Gounding

[Scott E]

When I do the grounding meditation, its like, I am here in the now but the mind just feels off in the distance. I find that the ego just finds a way to drift off on to some other topic, outside of my control. When I get pulled into something that is uncomfortable I usually just stop.

Something is just always there, sparking confusion.

Phenomena enters my mind and I feel like I should "do" something about it. I can't for the life of me find out how this phenomena is entering, as a cause and effect relationship. Sure, its the power chakra, but where is the gear shifter that stops me from going off into never never land?

Its like there is a gateway that keeps opening up in my awareness and if for whatever reason and I keep getting pulled in. This is not necessarily something that is a new behaviour. Most of the behaviour and phenomena is something which I have been getting hung up on for a long time.

I resonated deeply with the article on Aspects of consciousnes. I related with the shadow stuff.

Ending old behaviours is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I am ahving some success with it too, but it is hard.

The only way I have learned to really deal with it is to use, for lack of a better term, excessive surrender. Just to take an entirely new outlook on life, outside of think think think. Taking control of my life by letting it go and giving it up.

Surrender sometimes, just feels like I am resisting or ignoring. Whats up with that?

Scott

[Mystress]

: Phenomena enters my mind and I feel like I should "do" something about it.

Why? Most K phenomena is just appearing on its way out, analysing it and looking for causes just slows things down.

:I can't for the life of me find out how this phenomena is entering, as a cause and effect relationship. Sure, its the power chakra, but where is the gear shifter that stops me from going off into never never land?

Grounding brings in energy, energy triggers karma to wake up and head out. If you stay grounded it is easier to remain unattached to the exiting stuff.

: Its like there is a gateway that keeps opening up in my awareness and if for whatever reason and I keep getting pulled in. This is not necessarily something that is a new behaviour. Most of the behaviour and phenomena is something which I have been getting hung up on for a long time.

Why are you hung up on it?

: The only way I have learned to really deal with it is to use, for lack of a better term, excessive surrender. Just to take an entirely new outlook on life, outside of think think think. Taking control of my life by letting it go and giving it up.

Works, eh?

: Surrender sometimes, just feels like I am resisting or ignoring. Whats up with that?

Yeah, sometimes people get caught in using passive surrender as an avoidance behavior. If you surrender something and it comes back 3x, it may be that Goddess won't take it because it is a gift for you. What will happen then is each time you surrender it, Goddess gives back insights, clues as to what it is for or what insight needs to be gained. Active surrender.
 Richard Bach says "There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts.  If Goddess won't take something, start prospecting for silver linings.

  Blessings!

: Scott

[Scott E]

Thank you for the really good advice.

"most of the stuff you see the stuff as it is leaving" .. this is a very helpful comment.

I feel less like I am in the K-frenzy that began 2 years ago and I am back to my normal frustrating ways of life that I have been experiencing for 10 years. I feel now like have entered a time where I want to REALLY let go of everything. Like I don't even care about myself, or anything. Just want to let go.

I feel now like I am ready to let go of everything, (and you are exactly right on this) Goddess is leaving me gifts to integrate, or enjoy, or whatever. Then I see something in front of me and I am like woah, this isn't normal. Normal blessings don't occur. Then psycho Scott enters the scene, and pulling answers out of the air (what did I do to create this).

Praryers seem to be answered in some way, and they are answered in the form of other people. This ungrounds the heck out of me. The idea that I am actually interacting with a Divine force right hear and now worries me, cuz I don't want to be a Bible stomper. LOL. is that a first? Someone who is angry at all the blessings? LOL probably not.

I am a little scared at the idea that people are hearing my ego voice, or I am hearing theres. Its crazy. But it must be a gift not a curse. The synchronicities leave me humbled.

There is also some deep guilt that I carry. Deep. A lot of judgments about society whose origin I can't explain why I carry. It just comes spewing out. And some stuff which comes up which has to do with past sexual desires and stuff.

I also feel guilty because this stuff appears as really heavy issues. To be carrying a lot of this stuff to me seems like a Doctor would put me into therapy or something. I would be labelled very sick, I believe. I am much happier to live by my beliefs, that these issues will pass through surrender.

I am a little hung up, because there I want to let go of everything. And there is the old Scott which remains at every turn, facing old fears.

And like, I am only 24 years old. I havn't even entered my Carlsberg years yet (LOL).

Scott

[DanielT]

I would suggest that guilt is pretty much a useless emotion.  As for K making you righteous.  Well I think all people who enter Spiritual paths go through extended periods of feeling very righteous about themselves and the world in general.  

But the most important thing is that you are aware of it in yourself and others.  Adi Da once said "You can only be righteous towards someone when you are not loving them."  If you love them you will not be righteous.  And nobody is going to listen to your advice anyways or change UNLESS it is delivered with love.  So you will probably notice on these occasions you are not "grounded" or heart open.

But if you stay aware of all these ego incidents I'm sure you will be humbled more than you have ever been.  The more we notice our ego behaviour the more humble we become, and humourous.  But do not become concerned about them.  That only causes more stress.  Just do something different.  

Scott you probably are not "gaining issues"  you are just becoming more and more aware of the existing ones you have.  Another analogy from Adi Da: When the Sunlight shines directly down into a deep dark well, all sorts of creepy crawlies (unconscious) are disturbed and start climbing up to the surface to escape.

Hope this helps!
DT

: Thank you for the really good advice.

: "most of the stuff you see the stuff as it is leaving" .. this is a very helpful comment.

: I feel less like I am in the K-frenzy that began 2 years ago and I am back to my normal frustrating ways of life that I have been experiencing for 10 years. I feel now like have entered a time where I want to REALLY let go of everything. Like I don't even care about myself, or anything. Just want to let go.

: I feel now like I am ready to let go of everything, (and you are exactly right on this) Goddess is leaving me gifts to integrate, or enjoy, or whatever. Then I see something in front of me and I am like woah, this isn't normal. Normal blessings don't occur. Then psycho Scott enters the scene, and pulling answers out of the air (what did I do to create this).

: Praryers seem to be answered in some way, and they are answered in the form of other people. This ungrounds the heck out of me. The idea that I am actually interacting with a Divine force right hear and now worries me, cuz I don't want to be a Bible stomper. LOL. is that a first? Someone who is angry at all the blessings? LOL probably not.

: I am a little scared at the idea that people are hearing my ego voice, or I am hearing theres. Its crazy. But it must be a gift not a curse. The synchronicities leave me humbled.

: There is also some deep guilt that I carry. Deep. A lot of judgments about society whose origin I can't explain why I carry. It just comes spewing out. And some stuff which comes up which has to do with past sexual desires and stuff.

: I also feel guilty because this stuff appears as really heavy issues. To be carrying a lot of this stuff to me seems like a Doctor would put me into therapy or something. I would be labelled very sick, I believe. I am much happier to live by my beliefs, that these issues will pass through surrender.

: I am a little hung up, because there I want to let go of everything. And there is the old Scott which remains at every turn, facing old fears.

: And like, I am only 24 years old. I havn't even entered my Carlsberg years yet (LOL).

: Scott

[Mystress]

: Thank you for the really good advice.

You are welcome!

: "most of the stuff you see the stuff as it is leaving" .. this is a very helpful comment.

: I feel less like I am in the K-frenzy that began 2 years ago and I am back to my normal frustrating ways of life that I have been experiencing for 10 years. I feel now like have entered a time where I want to REALLY let go of everything. Like I don't even care about myself, or anything. Just want to let go.

Yeah, and when you get to that place, the process speeds up.

: I feel now like I am ready to let go of everything, (and you are exactly right on this) Goddess is leaving me gifts to integrate, or enjoy, or whatever. Then I see something in front of me and I am like woah, this isn't normal.

What is "Normal"?

:Normal blessings don't occur. Then psycho Scott enters the scene, and pulling answers out of the air (what did I do to create this).

That is a useful question, actually. You are asking where the karmic pattern lives, and Goddess will answer. "Know thyself" is the spiritual imperative, and "What did I do to create this?" is looking inward for the source of the stuff, so you can release more.  

: Prayers seem to be answered in some way, and they are answered in the form of other people.

Sometimes!

:This ungrounds the heck out of me. The idea that I am actually interacting with a Divine force right hear and now worries me, cuz I don't want to be a Bible stomper. LOL.

You don't have to be. Just accept it with "thank you very much."

:is that a first? Someone who is angry at all the blessings? LOL probably not.

: I am a little scared at the idea that people are hearing my ego voice, or I am hearing theres.

They probably aren't. Telepathy tends to be unconscious to unconscious, only the sensitive get the info from the unconscious. Other telepaths will be understanding, and the deaf ones won't know. Just make a joke of it, if they notice something wierd. "Great minds think alike" is a good line.

: Its crazy. But it must be a gift not a curse. The synchronicities leave me humbled.

Humbled is a good place to be.

: There is also some deep guilt that I carry. Deep. A lot of judgments about society whose origin I can't explain why I carry. It just comes spewing out. And some stuff which comes up which has to do with past sexual desires and stuff.

Guilt occurs when actions are not in alignment with self image. Either change the actions, or the self image... love and accept the shadow.

: I also feel guilty because this stuff appears as really heavy issues. To be carrying a lot of this stuff to me seems like a Doctor would put me into therapy or something. I would be labelled very sick, I believe. I am much happier to live by my beliefs, that these issues will pass through surrender.

: I am a little hung up, because there I want to let go of everything. And there is the old Scott which remains at every turn, facing old fears.

: And like, I am only 24 years old. I havn't even entered my Carlsberg years yet (LOL).

: Scott

Relax, you are exactly where you need to be in the here and now. Blessings!

[Mystress]

The righeousness, oddly enough is a phase of heart chakra opening. Folks get the idea that God speaking to them makes them special and superior, and that what is right for them must be right for everyone.

 As you say, if you are conscious of it then it is not an issue. Blessings!

: I would suggest that guilt is pretty much a useless emotion.  As for K making you righteous.  Well I think all people who enter Spiritual paths go through extended periods of feeling very righteous about themselves and the world in general.  

: But the most important thing is that you are aware of it in yourself and others.  Adi Da once said "You can only be righteous towards someone when you are not loving them."  If you love them you will not be righteous.  And nobody is going to listen to your advice anyways or change UNLESS it is delivered with love.  So you will probably notice on these occasions you are not "grounded" or heart open.

: But if you stay aware of all these ego incidents I'm sure you will be humbled more than you have ever been.  The more we notice our ego behaviour the more humble we become, and humourous.  But do not become concerned about them.  That only causes more stress.  Just do something different.  

: Scott you probably are not "gaining issues"  you are just becoming more and more aware of the existing ones you have.  Another analogy from Adi Da: When the Sunlight shines directly down into a deep dark well, all sorts of creepy crawlies (unconscious) are disturbed and start climbing up to the surface to escape.

: Hope this helps!
: DT

: : Thank you for the really good advice.

: : "most of the stuff you see the stuff as it is leaving" .. this is a very helpful comment.

: : I feel less like I am in the K-frenzy that began 2 years ago and I am back to my normal frustrating ways of life that I have been experiencing for 10 years. I feel now like have entered a time where I want to REALLY let go of everything. Like I don't even care about myself, or anything. Just want to let go.

: : I feel now like I am ready to let go of everything, (and you are exactly right on this) Goddess is leaving me gifts to integrate, or enjoy, or whatever. Then I see something in front of me and I am like woah, this isn't normal. Normal blessings don't occur. Then psycho Scott enters the scene, and pulling answers out of the air (what did I do to create this).

: : Praryers seem to be answered in some way, and they are answered in the form of other people. This ungrounds the heck out of me. The idea that I am actually interacting with a Divine force right hear and now worries me, cuz I don't want to be a Bible stomper. LOL. is that a first? Someone who is angry at all the blessings? LOL probably not.

: : I am a little scared at the idea that people are hearing my ego voice, or I am hearing theres. Its crazy. But it must be a gift not a curse. The synchronicities leave me humbled.

: : There is also some deep guilt that I carry. Deep. A lot of judgments about society whose origin I can't explain why I carry. It just comes spewing out. And some stuff which comes up which has to do with past sexual desires and stuff.

: : I also feel guilty because this stuff appears as really heavy issues. To be carrying a lot of this stuff to me seems like a Doctor would put me into therapy or something. I would be labelled very sick, I believe. I am much happier to live by my beliefs, that these issues will pass through surrender.

: : I am a little hung up, because there I want to let go of everything. And there is the old Scott which remains at every turn, facing old fears.

: : And like, I am only 24 years old. I havn't even entered my Carlsberg years yet (LOL).

: : Scott

[Scott]

Thanks Tynan!