Inner Predator (bad guy)

[Ylva]

Hi, gonna make a long post...

I seem to be dealing with this character at the moment. I try to work with my dreams as often as I can, and have had several dreams recently with this theme.

If anyone is interested in Jungian psychology and has read Pinkola Estes book 'Women who run with the wolves', he is the Bluebeard character in the first chapter.

He is the inner antagonist and mafia guy/murderer who tries to scare you away from seeking knowledge. My research online has led me to more ideas about this character:

He is said to be a black but failed magician (wants to keep knowledge to himself)

* He uses fear to scare you away from growth

* You cannot appeal to his compassion, he doesn't have any

* You need to challenge him and fight back

* He represents the negative aspects of patriarchy, and functions to thwart a woman's power

* He is afraid of you finding out how powerless he really is

* He can be defeated by being challenged, disobeyed and exposed

* I guess he is somewhat like a bad wizard of Oz

Ok, what tells me that I am dealing with this character (I guess he is feeling threatened by my recent growth and quest for freedom) is a series of recent dreams:

Dream 1

I am Lisa Simpson. (Yup, she's quite a heroic little girl!). I live in this house with a black magician, though I am not his child. When he is out of the house, I sneak into his room and steal and read all his magic documents. I know it is dangerous and I could be punished and/or killed, but it seems important to do. There are also children living in the house, I protect them when he is home by hiding them in my room so he can't get to them.

Then... snapshot to scene of being one of the women he takes home and rapes and then kills. No seduction or anything like that, no time to even feel anything sexual, you just walk into his room and then suddenly hate comes out of this man without warning and then he kills you, just like that. No time to react.

Then... The house is by the sea and connects to a bridge, and Lisa is hiding under the bridge. Perhaps she has been found out. She uses the magic formulas to summon a Colossus from the sea, huge and friendly to her but dangerous to any enemies. He hides in the mists for now until she needs him.

Dream 2

Me, my brother, sister-in-law and grandmother are looking for this mountain. It is evening and there is a sense of danger. We find a door that leads to a long long spiral staircase that will lead to the top of the mountain. People start to walk up, but I hesitate. I am last, but my brother wants to walk behind me, for protection. (Thank you Gustaf!) I am fearful and break off the party to run back down. There is a man behind us on the way down. I ask him: 'Do you know anything?' He smiles evilly and flashes vampire teeth. Not sexy vampire teeth, but more in a bodysnatcher way... with that sound, yuck. I realize it was a big mistake to ask, he is not a friend. I panic and run after the others upstairs. There is a livingroom upstairs, looks normal. But I sense that something is coming for us and it's not good. The others seem too comfortable. Then I wake up.

Dream 3

Two guys are holding me prisoner. They talk a hell of a lot, important things but unfortunately I don't remember them now. (Mostly threats but it could have been useful to remember as a clue.) Guy no 1 is REALLY evil, Guy no 2 seems confused. Then I am in a compartment on a train with guy number 2. He warns me not to try to escape. I am just hoping for a conductor or someone to walk by. Then he gets confused and hugs me and I remember that somehow I once loved this man. I feel very sentimental and beg him to try to remember. He gets confused and sits down at the table and says 'You are going to be more difficult to kill than the first one'. (Btw who is the first one???) This really freaks me out with hopelessness and I know the only thing I can do is to try to escape. The train stops and I make a run for it. He is a little too slow so I have a head start. On the way out I almost run into guy no 1. He spits at me - doesn't recognize me (because at first sight I appear to be just another pice of trash to him). He just hates women and spits at them all. Not that I care, I am still lucky to have a chance to get away. (but I don't like the idea of having this guy inside my psyche). Guy number 2 is behind me, it's dark outside like hellworld and I try to stop people to get help but they all seem confused and just laugh at me because they think i'm crazy. Then I wake up. Not sure I would have been able to get away. But at least I tried.

My guess is that guy no 1 is the Inner predator and that guy number too is my Inner confused/wounded male that really needs to be healed and merge with my divine beloved... but he seems to have ended up in the 'wrong' company for now.

As a sidenote, I can say that I have recently met, or let's say met again... what Mystress calls the divine beloved (he had been locked out since my late teens because of a misjudgement on my part involving a projection - guess if we made up, hehe (thank you, sweetest heart) More about this later perhaps. This has given me hope, but the message has also been that we have some work to do (and this is most likely part of it).

I need to deal with the freak for good and heal/transform the wounded guy. I seem to be dealing a lot with the masculine stuff at the moment, and all the toxic aspects of patriarchy, which have been bugging me a lot lately. I thought it was bad enough out there, but it is really inside I need to deal with it! Hoping this course will help, maybe someone has ideas too here on the board.

Perhaps someone else has had similar dreams or experiences?

I feel this is a really urgent issue, I can't run around with stuff inside me trying to kill me! I want my power back!

[Mystress]

  Hello, Yvla: Glad you joined!

 If something wants to kill you in your dreams, let it! It won't hurt a bit, and whatever karma the beings are trying to release will go too.

 If your male side is split into pieces like this, then probably your ego is too because one reflects the other. So if parts of your male side want to kill off some ego fragments, then it is a good thing. If a snake wants to swallow you whole, let it. If a tiger rips you to pieces in your dream and rats nibble on your bones, it is all good. Stop resisting.

  Blesssings...

: Hi, gonna make a long post...

: I seem to be dealing with this character at the moment. I try to work with my dreams as often as I can, and have had several dreams recently with this theme.

: If anyone is interested in Jungian psychology and has read Pinkola Estes book 'Women who run with the wolves', he is the Bluebeard character in the first chapter.

: He is the inner antagonist and mafia guy/murderer who tries to scare you away from seeking knowledge. My research online has led me to more ideas about this character:

: He is said to be a black but failed magician (wants to keep knowledge to himself)

: * He uses fear to scare you away from growth

: * You cannot appeal to his compassion, he doesn't have any

: * You need to challenge him and fight back

: * He represents the negative aspects of patriarchy, and functions to thwart a woman's power

: * He is afraid of you finding out how powerless he really is

: * He can be defeated by being challenged, disobeyed and exposed

: * I guess he is somewhat like a bad wizard of Oz

: Ok, what tells me that I am dealing with this character (I guess he is feeling threatened by my recent growth and quest for freedom) is a series of recent dreams:

:
: Dream 1

: I am Lisa Simpson. (Yup, she's quite a heroic little girl!). I live in this house with a black magician, though I am not his child. When he is out of the house, I sneak into his room and steal and read all his magic documents. I know it is dangerous and I could be punished and/or killed, but it seems important to do. There are also children living in the house, I protect them when he is home by hiding them in my room so he can't get to them.

: Then... snapshot to scene of being one of the women he takes home and rapes and then kills. No seduction or anything like that, no time to even feel anything sexual, you just walk into his room and then suddenly hate comes out of this man without warning and then he kills you, just like that. No time to react.

: Then... The house is by the sea and connects to a bridge, and Lisa is hiding under the bridge. Perhaps she has been found out. She uses the magic formulas to summon a Colossus from the sea, huge and friendly to her but dangerous to any enemies. He hides in the mists for now until she needs him.

:
: Dream 2

: Me, my brother, sister-in-law and grandmother are looking for this mountain. It is evening and there is a sense of danger. We find a door that leads to a long long spiral staircase that will lead to the top of the mountain. People start to walk up, but I hesitate. I am last, but my brother wants to walk behind me, for protection. (Thank you Gustaf!) I am fearful and break off the party to run back down. There is a man behind us on the way down. I ask him: 'Do you know anything?' He smiles evilly and flashes vampire teeth. Not sexy vampire teeth, but more in a bodysnatcher way... with that sound, yuck. I realize it was a big mistake to ask, he is not a friend. I panic and run after the others upstairs. There is a livingroom upstairs, looks normal. But I sense that something is coming for us and it's not good. The others seem too comfortable. Then I wake up.

:
: Dream 3

: Two guys are holding me prisoner. They talk a hell of a lot, important things but unfortunately I don't remember them now. (Mostly threats but it could have been useful to remember as a clue.) Guy no 1 is REALLY evil, Guy no 2 seems confused. Then I am in a compartment on a train with guy number 2. He warns me not to try to escape. I am just hoping for a conductor or someone to walk by. Then he gets confused and hugs me and I remember that somehow I once loved this man. I feel very sentimental and beg him to try to remember. He gets confused and sits down at the table and says 'You are going to be more difficult to kill than the first one'. (Btw who is the first one???) This really freaks me out with hopelessness and I know the only thing I can do is to try to escape. The train stops and I make a run for it. He is a little too slow so I have a head start. On the way out I almost run into guy no 1. He spits at me - doesn't recognize me (because at first sight I appear to be just another pice of trash to him). He just hates women and spits at them all. Not that I care, I am still lucky to have a chance to get away. (but I don't like the idea of having this guy inside my psyche). Guy number 2 is behind me, it's dark outside like hellworld and I try to stop people to get help but they all seem confused and just laugh at me because they think i'm crazy. Then I wake up. Not sure I would have been able to get away. But at least I tried.

: My guess is that guy no 1 is the Inner predator and that guy number too is my Inner confused/wounded male that really needs to be healed and merge with my divine beloved... but he seems to have ended up in the 'wrong' company for now.

: As a sidenote, I can say that I have recently met, or let's say met again... what Mystress calls the divine beloved (he had been locked out since my late teens because of a misjudgement on my part involving a projection - guess if we made up, hehe (thank you, sweetest heart) More about this later perhaps. This has given me hope, but the message has also been that we have some work to do (and this is most likely part of it).

: I need to deal with the freak for good and heal/transform the wounded guy. I seem to be dealing a lot with the masculine stuff at the moment, and all the toxic aspects of patriarchy, which have been bugging me a lot lately. I thought it was bad enough out there, but it is really inside I need to deal with it! Hoping this course will help, maybe someone has ideas too here on the board.

: Perhaps someone else has had similar dreams or experiences?

: I feel this is a really urgent issue, I can't run around with stuff inside me trying to kill me! I want my power back!

[Ylva]

Hi and thanks,

I hope I'm not schizophrenic...

Thanks Mystress, I definitely I know what you are talking about and am aware that often death is a good thing in dreams... in terms of surrender.

But I also think there is something else: some dream characters are there to test you, in a way.

I have been thinking, and come to a new insight: It%rsquos about having the courage to choose death over fear, about integrity and taking risks for what%rsquos really important instead of playing it safe.

I will give another example, an older dream:

I am on a spaceship and there are evil aliens pretending to be human. I can sense evil coming from them. They are smiling and pretending to be rational, wearing white coats like doctors. They are both male and female. The deal is they are going to drug me or 'else'... something worse will happen. Of course something worse and unspecified, it could even be an empty threat. I %lsquoknew%rsquo too much somehow, and they wanted to make sure I didn%rsquot tell anyone else. I felt that whatever I knew was important and could help others, perhaps to escape, but I am too scared of 'else' so I comply. They drug me which makes me feel paralyzed. Then they pull out my teeth, which of course symbolizes making me harmless. End of dream.

Giving in in this situation did not at all feel like the right choice afterwards. It didn't feel like surrender, it felt like self-betrayal. I felt like I had given in to fear instead of standing up for myself risking the greater unknown 'else'. I felt the dream was a test of my courage, and I lost. Like I made a shitty deal with bullies to save my own skin. That%rsquos what bullies do, use your own fear against you. I was so angry with myself when I woke up! Lesson: doing this makes you a prisoner of fear.

I assume that had I made the choice to face 'else'/death instead, I would either have exposed the aliens as having less power than they pretended and survived, alternatively I would have experienced death. Perhaps both.

If I had chosen death, fear would have had no power over me.

I guess I have to choose between surrender to death versus giving in to fear? I can sense the rewards of freedom here%hellip

I think I am starting to feel less confused about it, but it remains to see how much I can remember once I am dreaming.

Still think I have made some progress though - take the train dream for example: On the train I was aware that making a run for it would increase my chance of death in the short run, but increase my chance of survival in the long run. I could have been killed right away when I chose to try to escape. Why wasn%rsquot I? Back when I had the alien dream, I would have stayed on the train, too paralyzed by fear to take any such risk. Seems like a worse choice to me. The next step could be to say: Ok, just kill me then - but would I be doing the way I want to do it,  as a way of giving up fear, or would it be just a way to escape from the fear of taking the risk of escaping (like a small animal going paralyzed when their life is threatened)? It seems my motivation in the situation matters. I could surrender to death either to overcome fear (good), or because it seems like the easy way out and something else is even scarier, like fighting, escaping etc. (which means I have not overcome fear at all).

Another dilemma is the thought that if this were a real life situation%hellip would/should I make the same choice? Am I aware that I am dreaming? Do I choose differently because I am aware of this? Is this making it too easy, cheating? If I am not aware that I am dreaming and choose to die for no good reason, does that mean I would make an irrational choice if it actually were real? (if I choose to die for a good reason, then it is not irrational and doesn%rsquot matter).

Ok %ndash I%rsquom writing a lot, but I have a lot going on, and I get confused. Writing helps.

I%rsquom writing this here because I can't talk to most people because I am convinced that they will think I might be crazy... I don%rsquot want the men in the white coats to come for me%hellip Hopefully I won't get that reaction here.

Ylva

[Ylva]

I did another thing with the train dream which is a technique that I don't remember now where I got it from though.

To go back into your dream as soon as you wake up and deal with things and talk to the characters. It is very easy for me to visualize and work this way.

It helps to stay in the same body position as when you hade the dream - this helps the body to remember the dream better.

What happened whan I did this is that I faced the guy that had caught up with me and told him it was ok to kill me. What happened then was that I noticed that it was now daylight, and that he had a knife in his hand, but it had melted. He seemed kind of transparent too and also melted away like he wasn't real to begin with. Not what I expected - hey, where's my awesome death then? Í thought we were going to have some fun here!

Bah. And my wings came out too.

Lol, this made me laugh.

Ylva

[Mystress]

  Heh, now you are getting it.

 With regards to the alien dream... emotionless aliens often represent the Witness state. In your dream you knew things... that you could not express. Loss of teeth often represents anger. I broke a tooth once, the day after having a big temper tantrum. No anger in the Witness.

 Blessings...

: I did another thing with the train dream which is a technique that I don't remember now where I got it from though.

: To go back into your dream as soon as you wake up and deal with things and talk to the characters. It is very easy for me to visualize and work this way.

: It helps to stay in the same body position as when you hade the dream - this helps the body to remember the dream better.

: What happened whan I did this is that I faced the guy that had caught up with me and told him it was ok to kill me. What happened then was that I noticed that it was now daylight, and that he had a knife in his hand, but it had melted. He seemed kind of transparent too and also melted away like he wasn't real to begin with. Not what I expected - hey, where's my awesome death then? Í thought we were going to have some fun here!

: Bah. And my wings came out too.

: Lol, this made me laugh.

:
: Ylva

[Ylva]

Yeah, now when I think about it, I was really angry, angry at my own weakness.

And there is the periodically recurring 'oh my god a tooth just fell out' dream, waking up and checking if it's still there... I've heard it's a pretty common dream.

Ylva

:   Heh, now you are getting it.

:   With regards to the alien dream... emotionless aliens often represent the Witness state. In your dream you knew things... that you could not express. Loss of teeth often represents anger. I broke a tooth once, the day after having a big temper tantrum. No anger in the Witness.

:   Blessings...