Knowing when you've found the right one.

Pete · Jun 06, 2007, 07:34:59 PM

I've been doing the Divine Beloved lesson recently and have had some interesting things start to happen. My body seems like it's starting to interact with me more in very concrete ways and this in itself is a beautiful gift. Also, I met a beautiful woman about 2 and half months ago. She has all of the qualities that I prayed for in a mate when I was younger. I think I've found the right one...a lot of fear and doubt has been present about this though. After consulting w/ my father, I posed the question as to whether I should marry this girl to my heart. It answered me very clearly for the first time since working on the heart chakra lesson... Almost jumping out of my chest, a feeling of warmth began to spread through my body from my heart and the knot of fear and doubt began to disperse with it. I think that this is a yes to the question. There is still some fear that I don't seem to want to let go of just yet, so I'm dumping it here in hopes that I can truly let it go. I'm just wondering if anyone has had any similar experiences or if I'm jumping to a conclusion that I shouldn't be or if I'm standing in my own way on this one or what. Has anyone else gained new relationships while studying FST?

regards,
Pete

Vyana · Jun 06, 2007, 10:11:27 PM

No new relationship %ndash I suppose my wife wouldn%rsquot like that %ndash but something has happened with my interaction with women in general. They seem to be more attracted to me, more comfortable in my presence and more bubbling of laughter, joy and inspiration around me than ever. And when it comes to women who also have a strong awareness of their hearts, when we look at each other it is sometimes as if we shared a very precious secret. I also recognize what you write about a warm feeling in the heart radiating to other parts of the body (especially arms & hands, throat and solar plexus). My heart does not speak to me in words, or as Mystress told me, I am so used to hearing it that I cannot distinct it from other mental activity. It doesn%rsquot response to most questions. It is as if it didn%rsquot think they are important enough. But when it comes to important issues, such as spiritual truths, the reaction of warmth, joy and bliss in my heart is very strong and almost overwhelming. It is not easy to tell for another, but if I had that reaction when asking if I should marry a girl, I would now she was the right one.

edward · Jun 07, 2007, 01:58:07 AM

Pete,

If your Heart says yes - follow you heart!

Edward

Eileen · Jun 07, 2007, 06:19:06 AM

:I think I've found the right one...a lot of fear and doubt has been present about this though. I'm just wondering.....if I'm jumping to a conclusion that I shouldn't be or if I'm standing in my own way on this one or what.

Pete, I'm not sure any of us are capable of ALWAYS making so called "RIGHT" decisions throughout life.

Would it be okay to consider cultivating trust with your heart-voice, AND cultivating trust in your capacity to respond to life as it presents itself, rather than worry about the "what if's"? It's perfectly okay to make a decision, stick with it, and then flex if circumstances change...without feeling guilty or shameful.

There's the saying, "It's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all." Who says you would lose anyway? Yet, there is some risk, in any relationship, be it romantic or business....

Learning to love one's self even though we have made and will continue to 'make mistakes' is so helpful, because it creates tolerance for others when they make mistakes. This is certainly going to be helpful in a marriage! Cultivating a loving and tolerant relationship with the self is the most resourceful way to enjoy tolerance in relationships with others. It's been an ongoing lesson for me certainly...and a fruitful one.

It's okay to be you.
Blessings!
eileen

Mystress · Jun 11, 2007, 11:27:30 AM

It happens, sometimes when you really commit to the inner sacred marriage, your Divine Beloved will bring an external partner to you... and these sorts of "arranged marriages" can be the very best, because so long as you keep putting the inner spouse first, you don't get lost in the projection game.<p> I suspect that is where a lot of the fear is coming from- that you will attach to the external woman and lose your inner Self.

It is a delicate dance, to be married and committed yet remaining detached and in the moment... but, so long as you really do serve Goddess within yourself and have none before... Goddess sorts out the rest of it.

Do a meditation on this theme, talk to your DB, ask the first wife, permission to marry the second. Give thanks..

Blessings...

Pete · Jun 12, 2007, 07:28:38 PM

That's absolutely amazing! As if I didn't trust my heart or your guys' answers, I asked consulted the I-Ching about the situation as well 2 days ago. There was one part of the answer that I did not understand. It was from the 54th Hexagram "Kuei Mei / The Marrying Maiden". The Wilhelm/Baynes translation says that "A girl who is taken into the family, but not as the chief wife, must behave with special caution and reserve. She must not take it upon herself to supplant the mistress of the house, for that would mean disorder and lead to untenable relationships...For the union of heaven and earth is the origin of the whole of nature. Among human beings likewise, spontaneous affection is the all-inclusive principle of union." I did not understand this at all until I read your answer today. I did the meditation immediately and got a definite resolution from my DB. Absolutely amazing to me! Shortly thereafter, my girlfriend and I ate dinner together and she told me that she would not get in the way of my spiritual practice. It's amazing how quickly that spiritual interactions can manifest in the physical realm. Thank you very much Mystress and others. You were spot on. I know what I must do...and I will trust my heart more from now on and make my relationship w/ my DB the primary relationship. I didn't not realize just how important this is. Love and warm heart!

Pete

Mystress · Jun 14, 2007, 12:32:05 AM

In the old stories, people come up to the wandering holy man and lay rubies at his feet... The more you surrender, and devote yourself to Goddess has it handled,... the more it will seem that life itself, lays rubies, at your feet.
Happy for you, Pete! Blessings...

Vyana · Jun 24, 2007, 01:26:42 PM

Last night I had a funny dream on the theme of "two women in your life". For some reason me and my wife visited a woman in her flat. My wife and that woman were fore some reason discussing the cleaning of the flat. I think she was showing my wife how difficult it had been to get her apartment clean when she moved in, and my wife showed her some spot she had missed. At least that was how I perceived the situation. Afterwards, there was some kind of alarm and all people had to leave the city. For some reason I stayed while my family went away with train etc. I believe I was supposed to come after in the car. But the streets were blocked and it was impossible to get any where with the car. I think I was at some kind of party or gathering. And there I met this woman again. For some reason I accompanied her to her apartment and there we made love, which was a very nice experience. Afterwards, it seems my wife didn't react as strongly as could be expected. There was some information that we had been together all three earlier and that we could be supposed to be again.