Other aspects of self

[Keith]

I'm just curious, if one is not close or in contact with their heart voice, should they stay on that lesson or move on? Or perhaps my whole concept of the heart voice is twisted in my mind... I'm expecting an actual voice that is not contingent on my "making" it talk.
  I don't know if any other members can't or have trouble talking with their heart voice or Divine beloved... but if anyone has gone through this sort of thing I would love to hear  your story!
  I'm probably just not learning to use my mind differently yet... I probably can't listen to my voice because my mind never has and simply does not know how to yet. (pauses to stretch my mind... *knocks gently on my head and whispers, "Hey you... open up! Don't be afraid!") Hmm... but then again, all in due time right?

Thanks for listening,
  Keith

[Wings]

*purrrrrrrrrrrrs*   Hey, you!  ;0)  I know we spoke already, but I feel like poofing on up here, anyways. :0)

Coz I think I'm familiar with what'cher talkin' about.

Yeahhhh, that's kinda what happens with us intellectual types. . .  
    We reach inside to knock on the doors of our supposed spirituality, and find our mind ready to create...  "Great!" we think- - but then it starts to become a hindrance.

We don't WANT our mind to create - -we want something to be 'real!'.  Look at all the other lovely people having kryias or electroshock therapy or hearing voices or seeing guides or angels or entities, or running through the gamut of 'small miracles'. . .

Then we think- -what we *want* is something to work without our having to tweak it into the process.  We're *looking* for something to be able to surrender to, that will keep us juuuuust off balance enough to believe in it without pestering ourselves with our own beautiful over-analyses.

We hear people gently tell us to get out of our own ways, we chastise ourselves (because we can actually wrap our mind into a spiral and watch ourselves pestering ourselves, and can percieve the logic of it quite nicely!)..... but it doesn't make any sense on the experiential level, and that just kinda tends to miff us.

We're looking for an experience that's not self-perpetuated.  *purrs*

:0)  Oh, well.  That's me, rambling.  *smiles*  I have found that my perceptions about the whole thing are undergoing erosion.  ;0)  my heartvoice is nearly never a real 'voice' in my head or ears...  just a feeling.  It usual speaks to me through my fingers. .*chuckles*

Heart voice doesn't have to be an actual voice, mon'....  It can be feelings, sensations- -the way your thoughts turn... blah. .blah. .blah. .

and I have to go, right now!!  But you know what- ? ) we talk lots anywho, so I'll just catch you later. .bwahahaha.

Ummm. .*purrs*
*chirrups*

a few of my favourite things- -? ;0)
 Wings~

[Keith]

Helllloooooo there my friend.

Ya know what? You are right... Geuss we have what we have. I was looking to be content with a real voice... I need to look at the smaller things, and realize there's plenty in just that.

That whole wrapping our mind in a spiral is quite a good description... huh (my mind is simply buzzing... nothing really coming back yet heh heh) Oh well, geuss it's really a good thing. So friend, I will talk to you later also! Ta ta...

Keef

[Mystress]

: I'm just curious, if one is not close or in contact with their heart voice, should they stay on that lesson or move on?

Bookmark it, and move on. It may be that one of the later lessons will spark things for you.

:Or perhaps my whole concept of the heart voice is twisted in my mind... I'm expecting an actual voice that is not contingent on my "making" it talk.
:    I don't know if any other members can't or have trouble talking with their heart voice or Divine beloved... but if anyone has gone through this sort of thing I would love to hear  your story!
:    I'm probably just not learning to use my mind differently yet... I probably can't listen to my voice because my mind never has and simply does not know how to yet. (pauses to stretch my mind... *knocks gently on my head and whispers, "Hey you... open up! Don't be afraid!") Hmm... but then again, all in due time right?

Yes... be gentle with yourself, Keith... Appreciate the experiences you do have and do not be critical of yourself, if your process is not like other people's.

 The way you speak of knocking on your own head, and the insights you gained from the chat, point to there being a splintered part of your ego that you repressed, which is blocked to the experience of love. Blocked and blocking it.

  It may be that you will need to love that part of yourself into integration before your heart can open fully and speak. I don't want to put limits on your experience, but it makes some sense that when you shut off the hatred, hid it in the black hole, you lost the love too. That tends to be how things work. You repressed this part of yourself and silenced your heart.
 You can send love, through time and heal the past. Simply remember that person, and give love and gratitude to all the memories. Surrender all the stress points and tension that appears in your body, in response to the memories. Forgive everything. Forgive yourself. Don't try to rush this process, just be very gentle and casual about it. Just open to allowing healing, and Goddess will carry you along.
  You are loved.

  Blessings...

: Thanks for listening,
:    Keith