Really strange experience from attempted higher self negotiation

[Vyana]

Wow! If this was how she felt I really don%rsquot know what would have happened if she had communicated it then!

I suppose there was some ego involved in this negotiation. I really want this relationship to be healed.

A few weeks ago I made the decision to not allow myself to feel bad any more. Since than, I have been practicing the grounding exercise more regularly.

These last weeks I have also, rather spontaneously and without planning to do it or even thinking much about it, started to ask myself now and then: "Why is this the best thing that could happen to me right now?" Surprisingly often happenings which were not planned turns out even better than what I planned, especially when I apply a broader perspective to the situation and when I am open to new opportunities.

Mystress wrote:

Hi Vyana:

You can post it to the tea room. Surprising things can happen of a higher self negotiation. Especially if your motive is at all self centered. Feeling a need to do one is not the same as seeing perfection in what Is.

I'd say you got useful information about the real situation.

Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned. Shakti energy feels sexual to some unawakened people, and sometimes Goddess makes them fall in love/lust with an awakened person to get the attention. If they don't get the attention, they bite because it is another way of getting attention.

She was just letting you know how she really feels... what she wanted from you.  When you did not feel the same, she backed off.

Now you have another reason to learn to turn your Shakti inward so it is not triggering people.

Vyana wrote:

>Dear Mystress!

>This experience feels extremely private %ndash and maybe not only to me %ndash and somewhat embarrassing and I don't even feel I can write about it at the tea room.

>A few days ago - when I was on a wonderful holyday in Venice with my life; living in a hotel in a really old palace which made me have a lot of odd dreams - I tried to do a higher self negotiation. I did it lying in bed early in the morning when I had just done some energy practices and thought I had a lot of energy. My wife was sleeping in the same bed.

>I asked my guardian angels to arrange for a higher self negotiation with this woman who worked for me before. At that time, I really liked her a lot and she was very positive towards me and seemed to like me to. Later, she was turned against me and made crazy false allegations on the theme that I had abused my position and attempted to seduce her. (Of course the bullies believed her and used her stories against me.) This hurt me a lot; she was the only person I really knew and cared for who did not remain loyal. Still, only about a year after she made those allegations, she lit up like a Christmas tree when she happened to meet me in the corridor at our workplace.

>I did not perceive so much of the negotiation, but when I had a feeling of that it was over and I think exactly when I said, or was about to say, thank you to all involved something very strange happened. I was suddenly and instantly kind of overwhelmed with very strong feelings of intimate love. It felt as lovemaking on the spiritual level. It came so suddenly that it actually felt almost like an attack. It was also so strong that I was overwhelmed and could not copy with it; it felt as if it would somehow burn down my nervous system. So, I choose not to participate actively, but only to relax and thus kind of withdraw from it. When I did so, it soon stopped.

>Afterwards I felt really strange. It felt as if the lower part of my body - everything below the power chakra - was kind of empty, or swept clean.

>There was a pressure at my power chakra. This made me think of the description someone made at the tea room of being divided in two parts. My stomach also expanded and started to feel very heavy. This made me somewhat scared and I asked my guardian angels, my DB and you (your higher self) for protection. Afterwards, the strange feelings passed away in a few hours and I felt good again.

>This whole experience makes me confused. What was it? What is healing or attempted spiritual love-making? Who did it? It should be my DB, but it did not at all feel like her style. Did the higher negotiation work or should we redo it in the next session?

>Kind regards

>Vyana

[Scott E]

Perhaps this is taking us off topic with my own story but it seems a little bit fitting and I think maybe its a good thing that it get eaten by the tea room.

Being infatuated by girls in the way that Mystress described happened to me in my late teens and early twenties (I am 25 now), at the time it was a tough lesson. I don't know if they were K awake or not but I definatly felt the energetic and emotional attraction.

Those living habits failed my life and I needed a change in my life. At the time I reasoned that I needed to become psychic to help me understand my problems, because I couldn't understand them with the skills and knowledge I had at the time.

I got burned time after time, with girls. Work and school life seemed to be upturned. My physical health wasn't that great either. Everything seemed to fall apart at once. I read a bit about kundalini and that it seemed to be I was looking for. I didn't read at the time that some times people fall in to psychosis upon its activation.

To my recollection, I did not read how to activate kundalini when I first read about it. I remember reading that K was often represented by snakes but I don't think that I read anything on how to awaken it. Without discernment I awakened it by visualizing white snakes uncoiling in my spine and "the shit hit the fan", initially traumatized over the power of the snakes. Trauma has now turned into amazement, and stress seems to be pretty much the only thing in my life right now which is causing difficulties.

I am surprised that it was so easy to activate it and that I didn't read about activating it.

Scott E

: Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned. Shakti energy feels sexual to some unawakened people, and sometimes Goddess makes them fall in love/lust with an awakened person to get the attention. If they don't get the attention, they bite because it is another way of getting attention.

: She was just letting you know how she really feels... what she wanted from you.  When you did not feel the same, she backed off.

[Vyana]

From an ego/intellectual point of view this is just crazy, isn%rsquot it? When you love someone you are supposed to be kind and caring, not to attack that person! And before you attack someone for not wanting your love; it would be a really good idea to just ask, wouldn%rsquot it? What made her so sure that I would turn her down? Actually this is the most complicated way of saying %ldquoI love you%rdquo that I have ever heard of!

This event actually turned my brain on and it is starting to ask a lot of questions. At that time, I was removed from a position for having done funny things in a situation where I was accused of having been drinking a lot of wine and spirits. I don%rsquot remember drinking so much and I strongly suspect I was drugged. However, I am unable to find a really good motive, if it was not just a really bad practical joke which went wrong. Now I am starting to wonder whether she might somehow have provided such a motive. She wasn%rsquot there, and I am still unable to believe that she would knowingly have initiated such a deed. However, she might have uttered something to someone.

: Perhaps this is taking us off topic with my own story but it seems a little bit fitting and I think maybe its a good thing that it get eaten by the tea room.

: Being infatuated by girls in the way that Mystress described happened to me in my late teens and early twenties (I am 25 now), at the time it was a tough lesson. I don't know if they were K awake or not but I definatly felt the energetic and emotional attraction.

: Those living habits failed my life and I needed a change in my life. At the time I reasoned that I needed to become psychic to help me understand my problems, because I couldn't understand them with the skills and knowledge I had at the time.

: I got burned time after time, with girls. Work and school life seemed to be upturned. My physical health wasn't that great either. Everything seemed to fall apart at once. I read a bit about kundalini and that it seemed to be I was looking for. I didn't read at the time that some times people fall in to psychosis upon its activation.

: To my recollection, I did not read how to activate kundalini when I first read about it. I remember reading that K was often represented by snakes but I don't think that I read anything on how to awaken it. Without discernment I awakened it by visualizing white snakes uncoiling in my spine and "the shit hit the fan", initially traumatized over the power of the snakes. Trauma has now turned into amazement, and stress seems to be pretty much the only thing in my life right now which is causing difficulties.

: I am surprised that it was so easy to activate it and that I didn't read about activating it.

: Scott E

: : Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned. Shakti energy feels sexual to some unawakened people, and sometimes Goddess makes them fall in love/lust with an awakened person to get the attention. If they don't get the attention, they bite because it is another way of getting attention.

: : She was just letting you know how she really feels... what she wanted from you.  When you did not feel the same, she backed off.

[Mystress]

: From an ego/intellectual point of view this is just crazy, isn%rsquot it? When you love someone you are supposed to be kind and caring, not to attack that person! And before you attack someone for not wanting your love; it would be a really good idea to just ask, wouldn%rsquot it? What made her so sure that I would turn her down? Actually this is the most complicated way of saying %ldquoI love you%rdquo that I have ever heard of!

 LOL! Well, on a conscious level she might not know much about it. In fact, she might be quite puzzled at her own actions, or she has a handy ego story to explain herself.  

 Lots of people don't know that their higher self has a wild sex life. The higher self is less emotionally complicated than the physical ego self, because it is closer to the light. It still has boundaries but they are much looser, and it tends to be quite literal in its interpretation of "love" in a way that might shock the ego.

 Shakti feels sexual to people, especially if they have second chakra blockages. I have had people I had zero interest in, accusing me of hitting on them, and even a few crazies who had a sock puppet of me in their heads making them think I was casting love spells on them!

 My relationship with my own higher self is that I trust her to handle a lot of stuff for me, like taking care of my students... she is outside of time and can be many places at once... but astrally boinking students and random strangers is a limit, even if they ask nicely. I have to deal with what ripples down and it gets too complicated.  On the other hand, my astral sex life with those of my Tribe is extremely sexual... kinky!

Yes, her approach was adolescent, like a schoolyard romance where infatuation is shown by teasing and torment. The emotions of the higher self can be quite childlike.  

: This event actually turned my brain on and it is starting to ask a lot of questions. At that time, I was removed from a position for having done funny things in a situation where I was accused of having been drinking a lot of wine and spirits. I don%rsquot remember drinking so much and I strongly suspect I was drugged. However, I am unable to find a really good motive, if it was not just a really bad practical joke which went wrong. Now I am starting to wonder whether she might somehow have provided such a motive. She wasn%rsquot there, and I am still unable to believe that she would knowingly have initiated such a deed. However, she might have uttered something to someone.

These kinds of thoughts are bad for your mental health. Don't you notice how you get ungrounded and your power chakra goes bleagh when you think like this? This intellectual curiosity about what Shakti does, is your stuck place.

 You have a Shakti field. Shakti affects people. If you project your shakti field some people around you will start to act in crazy ways, even see things that did not happen. Most of the time you won't ever know what the hell they see when they look at you, that makes them act as they do. Let go of worrying about it or trying to control, and focus instead on your own discernment and joy. Keep your energy turned inward to minimize the Shakti-poking effects and Goddess handles the rest!
  Stay grounded and maintain a positive outlook, focus on growing your own strength of enlightenment, and the flow of life will convert these people in your favour, or take them down a different stream, away from you.
The less energy you give to worrying about predators, the fewer predators can find you. Wolves are attracted to the smell of fear. It tells them who is for lunch.  

 You have looked at this event from the ego, and from the higher self level. Now go look at it from every chakra level, in a grounded place. You know how to do this, but it is your pattern to get caught up in being wary and getting stuck in victimhood.  You have to transcend that pattern by making different choices.

 Blessings..  

[Vyana]

These things are really difficult for me!

Root chakra: The event is perceived as clearly positive.

Second chakra: This chakra feels thrilled and very positive. It wants more.

Power chakra: This chakra feels thrilled, but in the same time overwhelmed. The memories of our (professional) relationship are positive, as is this last event. But what has happened in-between; crazy made up allegations; is very negative and does not make any sense. It is not that I would not forgive her %ndash I probably already have %ndash but it really hurts. I never thought she was sexually attracted to me. I perceived her as a very funny and pleasant woman; the type of woman I would choose as a wife, but not as a mistress. Actually she was a very selfish person %ndash but in a very charming way %ndash and the only thing I perceived as really sexy about her was that I thought that if she became sexually attracted to any man, she would not let anything stand in her way to get what she wanted. I was never really sexually attracted to her, but had I known she was attracted to me, that might have changed, I don%rsquot know for sure. Anyway, I thought of her as a friend and expected her to remain loyal. The whole situation is actually more than I can handle at the power chakra level. From this level I would want more of her love, at least on the spiritual level, but I cannot take it; it was too intense when coming down from the higher self level. However, I definitely would not mind my higher self messing around with her, as long as that does not have her torturing me at the ego level.

Heart chakra: My heart chakra is like a volcano of bliss and joy %ndash when I am thinking something that is beneficial for my spiritual growth. In relation to other subject it seldom shows any clearly perceivable signs of interest. (1) I tried to ask my heart chakra about this shortly after the event. The only thing I got then was the faint and, if anything, rather bored and uninterested idea somewhere in the back of my mind: %ldquoWhat is just is.%rdquo (2) I also tried it again yesterday. Then the heart chakra felt more positive. There was some bliss and joy, but maybe more because of something else than because of this?

Trout chakra: It remembers the very nice discussions we often had, teasing each other. She was often a very inspiring person to talk to. At this level, I would want more of that.

Third eye chakra: There have been some energy movements in this area the last days. This chakra is positive, but it is not easy to say what it thinks about this event.

Crown chakra: The same goes for this chakra.

:   You have looked at this event from the ego, and from the higher self level. Now go look at it from every chakra level, in a grounded place. You know how to do this, but it is your pattern to get caught up in being wary and getting stuck in victimhood.  You have to transcend that pattern by making different choices.

:   Blessings..