Listening to Goddess

[Scott]

Hello!

I would like to share some experiences I had with listening and communicating with Goddess.

First of all the act of actually speaking to Goddess about what I am going through cleared up a lot of ego misconceptions about what is going on. Just the act alone of thinking and asking about something required me to be objective, take responsibility for my ideas and misconceptions, and in turn unload a lot of karmic baggage (Physically, mentally, and emotionally).

In recent times I was sort of upset that I couldn't hear anything. I wanted something to completely take over my mind and come in and say something, but it didn't. Actually a few times I think Goddess did do that but I could never re-enter that sort of state.

Instead my experience was sort of through the emotions. The emotional or the solar plexus response seemed to be the dominant way in which I communicated with Goddess. In interpreting the results I found that I could make a strong initial connection, but unravelling any further clarification was tiring and strenuous. Finding some hidden ego fears that had to be dismantled and thrown away. And then eventually getting drowned and frustrated and stop. Kind of like 2 steps forward one step back. One step back when I had some sort of fear reaction.

I also suppose there might be a few entities which may be giving false responses.

Any insights would be greatly appreciated!

Scott

[Gustaf]

: Hello!

: I would like to share some experiences I had with listening and communicating with Goddess.

: First of all the act of actually speaking to Goddess about what I am going through cleared up a lot of ego misconceptions about what is going on. Just the act alone of thinking and asking about something required me to be objective, take responsibility for my ideas and misconceptions, and in turn unload a lot of karmic baggage (Physically, mentally, and emotionally).

: In recent times I was sort of upset that I couldn't hear anything. I wanted something to completely take over my mind and come in and say something, but it didn't. Actually a few times I think Goddess did do that but I could never re-enter that sort of state.

: Instead my experience was sort of through the emotions. The emotional or the solar plexus response seemed to be the dominant way in which I communicated with Goddess. In interpreting the results I found that I could make a strong initial connection, but unravelling any further clarification was tiring and strenuous. Finding some hidden ego fears that had to be dismantled and thrown away. And then eventually getting drowned and frustrated and stop. Kind of like 2 steps forward one step back. One step back when I had some sort of fear reaction.

: I also suppose there might be a few entities which may be giving false responses.

: Any insights would be greatly appreciated!

: Scott

Funny how you talk about wanting something to completely take you over and sweep you away.. I've had the exact same experience, asking for the exact same thing!  And I've felt the frustration as well.

I've found that Goddess speaks to me with silence. It's gentle, yet clear.  I am rarely given any concepts or words... Hmm.. Don't think I am ever given specific words.. Heck, it's not even like she speaks. I just kind of.. melt into it. It's so silent and so clear, and it can happen at any time. Usually when I don't try!

I keep looking for Kali to eat me up, or the DB to sweep me up into her bosom and explain how the universe works in loud, clear sentences! LOL  But it usually doesn't work that way (Although things like that do happen sometimes too)   I find the connection when I stop looking for words.. When Istop asking with words.. Almost like the question and the answer are the same thing.. Then whatever happens just..happens. It's funny..

A knowing is there, but I'm not given any concept or phrase for it.  Often in a space between or rather behind thought.  Although often enough, ego voice barges in loudly and starts to ask for verbal answers, concepts, systems, a need to know what is exactly going to happen next! What is right and what is wrong. Silence is boring! Simplicity is boring too!

Most of the time that experience is subtle, happens daily.  But on occasion it is intense.  Last easter when reading the class about the Holy Trinity I had a flash of seeing an infinite amount of lifetimes occuring simultaneously. Not reading it.. Experiencing it. Or the potential of it. An opening. Then the shockwave comes. Shockwave of mind, self image that can't comprehend it, trying to fill the opening.  The opening is not so bad, but the shockwave can be a bit uncomfortable.

I think that's what happened with my initial spark a few years ago. The moment of awakening or realization was infinitely small and quick, but the shockwave of fear that followed was loud and messy.

Anyway, getting a bit off topic, but it feels good to share, so why not. What I was getting to is that Goddess never speaks to me in the way I expect.. How could it?   The result is never the expected.. It's never something I've seen or experienced before. Always something that I didn't understand or comprehend before.. Always different. The old ways don't seem to work. She wishes me to be attentive and open! Every time.

That's also how I've been able to tell entities apart from the genuine stuff.  Entities seem to enjoy talking in loud booming voices or with a lot of drama in general, building on some emotion or the other.. Goddess just... changes me! What I perceive of myself.. There's nothing static or defined about it. And usually I can't explain it. Not even to myself!  A method can work repeatedly, but the expectations have to go..

We had an entity in this new house we moved into. A Goblin with long sharp teeth. Startled me a bit at first, scared the hell out of my sister. I summoned him up (Funny how you can do that) and dropped expectations about him. Told him he could stay if he behaved.  Afterwards I realized that to the Goblin that was the same thing as saying that he holds no power here. Goblins live by mischief and scaring things!  He was gone the same night. And I didn't even tell him specifically to go!

My DB (And her lovely shadow side) likes to push me into dropping expectations, into not trying to approach things in the same old ways. Even if the old way happens to be just 5 minutes old!

Maybe your experience is a bit like the shockwave I shared? Does it resonate with you.. Kinda like suddenly something happens, and then there's like all the things that were in the way of that opening rears its head at you and asks for immediate attention and surrender?

Namaste!
Gustaf

[Scott E]

I resonate with most of your experiences! Thanks for the input!

Scott

: Maybe your experience is a bit like the shockwave I shared? Does it resonate with you.. Kinda like suddenly something happens, and then there's like all the things that were in the way of that opening rears its head at you and asks for immediate attention and surrender?

: Namaste!
: Gustaf

[Mystress]

: : Hello!

: : I would like to share some experiences I had with listening and communicating with Goddess.

: : First of all the act of actually speaking to Goddess about what I am going through cleared up a lot of ego misconceptions about what is going on. Just the act alone of thinking and asking about something required me to be objective, take responsibility for my ideas and misconceptions, and in turn unload a lot of karmic baggage (Physically, mentally, and emotionally).

: : In recent times I was sort of upset that I couldn't hear anything. I wanted something to completely take over my mind and come in and say something, but it didn't.

No, Free Will is Goddess law.  

:Actually a few times I think Goddess did do that but I could never re-enter that sort of state.

Wanting, makes wanting.

: : Instead my experience was sort of through the emotions. The emotional or the solar plexus response seemed to be the dominant way in which I communicated with Goddess.

Yes, yes, YES!!  Think your thoughts, watch how your power chakra responds. That is your body-Goddess telling you about it. When you learn to do that well, you will notice the thoughts too, take on a conversation as inspiration incoming translates to words or ideas... some of which, cannot be put into words! Power chakra, for sure will tell you what thoughts are not truth, which is karma. What is to be surrendered.

: In interpreting the results I found that I could make a strong initial connection, but unravelling any further clarification was tiring and strenuous.

Because you were trying too hard, which is ego resistance in disguise. It is not about trying, just stay grounded and let your thoughts go where they may, and notice your power chakra responding to every one. It will let you know what thoughts are to be surrendered, and which are valid. Sit back like watching TV.

 It is so difficult to communicate, the particular act of stepping aside from yourself, to let Goddess.  It is not about trying, it is about *allowing*.

Learn to enjoy a little more mystery, be patient in waiting for answers to unfold themselves. Often the answer to a questions will appear soon after, and be an external validation. It is like the time travel paradox, if you know what will happen in the future you will inevtably change it. Goddess likes her surprise parties!

Synchronicity and experience can communicate an idea more completely, on all levels unlike words in your mind.

 The mysteries do a slow strip tease, Revealing then hiding, then revealing a little more and throwing a viel away. How diminished would the famous "Dance of the seven veils" be if they were all ripped away at once? Allow yourself to be teased and tantalized by the mystery, the love affair with your DB.  

: Finding some hidden ego fears that had to be dismantled and thrown away. And then eventually getting drowned and frustrated and stop.

You just attached to the thoughts and became ungrounded.

: Kind of like 2 steps forward one step back. One step back when I had some sort of fear reaction.

That too, can be surrender. Pacing yourself.

: : I also suppose there might be a few entities which may be giving false responses.

: : Any insights would be greatly appreciated!

: : Scott

: Funny how you talk about wanting something to completely take you over and sweep you away.. I've had the exact same experience, asking for the exact same thing!  And I've felt the frustration as well.

It may happen, but when you least expect. For the most part, telling Goddess how you want Her to be, is not surrender. You must use your free will and choose to step aside and allow Her to do as She pleases.
 There are thoughts, and there are feelings, sensations. You are none of these. You can sit back and watch your mind and body talking in words and feelings, and in so doing get to know your Self... and what you are not. The difference between the mind noise idea of who you are and the Self that watches.  

: I've found that Goddess speaks to me with silence. It's gentle, yet clear.  I am rarely given any concepts or words... Hmm.. Don't think I am ever given specific words.. Heck, it's not even like she speaks. I just kind of.. melt into it. It's so silent and so clear, and it can happen at any time. Usually when I don't try!

Yes, you are learning to step aside... and when you do, there is a silence that is an infinite knowing that has no questions. In that state, you know whatever you need to know, in the moment, and without need for words or thinking. Zen Master has a silent mind, and acts in perfection.

 It is not a takeover, it is a giving over, of yourself. A sacred marriage.

: I keep looking for Kali to eat me up, or the DB to sweep me up into her bosom and explain how the universe works in loud, clear sentences! LOL

Ego loves the stories, and wants stories for comfort. The universe, simply IS.  

: But it usually doesn't work that way (Although things like that do happen sometimes too)   I find the connection when I stop looking for words.. When I stop asking with words..

Yeah, just get grounded, be quiet and feel. Feel your heart chakra, feel your power chakra, they speak without words to reveal truth.
 We call it, Learning to speak the language of energy. Relax, notice your breathing, your grounding, your heart rate and chakras... without judgment. It is like a friendly "Hey, what's up?" to your body and when it feels you are genuinely listening instead of trying to control, the energy will tell you everything. Just be open to the information and don't interrupt until the message seems complete... a polite conversation. Active listening, to yourself. Give your attention to the simple sensations of the body and its grounding energy field.

:Almost like the question and the answer are the same thing.. Then whatever happens just..happens. It's funny..

: A knowing is there, but I'm not given any concept or phrase for it.  Often in a space between or rather behind thought.  Although often enough, ego voice barges in loudly and starts to ask for verbal answers, concepts, systems, a need to know what is exactly going to happen next! What is right and what is wrong. Silence is boring! Simplicity is boring too!

Yeah, easy to get caught up in life and drama and forget to stop, and check in... but with time and practice, grounding deepens so you become aware of the core of silence within yourself that is always there, despite the noise and chaos of life.

: Most of the time that experience is subtle, happens daily.  But on occasion it is intense.  Last easter when reading the class about the Holy Trinity I had a flash of seeing an infinite amount of lifetimes occuring simultaneously. Not reading it.. Experiencing it. Or the potential of it. An opening. Then the shockwave comes. Shockwave of mind, self image that can't comprehend it, trying to fill the opening.  The opening is not so bad, but the shockwave can be a bit uncomfortable.

Peak experiences can give a sort of hangover... all the stuff that is shaken loose comes up at once to be surrendered.

: I think that's what happened with my initial spark a few years ago. The moment of awakening or realization was infinitely small and quick, but the shockwave of fear that followed was loud and messy.

Yeah. Goddess doesn't make it hard, we do.

: Anyway, getting a bit off topic, but it feels good to share, so why not. What I was getting to is that Goddess never speaks to me in the way I expect.. How could it?  

The best way to discourage your ego efforts at control, is for them to simply not work. So many of the frustrations mentioned in this tea room is simply how Goddess trains you to surrender expectations.

: The result is never the expected.. It's never something I've seen or experienced before. Always something that I didn't understand or comprehend before.. Always different. The old ways don't seem to work. She wishes me to be attentive and open! Every time.

Yes, attentive and open, exactly so.

: That's also how I've been able to tell entities apart from the genuine stuff.  Entities seem to enjoy talking in loud booming voices or with a lot of drama in general, building on some emotion or the other.. Goddess just... changes me!

!

: What I perceive of myself.. There's nothing static or defined about it.

Like your mirror games reflection.

: And usually I can't explain it. Not even to myself!  A method can work repeatedly, but the expectations have to go..

The method IS to let go of expectations. To be fully in the moment, open, attentive... waiting.

: We had an entity in this new house we moved into. A Goblin with long sharp teeth. Startled me a bit at first, scared the hell out of my sister. I summoned him up (Funny how you can do that) and dropped expectations about him. Told him he could stay if he behaved.  Afterwards I realized that to the Goblin that was the same thing as saying that he holds no power here. Goblins live by mischief and scaring things!  He was gone the same night. And I didn't even tell him specifically to go!

Yeah, you caught him. Often the laser of attention is enough, they prefer the shadows.

: My DB (And her lovely shadow side) likes to push me into dropping expectations, into not trying to approach things in the same old ways. Even if the old way happens to be just 5 minutes old!

Yup. You don't get to hold onto anything. It is all baggage you cannot take with you.

: Maybe your experience is a bit like the shockwave I shared? Does it resonate with you.. Kinda like suddenly something happens, and then there's like all the things that were in the way of that opening rears its head at you and asks for immediate attention and surrender?

Yup. Increase of energy in a peak experience jiggles a lot of karma loose, to be released. Anything that is not in alignment with the new insight, has to go. When you know that is all it is, it is easier to surrender and watch it go away. Let it burn.

 Blessings!  

: Namaste!
: Gustaf