New phase...

[Sean]

Hello,

Well I'm learning a lot. Everyday I go out and practice what I've been learning about how to be myself and think around everyone. Everyday I go out to crowded restaurants and just practice. I learn more every time.

I practice my mindfullness always. Getting better. Letting my feelings just feel, getting pretty good. Staying in the pillar and my heart much better.

I've been feeling my connections grow more and more since I've cried out almost all my past. And gave some things away. I've become more and more sensitive to things. Yet at the same time less to others.

I cant listen to anything else than Enya now. Otherwise its too much.

But I did have a good experiences today.

A car drove by me. I laughed. I didnt feel the driver. I laughed again. I laughed at all the other people on the street too.

The best was at the end of the day at a doctors office. I could feel the emotions of the place. It was getting to me. Then I remembered I forgot to just let my feelings feel what they want and to go were they want, thats what they do....

 Nothing....

I started to giggle and smile. I could not beleive it. For the first time in.... ever.... I was not at the mercy of the world around me. I felt..not-under-attack... unreal... Giggling and smiling away.

I drove back too, smiling and laughing. I felt like I had sunbeams comming out of my eyes.... But thats all diminished now that I'm back here again....damnit.

 I have a question though... Is everyone goddess and we draw from that too? Not them. I was going to do that but wanted to check it out. Find that and draw on it? Been working on that.

And why/how can some people radiate horribleness at such a large radius and strength? Is that all there karma built up? I feel like gaging most times.

Thanks

Sean

[Rebeckah]

:  I started to giggle and smile. I could not beleive it. For the first time in.... ever.... I was not at the mercy of the world around me. I felt..not-under-attack... unreal... Giggling and smiling away.

Sean, watching you blossom is so beautiful and awesome, I feel so honored that you are sharing yourself with me/us! You are truly beautiful.

Me, I've been trying to stuff as much food (protein mainly} as possible into myself. GRIN. My last clearing left my body so weak that I hired someone to go grocery shopping for me. So, after regaining my strength, and then some, I've made an appointment to go to a DR and do hydrogen peroxide therapy which is supposed to clear out all the stuff in my lungs. I had alot of fears about doing this, and asked my guidance over and over and over. Now it says yes, do it, whereas a month and two ago, it said not to do the therapy. So, I'm going now, even though I'm clearing out so much everyday on my own too. It'll be wonderfull to breathe clearly again. I feel like I'm getting my life back finally. But, alas, I have an ungodly amount of laundry to do now. giggle

love joy
Rebeckah

[Sean]

Hello Rebecka,

Thank you for reading my experiences. And thanks for sharing about yourself. Food has come up for me too now that I can hear/feel better. This is what happens..

"Ohh... a snack cake!"
"Dont eat it... there better stuff"
"But I'm hungry! And I can just eat it!"
"Look over there... theres a bannana, theres some vegtables, we need higher energy foods"
"Fine... I'll eat the cake later..."

Heh. Thing is I can cook up a mean bowl of cerial and not much else. So I end up getting everything together and just standing there...
"ok... now what?"

Now that's cool to hear that your going to get some things going on for you. I hope you feel great very soon through all of this. Sooner than that. Dont worry about the laundry, just keep doing what you do and feeling better. Once thats done. You can fly to Paris and buy a new wardrobe of skimpy expensive designer dresses with a poodle and go walking around Le arc de triumph saying "ooo la la" while eating a croisant. Que bon, no?

Take care, feel better,

Sean (not responsible for misspelled french words) Try not to pay attention the the english ones either..

: Sean, watching you blossom is so beautiful and awesome, I feel so honored that you are sharing yourself with me/us! You are truly beautiful.

: Me, I've been trying to stuff as much food (protein mainly} as possible into myself. GRIN. My last clearing left my body so weak that I hired someone to go grocery shopping for me. So, after regaining my strength, and then some, I've made an appointment to go to a DR and do hydrogen peroxide therapy which is supposed to clear out all the stuff in my lungs. I had alot of fears about doing this, and asked my guidance over and over and over. Now it says yes, do it, whereas a month and two ago, it said not to do the therapy. So, I'm going now, even though I'm clearing out so much everyday on my own too. It'll be wonderfull to breathe clearly again. I feel like I'm getting my life back finally. But, alas, I have an ungodly amount of laundry to do now. giggle

: love joy
: Rebeckah