.  I didn't realize it was part of my role as an awakened person to process the karma & stuff of others.  I will gladly do that service.  Are there any techniques that I can use to assist this?  My understanding of surrender is that you cant surrender what is not yours, does that apply here? 
Thank you also for telling me that victim mentality is an addiction.  I will stay vigilant about it in the future...but I still have a lot of work to do on it right now also!  It will be interesting to see what happens.
namaste,
Jennifer

[Eileen]

"You rejected the idea that every victim is also an abuser."

- Still, this is a rather special statement. Most of your teachings are in accordance with what I already knew. Or they are natural consequences derived from that. Or they immediately resonate at true. But this doesn't. Why?

This entire thread is full of so many powerful lessons!  I am so grateful for it.  When I have time I want to continue with the matriarch/patriarch stuff on another thread because I have so many layers yet to address, and this discussion has taken it way beyond the lesson itself.  I certainly will be spending plenty of time looking at the way I've projected certain things onto the various women in my life, including my mother.  Jennifer, you are not the only one who's got to look at these things...I need it too!  Wonderful this discussion is happening!

Anyway, Vyana:  I sooooooo see myself in your responses!  Although I've changed quite a bit and understand the perspective from a bit of a different angle now.  Trust me though, there are lots of layers and we really do have to keep at it!

What I thought to offer though is this.  Maybe try these things on and see if they are helpful for you.  If not, then try a different route.  As my mind used to be almost entirely linear, it's easy to see how difficult understanding some concepts can be. 

When we are under the care of a teacher and they give us a bit of information that is really really tough to understand, it can be helpful to just put it into a place in our mind and hold it respectfully, and say to ourselves:  "Wow, I have no idea how this could be true, or apply to me, but I'm just going to trust that it is possible and I'm going to keep moving forward as if I believe it's true, until I see how it applies."  You speak of accessing the subconscious mind.  Well, this is a great way to do it.  This is why I suggest saying things out loud.  That adds emphasis and sort of prompts our subconscious to get to work on it.  The listening makes way for the answers to drop in at the correct time.  That act in itself is huge surrender.  Making room for things to be possible - even if we don't see how....is surrender.

And something else that helped me to understand the concept of "we create our reality":  When the concept of taking responsible for my creations appeared I fought it with a vengance.  I certainly didn't want to feel guilty for all the stuff I've created, and I didn't want to be responsible for causing people to dislike or hurt me, etc. - or to admit that I was the abuser!   What helped me to see how I create my reality (literally) was to start doing it deliberately.  First I did the above (make room for it to be possible) which is surrender it, and then I started to notice my thoughts, cultivate that relationship with my subconscious mind, and deliberately think about the things that I wanted in my life.  At first it is a lot of work to keep an eye on our thoughts.  It's amazing to see what our mind is doing if we're just letting it run!  yikes!  But in a short time, life started to change dramatically!  I began to literally see the results of my deliberate creations.  It was through that that I learned the powerful lesson of how we do very much create our reality.  In fact, it kind of freaked me out how very literally we do.  It's been very sobering, and also very rewarding.  Just like Jennifer did as she mentioned in her post above.  She just did the same thing!  And life changed quickly!  Taking responsiblility isn't all bad...in fact, it's freedom!

Because of this whole matriarchy/patriarchy thing and maybe because I have always had so much masculine energy about myself all my life, I have tended toward the square, linear thinking.  Intelectualizing everything.  I've changed a lot of it, because sometimes you just need to soften up and trust.  But it does help at times when it comes to working with certain things.  My goal is to balance the linear with the curvy so to speak.  But, for me at least, learning to understand things has meant (in many cases) that I have to sort of swing around and use that intellectual approach, like you are doing.  But as with most everything in the universe, it still requires an element of the curvy, feminine...which is to just trust that it's possible.  Because, really, anything is possible.

Also, there is a technique out there that is very powerful and fun, called PSYCH-K, that makes quick, easy work of re-programming the subconscious mind.  You can take a workshop and learn it, or just see a practitioner.  Uses some NLP but is a technique of its own.  I learned it and use it in my practice, and it's truly a god-send!  Ultimately, no matter what techniques we use for personal improvement, we still have to take full responsibility and do lots and lots of 'manual labor' when it comes to growth.  We still have to eat our monsters. 

And on that note I'm reminded that I want to also continue in a thread some more about keeping our energy clean.  Mystress, you've brought this up repeatedly and I feel I need lots of work on this.  I see my intellectual mind hindering this one a bit.  Always the need for new thread!

Who was it that mentioned the 'chop wood, carry water?' 
Well, back to it!
Blessings!
eileen

[Mystress]

  Vyana wrote:

- Still, this is a rather special statement. Most of your teachings are in accordance with what I already knew. Or they are natural consequences derived from that. Or they immediately resonate at true. But this doesn't. Why?

  Denial. Aggressive denial.   Never met a poor me-interrogator-intimidator before! 

  You are an intellectual bully, and you take a whack at me every time this topic comes up.  How many many posts have there been over the years, your excuses and defenses and intellectual arguments, projections, trying to get me to change my mind about what I know to be true?

  Way too many.   I'm really tired of it, stopped responding, waste of breath and energy.  With this one, you are really trying to humiliate me with your examples and make my teachings appear foolish.  It is insulting.  You think you are not aggressive?
   HAHAHAHAAAAAHOOOH hee hee

  Why do you think I did not want to get into this with you again?  I've explained it to you a hundred times and you don't get it because you don't want to get it.  I can barely even read your response, the energy of it all defensive projections, excuses, justifications is like being slapped in the face repeatedly.

    Last time I asked the students to support you by giving you feedback on the energy of your posts, and you bullied them too! Browbeat them with your defensiveness.  You tried to bully Eileen in this thread, but she placated your barbs with humility... took responsibility, and did the spiritual equivalent of backing away with her hands in the air.   You had a counsellor who tried to help you, you browbeat her into silence with these same arguments.

  So, you are good at that. Bravo... personally, being good at a nasty power game is not something to take pride in... and you are proud of it. Especially proud of out-talking the counsellor.   

  Argue for your limitations, you can keep them!  Fill yer boots!  I am instituting a new Tea room rule, and you are the reason for it: "No victims."

  Ya know, I don't give a damn what the "real world" thinks about my statement. I don't apply it there, I apply it to myself and my students. It is meant to be applied internally for the purposes of growth, not projected except for the dynamic of teaching about it. Applying it externally is bullying.

   In the "real world" I'm suing an insurance company for my car accident because being rear ended was not my fault, and that is how the legal rules work. In the spiritual, I completely accept that the accident was my own creation, and it and the lawsuit are a gift of Goddess to support me in re-habilitating a body damaged by too much computer.  It is all perfection. Goddess provides.  

   I thought Jennifer was going to be difficult, but she surprised and delighted me. She applied the stuff, took the leap of faith and reaped the rewards.  Yet here you are, years later still arguing with me instead.  Grow the fuck up!!  Victimhood is spiritual immaturity, it is childish and this course is not for babies.


    Waaaahhh mommy the bad boys hurt me, they are mean and damaged.

    No Johnny, the other boys are mean to you because you use your big brain to humiliate people and make them feel like idiots and that is not nice.  They are mean because like most intelligent geeks you haven't good social skills, you do not play well with others.  They are mean because you place yourself on a pedestal of moral and intellectual superiority and standing on other people's heads to feel better about yourself is not nice.  They are mean because one way to detect a passive aggressive person is how they make you angry...  most people are not skilled enough to figure out why this "nice" person inspires anger and loathing in them. They only know their feelings, and they will act on their feelings even if they have to invent a reason why. 

   Your experience of being bullied is completely self created. You even make me want to beat on you, ... and not in a fun, SM kind of way.   

   Hey shall we take a poll? How many people felt Vyana was trying to make me look foolish to feel better about himself?

  No, lets go farther back... how many would be afraid to respond to such a poll for fear Vyana will make you the next target of his defensive humiliation game of intellectual bullying? 

  Now sit back and watch the show. How much poor me aggressive defensiveness do I get from you this time?  Boring, predictable, sad.

  Yeah, I sometimes wonder why you are still here, too. 

  PS: hey, I re-read both posts and found some more to rant about!


Bullying research says that 5 % kill themselves, 5 % kill their perpetrators or other people and the rest are normally wounded for life.

  Your statement makes me laugh. What others may do to them cannot possibly be as bad as what they do to themselves eh?  and others, if they go Columbine and start shooting?  Still think victims  are gentle people? LOL!! 

   I think I was 5 years old, really angry at my mom, I had a thought to kill myself, then she would be sorry!!!  It lasted a millisecond before the sheer stupidity of the idea snapped me out of it.


   

[Mystress]

Jennifer wrote:  Also, I wasn't aware of what the different rooms on this board are for, I should have read the instructions.  Next time I will post in the proper place. Thank you.

  No where do I explain it. Left it as a little esp test, LOL. Was curious what people would do with the various rooms without direction.

    The temple is for surrender and spiritual offerings of poetry or inspirational prose, sharing, like Edwards last post. The tea room is more for general discussion, argument and wrangles.  The tech room is for tech questions like why some vids don't work, and test posts.  The time room is for the archives.

   PS: to people who are having trouble with the quote feature.  I've been modifying posts that show up hard to read.  Rather than using the quote button, it is easier to copy and paste the stuff you want to quote, then select it to change the colour and type in the authors name by hand. The preview button is to look at your message format before posting and tweak it. Remember to identify my quotes with italics.

[Mystress]

Jennifer wrote:   I just have one question now.  I didn't realize it was part of my role as an awakened person to process the karma & stuff of others.  I will gladly do that service.  Are there any techniques that I can use to assist this?  My understanding of surrender is that you cant surrender what is not yours, does that apply here?  

I mention it when it comes up, not too often because I discourage hero trips.  It is not part of the role... is there a role? Nobody told me, heh.  More like, a common Kundalini phenomena that it is useful to know how to deal with, and to know not take it personally.  Strangers approaching you for some flimsy reason, just wanting your attention,  or a waitress deciding to tell you her problems while pouring your coffee.  It happens, people give you their stuff, with words or actions, and the stuff is not yours to keep, but to surrender.  It is something people do, like we say, "A burden shared is a burden lightened."  

 No, you cannot surrender what is not yours, but when people give you stuff for delivery, it is different.  Everybody gets a little of that Boddhisattva gig.  Don't go looking for it, unless you want to be attracting a lot of troubled people into your life.  Don't take it personally (like, I must be looking extra pretty today to get this attention.)  but don't get self conscious and turn into a hermit, either.   They usually won't know why they are approaching you, their DB will shape their perceptions and give their ego  some bullshit excuse why it is ok... but, Namaste, Goddess does it.  

 When it happens, just be polite.  Give the person a few seconds or moments of your attention, Goddess does the rest.  Goddess looks out through your eyes whether you feel Her or not...  Energy follows attention, and that is what they want, and a few seconds or a moment is often enough.  

   Surrender whatever you feel incoming from them, if anything... for me it is usually seamless, because I know not to take it personally. I don't let ego take credit, responsibility belongs to Goddess.

  Blessings.  
 

[Vyana]

Well, thank you for those insights. My intention was definitely not the one you read into it, at least not consiously, but only to surrender some of the obstacles that come up when I try to integrate your belief into my belief system. I will try to integrate what you wrote here, but I will seek other ways to deal with this issue in the future.

[Jennifer]

Vyana,
Speaking from personal experience this stuff is really hard to hear and take in.  I fought it too.  But, it is 100% true.  And when I took it in, I felt really bad and guilty about what I had done to myself and others.  The only way to absorb this information is to make a leap of faith. JUST DO IT!!!!  You will be amazed at the results.  And once you've made that leap, forgive yourself for what you've done.  Just know that for whatever reason, you didn't know any better than to do what you did.  Now you know better, so there's really no excuse any more....have courage!
namaste,
Jen

[Mystress]

Well, thank you for those insights. My intention was definitely not the one you read into it, at least not consiously, but only to surrender some of the obstacles that come up when I try to integrate your belief into my belief system. I will try to integrate what you wrote here, but I will seek other ways to deal with this issue in the future.

  Make me wrong, then go aloof. Watch your patterns!

[Eileen]

May I drastically simplify?

I've spent time with the various aspects of this entire thread because, not only can I recognize the many reflections of my self, but they've been rather loudly amplified in my external as well.  Life has been like that lately:  The fragments of me that need integrated have been showing up as extremes in my world.  In clients, in passers by, in everything.  Stuff sticks out because it's exihibiting in the extreme (for me personally).  It's as if I've been on this treasure hunt (which was a GREAT analogy given in previous posts of a differnt thread) and as I'm getting closer to the goal, the clues are literally jumping up all around, begging to be noticed.  Very kewl.

So, why is it that (I) feel the need to make a difference in anything? 
Why the need to change the way someone sees or does or IS something?
Why get irritated at stuff?  Especially what others do or how they behave or think?
Why the need to feel like i know stuff?  Or have the right answers?  Or argue?  Or defend?

What's up with all that?

So I asked.  And listened. 

Acceptance.  Period.  And damn if that's not a power chakra issue.  Which would explain why I had years of digestive issues and pain.  Which I learned to get a handle on by improving elimination - on all levels.  But elimination (flow) is only part of the cure. 

The cure is acceptance.  Total acceptance. 

Of me.  You.  All.  Everything.

Transactional Analysis puts it this way:  "I'm okay, You're okay."

All is okay.  There's no problem.  None. 

It's not even about release.  Except for release of the need to control.

I've learned over recent months that EVERYTHING in the Universe happens EFFORTLESSLY.  Birth, death, creation, destruction....and everything stays in constant motion.  Effortlessly.  Therefore life is, by design, effortless, and requires nothing of us except that we flow with it.  And enjoy.

And so one could say that all we have to do then, is to dream life.  Not control it.  Just, simply, happily....dream it.

It's the out-breath.

Everything is hidden in plain sight.
Simple.
Blessings!
Eileen

[Mystress]

Eileen wrote:  When I have time I want to continue with the matriarch/patriarch stuff on another thread because I have so many layers yet to address, and this discussion has taken it way beyond the lesson itself.

 You can understand why I wouldn't put it into the very first lesson... too much information.

[Mystress]

Eileen wrote:  Acceptance.  Period.  And damn if that's not a power chakra issue.  Which would explain why I had years of digestive issues and pain.  Which I learned to get a handle on by improving elimination - on all levels.  But elimination (flow) is only part of the cure. 

The cure is acceptance.  Total acceptance. 

Of me.  You.  All.  Everything.


  Yup!  You pegged it.  It is all about love and acceptance, and the shadow stuff is all about what has been rejected in the past.  That is why looking at guilty feelings is so valuable and important. 

  Guilt is all about ego: "I'm not the sort of person who would do something like that!!" 

   Well ya did, so ya are. Accept it!!  Then you know yourself better and can be mindful about whether the behavior repeats itself.  It cannot sneak out shadow side because it has been brought into the light and integrated... at least, until the next layer comes along!   
The next opportunity to love and accept another shadow fragment into integration.

  I AM everything I said about other people in this thread. I AM Hitler and Gandhi and Ghengis Khan and... George Bush!! LOL!!  Have I done the things they have done? Well, in small ways, probably yeah.  There are only so many power games, we all play them.  The differences are mostly a matter of degree or size, intensity.  How do you measure that, in non-duality?

  For example, likely nobody here killed millions of Jews, but our western lifestyle is built on cheap consumer goods produced by sweatshop labour in unsafe conditions.  We drive cars that are destroying ecosystems and species, as well as causing illness in millions.  So when an Asian woman dies of lead poisoning from soldering electronic circuit boards or lung cancer from inhaling polyester fluff while sewing a sweatshirt, we all are culpable on some level, we are all her murderers.

   Acceptance, motivates change and denial accomplishes nothing.

    Good intentions. Canada is a trading partner with China; the attitude is, support their business so they have the resources to improve their condition... but will they improve? 

   Thing is, simplification or not, doesn't really matter.  People get it when they want to get it, and if they do not want, they can be remarkably obtuse.  Lead a horse to water... and one thing healers learn, there is a huge difference between someone who wants to be healed, and someone who just wants use their problem  to get attention.  Sometimes people really cling to problems if the are using them to get sympathy, or feel superior... or inferior!, if that is their kink.   

   I accept that people do that, and they are Gods of their own lives and can do what they want... but I prefer watching people grow.  I'm also clear that whether people grow or not, is not up to me.  It is between them and Goddess.

   

[Vyana]

On Friday August 24d I started using the affirmation “I know how I cased the bullying and I have stopped doing it.”

On Saturday 25th I had an intense therapeutic session where my therapist told me I kind of reached the bottom of my energy system and then received a gift from the highest being. The same day I noticed myself being kind of upset and worrying for a lot of things to go wrong, in a way that is not normal for me. This continued for a day or two. Then I woke up in the middle of the night, from a vision where I perceived a ball of light and strong fear somewhere in my heart or power chakra region. I perceived how this “ball of fear” radiated light in all directions and how this light created my world.

After that, I have now and then got insights or visions or upcoming emotions regarding how the often very subtle nuances in my thinking create and modify my reality. E.g. on Saturday December 1st I participated in a yogic weekend, where the teacher worked directly on the students’ energy systems. I perceived this very clearly. During the lunch this first day, I had a very subtle and difficult to describe vision of how the subtle nuances in my thinking affected my reality. Later, I have had similar visions, even more subtle and difficult to explain.

On December 17th I had a very intense therapeutic session related to the power chakra. A lot of material was released, and my therapist reported that the power chakra opened up in a great vortex of bringht light reaching far up into the sky. Since then I have felt my energy kind of reaching out and occupying the space around me (the eggshape of the aura), which makes me feel more comfortable and kind of “dressed”.

Now, here are a lot of peaces falling together.

You wrote somewhere that all children are energy vampires. When I was first bullied at the age of six I was starting school with an open and receptive mind. I was passively observing, waiting for what to come. In a different atmosphere I might have flourished, but instead I became passive. I got kind of blocked in a sad, passive mode. (The other kids didn’t dislike me; they just didn’t respect my boundaries.) And this has followed me through my whole life. If I am an energy vampire, I am a passive childlike one. It seems I was somehow, deep inside, partly stuck in that mode.

I have noticed this tendency to passivity in so many ways. I envy people who can walk into a room with a smile and start talking with a lot of energy. Sometimes I can do that if I really set my mind on it, but often I have problems even getting the energy to initiate a conversation, if I am not already inspired from something. On the other hand, when a conversation has started, I can be active enough, although I easily get bored and lose energy. I hesitate from taking new contacts with people I like, expecting others to take the initiative instead. When I am lecturing, I am using the first minutes to kind of establish contact with the audience to get more energy (actually I have been taught to do so on courses). Sometimes, when I am lecturing (although not often), especially when I am in front of a big audience with more than 100 people, I kind of loose all interest and energy and just whish I was somewhere else doing something else instead.

From the above it follows that my main pattern is aloof. When I expose other patterns, it’s only a symptom of my struggle to break this pattern, in an attempt to copy other people’s patterns. If I turned out to be persuasive and was therefore perceived as something else when trying to surrender my main objections to the idea that the victim is the perpetrator, thank you very much! Being persuasive is a very weak point of mine. I am working in a work-place where most successful people are actually politicians â€" experts not on their jobs but on turning black into white and the other way round â€" and I have for many years been a helpless prey to their lies and campaigns. Doing things just to make a good impression on others simply does not feel right and honest to me. I have been occupied with doing a good job instead. This has destroyed my career. However, I wrote that post after a period of intense throat chakra cleansing; normally I am not that persuasive.

The chakra photography made last summer illustrated my basic passivity very well. It showed a lot of bright yellow light at the level of my head (the yellow aura colour symbolized creativity, but was also used for the crown chakra), but there was a dark area between this light and the rest of my body. I was told I had a lot of ideas in my head, which could be turned into reality, but wasn’t yet.

These last years with strong energy activity in my body, I have had energy working from the centre of my upper chest and down my shoulders and arms to my hands (and then also up my head). The arms are often said to be related to taking action in life. Therefore, I believe these energy movements are also related to the passivity-thing.

Today I am continuing to do a lot of power chakra sadhana (nauli (stomach muscle rotation), which I believe is very effective for the power chakra, the boat, the camel and 31 minutes kritan kriya). I feel as if the power chakra is opening up and feeding especially my aura with energy (I feel this most clearly when practicing kritan kriya). I am also working on deciding how to take action more actively in different areas of my life. Maybe I will engage a coach for this (which is also part of my own not yet completed NLP coach education).

[Mystress]

  Well, you are certainly due for a breakthrough. 

Vyana wrote:
When I am lecturing, I am using the first minutes to kind of establish contact with the audience to get more energy (actually I have been taught to do so on courses). Sometimes, when I am lecturing (although not often), especially when I am in front of a big audience with more than 100 people, I kind of loose all interest and energy and just whish I was somewhere else doing something else instead.


  Some do teach that, and it doesn't really work.  It sets the audience against you.  You have to feed the audience before you can feed *on* the audience.  Give them something, then they give back and rapport is set. Tina Turner does this wonderfully, BTW.  She used to be a victim, too...

  As an actor I was taught to expand my energy to fill the theatre, it brings the audience in to an intimate space and makes the performer appear very charismatic! Theatre is a consensual space, actors are taught to project energy in a way that doesn't work so well in other situations.

  When teaching workshops is about the only time I really turn my energy outward, show up sparkly.

    I want you to scry through time to the opening of the Sweden workshop.  Am I taking or giving energy? Projecting, or just making energy available to people to take some? To accept or decline? 

Blessings...
   

[juergen]

There's a certain vicious circle.
Imagine a carp pond, carps are being fed and are happy.
But scarcity comes up, food supply shortens.
Battling sets in, and crying: crying  at one another,  crying for food( and games).
Effects are null, which "proves", that crys are too low, and battlings amateurish, too "girlish".
Science sets in, then language becomes raped, Hell, originally Goddess-Fire, becomes "hell", for this new reality.

Now, this "entertainment" attracts a lot of more people, whoops i mean carps, so this new hell gets heated up more and more. Nlp contra bare fist, Once Upon a Time in the West: Morton vs. Frank. ...Nlp contra Nlp, giants of weakness fighting about doggy bags.
Just carps.
Yesterday i called Mystress Alexandra the Great, in my mind; for always seeming to act on the allowed limit of c in relative universe.
Alexander and the Gordian Knot, is somewhat liberating, instancing a presence of his own.
Not battling about being entitled to careers, or weeping after my ice cream has fallen in the sand, but taking the perspective of the pond owner. Kill the other kid who battered that ice cream out of my hand: Within myself ..and become adult; kill the careerist who stole my job and other resources: Within myself!
And watch there faces with a grim grin when they run out of "gas".

Sometimes we can get the blues, but then it's good to know, that we love this world after all:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yE7NtFgfYsE&feature=related

[Jackman]

A really great post. Had me to look on a lot of projections I have been sending outwards and have denied or dismissed before... I will try to grab to those before they can leave my head and turn them to me.

Namaste,
Jaakko

[juergen]

Jaakko:

Had me to look on a lot of projections I have been sending outwards and have denied or dismissed before... I will try to grab to those before they can leave my head and turn them to me.

Hi Jaakko, and btw: welcome!!!!

How do you speak Jaakko? My guess 'd be: beginning slowly and toward the end with a "tug"?

Yeah i think, awareness of the projections can lead us to an underlying childish mindset, that maintains them. As long as the mindset remains uncleared the projections are the sanest expression of life, in accordance with basic logic, so it seems a good idea, not to judge oneself for being an "ass". 
Thanx for the comment, and great that Ye found the hub!

here a little serenade

[Jackman]

Thanks Juergen! 

Another issue came to me after thinking about this issue. How about helping? I think I understand that it is a projection to think that someone needs help. But somehow I do get this impulse to help someone e.g. by opening a door for them if they are carrying something heavy or something alike. They do not *need* it, but is there room for *common sense*? Or is this all just big bullshit from my ego to hide itself from me?

I recognise that one of my roles is to be the helper although nowadays I do try to make it point that I offer only help if someone asks for it. But sometimes it just feels right to help even though no words are said between people offering permission/request to help. Also sometimes it just feels hearbreaking to watch your loved one suffer and not to do anything...

Blessings,
Jaakko

[juergen]

Heehee, ok, some more toxic lineage stuff.......

When i make a sentence like: "The Moon is my Guide", then i use a separatistic formula, because today's languages were partly created from a pested mindset, and have at best only one leg in Paradise.
I can make a better attempt by saying: "I'm guided because i'm so much in love with the Moon-Chick that we are as good as One".
Whatsoever, the other pested leg designates resistance and separation:

The serpent who resists against sloughing her skin must be totally at odds with the world, and that's what we usually are. Under that mindset we wage an imagined war against the rest of the world and will likely fantasize about 'Highlander'-stuff('only one will be in the end', 'the chosen one','la singla' etc.)
-->the idea of monopolism, the protestant(called: "american")dream, which goes toward insanity with the conception of what amounts to: "each person a monopolist".

Still we live in a set of parallel worlds: The planet of the apes(resistance, monopolisms, ego) on one side and paradise on the other.
All things have an existance in either world just depending on how we look at them. Take for instance 'La Singla': ain't there a paradise version of Her as well?
The same holds true for 'Help':

On the apes planet, 'help' is a one sided relation, for instance by marching an army in a distant country to help them(becoming mined); the good intention thing, as an excuse for waging the war that has to be, locically(after the decision for resistance is made, which equals declaring war to all reality, to all life).
There has to be an excuse because of the other, the parallel world, The Paradise, where we have the other leg in.
In Paradise, there are other expressions, like: "This is helpful" etc., which describes win/win situations where growth has its good soil. This designs the other version of help, 'empowering help'. The psychological pattern is: "how wonderful it would we, if so and so would happen", the intent is holistic.
I think this is the kind of help you relate to.
Thing is only, that there is a further need for consense to be considered, which can be given explicitly, or may exist implicitly(without words, by tradition, by unwritten law, or even by written law, etc).
'Implicit' is also a case for discernment(and stumbling), missteps are unavoidable. But it's no use, we have to explore here, we cannot be as strict as saying: "No words --> no help". On the other hand, we also cannot mutate to help stalkers. As discernment grows we will be of more use and of more help, but the basis is of course, clearing the separation: that mindset which is at odds with everything.
No matter what others then will put forward against us, we should not judge ourselves for seeking to become clear(although being clear can be a handicap as regards mundane justice; judges-folk, they are (by definition)organized "resistors", smiles).

Between resistance and Goddess's boot-kicks we get into conflicts(Also sometimes it just feels hearbreaking to watch your loved one suffer and not to do anything...); we have free will, but finally no choice.

Onwards!
juergen

[Mystress]

But somehow I do get this impulse to help someone e.g. by opening a door for them if they are carrying something heavy or something alike. They do not *need* it, but is there room for *common sense*? Or is this all just big bullshit from my ego to hide itself from me?

Genuine compassion is spontaneous, random acts of kindness are perfectly OK!

[juergen]

Genuine compassion is spontaneous, random acts of kindness are perfectly OK!

Heehee, spontaneous kindness, thoughtless kindness, fast kindness,  -->much kindness!
Cup's running...
(thoughtless posts, LOL)

juergen