Crazy world, crazy people?

[edward]

Fellow students and magical Mystress,

I live with the belief that nothing is true, even the belief that nothing is true is also not true. I came to that conclusion when I was around 10 years old. It's like an infinite surrendering motto I think.

Anyway, I think that everything is an illusion, just a fantasy, only a dream.

To make it simple, I think that everything is happening in my head. This is not real, this computer do not exist, you people responding, etc., are just projections from my divine Goddess mind...You know what I mean...

Anyway, right now I am having the fantasy of being embodied in a physical manifestation.

So I have a pretty practical question. I am currently studying on my own (besides working full-time) to get enough credits for admittance into the psychologist-program at university. While I'm reading and studying I get all....not powerless...but more I don't know, I just get so fucking irritated about how bad medicine/psychiatry/science have treated humans (and aninmals) and still are doing.

Now, I do think that I create my own reality. And the more I delve into human history and the current situation, I find that everything still is quite fucked up as ever before.

My question is, am I creating this fucked up reality?

And the most important question: When I continue to study, do I create more of this? Do I make the fucked up things more real on cost of the usually OK world I live in, when I read and think about these bad things?

Mystress has once said (I have written it up on a yellow post-it-note hanging on my toilet door): "What you focus on will grow. And attaching to negative world view is not a good thing with Kundalini"

I try not to get attached to what I read and stumble across. When I think %ldquoboy, what a crazy world%rdquo I just surrender everything.

I need some advice and insights here people...

And how do I find perfection in this?

I avoid watching TV and don't read the news..but sometimes I just  stumble into some pictures showing people/animals treated badly. Usually I get overly empathic, and get sad. Then I comfort myself by saying that this is not real.

Is that the right way of doing it?

By the way, I%rsquom currently at the chakra lesson.

[juergen]

Hi Ed,

i think the trick is, to get a very clear picture of crazy situations or people and then let go, direct attention to areas where you can achieve something, for example practising or studiying FST-stuff, or what else you have to accomplish, even studiying psychology(although it may become confusing, i have decided to put it behind, first seeking more wisdom; because without wisdom i don't think, the whole scholarly stuff can be appropriately approached - and it really isn't, by scholars).

For example i have done so with soccer transmissions; trying to calmly watch; watch the speaker and watch myself, the insane magick, that he's trying to sell, and how i'm influenced, learn about my weak points.
I'm not focused on it, because i can easily withdraw, it has much less power over me; during the world championship i peeped into some games a bit, and found there can really be much learned around the whole trarara. In that course i got much less affected by the tension they build up, raising the pulse as if it was sssooo important, especially the last minutes of a game. In a way i admire their physical constitution, maybe they're ascended masters(or dumb stones; or evil magicians).

There was a time, for a couple of years, without tv, and still sometimes i consider to abolish it again, but it's an important source of information, how sad and stupid it may appear; at least its valuable to notice Howcrazy the world is, and what do people estimate as crazy and what cool.

Play on!

juergen.

:
: Fellow students and magical Mystress,

:
: I live with the belief that nothing is true, even the belief that nothing is true is also not true. I came to that conclusion when I was around 10 years old. It's like an infinite surrendering motto I think.

: Anyway, I think that everything is an illusion, just a fantasy, only a dream.

: To make it simple, I think that everything is happening in my head. This is not real, this computer do not exist, you people responding, etc., are just projections from my divine Goddess mind...You know what I mean...

: Anyway, right now I am having the fantasy of being embodied in a physical manifestation.

: So I have a pretty practical question. I am currently studying on my own (besides working full-time) to get enough credits for admittance into the psychologist-program at university. While I'm reading and studying I get all....not powerless...but more I don't know, I just get so fucking irritated about how bad medicine/psychiatry/science have treated humans (and aninmals) and still are doing.

: Now, I do think that I create my own reality. And the more I delve into human history and the current situation, I find that everything still is quite fucked up as ever before.

: My question is, am I creating this fucked up reality?

: And the most important question: When I continue to study, do I create more of this? Do I make the fucked up things more real on cost of the usually OK world I live in, when I read and think about these bad things?

: Mystress has once said (I have written it up on a yellow post-it-note hanging on my toilet door): "What you focus on will grow. And attaching to negative world view is not a good thing with Kundalini"

: I try not to get attached to what I read and stumble across. When I think %ldquoboy, what a crazy world%rdquo I just surrender everything.

: I need some advice and insights here people...

: And how do I find perfection in this?

: I avoid watching TV and don't read the news..but sometimes I just  stumble into some pictures showing people/animals treated badly. Usually I get overly empathic, and get sad. Then I comfort myself by saying that this is not real.

: Is that the right way of doing it?

: By the way, I%rsquom currently at the chakra lesson.

[Mystress]

:
: Fellow students and magical Mystress,

:
: I live with the belief that nothing is true, even the belief that nothing is true is also not true. I came to that conclusion when I was around 10 years old. It's like an infinite surrendering motto I think.

: Anyway, I think that everything is an illusion, just a fantasy, only a dream.

: To make it simple, I think that everything is happening in my head. This is not real, this computer do not exist, you people responding, etc., are just projections from my divine Goddess mind...You know what I mean...

: Anyway, right now I am having the fantasy of being embodied in a physical manifestation.

: So I have a pretty practical question. I am currently studying on my own (besides working full-time) to get enough credits for admittance into the psychologist-program at university. While I'm reading and studying I get all....not powerless...but more I don't know, I just get so fucking irritated about how bad medicine/psychiatry/science have treated humans (and aninmals) and still are doing.

: Now, I do think that I create my own reality. And the more I delve into human history and the current situation, I find that everything still is quite fucked up as ever before.

: My question is, am I creating this fucked up reality?

The part of you that is Goddess, is creating it. You as an individual, are judging it. Not seeing perfection.

: And the most important question: When I continue to study, do I create more of this? Do I make the fucked up things more real on cost of the usually OK world I live in, when I read and think about these bad things?

Goddess' infinite universe is bigger than anything we humans can concieve in our lifetimes. Taking responsibility for what exists in the world is presumptous... you are not God of other people and they have free will too.

 Take responsibility instead, for your reactions to the part of Her world you are experiencing here and now. Your judgments and perceptions.

: Mystress has once said (I have written it up on a yellow post-it-note hanging on my toilet door): "What you focus on will grow. And attaching to negative world view is not a good thing with Kundalini"

: I try not to get attached to what I read and stumble across. When I think %ldquoboy, what a crazy world%rdquo I just surrender everything.

You are studying psychiatry, so your world view is filtered based on your judgments of sanity. When you graduate, your clients will be crazy people, your world will revolve around crazy people, sane people and how to move people from one state to the other. See, what you are focusing on, will grow... making judgements of sanity or insanity, will engage more and more of your time and attention. Will there be more crazy people in the world because of you? Fewer? That cannot be measured but obviously there will be more crazy people in your world. More in your personal day to day reality, plus more in your head because of all the people you are projecting "crazy" onto with your judgments.

 The phenomena of feeding things with your attention is not necessarily a bad thing, if your focus is in alignment with following your bliss. However you are obviously uncomfortable with the head space you are growing into, so modify it.

 The position of power is "I attract that which occurs." You are not creator so much as magnet, your focus on crazy people drawing more of them into your life. Karma attracting resonant experiences to give you an opportunity to surrender.  

: I need some advice and insights here people...

: And how do I find perfection in this?

Making judgements is inevitable: Why not judge based on a different criteria? Everything is love, or a cry for love. Love or fear. When you see something you judge as crazy, ask yourself what do the crazy people fear? What is the fear that motivates animal testing, or a human holocaust? In what ways do you share their fear? Your judgements are a reflection of who you are, after all.  
 The insights will move you to compassion instead of rejection.

 Blessings...

: I avoid watching TV and don't read the news..but sometimes I just  stumble into some pictures showing people/animals treated badly. Usually I get overly empathic, and get sad. Then I comfort myself by saying that this is not real.

: Is that the right way of doing it?

: By the way, I%rsquom currently at the chakra lesson.

[edward]

I did the heart chakra opening lesson today. When I asked if it loved me, I suddenly started crying and laughing at the same time. heh

I usually get a physical sensation instead of a voice, so I can only ask it yes/no questions. However, I've noticed a voice in between all the other "commentaries" I have going on in my head, which I suspect is the vocal manifestation of the heart voice.

Later on this day, I fell asleep nearby the computer. I dreamt I was doing different things with someone. Always beside me, whom I couldn't see. Some children fell on the street, and we helped them. The father of these children was very grateful for us helping, so he asked the one beside me if we wanted to come for a Sauna. He looked at me, and I said "It's OK for me. I'm just like a light snack that fits for any occasion". Anyway, this someone beside me was always helping me, shoulder by shoulder, when walking down the street, nearly tripping over dog poo and stuff like that.

I just woke up, and I now understand than this someone is the heart, it is like a very close friend, always beside me. Protecting and taking care.

: Goddess' infinite universe is bigger than anything we humans can concieve in our lifetimes. Taking responsibility for what exists in the world is presumptous... you are not God of other people and they have free will too.

:   Take responsibility instead, for your reactions to the part of Her world you are experiencing here and now. Your judgments and perceptions.

I think that what happens is that I get "It's all me"-idea from the higher chakras, and then I fall back into the lower chakras where I think "Have I created this?". I get confused because the chakras are not integrated with each other.

I can't go around and think "What did I do to get  this?". It's not constructive. Rather my attitude should be "Hmm...why are they doing like that?%rdquo Notice that there are several perspectives to jugde it from, and on both sides there are arguments or conclusion that can justify the situation. And then notice that the different perspectives are just like a magnified reflection of sides of my personality.

: You are studying psychiatry, so your world view is filtered based on your judgments of sanity. When you graduate, your clients will be crazy people, your world will revolve around crazy people, sane people and how to move people from one state to the other. See, what you are focusing on, will grow... making judgements of sanity or insanity, will engage more and more of your time and attention. Will there be more crazy people in the world because of you? Fewer? That cannot be measured but obviously there will be more crazy people in your world. More in your personal day to day reality, plus more in your head because of all the people you are projecting "crazy" onto with your judgments.

:   The phenomena of feeding things with your attention is not necessarily a bad thing, if your focus is in alignment with following your bliss. However you are obviously uncomfortable with the head space you are growing into, so modify it.

I've asked the heart voice what if this study is right for me right now, and it reacts very positively.

There are not any other university-subjects that interests me. I've studied economy, and that was just a waste of time. Having an OK salaried fucking boring job, I just want to do something else. An alternative to study psychology would be to retire and move to India. Running a "bed and breakfast" place for backpackers, and just chilling on the roof, smoking pot and worshipping Shakti all day while doing Fire Serpent Tantra lessons with my wireless internet laptop, when not charging blood prices from the westerners.

I will probabably end up like a nutty professor, like Wilhelm Reich...or Timothy Leary.

:   The position of power is "I attract that which occurs." You are not creator so much as magnet, your focus on crazy people drawing more of them into your life. Karma attracting resonant experiences to give you an opportunity to surrender.  

I know...I know...My father was psychotic, my mother got labeled with schizophrenia and my sister was labeled with borderline. When both of them were locked up in mental institutions I said to myself "I am going to stay away as far away I can from crazy people". And now, 14 years later I want to be psychologist.

I have stopped thinking of my family members as diagnoses. I suspect my mother was kundalini awakened, she just went wild because some entity said she was Jesus...I guess. heh

: Making judgements is inevitable: Why not judge based on a different criteria? Everything is love, or a cry for love. Love or fear. When you see something you judge as crazy, ask yourself what do the crazy people fear? What is the fear that motivates animal testing, or a human holocaust? In what ways do you share their fear? Your judgements are a reflection of who you are, after all.  
:   The insights will move you to compassion instead of rejection.

I should accept, instead of putting emotional energy into things. The acceptance will work like surrender%hellipand then compassion and understanding will come (hopefully!).

Thanks for the advice Mystress! You Holy Fountain of Divine Wisdom.

Edward

[edward]

I did the heart chakra opening lesson today. When I asked if it loved me, I suddenly started crying and laughing at the same time. heh

I usually get a physical sensation instead of a voice, so I can only ask it yes/no questions. However, I've noticed a voice in between all the other "commentaries" I have going on in my head, which I suspect is the vocal manifestation of the heart voice.

Later on this day, I fell asleep nearby the computer. I dreamt I was doing different things with someone. Always beside me, whom I couldn't see. Some children fell on the street, and we helped them. The father of these children was very grateful for us helping, so he asked the one beside me if we wanted to come for a Sauna. He looked at me, and I said "It's OK for me. I'm just like a light snack that fits for any occasion". Anyway, this someone beside me was always helping me, shoulder by shoulder, when walking down the street, nearly tripping over dog poo and stuff like that.

I just woke up, and I now understand than this someone is the heart, it is like a very close friend, always beside me. Protecting and taking care.

: Goddess' infinite universe is bigger than anything we humans can concieve in our lifetimes. Taking responsibility for what exists in the world is presumptous... you are not God of other people and they have free will too.

:   Take responsibility instead, for your reactions to the part of Her world you are experiencing here and now. Your judgments and perceptions.

I think that what happens is that I get "It's all me"-idea from the higher chakras, and then I fall back into the lower chakras where I think "Have I created this?". I get confused because the chakras are not integrated with each other.

I can't go around and think "What did I do to get  this?". It's not constructive. Rather my attitude should be "Hmm...why are they doing like that?%rdquo Notice that there are several perspectives to jugde it from, and on both sides there are arguments or conclusion that can justify the situation. And then notice that the different perspectives are just like a magnified reflection of sides of my personality.

: You are studying psychiatry, so your world view is filtered based on your judgments of sanity. When you graduate, your clients will be crazy people, your world will revolve around crazy people, sane people and how to move people from one state to the other. See, what you are focusing on, will grow... making judgements of sanity or insanity, will engage more and more of your time and attention. Will there be more crazy people in the world because of you? Fewer? That cannot be measured but obviously there will be more crazy people in your world. More in your personal day to day reality, plus more in your head because of all the people you are projecting "crazy" onto with your judgments.

:   The phenomena of feeding things with your attention is not necessarily a bad thing, if your focus is in alignment with following your bliss. However you are obviously uncomfortable with the head space you are growing into, so modify it.

I've asked the heart voice what if this study is right for me right now, and it reacts very positively.

There are not any other university-subjects that interests me. I've studied economy, and that was just a waste of time. Having an OK salaried fucking boring job, I just want to do something else. An alternative to study psychology would be to retire and move to India. Running a "bed and breakfast" place for backpackers, and just chilling on the roof, smoking pot and worshipping Shakti all day while doing Fire Serpent Tantra lessons with my wireless internet laptop, when not charging blood prices from the westerners.

I will probabably end up like a nutty professor, like Wilhelm Reich...or Timothy Leary.

:   The position of power is "I attract that which occurs." You are not creator so much as magnet, your focus on crazy people drawing more of them into your life. Karma attracting resonant experiences to give you an opportunity to surrender.  

I know...I know...My father was psychotic, my mother got labeled with schizophrenia and my sister was labeled with borderline. When both of them were locked up in mental institutions I said to myself "I am going to stay away as far away I can from crazy people". And now, 14 years later I want to be psychologist.

I have stopped thinking of my family members as diagnoses. I suspect my mother was kundalini awakened, she just went wild because some entity said she was Jesus...I guess. heh

: Making judgements is inevitable: Why not judge based on a different criteria? Everything is love, or a cry for love. Love or fear. When you see something you judge as crazy, ask yourself what do the crazy people fear? What is the fear that motivates animal testing, or a human holocaust? In what ways do you share their fear? Your judgements are a reflection of who you are, after all.  
:   The insights will move you to compassion instead of rejection.

I should accept, instead of putting emotional energy into things. The acceptance will work like surrender%hellipand then compassion and understanding will come (hopefully!).

Thanks for the advice Mystress! You Holy Fountain of Divine Wisdom.

Edward

[edward]

As you suggest, the key here must to be to engage in things with de-attached focus.  

More technical observation, like a witness state!

I will definetely try the fotball trick.

Edward

: Hi Ed,

: i think the trick is, to get a very clear picture of crazy situations or people and then let go, direct attention to areas where you can achieve something, for example practising or studiying FST-stuff, or what else you have to accomplish, even studiying psychology(although it may become confusing, i have decided to put it behind, first seeking more wisdom; because without wisdom i don't think, the whole scholarly stuff can be appropriately approached - and it really isn't, by scholars).

: For example i have done so with soccer transmissions; trying to calmly watch; watch the speaker and watch myself, the insane magick, that he's trying to sell, and how i'm influenced, learn about my weak points.
: I'm not focused on it, because i can easily withdraw, it has much less power over me; during the world championship i peeped into some games a bit, and found there can really be much learned around the whole trarara. In that course i got much less affected by the tension they build up, raising the pulse as if it was sssooo important, especially the last minutes of a game. In a way i admire their physical constitution, maybe they're ascended masters(or dumb stones; or evil magicians).

: There was a time, for a couple of years, without tv, and still sometimes i consider to abolish it again, but it's an important source of information, how sad and stupid it may appear; at least its valuable to notice Howcrazy the world is, and what do people estimate as crazy and what cool.

: Play on!

: juergen.