Might be in Trouble, Might not be

[TheFifth]

Think I’m in place. All that hardship made me stronger, wiser. The counseling work is the perfect pipeline for food but also for learning and growing. It really does feed the heart.

It’s amazing though how when things are in place, everything runs perfectly. I think even with talents, they really are gifts and when things are in place, they boggle the mind but they’re so effortless.

[TheFifth]

Incoming “dread” vibes, seems maybe residue from the healing work. But, interestingly, grounding seems to be effective now so it counteracts it. Grounding therefore seems effective granted I’m fed with the other energies I need.

Being properly fed, I realize I’m incredibly astute to people and vibes around me. I can read a person and what they’re about from practically a mile away. I’m definitely turning out to be more psychically aware than I realized; won’t get fixated on it but it is cool to be aware on those levels as a “new normal.”

[Mystress]

Incoming “dread” vibes, seems maybe residue from the healing work. But, interestingly, grounding seems to be effective now so it counteracts it. Grounding therefore seems effective granted I’m fed with the other energies I need.

  Importance of a balanced diet eh? Like how the body needs magnesium to be able to utilize calcium, or how the body needs B12 to be able to use iron to make new blood cells.  All the iron supplements didn't make a dent in my anaemia until I started getting B12 injections too.  We are not like koala bears, made to eat only one food.  The more variety, the better off we are.

   Summary:

  One-on-one counselling snacks: Feeds the heart, fulfillment is better than happiness.  Improves your place in the world, "How to make friends and influence people" is grounding in the here and now, dealing with what is on the plate in front of you. Taking care of the Maslow physical base needs for mental health, social support and engagement with ease you have never known before.  Keeps you in the moment, helpful for the ascended to make connections that help stay anchor in linear time.  Plus it pays the rent eh? There is no issue with charging to help people, so long as you are also available pro-bono when called.

  Mass feeding: mass energy and karma bonus points that help you stay ascended and expanding. No human will pay you for snacking on Brazil's covid grief  but servants of Goddess get paid in things money cannot buy.  Your life experience is singular and amazing. You experience things most people could never imagine or dream of, magic sparking from your fingertips like something out of fantasy fiction except it is the synchronicities that provide the result, as if part of a disguise.

  Artistic outlet is essential as water, for detox and for finding a good outlet (pissing out lol no.) for the massive amounts of raw Vajra creative energy of the universe that is a byproduct of the Alchemy before it can latch onto a stray thought or fear and give bad accidental manifestations. 
  The results can be sold so long as monetization is not the primary motive or creative influence. The Must must have Her way, first. The art is in the doing. Alternatively, a balance of personal and professional.

  Grounding keeps you straight, free from fear and connected to the Planet Mind that shaped you to be as you are.  What I have been seeing, and I assumed you knew so I have not mentioned it... with the big mass feedings, stadiums and such, a huge percentage of the vajra is going to the Earth, vortex guide directs it there. You are only getting as much as you can handle. 

  Earth wants that, needs it. Surprises me, I think of Her as needing nothing but She put vamp training top of my things to do list and the mass, quantum work is clearly the why of it.  Didn't seem to mind when I gave up doing outreach and focused on the vamps of FST. Everytime one of you starts mass feeding it feels like She hugs my shoulders appreciatively. So odd to feel Her so human.

 

[TheFifth]

Just an observation but the fleeting psychosis-like thoughts and impressions seem to exist for me on the border between resistance and surrender. They have this interesting tasty character to them and if I can just relax into them they become sort of like candy. This seems corroborated by migraine-like headache yesterday which usually for me comes at the end of a logjam.

[TheFifth]

It's difficult to tell sometimes what is my body and its seemingly relentless cascade of inflammation and what is kundalini or resistance-related. Asked for help because carrying on was just starting to feel almost impossible and came across licorice root which gave me the biggest "yes" from my body of anything I've tried before.

[Mystress]

Just an observation but the fleeting psychosis-like thoughts and impressions seem to exist for me on the border between resistance and surrender. They have this interesting tasty character to them and if I can just relax into them they become sort of like candy.

   Keeps surprising me when the vampire journey is so like the Shaman path. Regular awakened folks don't get that fear of insanity fear of death bzzz shiver fear ecstasy pleasure. The frisson of fear that tingles the skin purrrr piquant hot sauce, sweet and spicy and icy all at once or in layers.  For a good time, send it into the pearl of ascension.

  Kinky folks, roller coaster fans, horror movie aficionados know that fear can be fun. Can make you feel more alive, shot of adrenaline. 

  If Goddess wanted you crazy, you would be crazy. If She wanted you dead, same. Surrender those fears.

  Ya know, mindfulness is not about obsessively worrying about your health and sanity.

  I have been so empathic for so long that I often do not pay much attention to my emotions. Might not even be mine... flows along faster without resistance and ignoring them is sometimes quite efficient. I get odd aches and pains, stomach upset... is it even mine? Might not be, let it go.

  This morning at checkin, dreamwalker reported what he thought might be a pinched nerve. As he was trying to describe the exact spot behind his ear where he felt it, I got the movie and started talking about how the place on my skull where the surgeons removed a disc of bone the size of a loonie and glued it back in, in 2009 has been aching with pressure from my glasses, and weather changes lately. His guide confirmed, the pain he was feeling was actually mine... for me it is a dull ache.  I had thought to ask him about it, accidentally passed it to him with that thought. Felt his fingertip tracing the circle of bone scar from the inside as if smoothing clay. Cool. I looked at the pain he reported in his shoulder, it melted into something like warm golden honey at my slighted touch. Ghost pain, not his.

   I spent a weekend in someone else's catatonic state, once. Was interesting, such a deep apathy that moving at all seems pointless. The worried look in druid's eyes brought me back, I burned through it in a day once I remembered it wasn't mine. It had taken the owner six months in an institution.  The essence of it was self pity. meh.

  One guy kept accidentally shipping me his depression. That stuff was devastating, total motivation killer not even enough to want to fix it. I lost days... he is a good guy and made it up to me though. Part of the job sometimes.

   So you see what I am getting at?  You have bits and pieces of other people, a lot of other people flowing through you at different times, some of that will give, mostly fleeting impressions unless you obsess about it, fearing for your sanity. Then you attach and make it yours and it gums up the works.

Sit beside the river, watch it float by. Yours, not yours? All goes down river.



 

   

[TheFifth]

Yeah it's different everyday, digestive issues one day, cloudy head another, depression another. Then my patterns of wanting to ascribe meaning to everything come up. This makes sense. Mindfulness muscles should be priority for a while.

[TheFifth]

I remember thinking a while back the psychosis thing was a phase of sorts but I think it is just a variety of food. It's more the feeling of going insane than insanity itself because I think psychosis is submersion in it without a line back to shore. But yeah, the feelings/thoughts have a silly candy-like component right before they transmute.

I was thinking last night, reflecting on some rather bitter, mean people in my life and realizing how tasty the nastiness is, what could be more enlightening than taking that energy and turning it into invigorating food?

[TheFifth]

Interesting corroboration earlier that some of the intense impressions and visions I was having weren't all just craziness. A friend of mine is experiencing relationship difficulties and somehow for a week or two I just knew, and kept having thoughts about the boyfriend and just that tense feeling that "something is going on" but I thought it was paranoid thoughts. In hindsight it almost feels like I was looking at the circuit board of the dynamic going on with them right now, seeing and palpably feeling his doubts, his pulling away. Seems to happen more when I'm in their presence.

Feels like I can subtly sense the entire pattern. Figure if I can perceive this whole thing and it is so persistent in my consciousness it's probably a feeding invitation.

[Gopi]

TheFifth wrote: "Seems to happen more when I'm in their presence.
Feels like I can subtly sense the entire pattern. "
I have experienced this in varying degrees.
Sometimes it is just intuition and vampire brain working at a speed/capacity that feels like magic.
As your own energy channel becomes more 'clear' (meaning less karma held in body), you become very sensitive to everything around you.
So even if someone does not speak, you can sense their mood and energy.

Most of us have five senses but usually one or two of the senses are dominant.
Majority of the people are vision oriented and it structures how they 'view' and relate to the world.
I am more of a touch and smell dominant person meaning I can discern a lot by touching another person.
This is also why I consider myself a naturally gifted massage therapist (and been told by others who received massages from me) - I close my eyes and 'see' through my hands.
I do not get 'visions' like many people do but I can feel very subtle things that are difficult to explain to the rational mind.
In the past, I have walked past trees in full bloom and experienced 'tiny tree orgasms' (for lack of a better phrase).

Sometimes I get information download about someone's past trauma, family history, and ancestry (when it is appropriate and required for healing).
This means when I encounter a specific incident with a person, I also get a blueprint understanding of why they behave the way do.
All of this happens without conscious effort.
I requested my guides to create a filter so that I don't get overwhelmed.
I am only shown what is required and forget all details once the work is done - clean slate.
Sometimes Goddess will give insights for me once the work is done.
It is very important to maintain personal boundaries (do not project needs onto others) and energy hygiene (dump overload) while doing healing work.

Mystress taught me active learning for healing.
Get grounded, set aside your own thoughts and desires, and fully listen to the other person without trying to fix them.
All I need to do is ask 'Hello.. how are you today?' and the other person opens up to tell me what they need help with.
It still astounds me how effective this simple technique is - I don't need to ask any complex questions or figure out anything.
When you *really* listen to another person, they will most likely come to a place of understanding about their issues on their own without much input from you.
Many times, I have just been a witness listening to them and people figure out things on their own (and thank me for it!!  )

[Mystress]

Best laid plans, eh? FST, not healer training, inward focus... and then along came vampires.

So it goes.

Welcome to my world, lol. You have both had sessions with me and all these tearoom posts. What is my score for accuracy eh? Laying out the whole pattern and how to resolve, sometimes based on very little information, and as if I am answering questions you had not yet thought to ask...  hard for me to even recall how far back it goes. Realizing my mom was insane at age 8... my siblings didn't figure it out until she was in her late 80's... they were so shocked. I was shaking my head wondering how they missed the memo.

  Generally yes, if Goddess is showing you the menu then it is snackable.  Occasionally the information may be for your own insights, especially when dealing with  car salesmen etc, ... insights on how to relate to difficult or adversarial people. Sometimes you get info to keep to yourself until the moment is right.  Like the stories where a letter is kept by a lawyer to be delivered at a certain date in the future, or after a specific event like a funeral.

  I had one of those. A friend asked me to heal his wife who was ill with brain cancer.  Right away I got a sense I could do little but help with pain because the death was chosen, on an unconscious level, and why. She was recently retired and wanted to set him free to pursue interests they did not share. I said nothing of this to either of them. About five years after she died, he was talking suicidal. Planning to abandon his bodybuilder health practices and slowly drink himself to death. Time to deliver the post dated message. He could feel that it was true, and he had to live fully or it would invalidate her sacrifice.

[Gopi]

Typo in my previous post: active *listening* not learning.

Duu wrote: "Thus reactivating the DNA coding at its important junctions again sending signals to build a more wholesome nervous system and brain. Simply as method to assure better survival for what would be otherwise a failed unit.
Spiritual path is very tough I think partly because its a body transformation, not just a psychological transformation, like shift in ideas or beliefs."
Good to hear from you Duu.
This is a fascinating idea indeed.
I want to add that evolutionary intelligence is not the same as logical knowledge.
Concerns like 'getting it right' and 'body/mind split' are overwhelming problems only for the rational mind and individual sense of self.
I can understand some aspects of what you mean by 'spiritual path is tough' but I also think it is the most natural thing if you trust the process instead of trying to control it.
Fish gotta swim; birds gotta fly; people gotta evolve.
If I ask you to sit down and get up, you can do it easily.
If I ask you to explain how you are using the muscles in your body while you are sitting down and getting up, then it becomes very difficult.

When you are connected through love, you can call upon the strengths and wisdom of your ancestors because it is in your DNA.
I don't mean seances, channeling, hearing voices, and seeing visions kind of knowledge. But more like Neo learning kung-fu from program uploads in the matrix kind of stuff.
Not easy to explain to myself.

I agree with you that spiritual growth is a bodily process.
I use the word transmutation (change in fundamental property e.g. lead to gold) and not transformation (change in form e.g. gold plated silver).
But the idea that spiritual path *has* to be tough is a limiting belief and most likely comes from cultures that have suffered terrible losses as a coping mechanism.
It can also be a clever ego trick for claiming special-ness (the more you suffer, the holier you are).
Spirituality is not all sunshine and hugs but at the same time it is not about torturing yourself your entire life so you can win some prize at the finishing line.
I don't believe in that kind of spirituality.
Acts of love and pleasure serve Goddess.

TheFifth wrote: "One thing I am curious about if if I’m automatically pulling from large collectives, why must I feed consciously on individuals? Might have to do with being in alignment with myself in some way."

Mystress wrote: "My tentative conclusion is it is different food, calls for a balanced diet. The personal work touches the heart in a way the anonymous and automatic does not.  We are social animals."
When I visited Mystress in Vancouver, I kept trying to eat the food druid made for Mystress even though druid made me delicious food.
I did not want any of the other delicious snacks but I really liked the manduka honey that druid bought for Mystress.
When something is made with love, it nourishes your body, mind, and soul.
Tune in to your gut and see how it responds to these.
(1) Eating fast food prepared by underpaid and over-worked employees
(2) Leftovers from a meal prepared by a loved one
(3) A simple dinner you made with vegetables you grew in your garden
(4) A fancy meal in a nice restaurant shared with a friend
(5) A bowl of soup your neighbor made for you when you are sick

All of the above is food but they nourish you in different ways.
Intentionality matters a lot.
That's why magic rituals emphasize thought, word, and action.
When someone does something intentionally, they are manifesting reality.
There is trust involved when people intentionally and lovingly do things for each other.
That kind of trust is sacred and does not happen with automatic mass feeding.

Intentional feeding is necessary especially in capitalist societies.
Philosophers and research scholars have pointed out that alienation is a direct effect of capitalist exploitation that most people cannot escape.
People experience alienation as:

• “…negative thoughts that oppose your best interests and diminish your self esteem”
• “…hostile, judgmental thoughts also warn you about other people and create a negative, pessimistic picture”
• “…destructive internalized thoughts lead to a sense of alienation â€" a feeling of being removed from ourselves and distant from those we love.”

Source: Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice by Robert W. Firestone, Lisa Firestone, and Joyce Catlett

Namaste!
Gopi

[TheFifth]

The conscious individualized feeding does seem to feed the heart quite a lot and has probably contributed to my spiritual growth more than anything else.  The intentionality of it seems integral. Been having quite a growth spurt of the heart lately. Very grateful.

[TheFifth]

Had a death in the family recently, felt the presence of angels last night discussing the person in question with a loved one. Felt like I was overshadowed briefly, animatedly, energetically telling her, it's all going to be okay. Very, very peaceful to know. Such deep honor and respect for this person; felt like she was there, listening to our conversation, like it all needed to happen. So much depth, peace, serenity, gratitude around such events.

[Mystress]

Typo in my previous post: active *listening* not learning.

Duu wrote: "Thus reactivating the DNA coding at its important junctions again sending signals to build a more wholesome nervous system and brain. Simply as method to assure better survival for what would be otherwise a failed unit.
Spiritual path is very tough I think partly because its a body transformation, not just a psychological transformation, like shift in ideas or beliefs."

Good to hear from you Duu.
This is a fascinating idea indeed.
I want to add that evolutionary intelligence is not the same as logical knowledge.

  I call what we do, "Selfless listening." Active listening is defined a bit differently and not so miraculous especially when practiced by one who is ascended, and quantum.

  People think DNA is set at conception and that's it but there is so much more. The DNA for how the body responds to stress, is set by childhood experiences and massively difficult to change later except by time travel. There is an FST lesson about how Kundalini can affect DNA.

  When you fully set your own interests aside to really listen to someone, instead of thinking of what to say when it is your turn to speak, something awesome happens.  It is experienced as being unconditionally loved and people will tell you anything. Their heart opens and the contents pours out.

  I do it at the start of sessions, at the same time asking Goddess within them, why She brought them to me and She uses their words to tell me, like there are two conversations happening at the same time. Everything they say, has dual meanings.  Opening to the download of the pattern info.

  Grokking. "Stranger in a Strange Land" is on the recommended reading list for FST.. if there was one. When the man from mars finally has his first kiss, she faints. The other women get curious and they faint too. When the elder narrator tries to get the women to explain why they point to his single minded focus. Most people's intimacy is limited by the noise in their head but when he kissed them, it was with his whole attention. Nothing else going on but fully experiencing the kiss. Grokking is a martian word that isn't translatable but it means drink, absorb, know and understand fully, embrace, love... Cool book, a little dated but still worth reading. 

  For many years I was puzzled by people saying they had felt my energy, long before they ever met or heard of me.  Sigmund first felt me, I would have been a baby. dreamwalker and I are about the same age and he had many memories of me appearing in visions that started when he was seven, he thought I was not real because I did not age.  Imagine his surprise to see my photo. One day he told me about a very traumatic event in his life and the next time he told the story it was a difficult yet inspiring memory because it included a vision, my presence encouraging him, and feeling so loved.

  It was not that his memories had changed... his past, had changed.

Loneliness, feeling alone is a major component in the formation of post traumatic stress. When someone who has trauma, shares the memory with one who is ascended, quantum, selflessly listening and telepathic enough to get the movie as the memories are being told, is there with them. Quantum navigation, you go where you focus on. To the moment when the trauma memory was being formed, to that time and place to be with them in that moment... and the trauma does not form because of the support they feel. Not alone. Instead there is a sense of wonder, of being touched by magic.  The DNA does not get the stress buttons switched on.

  The depression/immune system resolution is the same gig in a different form. Only ascended people and genuine shamans can do it because it requires walking into the shadow aspect of someone's consciousness to call out the denizens that abide there. Ascended, quantum, really can go anywhere and any when.  Un-ascended people cannot do it, have tried to teach but they just get imagination bs, where the results of the quantum are absolutely consistent. (Thus, not sharing the details here.)  It is also just about the only tech that is impossible to DIY, the parts that are set against, do not co-operate with the one who created them.

  In that work it is their own higher self that does the time travel, offering a gift of wisdom and energy to the past self in the moment before the splinter is created, motivating a different decision in the past so the splintering does not happen. The splinters disappear, looking very happy. Everything is love, even self created demons.

  I feel it is cleaner, because the healer is not inserted into the past of the recipient. The dysfunctions the splinters were causing simply disappear as if they never existed except for the memories of how bad things used to be. There is a difference to how the past is affected, as shown by the changes in memory. 

Gopi wrote:  Concerns like 'getting it right' and 'body/mind split' are overwhelming problems only for the rational mind and individual sense of self.
I can understand some aspects of what you mean by 'spiritual path is tough' but I also think it is the most natural thing if you trust the process instead of trying to control it.
Fish gotta swim; birds gotta fly; people gotta evolve.
If I ask you to sit down and get up, you can do it easily.
If I ask you to explain how you are using the muscles in your body while you are sitting down and getting up, then it becomes very difficult.

   Well... FST Lineage fellas are mixing it up. Teachable moment lol. Sorry to hijack your blog, TF.

  For sure, the road back to Her is embedded in our DNA... but the idea that results in an easy is not validated as the reality of what people experience. It is the spirit perspective not the human reality.

   So recently I mentioned to WZ, that from the perspective of mind and body, (but mostly mind) spirit can seem to be a gaping anus.

  Do you remember that exercise where you take a few steps behind yourself until your normal body and mind appear to be a well loved toy you want to play with? It is a delightful and powerful experience to be your Divine self in that way, great for self-healing.

  Looking at it another way, if someone described you as their best loved toy to mess with... unless you love them and are really submissive you would probably feel massively disrespected and think that person is a totally narcissistic gaping anus.

   So it is, when I write from Witness state I set the message aside and return to it later to humanize and soften it so the directness is not misunderstood as anger. To not be the gaping anus.

  Duu, for a long time you have had a tendency to get knocked out of body and speak from spirit and how that turns you gaping is something you have worked on with great success and it shows in this post.  It is grounded and compassionate.

  Gopi, on the other hand... you are speaking of the ideals of spirit with little compassion for how for most people, the ego is all they know of themselves. 

  You grew up in Guru culture where these ideas were all around you. Duu grew up under the thumb of some of the most brutal repressive communism the world has ever known.  His childhood makes Orwell's "1984" look peaceful and abundant. Speaking only from the values of spirit, you dismiss your own struggle too. 

  That whole, spiritual person preaching from the crown chakra aloof thing ... it really does not look good on anyone. Honour your own struggles instead of dismissing them as error. It is another layer of learning to love yourself better.

  You are quantum, visit your past depressed suicidal self and tell him all he has to do is stop acting from his ego and see if he wants to punch you in the face. I know you do not have to, you already know that was not what he needed. Go hug him instead, be a loving accepting compassionate presence for your past self.


Not easy to explain to myself.

I agree with you that spiritual growth is a bodily process.
 
  Good to know you are sorting it for yourself and not preaching.
  FST is a body-first path so that is a given.

But the idea that spiritual path *has* to be tough is a limiting belief and most likely comes from cultures that have suffered terrible losses as a coping mechanism.

Yeah, that is a fantasy idea. People are surprised when someone who is seen as wealthy and successful, are found dead of suicide.  The attitude is changing with greater understanding of depression as an illness.  "He must be happy with everything he's got..." 
  [url ="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnJeMnzJOcw"]youtube Richard Cory song & lyrics[/url]

The full Jung quote is:
"There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own Soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”

or how about Marianne Williamson?
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

  Angels say "Fear not" because people shit their pants in terror, when faced with that, thinking they are going to die.

If above the gates of hell it says "Abandon all hope, Ye who enter here" then above the gates of FST it should say "NOT FOR NOTHING WILL THIS BE THE HARDEST THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE" and yet it is the easiest path; stay grounded and Goddess carries you.
   How hard was it for you, to learn to stay grounded. I know. (Hugs you) Don't invalidate that. Every part of the path led to here and now. 

[Gopi]

Mystress wrote: "For sure, the road back to Her is embedded in our DNA... but the idea that results in an easy is not validated as the reality of what people experience. It is the spirit perspective not the human reality.

Gopi, on the other hand... you are speaking of the ideals of spirit with little compassion for how for most people, the ego is all they know of themselves.

That whole, spiritual person preaching from the crown chakra aloof thing ... it really does not look good on anyone. Honour your own struggles instead of dismissing them as error. It is another layer of learning to love yourself better."


You are right Mystress.
Thank you for pointing it out.
I do have a tendency to dismiss my own struggles and achievements as trivial.
It is not a healthy habit for self esteem and I am working on changing that.
I can also sometimes be very militant about not allowing myself to feel weak, vulnerable, doubtful, angry, sad, depressed, or even just tired.
I start blaming myself for how I feel and then try to fix it by being hard on myself.
I am still learning how to balance between 'not wallowing in self pity' and 'allowing myself to feel things as they are'.
I still struggle to be compassionate with myself.
I sometimes get derailed by believing that experiencing doubts or frustrations means I am somehow 'failing' spiritually.
As a reaction, I rush to offer a fix (perfectionist control game) where none is needed.
And as you have pointed out, what is needed is unconditional love.
I need to practice talking from the heart.

@Duu - I am sorry if anything I said seemed dismissive of your experiences.
I projected my perfectionism onto you instead of owning up to my own struggles.
I still do experience bodily discomforts, doubts, disbelief, cynicism, and frustrations with my own K journey even though I understand that Goddess has it handled.
K-list mailing list and FST Tearoom have provided a sense of community for me when I felt very lonely, lost, and desperate.
I should be more kind to people here.

Namaste!
Gopi

[Duu]

Hi,
Gopi thank you, it's no problem. I just wrote the idea for The Fifth as I had felt it could be helpful.
As the years went on I discovered that words by themselves have little power to help people.
It's only if they are spoken from the deep place beyond that they have power. Then generally few words are needed.
Words are good yet usually the issues person deals with are personal and more complex then we realize. So the shakti fills out the gaps. Maybe in a direction we wouldn't think of.
If just words were enough to teach people the essential things we would have made it long time ago.

I feel that to support people on their spiritual path the mentioned selfless listening is necessary and natural part.
I feel that if I'm well grounded, connected to the source and just read someone's comment then my field is offering them support and holds them a bit. I feel that this is essential to people on spiritual path to be helped casually by others just like this.
Every person can do it and we offer that field to each other to provide support and orientation. I think it is the essence idea of tantra. Where we are all interconected and the path is possible only together, in inter penetrating union. Indeed best symbolised by a sexual act of two deities, equals.

Love,
Duu

[TheFifth]

Transitioning yet again to another level of lightness it seems. Wherever I am now, everything seems hyperlinked, I may be thinking of one thing only to have another person bring it up later. Too many instances of this to count, not sure if I'm just noticing it more or if it's really increasing.

I think I just let go further. I had this one-track mind for a while set on music, before that it was writing/academics. Now, basically nothing; feels great, blissful. It does seem that having given up the last (or nearly last) thing, there's a sort of re-orientation going on which will take care of itself, because whatever's next will be natural. Anyway, I feel nimble, looser, more open.

[TheFifth]

Workload going up lately and, of course, my body is struggling to keep up. I've noticed lately a facial rash that develops when the stress ramps up. Concerned about hitting a tipping point, but I'm a rock in a hard place, gotta work.

I can't help but wonder if this tendency toward fatigue and autoimmunity has something to do with the gender reversal and my general sense of disconnectedness from life for as long as I can remember. Feels like there's something there. I remember asking for mercy last night, just asking Goddess and guide, "Why is it so damn hard for me to deal?" Everything stresses this body--everything.

I don't know. On its face, seems to be a physical issue with physical origins. But I came into this world kicking and screaming, but also exhausted, my mother always told me. Something does tell me there's something there.

It's just hard to believe that this numbed out, disengaged, zombified existence was the plan for me. I mean, if it was, I can't change that. I feel like I've figured out the vampire bit. I don't know why the "functioning citizen" thing has always been so difficult, though. The idea of retreating to a simpler life in nature is so appealing, but alas, cannot afford to do this now. I'm sure I'm here for a reason, something here. Feels like there's some kind of really deep-seated metaphysical surgery to be done here, must be time. 

[TheFifth]

Better today with flower fragrance, transmutation heat and lots of water drinking. Feels it was good to turn over that rock.

[TheFifth]

Saintly feeling vibes lately. For some reason, homeless people in particular stand out to me a lot now, some deep part of me feels compelled to get as many sandwiches for as many of them as I can. It's such a deep and beautiful feeling I have not felt before, totally in the moment. Must be Goddess mind. Feels like a whole new level of sanity, seeing what's important and how important love and mindfulness of one another really is. I've had glimpses of the loving compassion before. This is different, enduring.

[TheFifth]

Much vajra energy the past few days, like the most ever. The writing and music have become immensely fun and otherworldly in quality. I hear the music, see the vision, but must meet halfway with my own work ethic. Feels like that idea of platonic forms, like it already exists and I'm somehow pulling it into reality. Can't get it out of my head, wants to be manifested. Wonderful outlet to have. Feels like this is the state or where the greats pull it from. Immense and a lot to handle, very grateful for it, though. Probably just processing a big chunk of something right now. But karma releasing in this matter is beyond euphoric and even the music itself, very ecstatic.

[Mystress]

TF Wrote: I've had glimpses of the loving compassion before. This is different, enduring.

That feeling of abiding in the Grace of Goddess. Amazing Grace, ecstatic and humbling. Beautiful.
 

[TheFifth]

Had a moment driving home today, watching the red sunset, all the smoke in the air and that feeling that whatever world was here before seems like it's going up in smoke, feeling completely at peace. Felt that the most important thing is peace and faith. The ability to look at the world right now with complete faith. Can't really strive to do it, but sometimes it just happens, and this is such a gift.

Some weird ear tones today, sense of selfhood has flickered in and out but overall, definitely feeling more and more clear as the weeks go on. The ear tones I figure are either further rising vibration or proto clairaudience

[TheFifth]

Just remembered that I woke up either today or yesterday with that R.E.M song in my head, It's the End of the World. There's more of a humorous tone to it and the "and I feel fine" part resonates a lot. Maybe some kind of "listening" training from my Guide and I just made the connection right now. Weird to think the things in my head at certain moments are more than happenstance.