Questions about Physical Symptoms

Shari · Dec 02, 2002, 08:16:24 AM

Hello Mystress and fellow students,
Gee that sounded formal didn't it! Like I was about to blurt out a speech. Sorry I am writing what I was thinking.
I have a few questions if I may.

I seem a little stuck, I am on the Holy Trinity lesson, and have been a little side tracked for a couple of weeks. Alot of work stresses plus personal issues with my partner that have come to a head. Actually quite frighteningly so. I have been dealing with aggressive flare ups with a partner diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality disorder. This relationship has been a roller coaster for many months now and he won't let up. A little over a week ago he became very threatening and I have not seen him since but his emails are starting again!!
The reason for mentioning this is purely to, I don't know, just thinking on it, maybe it's ego again and it's making me feel I have to justify my stress or to explain things have been quite bad so that, gee this is weird, my mind is sort of spinning, thoughts popping in explaining things to myself, maybe goddess giving me answers that I can't yet fully recognize..............I am typing exactly what's popping into my mind so bear with me please.
Actually, I started out to ask about that fact that for several weeks now I have felt like absolute s...t.

I wake up every morning with headaches, upper back pain, although the back pain has got much better this past week. Sometimes the headaches are very bad and stay that way for about 2 days, other times it is like my head is really heavy and when I ground right in the start I get more pain in the top of my head. The headaches are there constantly each and every day.

I am so tired all the time, needing to rest each day. I teach dancing and normally feel very fit.......the other day I did a one song warm up for my Tiny Tots classes which wasn't a hard warm up by any means and after it I felt like I had run for miles!! I feel about 65 years old, unusual for me when even up to the end of last year I was still performing full on shows on the stage.

I feel like my immune system must be really low and at times my breathing is quite heavy and laboured. (Have to stop smoking, but can't seem to do it with my life in turmoil)
I have sort of been pre occupied with researching alternative health sites trying to find solutions and have not been reading as much as I should have in my current lesson. I think I will have to surrender this to goddess when I finish this post.

I don't know if all this is to do with the stress I have had these past months or whether it could be to do with becoming more aware and manifesting into physical symptoms.
I do suffer headaches but not where I wake up with it every day and still feel pain when I go to bed each night. I have been surrendering to the pain but it is sticking with me, I feel so drained.

Is it possible that it could be related to becoming more open to energy? I am very reluctant to go to the doctors as I have gone that road many times before and they never find anything wrong.

As far as my progress with the course, I have been grounding now for 72 days, still counting each day, I feel a sense of achievement if I do I think............I am still not feeling any more than nice tingles all over my back. Usually when I lay down it starts and ofcourse I feel it during my grounding.

I have been trying the past few days to imagine my DB and have a conversation with him as suggested, I found it hard in the start and couldnt get a clear picture in my mind. I finally got a body, a really hot body! But I cannot get a face. It's just a blur around the face, very strange but then I figure that maybe I'm not ready for the whole thing yet with so many issues going on right now with me.

I have not been happy in my business for a few years now and I feel after beginning this course that a change is near. It's almost like what I have known I needed to do for some time is screaming out at me now. More problems all the time with my studio, dealing with unreasonable mothers of students, things seem to be happening to stress me even more, is this coming from goddess, that she is sending me more to deal with to get me that frustrated that I do change my direction?
That is another thing thats been preoccupying me, researching what I can do to change my career to be able to move on and find contentment and some peace in my life.

I apologise for the length of this post but hopefully I can get some thoughts on whether the way I am feeling could be attributed to K awakening.

With Kindest Regards to all.
Shari

Mystress · Dec 02, 2002, 05:59:51 PM

: Hello Mystress and fellow students,
: Gee that sounded formal didn't it! Like I was about to blurt out a speech. Sorry I am writing what I was thinking.
: I have a few questions if I may.

Of course!

: I seem a little stuck, I am on the Holy Trinity lesson, and have been a little side tracked for a couple of weeks. Alot of work stresses plus personal issues with my partner that have come to a head. Actually quite frighteningly so. I have been dealing with aggressive flare ups with a partner diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality disorder. This relationship has been a roller coaster for many months now and he won't let up. A little over a week ago he became very threatening and I have not seen him since but his emails are starting again!!
: The reason for mentioning this is purely to, I don't know, just thinking on it, maybe it's ego again and it's making me feel I have to justify my stress or to explain things have been quite bad so that, gee this is weird, my mind is sort of spinning, thoughts popping in explaining things to myself, maybe goddess giving me answers that I can't yet fully recognize..............I am typing exactly what's popping into my mind so bear with me please.
: Actually, I started out to ask about that fact that for several weeks now I have felt like absolute s...t.

Some odd phase of the moon? Stars out of alignment?

I have been sleeping an unusual amount lately also, and so have some other awakened folks I know. So much, that I took a few weeks vacation from all work except this tea room, to turn inward and do some self healing.

Observing behavior patterns on the K-list is sometimes a good barometer of "earth energy weather"... a few weeks back there was a lot of hostility being expressed on the list, and then things went very quiet... the calm after the storm. On other lists that are not K-focused, people are reporting disturbed sleep cycles and premonitions of doom.

Traditionally, the days between Samhain (Halloween) and Yule (Solstice, X-mas) are dark days... at least, for those of us of European ancestry and living in the northern hemisphere. It is the fall season of death and endings, the days getting shorter and tempers too. Dunno how it works for a person of Eurpoean ancestry living in the southern hemisphere.

I often find I need to turn inward for a while in November... just part of my orbit. Happens every year.

I usually do not encourage people to give energy to ideas of vampirism, but I would still suggest you take a look at cords connecting you to your partner, and see if he has been feeding on your energy and dumping stuff onto you.

Break the ties on a spiritual level, and see how you feel. The breathing symptoms are consistent with someone feeding on your life force, or of entities/blockages in the power chakra.

Could be your crown blockages are not your own, and that is why you cannot surrender them directly. In that case, use this prayer:

Goddess please take from me anything that is in me that truly belongs to (x) and give it back to him in whatever way You think best. Thank you very much!

Works better than simply "return to sender" because Goddess may give it back to him as an insight or inspiration. "Return to sender" sometimes feels like psychic attack if it is horizontal (person to person) instead of vertical (person to Goddess to person.)

: I wake up every morning with headaches, upper back pain, although the back pain has got much better this past week. Sometimes the headaches are very bad and stay that way for about 2 days, other times it is like my head is really heavy and when I ground right in the start I get more pain in the top of my head. The headaches are there constantly each and every day.

: I am so tired all the time, needing to rest each day. I teach dancing and normally feel very fit.......the other day I did a one song warm up for my Tiny Tots classes which wasn't a hard warm up by any means and after it I felt like I had run for miles!! I feel about 65 years old, unusual for me when even up to the end of last year I was still performing full on shows on the stage.

: I feel like my immune system must be really low and at times my breathing is quite heavy and laboured. (Have to stop smoking, but can't seem to do it with my life in turmoil)
: I have sort of been pre occupied with researching alternative health sites trying to find solutions and have not been reading as much as I should have in my current lesson. I think I will have to surrender this to goddess when I finish this post.

Yes... and also realize that if you surrender something a dozen times and Goddess does not take it, it may be that the stuff is a gift from Her... a message to be deciphered and acted on. Active surrender, surrendering to acting as Goddess directs.

Usually, we try to surrender stuff without looking for reasons that would only feed the ego, and slow the process... but if that does not work then you have to meditate on the meaning or higher purpose of what Is.

: I don't know if all this is to do with the stress I have had these past months or whether it could be to do with becoming more aware and manifesting into physical symptoms.
: I do suffer headaches but not where I wake up with it every day and still feel pain when I go to bed each night. I have been surrendering to the pain but it is sticking with me, I feel so drained.

When I get headaches like that, I go to a chiropractor. K likes a straight spine!

: Is it possible that it could be related to becoming more open to energy? I am very reluctant to go to the doctors as I have gone that road many times before and they never find anything wrong.

I understand... however, I do know of one case where someone assumed heart pains were from K. and died of a heart attack shortly afterwards.

"Trust to Allah, but tie up the camels."
Conventional and spiritual healing both have their place, and it would be negligent of me to not tell you to go to a doctor and make sure the symptoms are non physical.

: As far as my progress with the course, I have been grounding now for 72 days, still counting each day, I feel a sense of achievement if I do I think............I am still not feeling any more than nice tingles all over my back. Usually when I lay down it starts and of course I feel it during my grounding.

That is a positive sign.

: I have been trying the past few days to imagine my DB and have a conversation with him as suggested, I found it hard in the start and couldnt get a clear picture in my mind. I finally got a body, a really hot body! But I cannot get a face. It's just a blur around the face,

That is pretty normal. Don't worry about it.

: I have not been happy in my business for a few years now and I feel after beginning this course that a change is near. It's almost like what I have known I needed to do for some time is screaming out at me now. More problems all the time with my studio, dealing with unreasonable mothers of students, things seem to be happening to stress me even more, is this coming from goddess, that she is sending me more to deal with to get me that frustrated that I do change my direction?

Could well be! Talk to your DB about it... for me, when that happens usually it is a sign that I am too attached to the work, and usually some surrender and a vacation puts things right again. Goddess gives it back, better... but sometimes it does mean that you are being forced to make some external changes.

: That is another thing thats been preoccupying me, researching what I can do to change my career to be able to move on and find contentment and some peace in my life.

: I apologise for the length of this post

No worries!

: but hopefully I can get some thoughts on whether the way I am feeling could be attributed to K awakening.

I dunno, for me Goddess is All so everything is related to awakening! I would say, that awakening would make your body-mind more persistent in the signals it is sending... Surrender is the imperative of K and you go easily or get beat up by your own resistance.

However, it is not my place to advise you what to do with your career. You have to make your own decisions about that.

Blessings!

: With Kindest Regards to all.
: Shari

Sabrina · Dec 03, 2002, 02:07:30 AM

Hello everybody,

My sympathies to you, Shari. I really hope you start feeling better soon. I myself have been having similar symptoms, but in my case I have chronic health problems so I went to the doctor straight away and got medications. Coincidentally I also went to see a chiropractor this week too!! I'm hoping it will help. So my question to the group is this; if this time of year is hard on people of European ancestry, when does it start getting better? I myself have the tendency to feel pretty miserable whenever it's not spring or summer. I'm hoping at some point in my future to move to the southern hemisphere, but that's probably a long ways off. I honestly wonder sometimes why people in the northern hemisphere don't hibernate!!Seems like the logical solution to seasonal affective disorder to me. Ah, well, only five more months of winter to go.

Sabrina

Shari · Dec 03, 2002, 07:25:11 AM

Thankyou for the reply Mystress Angelique,
I will do the things you suggest and hopefully shortly I will start getting back to normal. I do have another question for you though..........You say I need to check the cords attached to me by my partner, I am unsure how to do that, I have read only a little on cords in a spiritual book a while ago but do not really know how to do this, thanks ahead for your answer.
Thanks Sabrina also for your post, I am sorry to hear that you are suffering as well with any discomforts and health problems, maybe it is the time of year as Mystress says, although we are into Summer weather here in Australia which is great, and I normally feel bright and full of life. Anyway, hopefully things will pick up shortly after I get started on Mystress's suggestions.
Kindest Regards
Shari

Mystress · Dec 04, 2002, 12:28:51 PM

I checked my email archives, since I know I have written about aka cords before... I think there are even previous posts about them in the tea room archives. Here ya go!

There are several ways to disconnect cords, and it is best to be clear in your intention, not to cut cords that represent win/win relationships that serve your highest good. In the ritual I was taught in basic Huna, you first ask to be shown the beneficial cords, and send love, gratitude and blessings down these cords. Then ask to be shown ones that do not serve, and cut them. This method is nice, simple... but those who are determined, will, as you say, show up in your life again, or simply connect new cords as often as they are cut.
Since then, I have learned/devised several other methods. My favorite is to charge myself with energy from the Earth- Shakti, and explode that energy down the negative cords with the intent that it manifest on the other end as whatever that person needs, that they think they need to get from me... and that the energy goes down the cords like a lit fuse, burning up the cords as it goes. Essentially, this means that the recipient's higher self or unconscious will use the energy as it thinks best. You do not need to know what it manifests as.
The other method I got from Morganna, and it is to deal with persistent bottomless pit vampires who reconnect the cords no matter how many times you cut them, or how much of what kind of energy you send. This technique is to leave the cords as they are, but reverse the flow and take back only your *own* energy that they stole from you. She described it as sipping on the cords like a drinking straw. Because you are only taking your own energy back, you are not going to get junk from them. When the vampires are no longer getting fed-rewarded by the cords, they will detach them from you themselves, like a leech dropping off.
I find it best to do the simpler cord cutting rituals several days in a row.. and any negative cords that have been reconnected in spite of your generosity.. leave them attached, and draw on them several times a day until the vampires give up and detach.

: Thankyou for the reply Mystress Angelique,
: I will do the things you suggest and hopefully shortly I will start getting back to normal. I do have another question for you though..........You say I need to check the cords attached to me by my partner, I am unsure how to do that, I have read only a little on cords in a spiritual book a while ago but do not really know how to do this, thanks ahead for your answer.
: Thanks Sabrina also for your post, I am sorry to hear that you are suffering as well with any discomforts and health problems, maybe it is the time of year as Mystress says, although we are into Summer weather here in Australia which is great, and I normally feel bright and full of life. Anyway, hopefully things will pick up shortly after I get started on Mystress's suggestions.
: Kindest Regards
: Shari

Mystress · Dec 04, 2002, 12:35:42 PM

Additionally... at the bottom of this page you will find a link to the K-list archives all about aka cords. I'm leaving my post about them as well, just for somebody's future reference.

: I checked my email archives, since I know I have written about aka cords before... I think there are even previous posts about them in the tea room archives. Here ya go!

:
: There are several ways to disconnect cords, and it is best to be clear in your intention, not to cut cords that represent win/win relationships that serve your highest good. In the ritual I was taught in basic Huna, you first ask to be shown the beneficial cords, and send love, gratitude and blessings down these cords. Then ask to be shown ones that do not serve, and cut them. This method is nice, simple... but those who are determined, will, as you say, show up in your life again, or simply connect new cords as often as they are cut.

: Since then, I have learned/devised several other methods. My favorite is to charge myself with energy from the Earth- Shakti, and explode that energy down the negative cords with the intent that it manifest on the other end as whatever that person needs, that they think they need to get from me... and that the energy goes down the cords like a lit fuse, burning up the cords as it goes. Essentially, this means that the recipient's higher self or unconscious will use the energy as it thinks best. You do not need to know what it manifests as.

: The other method I got from Morganna, and it is to deal with persistent bottomless pit vampires who reconnect the cords no matter how many times you cut them, or how much of what kind of energy you send. This technique is to leave the cords as they are, but reverse the flow and take back only your *own* energy that they stole from you. She described it as sipping on the cords like a drinking straw. Because you are only taking your own energy back, you are not going to get junk from them. When the vampires are no longer getting fed-rewarded by the cords, they will detach them from you themselves, like a leech dropping off.

: I find it best to do the simpler cord cutting rituals several days in a row.. and any negative cords that have been reconnected in spite of your generosity.. leave them attached, and draw on them several times a day until the vampires give up and detach.
:

http://www.kundalini-gateway.org/klist/k2000b/k20a05450.html">Gateway email on cords and how to snip them.