Grounding and resistance

[Russ]

Hi everyone,

I have some questions about the grounding exercise. The first is, once the first 45 days of grounding 8 times a day are over, how many times a day do you ground? Is it just when you feel you need it, or is there a recommended minimum?

The other question is a bit more involved. I’m into the 6th week of the K course right now, but I’ve only been doing the grounding 8 times a day consistently for 10 days so far. I did, however, start doing the grounding 6 weeks ago, but within two days of doing it 8 times a day, my body basically relived a massive trauma I had about 12 years ago.The original trauma was a severe blockage of the root chakra, and manifested in bleeding, lower back seizures, and ultimately a pilonidal sinus that grew to the size of a fist.

Doing the grounding 8 times a day for the first couple of days was so intense, I felt like I was getting sick. I started to develop flu-like symptoms and them bam! My lower-back seized and stayed locked for a full week. I haven’t felt pain like that since that original trauma.

What was most intense were the emotions that came up. I experienced all of the fear, pain, anger, hatred, self-loathing, depression that I experienced then - very unpleasant! I also felt small and vulnerable - just like I did the first time. But what hurt me the most was the realization that I had done this to myself, that I had inflicted that original experience on myself.

I took a break from doing the grounding for a week or so, which I perhaps shouldn’t have done, but my body wasn’t having it, and I could barely sit. My back released after the next week’s lesson (I actually felt the Shakti seal break and my body respond with a beautiful feeling of relief) and I built up to do the grounding again slowly, so that now I’m doing it consistently 8 times a day.

From what I’ve been reading on Mystress’ site and in the TeaRoom, all of this seems pretty standard for K flushing out the chakras and sushumna.

The thing is, now every time I do the grounding I realize how much I resist the flow of energy through my body, how the tension is like a reflex. And I have to consciously let go, or I have short spasms or convulsions and then let go. But I can’t maintain that open state.

The tension is throughout my body , but it’s the most prominent on my left side, from the top of my head all the way through my body, to the big toe of my left foot, like a wedge separating 1/3 of my body from the rest. Sometimes I get a flash of it - it's like a blue line cutting off my left side from the totality of my body. When I do the grounding now the tension releases into the most amazing sensation of relief. I can breath deeper, more easily, my muscles and fascia relax, and sometimes I feel a slight shift in my jaw, facial bones and plates of my skull. My body stays open for a little while and then progressively tenses back up.

I’ve felt similar releases before, long ago when I smoked pot or took magic mushrooms (this was only after the initial trauma though), and sometimes when I’ve had body work sessions my body would convulse, then relax. Sometimes it has freaked the healers out, and I’ve never really gotten an explanation from them that resonates as to what it could be.

I quit doing substances a while ago, and don't go for much body work anymore, but I’ve never felt anything like what I experience with the grounding. I'm pretty sure it’s not a bad thing, but I’m so curious to know what this blockage is, and if it is possible to ultimately release it completely.

I have the suspicion it is related to an aspect of my spirituality, like I’m denying something or resisting something (I’m definitely resisting, but I’m not sure exactly what). Is this something karmic? Is it the ego that’s holding on so tight?

Is there a way to find out?

Any input would be greatly appreciated. A while back I gave up trying to figure out what it could be and just decided to live with the tension, but ever since I started this course and doing the grounding meditation (and after that initial massive clearing in my root chakra), it comes up 8 times a day, every day, so I thought I’d ask

[Mystress]

The first is, once the first 45 days of grounding 8 times a day are over, how many times a day do you ground? Is it just when you feel you need it, or is there a recommended minimum?

  8x45 days is how long it takes the average person to establish a new habit. Once the habit is established, its easier to persist. Keep doing it. The goal is to learn to make it permanent, to be grounded, all the time. Grounding is a type of self-shaktipat. Sure it will trigger some karma, but its also a natural state of surrender so its easier to let go whats been triggered. Letting go of what ungrounds you, is clearing karma.

  I do not ground 8x a day anymore because 99% of the time I am already grounded. The 1% of the time something ungrounds me, surrender and grounding, flow autopilot. 

what hurt me the most was the realization that I had done this to myself, that I had inflicted that original experience on myself.

  That is a wonderful insight, because it is empowering. No victims. You are God of your own life and you did a thing.  You can get mad at yourself, or you can look deeper and examine what was driving you. People do not do anything without a reason, a purpose no matter how hidden or unconscious the reward may be. When things go sideways, it is often because of a decision that is based on fear. 

  I don't teach much about forgiveness, I feel it is more empowering for people to look for perfection, in what Is than be validating hurt and blame. The best place to aim forgiveness, is at yourself.

  Every time you ground, another layer is brought up to be let go. Keep wearing away at it.

  When I see a body cut in two like you describe, most often it represents some part of oneself that has been rejected and denied.  Kundalini has been known to start up in the left big toe, left side represents unconscious mind, spirit.

   So I ask, are you *really* ready to turn your life over to the will of your soul?

   Some gentle hatha yoga stretching to release the tension, might give insights.