Surrendering myself

[Nadja]

Dear Great Spirit,
I offer you my heart, my Soul and what I thought to be at all.

[Mystress]

  Be cool if we could just do that eh? Goddess take ME and we are done with surrendering. If we could, we would probably promptly go insane. Mind can't handle such sudden changes of consciousness. 

  I seldom write about a particular hazard of new self realization, and especially ego death rituals.  It is a blank canvas, and anything you attach to will grow a new ego around it. The person does not notice... it becomes their reality but the new ego is kind of one dimensional. Like the single mindedness of a "born again" Christian. I call it "the duckling effect" attaching to the first 'big thing' that comes along.  Cults use it, part of brainwashing, kill the old ego and write the devoted one onto the blank slate....aka, how to make a Hitler.   There are no shortcuts.  The karmic predispositions remain in the body.
 
  Millions of decisions made of your own free will, your choice what to think or how to react to events, went into shaping your ego identity. Many decisions to reverse, surrender in pieces and layers as they come bubbling up from the unconscious mind under the management of your DB and the activity of Kundalini. 

  Slow and steady into realization, grants stability. Acclimation to letting go, not attaching that comes well in advance of attainment.  Ingrained habit of grounding, surrender, discernment... the 3 points of the FST triangle provide the smooth slide.

  It is different for Shamans, because we live half in the underworld all the time anyway, we are the walking dead... and the guide provides stability with a tendency to kick any new band aid ego through our own death gate before it can start to strangle our life force.
 
  Few years ago, working with a Shaman who had a strange tendency to grow new personalities out of karma taken on, I was inspired to a phrase... that I call "the phrase."

  The Phrase is "Goddess please take me, if I am not being me, in the moment." You can thank Her, then take a slow deep breath like a sigh of release, and repeat about 7x. More times if you want, 7 seems to be about enough to peel off what is manifesting as you in that moment, that really is not you... from empathic noise to cultural conditioning. I think it works because of that, the point of power is always in the here and now and so is the phrase.  Not the whole ego,  but only what is manifesting here and now.

  Fun when something new comes through.  Taught it at an FST chat sometime ago. Students found it useful, got back to me that they were applying it to all kinds of issues.  Enjoy!

[Nadja]

Dear Mystress,
thank you for your reply. It did it´s work. I am not understanding all of it, but I think I can feel what you meant.  Love Nadja

[Gopi]

Thank you for 'the phrase' Mystress.
Without going much into details, I had a traumatic childhood. Every time I have used 'the phrase' (7x times), it has helped me face, accept, grieve, unconditionally love, and integrate deep emotional wounds and past trauma in a manner that has honestly made me say that 'I am grateful for this moment'.
There have been times when the karmic intensity of past and angst of future have left me very debilitated, lonely, sad, and defeated. In those times, 1) dumping overload (3x times) 2) grounding, and 3) 'the phrase' (7x times) have brought immediate and immense relief to my own suffering and pain. I also generally meditate upon the phrase (almost like chanting) when my mind needs something to chew-on.
These three practices have helped me become more active, alert, alive, compassionate, creative, fun, mindful, healthy, grateful, and joyful to be in this body in this moment.
With every layer of the trauma-onion being peeled and healed *as Goddess sees fit*, I find it increasingly easier and rewarding to feel, explore, and experience the whole gamut of being human.
Just wanted to chime in with my experience.

[Nadja]

Thank you Gopi for sharing your experiences!