Secrecy

[Sandra]

Hi group - having shared two things about me lately - the gasping guppy and the psychic sex, I've come to realize what I like most in my life right now is an absence of secrecy. I like the communication! I like the pages and pages of Mystress's surefootedness in explaining and teaching material. I like that there's this world where one enlightened one says "Just Evolve" smiling and laughing impossibly, and then another enlightened one sits down with me, With Me, and I get to feel like evolving is totally doable. I love the step-by-step instruction and the encouragement to develop and own personal discipline.

And the thing about the breathing and the sex that's been the most distressing is just how secret and alone it was all feeling for me, like there's all this stuff happening, and my mind is working overtime, all alone trying to place it in context. Now I know I'm responsible for my high-octane mind, and that I've got karma - and I am grateful for the opportunties to work through it. I also know that I spent many formative years in a quasi-cultish religious environment, and that I'll likely always be fascinated by the dynamics of secrecy, of handing one's life situations over to a group mind, and of seeming to find one's self identity only in a Guru-ship's environment and guidance.

It is definitely me now out there slinging in the world with all of you - even me starting to realize my contribution, my will, and my responsibilities. I'm just so grateful to everybody that's been reading along and everybody who's been a part of Fire Serpent from conception onward. You guys are great.

Be good! Sandra